Hey Eskie, I''m huntin'' Wabbitsees!

Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:39 am by The Ninja

In an official statement from the Jaskatorian Government during a press conference on the spiritual war between it's neighbour Esquilaxitavia and Tawakalnistana, the foriegn minister of Jaskatoria made the following comments:

"It has been made clear to me that certain statements have been taken out of context in the stance of Jaskatoria in this holy war. The Jaskatorian Government would like to announce the following:

-:- Due to Swissdruland's trade embargo on cheap russian automobiles and Irish Whiskey, Jaskatoria refuses to trade any of Jaskatoria's Petroleum supplies, as well as all of Jaskatoria's fine Tobacco shipments, and all the overpriced good which are being resold to make profit, to the nation of Swissdruland.

-:- The alliance between Jaskatoria and Esquilaxitavia was one of treaties, not of spiritual connection. The constant use of Jaskatorian soil by Tawakalnistani and Swissdrulandian commandos has risen to an unacceptable level lately, hence why the Jaskatorian Government decided to act on the Melbourne treaty.

-:- Jaskatoria is looking to settle any disputes between the warring nations using a peaceful measures, but is willing to defend the Jaskatorian Nation and it's people if the need arises.

We would like to also state that in no way, is Jaskatoria a convert of the Rabbit-God's religion, only an ally in the conflict, an would wish to to stay out of any 'holy' part of this war."

This has been Brendan Wheeler, for Jaskatoria National News, Exsclusive to UHF Channel 28. Channel 28, where low class European erotica is shown to small children.

-:-
Kill The Revolution

Edited by - jake_langley on 12/4/2005 12:40:57 AM

Sun Dec 04, 2005 2:46 am by Tawakalna

"Tawakalnistan to replace its ageing Toyota pickups with SwissDruiLand-suppled Lada Rivas!"

This will increase the mobility of our brave militias by -300% and increase dead wabbit cargo space by erm exactly the same as it already is. But think of the fuel we'll save by not going anywhere at all!

I'm sure there's something wrong with that deal somewhere but Swiss sed an angel came to him in a dream and he promised me it was a good deal, and Swiss wouldn't rip me off... would he? nah....

Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:48 am by Arania

@esq: Have you still got that bodyguard position open? i'm sure my wide array or ridiculously stupid (or just ridiculously ridiculous) weaponry will lend well to the ailing Esquilatovia (or whatever it's called).

Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:10 am by druid

@Jask: Now don't go trying to confuse the Tawaklanastinians with your falsehoods...

Jaskatoria's fine Tobacco shipments

...Sweet Aftons are a home grown Swissdrulandian product free form the taint of Bynnification. A parcel of our finest weed shall be presented to the Grand Mullet himself after next weeks budget has been announced.

As for the standing of you country, you might want to think about what is best for your people, a nation of self professed gutter dwellers could do well with the assistance of a mighty economy such as ours. What can the flopseys offer? Their stocks of GB are even so depleted they have secretly asked permission of my government to donate the left over ice-cubes from our glasses or burboun in order to satiate the thirst of it's people. Soilent Orange they call it. Sad isn't it!

@Taw: A supply of Russian Pick Up's is en-route, we shall offer a fair trade price for your current fleet of Hilux, I believe that my government has a contact that could move such items on to a needy brother in the battle against Esquilaxztivia, for a fair price of course.

Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:37 pm by Leonhart

wow, did arania just join the rabbit god as an entertainer?? Thou can see thy gods punishment for joining thy false god!

Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:20 pm by Esquilax

Arania - The Rabbit-God himself does not require protection at this time, but I can offer you the coveted position of "Defender of the Faith" if you are interested. Welcome to the fight! Now I have more people on my side than you do evil Mullah!

Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:31 pm by The Ninja

Jaskatoria has recently become prosperous, due to the recent find of rich, affordable petroleum reserves, but Jaskatoria has always had a firm, stable economy, and, fortunately, for now, has a minimal amount of loans.

Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:52 pm by druid

@Jask: I find that difficult to believe considering the levels of that cheap Johnny Walker Red Label consumed in your quaint little plot.

As for your supply of petroleum, we have adapted our military vehicles, including the Tawaklanastanian consignment, to run on fast food grease. A batallion of fast food vans has been despatched to the front line to supply sustinance to our troops with a healthy(ish) ration of quarter pounders and fries while thir vehicles shall be fueled using the left over oils. Sorted, double plus good!

@Esquitlaxative:

Now I have more people on my side than you do evil Mullah!

Quality my flop eared delusional diseased little nose wiggler, not quantity.

Mon Dec 05, 2005 12:56 am by Esquilax

Inebriated Irish Insurgent (III) - How cowardly you have become to insult my loyal followers! You mock them for embracing enlightenment, while you continue to live in the metaphorically dark reaches of the human soul. One day, you too will realise that the "Path of the Rabbit-God" is the only true way of finding inner peace. Ah, I shouldn't be too hard on you. Alcohol is a harsh mistress...

Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:00 am by druid

Peace! Fie on your idiotic rabbit peace. Many moons ago, on the Winter Solstice in the year of the scabby-gnat, one of your emissaries approached my Druidic Temple offering a contract of peace. Needless to say you threat of "Contracting Hare-Peace" was not something we left unpunnished. We made an offering to the Goddess Glenn Close and danced a war-jig around the boiling pot till sunset.

What you fail to understand is that the economic riches of our land has provided us wealth and luxury. We do not need to forrage in dark holes from dus till dawn in search of mouldy carrot ends, instead we can relax in silk robes and float aimlessly in the SwissMist baths pondering the meaning of existance and the nature of the soul. It is only when the people have been released from the bonds of physical strain can they afford the time to examine the reaches of the mind.

Cling onto your false beliefs flopsey, I would too if my reality was as bleak as yours.

Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:54 am by zazie

@ Jask

Jaskatoria has recently become prosperous, due to the recent find of rich, affordable petroleum reserves

shuur ?
Not every hole contains oil. Most of them just reveal a rabbit-bed.
Your claim will not remain unbunnyshed

Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:09 am by Tawakalna

lordy lordy this is hare-razingly bad. would that hare-peace be any association with bigwig, perchance?

Mon Dec 05, 2005 2:25 pm by The Ninja

@zazie:

We shall defend our oil against any invaders, whether they be from the towel-headed one's nation or that strange burrow of rabbit worshipping... things.

This is only an alliance of convinience, Jaskatorians have no love for the Esquilaxatvian peoples, mainly due to thier distrusting nature and abuse of the trust and goodwill that Jaskatorians have provided, however, to prevent the war from destroying the picturesque scenery because of rabbit burrows, is the reason why the Melbourne Treaty was acted upon.

(For those uneducated on Esquilaxatvian/Jaskatorian history, Esquilaxatvian troops occupied key areas within Jaskatoria, before being driven out by Jaskatorian riflemen. Esquilaxatvia surrended when the Jaskatorian war minister threatened to use myxamatosis. The Melbourne Treaty was drafted up and signed by both, well, a paw print was all that was necissary for the Esquilatvian ambassador)

We don't condone the blatant worship of such a ridiculous idol, but rather fight for the equality of all. And from Jaskatorian sources, the unnecissary hatred of GB drinkers is what is driving this conflict. (Internal politics also helped here, Jaskatorian history shows that ancient Jaskatorians could be seen enjoying G

@Swissdruland:
The whisky (so you know what im on about) situation has improved with the economy, with the stocking of large quantities of Justerini & Brooks, as well as crates full of Chivas Regal.

-:-
You can kill the revolutionary, but you can't kill the revolution

Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:55 pm by druid

@Taw: Re; The Wabbit's Contract. My good Mullet, read what I wrote, say it out loud a few times, and pleeze do consider who wrote it. I'm shoore you'll enjoy.

@Jask: AAhh! A matter of convenience. Hummm! Well sir, if you are not alligned to the Esquilazativians through the bonds of moral obligation nor principle would you consider it "convenient" if we were to say, stay a wee while, for vacational purposes of course, in your beautiful land, perhaps somewhere along the ever so wonderful border of Jaskatoria and that dug up sess-pool next door...in exchange for...*pulls back Cloak to reveal Key to Bow Street Distillery*...a life-time supply of Jemmy?

@zazie: Shucks, I never knew you cared so mush! Of course not every hole is a well but over here every rainbow does have a pot of gold at its end.

Mon Dec 05, 2005 4:05 pm by The Ninja

It is an interesting proposition. However, there would have to be another form of 'payment' for this 'vacational use' of Jaskatoria. Something along the lines of any, say, GB you come across, to be funneled to the Jaskatorian people, where it might serve another purpose. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

However, in an official standpoint, any way of trying to bribe the Jaskatorian government is frowned upon. (not discouraged though)

-:-
You can kill the revolutionary, but you can't kill the revolution

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