Well, if staman approves...
Now to understand the next chapeter, You must know who Samurai Cat is...
Samurai Cat, or Miowara Tomakato, is a ronin Samurai whoes lord was killed by a mob of extreamly diverse characters (Al Capone, The Predinator, and The wicked person of the West, just to name a few. Any way, he's a really awesome dude, who plays a big part in the story, if you dont like, dont read.
Oh yeah, he's got a nephew that follows him around, Shiro, who's seriously into high powered weapons.
Chapter 2
As Trent, the Chief, and Zaphod begin to work out their many problems, something else was happening across yet another dimension.
Audience: Not another one! Isn’t three enough?
No its not. We have to have at least one more because I say so. Anyway, across time, space, dimensions, and other weird stuff…
Ground Control: This is Ground Control to Major Tom; you’ve really made the grade!
Major Tom: Ummm, ground control, there’s a big meteor headed this. *Static Fizzz Crinkle Sheeekkk*
Hah, fooled you, I bet you thought Major Tom would be in this, well. He’s not. He died of asphyxiation when a meteor hit his ship. Actually…
Shiro: So who’s next, Uncle san? Now that we’ve killed Genghis Kahn and everyone else on your list, what are we going to do?
Miowara Tomakato: Good question Shiro. I think the first order of business would be punish you for selling that nuke to Quebec Terrorists.
Shiro: Whimpers
Wait, you say, aren’t you mixing genres? Well, yes I am, and there’s nothing you can do about it, this is MY story! To continue though,
Shiro: Uncle! What is that?
Tomakato: Look out, Shiro! It’s a plot vacuum!
That is correct, uncertain of what how to get his newest characters to the action that hasn’t started yet, the author created a plot vacuum (an advanced version of a plot hole) to suck Samurai Cat and his nephew Shiro through the dimensions to where Trent and Company were just getting to know each other.
Trent: Wow! You mean you really defeated an entire alien race by yourself! It took me an entire fleet and a weird alien artifact to destroy the Nomads!
Chief: Those blue things? Oh, I’ve blown up a whole bunch of them too.
Trent: Uhh oh, Sinclair won’t be happy about that!
Cortanna: Actually, I think Zaphod’s the best of all of us, I mean, how many presidents of the galaxy actually steal whatever they want?
Marvin the robot: Actually, all of them, but that would probably distress you. Most people are distressed when I talk with them. Here I am, brain the size of a planet-
Cortanna: That’s nothing; I have a brain the size of TWO planets!
Marvin: Oh yeah? Can you tell me what the 4982759276632926894716385628th digit of pi is?
Cortanna: Duh, 9. Can you tell me what the 92348573283724512226843762365th digit of the square root of two is?
Marvin (Becoming excited for the first time in his life): 5. Have I ever told you what my theory on life is?
Cortanna and Marvin go over to the corner and begin discussing processors, RAM, Memory, and sorts of other computer stuff.
Zaphod: Like, Wow. I’ve never seen Marvin like that; normally he’s a total drag, instead of, like, a partial drag.
Suddenly a Hole opens up, and in comes Tomakato and Shiro, of which the latter landed on Chiefs chest.
Shiro: Wow Uncle san, can we do that again? That was a lot of… ugrle gringle wow…
Tomakato: Shiro, stop drooling on the man’s rocket launcher.
Shiro: I’m in love; it’s even bigger than the Gatling Avenger!
Tomakato: Oh, hello, I am Miowara Tomakato, this is my nephew, Shiro, and we seemed to have been sucked through a plot vacuum to arrive here. Wherever here is…
Trent and Chief: Good question!
Zaphod: Oh, we’re just cruising around. You know, having a good time.
Shiro: Hey Unc, this guy says that he’s killed a lot of aliens; can we go do that too?
Tomakato: That depends if these good people lend us their ship.
Zaphod: Actually, since I’ve got all you fighting people with me, How about we go take over Galactic Headquarters?
___________________________________________________________________
Oh, Wilde, I SAID it was a rip off, in the begining, ya know?
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A Medley of Problems. Next chapter is up!
Read, add and comment on excellent written stories by fans, set within the Freelancer universe
Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:46 am
Dont look at me, I didn't write it, Oh yeah, I did.
Chapter 3
Trent: Wait a minute; you actually want us to take over the Galaxy?
Zaphod: Sure, why not? We could have a really great time.
Chief: Oh the killing things would be fun, but what would we do after that? I’m not sure I’d like to rule the galaxy, unless it’s the one I was born in.
Zaphod: Yah, but you’ll get to steal a lot of great ships like this one. I bet your ship never turned you into a penguin, or saved you from, like, a nuclear missile by turning it into a whale.
Trent: Yah, I read about that! And a bowl of petunias, right? Wait a minute, my book says the ruler of the galaxy lives in a shack with his cat, and makes no sense at all!
Zaphod: What book is that?
Trent: Uhh, the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Zaphod: Odd, must be the new edition. But I wasn’t, like, talking about that guy, I was talking about the six men who interpret him.
Chief: Ok, sounds good. Lets go blow stuff into little tiny pieces.
Shiro: Hey, that sounds cool, Can I come? Can I Unc? You know if you say no I’ll just come anyway. I wanna blow stuff up too! Pleasseeeee???
Tomakato: Hush Shiro. Mister Beeblebrox,
Zaphod: Huh, please, it’s Zaphod, and let the Kitty come along.
Shiro (in background): I am not a kitten! I bet I’ve killed more people than you have!
Tomakato: Very well, Zaphod, normally I only kill the people on the list of people who helped murder my lord, but as I have finished wreaking vengeance upon them, I shall now have to do something like expel the corrupt. Are these leaders corrupted?
Zaphod: I’ll say they are. Do you know, one time, like, I was going to buy some chocolate, and like, this guy came up, grabbed my money, and told me he was going to be able to buy a lot with all my dough.
Trent: This was one of the rulers of the Galaxy?
Zaphod: No, it was my older brother, but I bet he was in their employment.
Shiro: Sounds good, we’re in!
Zaphod: And, like, the rest of you?
Chief: Sure, beats staying here and listen to those two talk
Cortanna and Marvin were sitting in the corner, talking quickly about their feelings on Bill Gates.
Cortanna: Yes, he can’t build a processor to save his life, but without him, I wouldn’t be here.
Trent: That’s just wrong, I’ll come too.
Zaphod: Ohh, yeah sure, you can come, I guess.
And so, a two-headed man, a one headed man, a Spartan, and two 6-foot tall cats began to fly towards the capital city of “Greatasityzenugot” Which, in international Galactic, means “The place where the six interpreters of the ruler of the galaxy live”
Trent: Wow! It’s so cool! The entire planet is one big city!
Ground control: Foerefav eowrghe cesoiuge vweoiuryg? Cwqoeihgel dowertur deo.
Zaphod: Oh, duh, I forgot to get you guys Babble Fishes, here every one over to the tank.
Everyone turned around and began to walk towards the Acme Babble Fish Storage Tank.
Tomakato: Shiro! What are you doing?
Shiro: Uncle San! I love this place; all the vending machines are free!
Trent: Ahh, you have a fish tail stuck between your teeth.
Zaphod: Well, since someone, like, ATE all the Babble Fishes, I’ll just have to translate.
Ground control: Foerefav eowrghe cesoiuge vweoiuryg? Cwqoeihgel dowertur deo.
Zaphod: He says, “Stand by, we’re full at the moment, you will be cleared to proceed when it’s free.”
Trent: Déjà vu!
Chapter 3
Trent: Wait a minute; you actually want us to take over the Galaxy?
Zaphod: Sure, why not? We could have a really great time.
Chief: Oh the killing things would be fun, but what would we do after that? I’m not sure I’d like to rule the galaxy, unless it’s the one I was born in.
Zaphod: Yah, but you’ll get to steal a lot of great ships like this one. I bet your ship never turned you into a penguin, or saved you from, like, a nuclear missile by turning it into a whale.
Trent: Yah, I read about that! And a bowl of petunias, right? Wait a minute, my book says the ruler of the galaxy lives in a shack with his cat, and makes no sense at all!
Zaphod: What book is that?
Trent: Uhh, the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Zaphod: Odd, must be the new edition. But I wasn’t, like, talking about that guy, I was talking about the six men who interpret him.
Chief: Ok, sounds good. Lets go blow stuff into little tiny pieces.
Shiro: Hey, that sounds cool, Can I come? Can I Unc? You know if you say no I’ll just come anyway. I wanna blow stuff up too! Pleasseeeee???
Tomakato: Hush Shiro. Mister Beeblebrox,
Zaphod: Huh, please, it’s Zaphod, and let the Kitty come along.
Shiro (in background): I am not a kitten! I bet I’ve killed more people than you have!
Tomakato: Very well, Zaphod, normally I only kill the people on the list of people who helped murder my lord, but as I have finished wreaking vengeance upon them, I shall now have to do something like expel the corrupt. Are these leaders corrupted?
Zaphod: I’ll say they are. Do you know, one time, like, I was going to buy some chocolate, and like, this guy came up, grabbed my money, and told me he was going to be able to buy a lot with all my dough.
Trent: This was one of the rulers of the Galaxy?
Zaphod: No, it was my older brother, but I bet he was in their employment.
Shiro: Sounds good, we’re in!
Zaphod: And, like, the rest of you?
Chief: Sure, beats staying here and listen to those two talk
Cortanna and Marvin were sitting in the corner, talking quickly about their feelings on Bill Gates.
Cortanna: Yes, he can’t build a processor to save his life, but without him, I wouldn’t be here.
Trent: That’s just wrong, I’ll come too.
Zaphod: Ohh, yeah sure, you can come, I guess.
And so, a two-headed man, a one headed man, a Spartan, and two 6-foot tall cats began to fly towards the capital city of “Greatasityzenugot” Which, in international Galactic, means “The place where the six interpreters of the ruler of the galaxy live”
Trent: Wow! It’s so cool! The entire planet is one big city!
Ground control: Foerefav eowrghe cesoiuge vweoiuryg? Cwqoeihgel dowertur deo.
Zaphod: Oh, duh, I forgot to get you guys Babble Fishes, here every one over to the tank.
Everyone turned around and began to walk towards the Acme Babble Fish Storage Tank.
Tomakato: Shiro! What are you doing?
Shiro: Uncle San! I love this place; all the vending machines are free!
Trent: Ahh, you have a fish tail stuck between your teeth.
Zaphod: Well, since someone, like, ATE all the Babble Fishes, I’ll just have to translate.
Ground control: Foerefav eowrghe cesoiuge vweoiuryg? Cwqoeihgel dowertur deo.
Zaphod: He says, “Stand by, we’re full at the moment, you will be cleared to proceed when it’s free.”
Trent: Déjà vu!
Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:00 pm
Thank you, I'll start using ojisan, but as I'm still 2 or 3 chapters ahead of the game...
Chapter 4
Zaphod: Well it’s, like, about time, I thought we’d never get through the waiting queue.
Chief: Yeah, and when the contraband guards came aboard, whew, I thought they had us!
Trent: Why? Light arms aren’t contraband.
Shiro: Yeah but this gun Chief gave me sure isn’t light!
Shiro waves a Jackhammer Rocket Launcher around, scarring the living daylights out of all present.
Tomakato: Shiro! Stop waving that Jackhammer Rocket Launcher around! You’re scarring the living daylights out of all present!
Zaphod: Shhh, we’re landing, ok… What’s the plan?
Trent: What? You don’t have a plan? I’M TRAPPED IN A COMPLETELY UNKNOWN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND YOU DON’T HAVE A PLAN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Zaphod: Like, Cat-man, can you like, quiet him down?
Tomakato: *Smack with a kattana*
Trent: X_x
Shiro: Yah Unc! That will put him out for a while!
Chief: How about this, we land, then we all go out with our guns and shoot everyone in sight, then we go in the capital building and shoot everyone in sight, then we run back out and shoot everyone in sight, then we run back to the ship and take off!
Zaphod: Yah that might work!
Shiro: I think you missed a couple people over in the lobby.
Chief: Oh yeah, we can kill them too.
Tomakato: I do not like such a wanton approach. How about we sneak past the guards at the landing pad, then sneak into the building, capture the rulers of the galaxy, and sneak back to the ship?
Shiro: The people in the lobby saw you.
Tomakato: They’re already dead. Chief shot them.
Zaphod: Lets like, compromise, we sneak past the guards at the landing pad, then kill everyone in the capital building, then capture the rulers, sneak back to the ship, and then blow up any parked ships we see!
Chief: MMMMMMMM, Ships blowing up….
Tomakato: I will go along with that plan.
Trent: Ugh Rungle Wakka Wakka, Robble Pony Lifer.
Tomakato: *Smack*
Zaphod: Wait, we might need him.
Tomakato: For what?
Zaphod: I don’t know, cannon fodder?
Tomakato: Ok, *UnSmack*
Trent: Ugh, what UnHit me?
And so, the unlikely quintet quietly creeps past the S. S. Guards.
Guard: Oberleutenant Barney, we think there is a quintet of unlikely characters trying to sneak past us!
Oberleutenant Barney: Now why would they do that? And, if they were sneaky, then how did you see them?
Guard: Perhaps they are smuggling in daffodils! I don’t know why I saw them, though… I think the author wanted me too.
Oberleutenant Barney: Daffodils! The bane of my existence! Quickly, deploy the sleeping tapes!
Sleeping Tapes: “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor, would you be mine? Could you be mine?”
Trent: Uhh, I feel suddenly overcome with boredom.
Tomakato: The strength is sapped from my limbs…
Zaphod: Hey, I can’t see, what happened to my sunglassssssssssss…………
Chief: *Snore*
Our heroes were then taken to an underground bunker, the hindquarters of the Greatasityzenugot Secret Police. Headquarters. I mean Headquarters.
Oberleutenant Barney: Well, My dear smugglers. You awaken. Would you care to tell me what you are doing in Greatasityzenugot?
Zaphod: Oh, we were just, like, passing through ya know.
Chief: I’m going to see my great grandmother.
Tomakato: There is a sale on milk down in the local market.
Trent: LIGHT ARMS AREN’T CONTRABAND!!!!!!!!!!
Shiro: o_O
Oberleutenant Barney: True, but THESE are contraband! Would you like to explain to me what daffodils were doing on your ship?
Zaphod: PLANTED! They were planted!
Oberleutenant Barney: Yes, but planted by whom? You, I think, and planting daffodils is a very serious crime here in Greatasityzenugot. I think to punish you…
Chief: Yes?
Oberleutenant Barney: To punish you I will…
Shiro: What?
Oberleutenant Barney: I think that I shall…
Trent: I’M TO YOUNG TO DIE! IF I DIE, WHO WILL RETURN MY LIBRARY BOOKS?
Oberleutenant Barney: I shall make you watch videos.
Zaphod: Oh, that’s not that bad then.
Oberleutenant Barney: Of my previous career.
Tomakato: *Gasp* I know you; you helped finance my lords murder! You are-
Oberleutenant Barney: Yes! I am Barney the Dinosaur!
Zaphod: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Chief: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Tomakato: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Shiro: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Trent: Oh, I remember that show, I rather liked it!
Oberleutenant Barney: We shall see, my daffodil planting friends, We Shall See.
Chapter 4
Zaphod: Well it’s, like, about time, I thought we’d never get through the waiting queue.
Chief: Yeah, and when the contraband guards came aboard, whew, I thought they had us!
Trent: Why? Light arms aren’t contraband.
Shiro: Yeah but this gun Chief gave me sure isn’t light!
Shiro waves a Jackhammer Rocket Launcher around, scarring the living daylights out of all present.
Tomakato: Shiro! Stop waving that Jackhammer Rocket Launcher around! You’re scarring the living daylights out of all present!
Zaphod: Shhh, we’re landing, ok… What’s the plan?
Trent: What? You don’t have a plan? I’M TRAPPED IN A COMPLETELY UNKNOWN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND YOU DON’T HAVE A PLAN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Zaphod: Like, Cat-man, can you like, quiet him down?
Tomakato: *Smack with a kattana*
Trent: X_x
Shiro: Yah Unc! That will put him out for a while!
Chief: How about this, we land, then we all go out with our guns and shoot everyone in sight, then we go in the capital building and shoot everyone in sight, then we run back out and shoot everyone in sight, then we run back to the ship and take off!
Zaphod: Yah that might work!
Shiro: I think you missed a couple people over in the lobby.
Chief: Oh yeah, we can kill them too.
Tomakato: I do not like such a wanton approach. How about we sneak past the guards at the landing pad, then sneak into the building, capture the rulers of the galaxy, and sneak back to the ship?
Shiro: The people in the lobby saw you.
Tomakato: They’re already dead. Chief shot them.
Zaphod: Lets like, compromise, we sneak past the guards at the landing pad, then kill everyone in the capital building, then capture the rulers, sneak back to the ship, and then blow up any parked ships we see!
Chief: MMMMMMMM, Ships blowing up….
Tomakato: I will go along with that plan.
Trent: Ugh Rungle Wakka Wakka, Robble Pony Lifer.
Tomakato: *Smack*
Zaphod: Wait, we might need him.
Tomakato: For what?
Zaphod: I don’t know, cannon fodder?
Tomakato: Ok, *UnSmack*
Trent: Ugh, what UnHit me?
And so, the unlikely quintet quietly creeps past the S. S. Guards.
Guard: Oberleutenant Barney, we think there is a quintet of unlikely characters trying to sneak past us!
Oberleutenant Barney: Now why would they do that? And, if they were sneaky, then how did you see them?
Guard: Perhaps they are smuggling in daffodils! I don’t know why I saw them, though… I think the author wanted me too.
Oberleutenant Barney: Daffodils! The bane of my existence! Quickly, deploy the sleeping tapes!
Sleeping Tapes: “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor, would you be mine? Could you be mine?”
Trent: Uhh, I feel suddenly overcome with boredom.
Tomakato: The strength is sapped from my limbs…
Zaphod: Hey, I can’t see, what happened to my sunglassssssssssss…………
Chief: *Snore*
Our heroes were then taken to an underground bunker, the hindquarters of the Greatasityzenugot Secret Police. Headquarters. I mean Headquarters.
Oberleutenant Barney: Well, My dear smugglers. You awaken. Would you care to tell me what you are doing in Greatasityzenugot?
Zaphod: Oh, we were just, like, passing through ya know.
Chief: I’m going to see my great grandmother.
Tomakato: There is a sale on milk down in the local market.
Trent: LIGHT ARMS AREN’T CONTRABAND!!!!!!!!!!
Shiro: o_O
Oberleutenant Barney: True, but THESE are contraband! Would you like to explain to me what daffodils were doing on your ship?
Zaphod: PLANTED! They were planted!
Oberleutenant Barney: Yes, but planted by whom? You, I think, and planting daffodils is a very serious crime here in Greatasityzenugot. I think to punish you…
Chief: Yes?
Oberleutenant Barney: To punish you I will…
Shiro: What?
Oberleutenant Barney: I think that I shall…
Trent: I’M TO YOUNG TO DIE! IF I DIE, WHO WILL RETURN MY LIBRARY BOOKS?
Oberleutenant Barney: I shall make you watch videos.
Zaphod: Oh, that’s not that bad then.
Oberleutenant Barney: Of my previous career.
Tomakato: *Gasp* I know you; you helped finance my lords murder! You are-
Oberleutenant Barney: Yes! I am Barney the Dinosaur!
Zaphod: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Chief: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Tomakato: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Shiro: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Trent: Oh, I remember that show, I rather liked it!
Oberleutenant Barney: We shall see, my daffodil planting friends, We Shall See.
Wed Oct 26, 2005 4:37 pm
HOW could I know all these charactors, HOW!!!!! And write more; or I shall trow my grenade at you!
"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
Thu Oct 27, 2005 1:06 pm
Nederbord, I realize I've gone overboard with Trent, but I think it's safe to say I've already got enough muscle, and needed some comic relief. However I will keep your suggestion in mind, and by the end of the story, he'll probably be quite a bit braver.
*Wink* Thanks for the encouragement.
*Wink* Thanks for the encouragement.
Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:32 pm
LOL, yup. Here ya go,
Chapter 5
Television: “I love you, you love me”
Zaphod: No! Make it stop!
Television: “We’re a happy family”
Shiro: Unc, Put an end to this madness!
Television: “With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you”
Trent: Won’t you say you love me too! All right, put on the next episode guys!
Oberleutenant Barney: Strange, even my most gruesome episodes have no effect on this one. What is wrong with him that he would like the garbage that the foolish humans call “Entertainment”.
Trent: Oh, do you have any Smurf’s?
Chief: That’s it; I can’t take it any more! We are Leaving. We are going. Now. Good-bye.
With one awesome flex of his enhanced muscles, the Master Chief sends the restraining straps snapping into belt H-E-Double Hockey sticks, (HA Beat the censor!)
Shiro: Hey, if you could do that, why didn’t you do it back before we had to watch all those episodes of Barney?
Chief: The author was out playing Battlefield 2, he didn’t have time for us.
Tomakato: Well, it’s obvious that he has returned.
Oberleutenant Barney: Guards, quickly, to the torture chamber! We have a prisoner escaping!
Tomakato: Chief, undo my bonds, then free everyone else and get out of here, I can hold off the guards.
Zaphod: Are you sure you want, like, to throw your life away like that? You wont last long going up against armed guards.
Tomakato: Who says I’m not armed?
With that, Tomakato pulls out from his pocket a collapsible kattana.
Shiro: Wow Uncle san, can I have one of those for my birthday?
Tomakato: Hush, Nephew, and run. Quickly!
Trent: LETS GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GUARDS ARE COMING THE GUARDS ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chief: Shut up and get behind me, moron.
The four (roughly) humanoid figures rushed down the hall, leaving behind one seriously awesome pussycat to face 10 seriously lacking guards.
Guard: Hey look! Surrender Cat! I’ve found you!
Tomakato: I shall never willingly give up my sword to scum such as yourself.
Guard 2: Hey, stupid, don’t you realize we have really cool looking guns?
Tomakato: Well, I thought you would have known better.
Guard 7: Better than what?
Tomakato: Never bring a gun to a knife fight.
Before (ARRGGGHH) you could say (AHHHKKKKGGGRLLL) “What a stud” (GURGLE) Tomakato had (FZZT FZZT) decapitated, (SPLAT) butchered, (EEEEEEKKKKKKK) Impaled (BLAHHHHHH) and otherwise (MOMMMMYYYY) Destroyed all ten (OWWWW) guards. (YA GOT MEEEE….)
Dead Guard: Wow, what fine swordplay.
Other Dead Guard: Where did you learn to do that?
More Other Dead Guard: It was a pleasure being killed by you. Sort of.
Tomakato: Well, now that I have saved my friends, there is a corrupt interpreter to capture.
Meanwhile, in another part of the city
Trent: WHAT DO WE DO! WE’RE GONNA BE SEEN! WE’RE GONNA BE KILLED!!!
Zaphod: Look, what does you’re, like, book say.
Trent: This? All it says is “Douglas Adams”
Zaphod: Hmmm, wrong volume.
Chief: Actually, I think we could make it to the ship if we ran quickly enough.
Shiro: It would be even better if we had some sort of distraction.
Trent: What? Why is everyone staring at me?
Zaphod: Look Earth Man,
Trent: I’m not from Earth. I’m from Leeds!
Zaphod: Yah, like I said, Earth. But look, all you gotta do is go over that way, and act normally.
Trent: How do I act normally?
Shiro: Run around like a chicken with your head cut off.
Trent: Umm, mister Landing Guard?
LG: URGH?
Trent: Umm, could, you umm, show me where, umm where the restroom is?
Chief: OK, as soon as the guard gets up, everyone run for the ship.
LG: Down the hall to the left.
Trent: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chief: Now what?
Trent: IT’S GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was indeed Godzilla. Tired of crushing Tokyo, he had warped over to add a little zest to this story, which is getting bogged down already.
Trent: GODZILLA!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!
Shiro: For once he’s right, lets go!!!!
Chief: But what about Tomakato? We can’t just leave him here, can we?
Zaphod: Sure, Why not?
Shiro: Godzilla’s foot! Run!
With no further ado, everyone sprinted to the heart of gold, where, to their surprise…
Tomakato: Ahh, it is about time you got back. How could it have taken you that long to come to the ship? I actually had time to sneak into the capital building and capture the Secretary of the Interpreters
Secretary: Keep the cat away from me! I’ll tell you everything! I hate the smell of Tuna!
Shiro O_o Hey Trent, I think you two could get along.
Trent: But to answer you’re question, we stopped to watch The Untouchables.
Tomakato: With Robert DeNiro?
Trent: No, the other one.
Zaphod: Boy, is nothing sacred?
Chief: I don’t know, but… “So Endeth the Chapter”
Chapter 5
Television: “I love you, you love me”
Zaphod: No! Make it stop!
Television: “We’re a happy family”
Shiro: Unc, Put an end to this madness!
Television: “With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you”
Trent: Won’t you say you love me too! All right, put on the next episode guys!
Oberleutenant Barney: Strange, even my most gruesome episodes have no effect on this one. What is wrong with him that he would like the garbage that the foolish humans call “Entertainment”.
Trent: Oh, do you have any Smurf’s?
Chief: That’s it; I can’t take it any more! We are Leaving. We are going. Now. Good-bye.
With one awesome flex of his enhanced muscles, the Master Chief sends the restraining straps snapping into belt H-E-Double Hockey sticks, (HA Beat the censor!)
Shiro: Hey, if you could do that, why didn’t you do it back before we had to watch all those episodes of Barney?
Chief: The author was out playing Battlefield 2, he didn’t have time for us.
Tomakato: Well, it’s obvious that he has returned.
Oberleutenant Barney: Guards, quickly, to the torture chamber! We have a prisoner escaping!
Tomakato: Chief, undo my bonds, then free everyone else and get out of here, I can hold off the guards.
Zaphod: Are you sure you want, like, to throw your life away like that? You wont last long going up against armed guards.
Tomakato: Who says I’m not armed?
With that, Tomakato pulls out from his pocket a collapsible kattana.
Shiro: Wow Uncle san, can I have one of those for my birthday?
Tomakato: Hush, Nephew, and run. Quickly!
Trent: LETS GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GUARDS ARE COMING THE GUARDS ARE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chief: Shut up and get behind me, moron.
The four (roughly) humanoid figures rushed down the hall, leaving behind one seriously awesome pussycat to face 10 seriously lacking guards.
Guard: Hey look! Surrender Cat! I’ve found you!
Tomakato: I shall never willingly give up my sword to scum such as yourself.
Guard 2: Hey, stupid, don’t you realize we have really cool looking guns?
Tomakato: Well, I thought you would have known better.
Guard 7: Better than what?
Tomakato: Never bring a gun to a knife fight.
Before (ARRGGGHH) you could say (AHHHKKKKGGGRLLL) “What a stud” (GURGLE) Tomakato had (FZZT FZZT) decapitated, (SPLAT) butchered, (EEEEEEKKKKKKK) Impaled (BLAHHHHHH) and otherwise (MOMMMMYYYY) Destroyed all ten (OWWWW) guards. (YA GOT MEEEE….)
Dead Guard: Wow, what fine swordplay.
Other Dead Guard: Where did you learn to do that?
More Other Dead Guard: It was a pleasure being killed by you. Sort of.
Tomakato: Well, now that I have saved my friends, there is a corrupt interpreter to capture.
Meanwhile, in another part of the city
Trent: WHAT DO WE DO! WE’RE GONNA BE SEEN! WE’RE GONNA BE KILLED!!!
Zaphod: Look, what does you’re, like, book say.
Trent: This? All it says is “Douglas Adams”
Zaphod: Hmmm, wrong volume.
Chief: Actually, I think we could make it to the ship if we ran quickly enough.
Shiro: It would be even better if we had some sort of distraction.
Trent: What? Why is everyone staring at me?
Zaphod: Look Earth Man,
Trent: I’m not from Earth. I’m from Leeds!
Zaphod: Yah, like I said, Earth. But look, all you gotta do is go over that way, and act normally.
Trent: How do I act normally?
Shiro: Run around like a chicken with your head cut off.
Trent: Umm, mister Landing Guard?
LG: URGH?
Trent: Umm, could, you umm, show me where, umm where the restroom is?
Chief: OK, as soon as the guard gets up, everyone run for the ship.
LG: Down the hall to the left.
Trent: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chief: Now what?
Trent: IT’S GODZILLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was indeed Godzilla. Tired of crushing Tokyo, he had warped over to add a little zest to this story, which is getting bogged down already.
Trent: GODZILLA!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!
Shiro: For once he’s right, lets go!!!!
Chief: But what about Tomakato? We can’t just leave him here, can we?
Zaphod: Sure, Why not?
Shiro: Godzilla’s foot! Run!
With no further ado, everyone sprinted to the heart of gold, where, to their surprise…
Tomakato: Ahh, it is about time you got back. How could it have taken you that long to come to the ship? I actually had time to sneak into the capital building and capture the Secretary of the Interpreters
Secretary: Keep the cat away from me! I’ll tell you everything! I hate the smell of Tuna!
Shiro O_o Hey Trent, I think you two could get along.
Trent: But to answer you’re question, we stopped to watch The Untouchables.
Tomakato: With Robert DeNiro?
Trent: No, the other one.
Zaphod: Boy, is nothing sacred?
Chief: I don’t know, but… “So Endeth the Chapter”
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