...............

Captured Pt. 8: Betrayed


" What are you, crazy!" " No, Juni, did you notice that when we were rescuing Prededient Jacobi in Alaska, there was an unknown planet not too far from the prision station?" " Yeh, so what?" " It might be like Vespus in Omicron Theta, the remaining human population might have set up a base there. We might get together enough rebels to make one final assult against the Nomads and win them over." The pilot of the Rienland came up and said that we could use one of the ships. He also explained that we were really only traveling for three months and that we had come the rest of the way to Centauri through a jumphole. "Lets go." Juni protested but Trent just told her to load up her stuff and that he had a plan. As juni went into the Rienland to get her things, she finally noticed that the artifact was missing. Juni came bursting out of the ship, and Trent finally said that one of the crew members aboard the Rienland was infested with a nomad and had stolen the artifact. Trent ordered that him and Juni had to go and get it back. " Ok, Lets suit up." Out of the corner of Trents eye he could see a blue light. " Your not going anywhere!" a voice thundered. We turned and looked to see, with blue glowing eyes, floating about three feet above the ground, was Lord Hakkura.......


End of Captured Pt. 8

Edited by - killa on 6/16/2004 1:00:14 PM

Excuse me for critiscism, but this is kinda ridiculous. If the nomads can travel so fast, anbd kill planets and stuff, whats to stop them from simply annihilating every planet in Sirius, even the uninhabited ones.

And if the nomads can so easily destory your ships, why not shoot the escape pods?

And how come it takes two people to kamakaze with a "quatum-antimatter" :p bomb?

Edited by - History Buff on 6/16/2004 10:20:36 PM

ok, first of all, the new Nomad battleships were so strong it took two quanum anti-matter hybred bombs. and second of all, if you dont like the captured series, then dont read it, i didnt personally think the last few episodes were all that great, but the captured series is almost done, i dont know how many more episodes there will be.

oh and the answer to your question about the Nomads distroying every planet in Sirius. Dont you get it the nomads want theyre empire back. i have to go now, and i dont know when i can post a new episode. cya

It's only some constructive criticism.

Pretty good story so far! Can't wait for more!

And by the way, shouldn't this be in the spoiler forum?

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Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.


Edited by - RadiologistRebooted on 6/19/2004 9:03:26 PM

im back, next episode in a little while

sry dudes, cant do the next episode today

PLEASE! PLEASE! Please, use a spell checker. I stopped reading after seeing so many spelling errors. Use a word processor & then C&P to get it posted. Also, might want to check grammer as well. If you want people to read what you write then these egregious errors need to be rectified. Another good idea is have someone else read it before posting.

Thnak you.

It is hard to soar with eagles when you fly with turkeys.

I hate it when people criticise other peoples spelling. Did u even stop to think that killas first language may not even be english? Well did u? no i guess u didn't. ur not going to become respected at TLR if u put people down SpaceEagle







Edited by - Gowserpaul on 7/16/2004 2:38:22 AM

His spelling doesn't matter as long as the story's good, which it is, mind you. Nomads coming back in full force and quickly tearing up the Sirius system is quite probable. killa, keep writing =D

"Echo Zulu Ops requesting Bouncy Bears Strike."
"Roger EZO, BB Carpet Bombers Inbound. Stay Tight and Let 'Em Hang, Boys."

i dont have much time, but my first launguage was Japiniese. I was born in Kyoto, Japan on March 14th 1990. So plz excuse my grammar and spelling.



" Its not a question of if i will conquer the human race, its just a question of when."

no problem killa i just really hate it when people are that insulting towards other people

wow. this ol' thing is awakened?

"Go Neuromancer!!! Keep righting that fiction man!!!"