Note, This Chapter is written in 3 B. Three Beers and it sounds pretty good!

Chapter 14

Crock: Capteen! Zere es a leetle sheep comeeng towards us.
Markoff: Those hosiers are hailing us.
Kirk: MARKOFF, see WHAT they WANT.
Markoff: Ok. Good day eh, and welcome to the “Free Enterprise” Can we, like, be of service to you fine gentlemen?

Shiro: Yah! We’re here to kill the corrupt interpreter of the man who rules the universe.
Markoff: Oh, good for you, why don’t you try down by Microsoft headquarters, I hear there pretty corrupt, eh.
Chief: I don’t think so. You see, your Captain is that man.
Markoff: Ok, eh. I guess I’ll go, like tell him that.
Zaphod: That went well.

Zulu: Aramosa hiatok, readabok.
Irish: You take that back you crummy African!
Zulu: Hitoya gerenga, I-ris.
Kirk: GENTELMEN!
Irish: Ahem.
Kirk: And LADIES, please CALM down, WE have A potential CRISIS here.
Irish: I will if you get that bag of bones in a lion skin to apologize.
Kirk: Zulu, SAY you’re SORRY.
Zulu: Ungarada hedora.
Irish: Yah, You better be.
Crock: Capteen, Zee leetle sheep has latched onto uz.
Kirk: ALL red COATS too THE bridge. THERE are INTRUDERS in THE ship!

Instantly bridge was filled with the hive-minded redcoats. They quickly formed a box around Kirk and Crock, then the remaining redcoats swarmed out into the hall and waited, with guns raised. At the moment Chief stepped out around the corner, they fired as if they were one entity, which they were. Unfortunately for the front rows, the redcoats weren’t very smart. As the beams of energy hurtled towards Chief, the front three rows of redcoats collapsed. Shot in the back by their comrades. Suddenly everything went into slow motion, (It’s cooler that way) aanndd aass tthhee ccaammeerraa zzoooommeedd iinn,, ffoolloowwiinngg tthhee ppaatthh ooff tthhee bbeeaammss, Cchhiieeff wwhhiirrlleedd aarroouunndd aanndd ddoovvee ttoo tthhee ggrroouunndd. Time returned to normal, and a huge barrage of energy impacted the wall, inches above the Chief’s head. The wall flew backwards, revealing a hidden tunnel which lead straight to the bridge. Chief jumped up, motioned for the rest of the gang to go through, then followed them in. All was not well, however, because the back row of redcoats was still alive and kicking.

Trent: Go on, I’ll hold them off!
Tomakato: Are you sure? They still out number you 30 to one, you may very well be killed.
Trent: Are you kidding? I’m supposed to be the main character! The author wouldn’t dare kill me!
Shiro: He’s got a point, come on, lets go kill something.

A Redcoat whirled around the corner, strait into the bullet from Trents Detroit Munitions Tiger R3. A lack of brains splattered itself against the back wall.

Trent: Go on! Hurry!

So Tomakato, Shiro, Chief, and Annya rushed down the tunnel, leaving Trent, who was still firing madly at the Redcoats as they came through.

Annya: Ya know, he’s come a long way from where I came into the story.
Shiro: Ha, You have no idea. According to Zaphod, He was flying around in circles screaming when he found him.
Annya: That reminds me, where is Zaphod?
Chief: Back on the ship, “Like, keeping it safe, ya know.” Now shhh, we’re almost there.

There was still the odd shot echoing down the tunnel as they approached a thin wall separating the tunnel from the bridge.

Shiro: Ready? Lets rock this party!
Chief: One moment, there!

Chief smashed one of his enhanced arms into the metal wall, it buckled and gave. It flew across the room and smashed into a bank of computers. The room was filled with redcoats, all facing towards the main doors. As they swung around, their guns flew up and fired.

Annya: You idiots! Didn’t you learn anything?
Redcoats: What do you mean?
Tomakato: You just shot ¾ of your men, why did you do it?
Redcoats: Yes, but we shot you too.
Shiro: No you didn’t, you’re all lousy shots, you couldn’t hit the side of a barn if you were in one!
Redcoats: Yes we could, watch!

The Redcoats fired in all directions, the walls, the ceiling, and the floors. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on their views, more than enough soldiers shot downward. The floor suddenly gave way and collapsed. The mass of Redcoats fell through the floor, screaming. Suddenly, the room contained only the bridge crew and our gang of friendly misfits.
Kirk: WELL, now YOU have ARRIVED.
Chief: It is down to you, and it is down to me.
Kirk: WHAT do YOU want? A duel OF wits?
Chief: You’d loose.
Kirk: STRENGTH?
Chief: Miserably.
Kirk: OH yeah? PROVE it!
Chief: Arm wrestle?
Kirk: Yah! I was the champion of my class! You’ll LOSE!
Shiro: *Snicker*

And so the two sat down. One man was eight feet tall, totally encased in glowing green armor. The other was 50, balding, and getting rather fat around the middle. Yet smiling inanely.

Kirk: *Puff, puff*
Chief: *Whistle*
Kirk: *Wheeze*
Chief: Ready to start?
Kirk: WHAT? Oh, I might BE in TROUBLE

Giving the merest flick of the wrist, Chief broke Kirks arm in 3 different places, then smiled. Well, I guess he smiled, you can’t tell through all that armor.

Chief: Well?
Kirk: MOMMY!

The bridge crew stood there in awe.

Bridge Crew: WE ARE IN AWE!!!

Markoff: Well, I can’t really argue with that, I’ll just, uhh, go see what the Redcoats are doing! See you later, eh?

With that, Markoff jumped down the hole in the floor, and was quickly followed by both Irish and Zulu.

Zulu: GERONIMOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Tomakato: That’s the first word I’ve heard him say. Quick throw Kirk down there too.

Chief broke two of Kirks fingers in a grip that could have crushed stone, and dragged him over the pit.

Chief: *Whisper*
Kirk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo

Kirk picked himself up, and tossed himself down the chute.

Shiro: What did you say to him?
Chief: I told him the show was canceled after the third season, and if he lived, he would wind up wearing a rather rotten toupee.

Annya: I’d jump too if I wound up like that. Hey, where’s Trent?
Shiro: I think he’s still in the tunnel.

They all ran down the tunnel back to where they had left Trent. He was a little bit worse for wear from when they left him. But still breathing.

Trent: I… I thought he…
Shiro: Who?
Trent: The… The author… I didn’t think he would…
Chief: Hey man, we’ll pull through this, we can get you back to the Heart of Gold.
Trent: He’s killed me off…..

Trent gave a final rasping breath, then fell quiet.

Author: Boo Yah! How’s that for a cliffhanger ending! See ya’ll next chapter!


Edited by - Chupa on 12/15/2005 7:51:32 PM

ohhhhh trent will never return his books,his pizza will rot,the turkey will burn,his cat will die because no one feeds,his mailbox will be the largest in the universe......................................
anyway:THERE GOES THE MAJOR CARACTOR!!!







Edited by - MM2 on 12/16/2005 3:27:39 AM

chupa, you're sick, evil, and twisted...
I like that!
Keep the good stuff coming- we need our parody fix,and since SOMEONE-*looks
significantly at Starman* ahem! - hasn't posted, you're it

Hehe, MM2, believe it or not, I know what I'm doing....

>^-_-^<

My young kitten sleeps
Sleepy from overeating
Global Bunny lost

Now I suppose Trent will end upp bored in heaven. Or maybe a zombie. Or... hmm......... *long silence*

Trent will go between life and death and the Cheif will show 'im the respawn key riiight? lol anyways, more plz.

very good, and your grammar isnt bad either

some people say that crime didn't exist before GTA

Lol, thanks, just to let you know, Trent will STILL be in, How, I don't know.
No more updates till after new year probably.

>^-_-^<

My young kitten sleeps
Sleepy from overeating
Global Bunny lost

THE LAST CHAPTER....*


Zaphod and Co. flew towards the Planet of Shnoz, eagerly awaiting their next kill...

Zaphod: Shoot!
Tomakato: What?
Zaphod: Rollers.
Tomakato: No.
Zaphod: Yep.
Tomakato: Shoot.

Zaphod pulled the Heart of Gold off the hyperway, and cruised to a stop.

Shiro: I bet they Have SCMODS
Annya: Scu-mods?
Shiro: Space Cop Madly Overly Destructive Stuff. It lets them kill us for no particular reason.
Chief: But Were on a mission from God!

Unfortunately, a few seconds later. They all perrished in a miserable ball of expanding gasses.

Trent: Hey, thought you would get here soon.




THE END





OK, in explanation for my buchering of the main characters to end a story, I lost my A-Disk. (Tragic Music Playing) Plus, I got bored. Anyway, I figured I could let my other story drop, but I HAD to do something with this one. So, I thank my loyal fans, (All three of them) and bid you say good bye to everyone in this crazy story. Fear not, however, For I shall return bearing with me a story entitled "Gabrial's HALO" It will not have ANYTHING to do with FL, instead it will be a story of a Medic strugling to survive amid the chaos of HALO. I'll post it in the Amazing Stories section. This has been N. Santino M.

Thanks! ^.^

Lol, nice ending, well I spose it was pretty good.
Edit: (Verification: I spose the comedy was pretty good.)

Edited by - Mike951 on 1/30/2006 2:26:44 PM

No. Not really, Thanks anyway tho.

Aww, now one of my favorite threads are gone. And I know nothing about Halo, but guess I'll check your new fan fic out.

Nåja, det var kul sålänge det varade.