very good storys i hope your not offended but its a tiny bit tirng having the nomads decloak all the time in full force but other the that the torys ar really good and i look forward to reading more

think it through

Captured Pt. 11: Battle for Buffalo

The Nomad fleet was heading right for them, and it didnt look like there was any escape, as the Nomads came out of hyper drive, the radar screen on the Rienland beeped wildely. "Everyone stay close, and do a full system shutdown on your ships. If your not shut down in ten seconds, I'm firing the EMP." Enrique said over the radio. Just as the Rienland shut down, the EMP was fired. There was a blue/green light that came out of Enrique's ship, this was when Trent noticed a small object shaped like half of a sphere on the top of Enrique's ship. So that must be where the EMP came out of. I hope this works. " Now everyone, turn your ship's power back on and follow me." Enrique said. As all of the ships came back on line, Trent noticed that the blue glow of the Nomad ships had turned to an orange color. Enrique had everyone go into formation around his ship, and sped off with the other ships close behind." I temporally dissabled the Nomad ships with an EMP, now into the badlands. The electrical anomolys will shield us from their scanners. Im getting a faint signal on the radar, like a base of some sort." Enrique yelled over the radio."And untill we get deep into the badlands, keep radio transmissions to a minimum." Some sort of base, the only base in the badlands is Ithica research station, and it was destroyed by Liberty Rouges. Wait a minute, Buffalo! Trent thought. As Buffalo base came in visual range, a transmission came over the radio."Are you human?" there was a pause. Enrique picked up the micorphone, and said into the radio "Yes, were human, we need immedate clearance to land." The man over the radio said," You are cleared to land, but I will warn you, we have guards with guns waiting for you on the deck. If you make any movement that seems 'hostile', they will shoot you." Enrique had everyone land and they saw what the man on the radio had ment. There were at least one hundred guards with rifels, shotguns, and missle launchers, and they were pointing their guns right at them. Juni put her hands up and said "We need to talk with whoever is in charge here." "That would be me." a voice said. Everyone turned to look, and there was a man wearing a Liberty Rouge uniform with a long scar across his face. Then Juni noticed somthing shocking, the man looked alot like Trent. Trent was looking at him strangely, and wondering. "Who are you?" Trent finally said to the man. He had black hair, just like his, a long black tattoo on his face that resembled a dragon, the irius in his eyes were red, but there was no mistake, he looked exactly like Trent. The man turned to the guards, and said "Push them out the airlock." Everyone was stunned. They didnt even know this man, and he was ordering them killed, guards moved twords them and pulled their guns out. All of the sudden, they ran up to Enrique and threw him in to the airlock chamber. The interrior door closed and everyone could hear the exterrior door open. Trent could see out one of the windows, Enrique's body floated out in space, and slamed into a large asteroid. Now the guards were moving twords them, and rushed up and grabed Juni, the interrior door of the airlock opened and they threw Juni in. No, not King and her both, no, I cant let them do this. Trent pulled out his gun, and fired on the guards, and everyone elce did the same. Trent shot and killed the guard who was controling the airlock doors, and rushed over to the controle pannel. He hit the button and the interrior door opened, and Juni came falling out. She was still breathing, but barely. The man who resembled Trent walked up to her and shot her in the stomach, "NO!!" Trent ran up and tackeled the man, and began punching him in the face. He kept screaming, "I wont let you kill her. I wont let you kill her. I wont let you kill her." The man seemed to be unconsious, and Trent rushed over to Juni, she was still breathing. The rest of the men had cleared the docking bay, and there were dead bodies lieng everywhere. Most of the floor was covered in blood, and Juni was getting in very bad shape. More guards had rushed into the docking bay and opened fire on the ragtag crew. Whitin 30 seconds all of the guards were dead, and Trent could see 12 more of his crew lieng on the floor, dead. A man walked by and Trent asked him how many of their men had been killed. "Well, out of 150, we lost 76." Trent pointed to Juni and asked him if she would be Ok. "Mabye, she doesn't look so good, but she might pull through." Trent was releived, but then he had remembered all of the losses he had suffered through scince this all began.First, all of those people on Freeport 7, next, Walker. Then King, and Ozu and Von Claussen, Enrique. When will all of this death and distruction stop? The man who looked to be his evil clone walked up to Trent with a gun in his hand. He pointed it at Trents head and said "Goodbye, my brother." He was about to pull the trigger when a man from Trent's crew tackeled the man. A laser shot out of the gun and struck Trent in the heart. He could see the evil man and his crew member fighting it out. The evil man picked up his gun and shot the man in the head. He went down, and was dead before he hit the ground. The last thing Trent could remember was seeing the fallen man's name tag. Casper Orillion.

End of Captured Pt. 11
next episode comming soon





Edited by - killa on 7/19/2004 9:25:02 AM

Edited by - killa on 7/20/2004 10:00:48 AM

Edited by - killa on 7/20/2004 11:06:13 AM

DO NOT POST THAT SORT OF MALICOUSLY ANNOYING LINK AGAIN!!!

Duping innocent forum goers into that kind of thing is NOT tolerated.

Edited by - Chips on 7/19/2004 4:58:42 PM

To GOUSERPALL: If I was being critical there is much more that could have been posted than requesting that spelling be checked. If you will READ what was said rather than JUST LOOK at it you will see that is was a request TO IMPROVE HIS WRITING.

As stated I have done quite a bit of editing as well as writing & KNOW how difficult both are. For you to see my request as critical & indicating killa as lazy indicates that you are apparently NOT reading what is being posted.

Furthermore, as he stated English is not his original language which makes this more of a commendation on his progress and should show him a way to improve even more.

It is hard to soar with eagles when you fly with turkeys.

i've had enough of u SpaceEagle lets see what a mod thinks of this shall we, before i end up saying something i'll regret

Edited by - Gowserpaul on 7/19/2004 4:32:41 PM

Everyone should have the good grace to be a little forgiving about each others shortcomings - as i cannot imagine if we pointed yours out that you would be happy

@SpaceEagle , you have made a request, it has been noted by the author, and it is up to him. He has no responsibilities or duties to comply with your suggestions, and it is totally up to himself. If you don't like that, then don't read it!

@Growser , I can sympathise - i hate having people moaning about Grammer and spelling all the time, and i certainly wouldn't want to be discouraged by people who posted at me in my second language about how bad it was either! BUT I think there is no point in dragging an issue through the thread after the creator read and acknowledged it.

@Killa - I have removed the link from your 270+ popup spam crap - do not, i repeat DO NOT do that again. Do NOT think its a joke either.

Now lets keep this thread ON TOPIC (which is this damned file story), and leave any more posts of grieviances or worse behind. If you feel you were taken out of context etc - please don't bother to post explaining about it - leave the thread to do what its supposed to do!

Let the stories continue!

Chips

now now now, calm down lads, take a deep breath and let it off...
done with that??

OK, first, Killa I haven't read the whole thing, but I did read parts, and I must say quite the story you have there, keep it up, I think it will work out just fine

OK, please, this is a fan based board, this board is reachable throughout this globe so naturally there are some people whos skills in the english language isn't the same level as a thoroughbred native speaker, OK this was explained before.
now thats settled, OK I don't want to choose any sides on this so who started I will leave in the middle, OK??

anyway, I hope you two will lay of with hostilities and keep the thread clean from here, then no mod will have to intervene

<Edit>: First off, Sorry Chips, didn't see your post. Second, I think all there is to be said about this, has been said, sorry again Chips, I was asked by GP to have a look into this and hoped to put it in before a mod should come in between, or worse, that the thread would be lost forever because it had to be locked,
anyway, didn't want to stick my nose up our affairs, I hope its settle with this.

Edited by - Locutus on 7/19/2004 5:24:03 PM

ok thanks for all of that, but can i get some feedback on my story?

I have started construction of a new website. It won't be nearly as good as this one, but I am tring to make a fairly decient one. here is a link to my new site. Mabye you could give me some feedback and suggestions. I do have the Contact me fourm ready to go. Just incase that link doesnt work, the web adress is freewebs.com/freelancerstorm

mabye I will put Captured on the new site. Hope to see ya there

Its not a question of if I will conquer all of the universe, its just a question of when.

Edited by - killa on 7/20/2004 7:18:16 PM

Captured Pt 12: Anchorage, Alaska

Beep, beep, beep. This was all Trent could hear, his eyes still closed, and he didnt want to open them. He thought if he did, he would see Orillion's lifeless body laying right next to him, and Juni dead in the corner. "Hey,ey,ey,y,y" said a voice, it sounded so fimilliar, but Trent coudln't place it. Trent opened his eyes long enough to see a white cealing, and Juni's face staring down at him. His eyes closed again, the next thing he could remember was hearing the voice again. "Hey" the voice echoed. His head hurt so badly, the thought he was going to be sick. His eyes opened again to see Juni's face, No, that can't be Juni. She's dead, Orillion's dead, and I'm dead. His eyes closed again, and all he saw was darkness once again. His eyes opened a short time later with Juni standing a few feet above his face, his eyes started to close again, but he felt a sharp pain. Like someone had just slaped him, "Hey! Wake up you!" the voice said. His eyes finally opened and stayed open. " 'Bout time you woke up, we wern't sure you were going to make it." Trent sat up and for the first time, hugged Juni. She was puzzled. "I thought you were dead, I thought that man killed you." The doctor walked in, and did some simple tests. The doctor told Juni that Trent would be fine after a little rest. Trent asked Juni what had happened. "Don't ask me, the last thing I remember was being thrown into the airlock and having all of the oxygen sucked out. Then I fell to the floor and thats the last thing I remember." The doctor told Trent that he had been shot, and had half of his heart blown away. "It was a mirical that you survived long enough to get to the ER." Trent asked how long he was out. Juni cut the doctor off and told him that it was almost three days. Trent finally got up the courage to ask about Orillion, and the man who looked to be Trent's evil clone. Juni went to tears, and wept. "Orillion is gone. He was shot in the head by that man, died before he hit the ground. At least he didn't suffer." Trent asked again about the man. Juni explained that one of his captured servants told them that he was infected with a Nomad. But he was indeed Trent's brother." A man from the Rienland walked in." Mr. Trent, I'm sorry, but I had to kill him. It was the only way to protect everyone from him." Trent got up out of the bed and ran out into the cooridor. He ran all the way to the docking bay and climbed aboard the Rienland. Juni came running in after him, followed by the Rienland crew member and the doctor. Juni grabed him and started yelling in his face" What do you think your doing, you dont think you can beat the Nomads and the Dom Kavish alone do you?" Trent, in tears finally came to his scinces and said" Well are you all comming or not?" over the loudspeaker. Within minutes everyone was in their ships, and launching into space. After everyone was outside, Juni said over the radio," OK, the Nomads have put a large shield all the way around Zone 21, but I checked it out earlyer, There is a small ring that would let ships enter, our best bet is to wait for a Nomad ship to enter, then slip through before the the shield comes through. They still have Jumpgate to Alaska intact, and if we use our codes, we might be able to get through." Everyone liked the plan and decided to go through with it. As everyone neared Zone 21, cloaks were turned on. They waited by the Entrance Ring for nearly an hour before a Battleship finally came passing through, and they sliped through. They were now inside Zone 21, with millions of Nomads flying all around them. The Alaska jumpgate came in view, and over the radio Trent asked" Why haven't they distroyed the jumpgate yet? It doesn' make any scince, they distroyed almost everything elce." Juni explained that the Nomads were keeping the jumpgate around as kind of a "suivenear". As everyone flew invisibly to the jumpgate, Juni entered the codes and the gate activated. As hundreds of Nomads noticed the jumpgate comming back on line, Juni said over the radio" You need to deactivate your cloaks to use the jumpgate." As everyone did, Hundreds of Nomads opened fire, and several ships were being distroyed. The Rienland sustained heavy dammage as it went through. Then everything turned to a fimalliar site, the cold green of the nembula, the asteroids, and the bouys. Everyone ploted a course for Prision Station Michell, as they arrived, the hull of the base was all that remained. But out the front window of the Rienland, Trent could see somthing off in the distance, it was the planet he remembered from almost 8 years ago. He picked up the microphone and gave everyone the choordnants, and they all flew twords the unknown planet. As the Rienland came within 12k of it, the scanners suddanly flashed on the monitor, there was no doubt, the words on the moniter were Planet Anchorage, Alaska system Liberty Space. Status: Human Life found...

End of Captured Pt. 12
next episode comming soon



Edited by - killa on 7/20/2004 7:53:15 PM

Keep it Up Killa

Captured Pt. 13: An Old Friend

Planet Anchorage, Alaska system Liberty Space. Status: Human life found. "I was right, reffugies did find this planet." Trent finnaly said. As everyone neared the planet, their hearts sank. They could now see why there were no ships patroling the area around the planet, there was a massive shield surrounding the planet. And there looked to be extremly powerful turrets on the generators, enough power to have their entire ragtag fleet distroyed in thirty seconds. Breaking the silence, a radio transmission came in." Unknown ships, you have been confirmed to not be Nomad or Dom Kavish, are you human?" Trent (the newly appointed pilot of the Rienland, since Orillion had died) picked up the microphone, and said "This is the human craft Rienland, we need immedate clearance to land, we are badly dammaged and several of our crew members are injured." A voice came over the radio "Copy that, several other ships detected in your vinicity, are they friendly?" Again Trent picked up the microphone and gave the man a "10/4". An entrance ring like the one at the Zone 21 shield uncloaked, and cut off the shield in the center of it, making the ships able to get inside. Once everyone was in, the ring turned off and the shield came through, the ring cloaked again. The Rienland and the other ships were cleared to land, and the choords for the base were given. As the ships decinded in the atmosphere, an escort wing came over the mountian range. They all escorted the ships to the landing deck, and turned their guns on the ragtag fleet. "Damn it, not again." Trent said. As they all came out of their ships with their hands in the air, several limping, and some crawling, a man came out and orderd the men to put down their guns. But to Trent, he looked fimmaliar in some way. "Mr. Trent, its been a long time, do you still work for the Order?" Juni couldn't recognize this man, and she heard Trent say "Col. Kress?" Now Juni could remember, the same man who had helped him before, the same handsom face. But now a little dirter. Kress motioned for Trent and Juni to follow him inside the base, and ordered several men to help the wounded. They went to the bar(whitch was mostly empty, exept for the janitor who was just leaving) and Kress began a converstation. "You never answered my question Mr. Trent, are you still the "eyes and ears" of the Order?"
"No, the Order was shutdown after the full Nomad invsion. And almost all of my friends are dead."
"Orillion?" Kress asked consideratly.
"King too, and our new friend Enrique. We almost lost Juni. I found out I had a brother, just for him to shoot me and get killed." A man came running into the room,"Sir, we are under a full attack, Nomads have brought down the shield and our defences are failing." Trent thought they must have tracked us through the jumpgate, and used stardrive to get here. Everyone prepaired for an EVAC of the base. As Trent and Juni were running through the Rienland, a cold blue beam of light shot down from the sky, distroying the Rienland. There was a large explosion, and Juni and Trent were both knocked unconsious.... They awoke about three minutes later by another loud explosion. They got up and realized the Rienland was in a million peices. The ground cracked, and small eruptions began to happen all around them. A large part of the ground split and fell off into what seemed like a bottomless gourge to them, and another web of cracks all around them. Trent and Juni thought for sure they were going to die, but a ship came out of the sky and opended the back door to it's cargo bay. It swooped down and they jumped in just before the entire cliff fell off. The door closed and the ship headed to space. Out the window Juni could see almost one thousand Nomad battleships, many of them attacking the large transports that were trying to escape. It was then Juni realized why the Nomads wern't attacking the ship that had saved their lives. It was cloaked, and heading out of the Alaskan nembula. As the pilot plotted a cource for some base in the edge worlds and hit stardrive, the cockpit doors opened. A very fimmaliar man stepped out of the bridge, Juni ran up and hugged him. There, standing right in front of them, the man who had saved their lives a second time, was Micael King.....

End of Captured Pt. 13
Next episode comming soon

hey killa. i've been reading the story since the beginning, and it's brilliant. Maybe you and neuromancer, and anyone else with fan-fic for freelancer, could release a collection together. Keep it coming!

try either www.freewebs.com/flstories or killa's own www.freewebs.com/freelancerstrom, flstories has excellent stories by numerous artist includin me . freelancerstorm is currently under construction though , hurry up killah