Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:51 pm
A Medley of Problems. Next chapter is up!
A Medley of Problems
Note, the style is a blatant rip off of Starman Omega’s great work, Blast, I cant remember the name. Oh yeah, A Freelancer Parody. Anyway. On to the problems.
Introduction
Battleship Osiris
Two and a Half years after the Nomad Invasion
Orillian: “I know, Col. Trent, your month of vacation isn’t over yet. But we have a serious problem.”
Trent: “But I don’t wanna come back yet… Sir”
Orillian: “At this point, I don’t really care”
Juni: “Trent! Get over here now!”
Trent: “On my way!”
What Orillian was in such a fuss about, was what appeared to be a space-time continuum. Out of it had just fallen an infinite number of Monkeys, a script for Hamlet, and an arm. Complete with a digital watch.
Trent: Ok, boss I’m here. Waddya want?
Juni: Bout time, bonehead.
Orillian: Well, Col. Trent, what do you think of that?
Trent: Where?
Orillian: There.
Trent: Huh?
Orillian: Over there…
Trent: Where?
Juni: LOOK THAT DIRECTION!!!!
Trent: Oh that, yeah. Hmm, looks like a rip in the space-time continuum.
Orillian: What makes you say that?
Trent: Dunno, the author, I guess.
Orillian: Well, the things that fell through the rip seem to indicate-
Arm lands on windshield of the Osiris.
Trent: Ohhhhhh, a digital watch, cool.
Orillian: As I was saying, the things that fell through the rip indicate a parallel universe on the other side of the rip, and we are going to explore it.
Trent: Wow, good for you, I hope you have a good time.
Orillian: No, we. As in You.
Trent: Oh, bummer.
Orillian: Judging from the things that that fell out, we think this book might be useful to you.
Trent: Hmm, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I’ve never heard of it. What’s it about?
Orillian: You can read it on the way over.
Trent: I’ve never heard of the Adams guy. I wonder if he’s any good.
Orillian: Lets go already.
Juni: Come on guys! Lets go Shopping…for Guns!
Trent and Orillian gag. But they go to the dealer, outfit their ships, and fly outside.
Juni: All right Trent, You go first.
Trent: I don’t know, it’s kind of scary.
Juni: Go. Now.
Trent: Do I have to?
Orillian: Yes.
Trent: But-
Juni: Look bozo, how many times have we had this conversation? You ALWAYS go first, we ALWAYS come after you. Have you ever had any reason to complain?
Trent: Well, no, not that I can remember.
Juni: Well then….
Trent: All right, I’m going.
Trent flies through the time continuum, jumps into a parallel universe, gets destroyed three times, gets put together 5 times, and winds up in a very strange place.
Trent: Ok its safe, come on over.
Trent: Guys?
Trent: Helllooooo?
Juni: (over radio) HA! We fooled you, have a fun time exploring!
Suddenly the rip seals itself, forever separating the two universes.
Trent: WHAT??? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Trent flies around in circles, shrieking.
Trent: WHAT DO I DO???? WHAT DO I DO???? HOW DO I GET BACK!!! I HAVE THREE LIBRARY BOOKS THAT ARE OVERDUE!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A large silver spaceship flies up, Trent continues to fly around in circles.
Trent: AND I LEFT MY CAT OUTSIDE!!!! AND MY MAIL WILL PILE UP AND I WONT BE ABLE TO CHECK IT!!!!! AND THE OVENS ON!!!!!!! THE TURKEY WILL BURN!!!!!!!
Person in large silver ship: Ummm, like, wow, that’s a problem. Can I, like, help you?
Trent: Not really no. AND THE PIZZA I LEFT UNDER MY BED WILL MOLD!!!!! AND THE Wait, what? Who are you!?!?!?
PILSS: Me, Like, you don’t know who I am? Wow, what rock did you crawl out from?
Trent: I’d rather not talk about it.
PILSS: Well, My name is Zaphod Beeblebrox, who are you?
Trent: Errm, wait a minute.
Trent begins to leaf through his copy of the guide.
Trent: AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Zaphod: Not this again.
Trent: YOU’RE THE PRESIDENT OF THE GALAXY!
Trent Faints.
Ph34r d4 C/-//_/p4c4br4
Edited by - Chupa on 12/15/2005 7:52:10 PM
Note, the style is a blatant rip off of Starman Omega’s great work, Blast, I cant remember the name. Oh yeah, A Freelancer Parody. Anyway. On to the problems.
Introduction
Battleship Osiris
Two and a Half years after the Nomad Invasion
Orillian: “I know, Col. Trent, your month of vacation isn’t over yet. But we have a serious problem.”
Trent: “But I don’t wanna come back yet… Sir”
Orillian: “At this point, I don’t really care”
Juni: “Trent! Get over here now!”
Trent: “On my way!”
What Orillian was in such a fuss about, was what appeared to be a space-time continuum. Out of it had just fallen an infinite number of Monkeys, a script for Hamlet, and an arm. Complete with a digital watch.
Trent: Ok, boss I’m here. Waddya want?
Juni: Bout time, bonehead.
Orillian: Well, Col. Trent, what do you think of that?
Trent: Where?
Orillian: There.
Trent: Huh?
Orillian: Over there…
Trent: Where?
Juni: LOOK THAT DIRECTION!!!!
Trent: Oh that, yeah. Hmm, looks like a rip in the space-time continuum.
Orillian: What makes you say that?
Trent: Dunno, the author, I guess.
Orillian: Well, the things that fell through the rip seem to indicate-
Arm lands on windshield of the Osiris.
Trent: Ohhhhhh, a digital watch, cool.
Orillian: As I was saying, the things that fell through the rip indicate a parallel universe on the other side of the rip, and we are going to explore it.
Trent: Wow, good for you, I hope you have a good time.
Orillian: No, we. As in You.
Trent: Oh, bummer.
Orillian: Judging from the things that that fell out, we think this book might be useful to you.
Trent: Hmm, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I’ve never heard of it. What’s it about?
Orillian: You can read it on the way over.
Trent: I’ve never heard of the Adams guy. I wonder if he’s any good.
Orillian: Lets go already.
Juni: Come on guys! Lets go Shopping…for Guns!
Trent and Orillian gag. But they go to the dealer, outfit their ships, and fly outside.
Juni: All right Trent, You go first.
Trent: I don’t know, it’s kind of scary.
Juni: Go. Now.
Trent: Do I have to?
Orillian: Yes.
Trent: But-
Juni: Look bozo, how many times have we had this conversation? You ALWAYS go first, we ALWAYS come after you. Have you ever had any reason to complain?
Trent: Well, no, not that I can remember.
Juni: Well then….
Trent: All right, I’m going.
Trent flies through the time continuum, jumps into a parallel universe, gets destroyed three times, gets put together 5 times, and winds up in a very strange place.
Trent: Ok its safe, come on over.
Trent: Guys?
Trent: Helllooooo?
Juni: (over radio) HA! We fooled you, have a fun time exploring!
Suddenly the rip seals itself, forever separating the two universes.
Trent: WHAT??? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Trent flies around in circles, shrieking.
Trent: WHAT DO I DO???? WHAT DO I DO???? HOW DO I GET BACK!!! I HAVE THREE LIBRARY BOOKS THAT ARE OVERDUE!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A large silver spaceship flies up, Trent continues to fly around in circles.
Trent: AND I LEFT MY CAT OUTSIDE!!!! AND MY MAIL WILL PILE UP AND I WONT BE ABLE TO CHECK IT!!!!! AND THE OVENS ON!!!!!!! THE TURKEY WILL BURN!!!!!!!
Person in large silver ship: Ummm, like, wow, that’s a problem. Can I, like, help you?
Trent: Not really no. AND THE PIZZA I LEFT UNDER MY BED WILL MOLD!!!!! AND THE Wait, what? Who are you!?!?!?
PILSS: Me, Like, you don’t know who I am? Wow, what rock did you crawl out from?
Trent: I’d rather not talk about it.
PILSS: Well, My name is Zaphod Beeblebrox, who are you?
Trent: Errm, wait a minute.
Trent begins to leaf through his copy of the guide.
Trent: AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Zaphod: Not this again.
Trent: YOU’RE THE PRESIDENT OF THE GALAXY!
Trent Faints.
Ph34r d4 C/-//_/p4c4br4
Edited by - Chupa on 12/15/2005 7:52:10 PM
