Hey Eskie, I''m huntin'' Wabbitsees!

Mon Sep 24, 2007 2:23 am by Tawakalna

claptrap. typical wascally wabbit propaganda aimed at poisoning the minds of children. Everyone knows that the best way to get kids on your side is to give them an AK-47 and a wadful of qat, stick 'em on a technical and have them shoot up that village of wabbit-lovers that's been defying the will of the People's State for the last few months erm not that we do such things or ever would, Your Honour at the International War Crimes Tribunal, so can we just forget that international arrest warrant you were threatening us with, please?

Anyway, I digress. I must announce the recent demise of Tawakalnistan's last remaining rabbit p.o.w. last Friday. Despite ever-improving conditions, this early infiltrator into the pious and peaceful land of Tawakalnistan met her end peacefully during the night after 9 years of really rather comfortable captivity. We now have a surplus of Al-Tawsqoh Premium Wabbit food. Of course i could sell this on the international market, causing worldwide prices of wabbit food to collapse, undermining the Esquilaxitikitavian agrarian economy, then laugh as the supply runs out and prices rocket back up! If only Tawakalnistan had a stock-market or bourse but I outlawed them when I established a neo-socialist economic paradigm.

ut then again, all foreign financial dealings are handled by my Noo Dworkian proxies, IndyCorp International Financial Services, and my offshore trading partners, Swiss' International Banking Shennagins Unlimited. They don't mind dealing with moolah as long as it's the green printed sort

and that's NOT a picture of me, there's no headwear. Don't believe that wabbit whitewash, he's a white woyal wabscallion!

Edited by - Tawakalna on 9/24/2007 4:34:20 AM

Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:32 am by Esquilax

I didn't say that it was a true-to-life picture, merely an analogy. As for the POW, that's a shame. The short lifespans of rabbits are one of the reasons for Esquilaxitavia's experiments. As for the rest of your post... bah! What ever happened to THE EDGE? Is TawSat-1 down again?

Mon Sep 24, 2007 3:40 am by Tawakalna

sadly we couldn't get enough fuel together to get Tawsat-1 into a decent orbit, and the high-tech guidance made of tin-foil, string, blu-tak, an elastic band, a cotton reel, an old pocket compass and squirrel fur, turned out to be a teensy bitfractious following the stress of lift-off, so the actual orbit is a little unpredicatble, yes. However at least we've got a spy satellite, which is more than you've got, even if it is made of compressed camel dung.

Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:09 am by druid

Compressed camel dung eh? Damn that Mustee is shrewed, not even I thought of selling my own crap...just everyone elses.

Mon Sep 24, 2007 7:47 am by Tawakalna

mostly originating from a now-defunct state factory in Siberia, by any chance

although quite how selling a Lada can possibly be like making love to a beautiful woman I don't know. Ladas are not immediately associated with fine wines and Belgian chocolates.

Mon Sep 24, 2007 8:50 am by druid

Perhaps not but then again, it may be just like them; an aquired taste.

Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:46 am by Tawakalna

brave undercover Tawakalni agents sneak a photo of the Rabbit spouting more nonsense to his underlings (Jaggy)

The Rabbit's ego knows no bounds (no pun intended!) as Ol'Floppity uses the modern technology that he normally eschews to create cloud sculptures of himself, in an attempt to perpetuate the lie about his "divine" nature..

(impressive though - I might adopt that idea for my own purposes!)

Here's how we chased the furry pests out of Noo Tawakalnistan..

..after they turned the original Tawakalnistan into a blighted, devastated, wasteland..

.. and this is what we did with their miserable mixedupmetoesees-riddled bodies (it also prevented the UN War Crimes Tribunal from finding the corpses)

(Who's that handsome fella on the camel, I wonder!)

In researching means of defeating the Rabbit menace, I discovered that other great nations apart from wonderful Tawakalnistan have also suffered at the hands of the long-eared interlopers! Read [http://members.iinet.net.au/~frances1/Greatwall1.htmhow the Chinese Empire resolved it's rabbit problem after the province of Hooflungdung was devastated by these voracious vermin in the 13th Century! Proof here!

pah, with the powers of the interweb, who needs Tawsat-1 anyway? Last I heard it was going to crash somewhere in South America, I think. It was meant to crash into Melbourne but due to the limitations of the guidance system (ref. above) because of Western embargoes on high-tech exports to Tawakalnistan, South America was as close as I could get.

Edited by - Tawakalna on 9/24/2007 10:51:24 AM

Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:17 pm by Esquilax

If I were still deified, it would be a miracle, but these days... *Sigh* And when have I ever opposed technology? I love technology! As for that illumination, the rabbits were either a) non-combatants or b) were regrouping into an attack posture. As for the third image, that is clearly Tawaklnist propaganda, because everyone knows that Tawakalnistan doesn't have an water sources of that size due to the searing heat. And the rest? Bah! The Formula will soon render the rabbit immune to your crude biological weapons, and then you'll be in trouble, oh yes. Those noble rabbits WILL be avenged.

Mon Sep 24, 2007 11:22 pm by Tawakalna

That's not water, it's oil. You dumb bunnies can't tell the difference.

Tue Sep 25, 2007 2:48 pm by Esquilax

Oh, of course! Rabbits drinking from an "oil oasis"! What else could they be doing in that picture? Eh? I'm waiting?

Tue Sep 25, 2007 5:36 pm by Indy11

Regurgitating third rate Esquilaxitavian ginger ale.

Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:32 pm by Esquilax

Neh, their postures don't support that conclusion. They are leaning forward, and there is no indication of abdominal convulsion.

Wed Sep 26, 2007 6:18 am by J Dawg

Esky, you do indeed oppose technology! You're still planning on having Typhon run your evil empire until the apocalypse.... how are you ever going to develop your 'formula' folding proteins with your un-opposeable paws rather than with a computer...?

Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:47 am by Tawakalna

hear hear, you tell 'im, JD!

Thu Sep 27, 2007 2:51 am by Esquilax

So your contention is that I oppose technology because I use an old, yet full-functional machine? That doesn't even make sense; why would I use a computer at all? After all, Esquilaxitavia was an agrarian society before I turned it toward technolligee.

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