Dear Msszzz Personables,

I would just like to clarify just one aspect of your last statement. Considering the fact that you represent a commercial establishment, the facilities of which Mr Towelclanger pays to enjoy, am I to believe that you have actually charged him for the use of your sand?

If this is the case then the Most High and Reverend Dru-Sans-Undies, Vice President of the Swissdrulandian Trade Federation would like to bestow upon you his highest praise and an open door to employment in any of the companies represented by same federation. It is not everyday, after all, that we come across someone who successfully manages to sell sand to the arabs and gets to keep it.

To: Amanda Personables
From: Esquilax

Subject: Re: Censorship

Greetings Ms. Personables. While we would ordinarily respect your wishes and remove the relevant material from our publication, certain pictures have recently come into our possession. These pictures clearly show a man matching "T-T's" appearance in the aforementioned pose.

The picture in question is dated October 20, 2006 and the gritty quality of the sand in the photograph indicates that this cannot be the "rounded pink coral sand" that your resort purports to possess. Furthermore, I have just been informed that "Mr. Tawakalna" took the liberty of removing a significant amount of sand from his homeland before his departure, and had it shipped to his current location. No doubt this was an attempt to allow him to have a "little touch of home" to take with him on his travels, and also an attempt to reconstruct one of Tawakalnistan's famous sandpits for his pleasure.

Please find the relevant picture attached, and we look forward to receiving further correspondence from you regarding this matter.

Regards,

E.

Attachment: Type/JPG



-------------------------------------------

ID - I would have thought that ridding the world of cloaked and inebriated malcontents could be justified just as much as declaring war on the Esquilax and his peaceful rabbitkin!

Taw - Hey, it's your fault; you started the conflict with Esquilaxitavia through your rabbit poaching just inside our borders. The peaceful rabbitfolk DID try diplomacy if you recall, but our ambassadors into then Tawakalnistan mysteriously vanished, but we heard later on that there was a State dinner featuring primarily of rabbit. Indeed, you have only yourself to blame... and "Tors". Sheesh, when I think about how this thread started with "Tors" managing to get himself "locked out" (whatever that means) and promises of chilled GB, I still have no idea how the hell we ended up in this state of affairs. In any case, Esquilaxistan is still in our paws, and what are you going to do about it? Huh? Beardo?

AELK - That is certainly an ambiguous comment, and one that I am not prepared to interpret at this time. Unless of course, you would care to elaborate...?

To: Mr. "Swiss" Druid
Fm: Amanda Personables, AGM

Our sand is not for sale. Although we believe it has good market value. As for its use value, it is built into the daily hotel charges as one of our amenities, irrespective of actual use.

Yours personably,

AP


To: Mr. Esquilax
Frm: Amanda Personables, AGM

The individual in that photograph is not dressed in the fashion we recognize to be T-T. There is no gritty sand at our facilities. A shipment of it would have been turned back at our docks.

I cannout vouch for the authenticity of your photograph, as to subject but I categorically deny that there is anything other than the most pristine coral sand on our island.

T-T has taken to calling himself Ali Baba and, well, he's rather preoccupied with the sights available to a person whose head is NOT stuck in the sand.

Who the hell introduced this head-in-the-sand thing? *Reads posts* Oh, I see. Damn you and your literal interpretations Indy!

To: Amanda Personables, AGM
From: Esquilax

We have reason to believe that the sand in question has been smuggled into "Ali Baba's" rooms by resort staff hoping for high positions within "New Tawakalnistan". According to my sources, the sand is currently in a two-foot think layer within Ali's guest bedroom, and is used by Ali for recreation.

We will however, no longer publish (after this issue) any more intelligence on this matter, unless the People desire it. Unless sales begin to improve, we will move on to more interesting pastures. Such as the secret communications being sent to Ali Baba from within Esquilaxistan. Probably just a damaged weather balloon...

E.

@Esquilax:

Re, your picture of a man, allegedly one Mr Tawakalna, with head firmly imbeded in sandy surface.

As you are well aware by now my corporation has been employed on several occassions in the past to perform covert operatons, surveilance and, shall we say, general problem solving, for governments and multinational corporations alike. We are skilled in all areas of espionage one of which is identifying our target. There is a large database of refrence material and up to date equipment available to my team.

After examining the pictures supplied by your government and cross refrencing them against the ass cheeks of Mr Taw on our files we can confirm that there are too many differences in curvature and texture for this to be the man you claim. Further more we have in fact uncovered that true identity of this doppleganger is not of a man at all but rather that of a butch female infiltrator who our agents know only as "Big A".

was the Esquilurx calling me a lard@ss there? clearly he's never witnessed my lithe lissomeness granted by the miracle of the "Mullakins" Diet, as successfully used by thousands of hijabis across the Middle-East; now available in the West at selected retail outlets (distributed by Indycorp Retail Division) (licenced in the Rep of Ireland by Swissdru Industries Ltd)

(weight loss not guaranteed. Do not use if pregnant, diabetic, or of a semi-lapinary disposition)

Well Tors, I am persuaded by your cunning argument. Indeed, I will accept your explanation, and disregard all of your interactions "Mr. Tawakalna" and his current allies. Firstly, I will disregard your trafficking with "Ali Baba" in person, in his suite in a certain resort that is now affectionately referred to as "Mullahbad". Furthermore, I will also disregard the copies of your company credit card bills that indicate a lengthy stay at the aforementiond resort, as well as your affiliation with IndyCorp (USA). Yep, completely unbiased information there!

I also note with interest your possession of "espionage data" concerning the curvature and features of the ex-Mullah's posterior. A rather unusual area of espionage, wouldn't you agree? Indeed, if that is a sample of the information that your organisation acquires, then it is no wonder that your share price is still "down in the doldrums" as they say

Taw - I never suggested that anyone is or is not well-rounded. That would be beneath me! *Snorffles and hops off*

Edited by - esquilax on 10/25/2006 10:30:02 PM

Well now Mr Wabbit, that all sounds very much like you are readying yourself to offer me some sort of an olive branch, perhaps you are looking to employ my team to perform some underground surveilance for the Esquilaxativian government? Indeed we do get to know our target "from top to bottom" and for a small fee (small relative to the budget of a large and wealthy country) our time could be dedicated to finding out more for you about "Mizz Big A" and her involvement with the dreaded and covert group the Head-In-Sand-Burrying, Underground Ladies Lethal Assault Harem .

As for the goings on between my self and Ali Baba, I believe that the concierge made an administrative error that particular eve. It was actually Alli Baah-Baah the black sheep of the family whos company I enjoyed but since this information was even more damning at the time I was willing to allow the error stand.


Edited by - Tors Denneti on 10/26/2006 1:52:34 AM

Bah! I have no need of your services, especially as I have my own teams. Don't you remember ENIS?

This is why noone likes wabbits.

Edited by - parabolix on 10/27/2006 6:24:19 PM

V.ENIS? <snorffles islamically>

@Tors

Hisbullah? Shouldn't it be Hissbullah?

@Indy: Nah, they are just a crowd of splitters. *shakes fist at Hissbullah* nearly as bad as the other crowd of deadly women operating in the area, the Hoppity Extreminating Zealot Brigade Of Lethal Lassies & Assasin Housewives.

Anyway, I hope you are not beginning to take the contents of this thread too seriously and confuse any of my acronyms with actual real life groups?

So, made any inroads on getting "snorffles" into the dictionary yet?

Another insightful comment there, thanks Para. It's no wonder that you never truly became a "Rabbit-Hunter" .

Taw - Shut the hell up! You can't "snorffle", 'cause you ain't a chimaera... yet. But when you are exposed to The Formula...