no Locutus made off with them, and I'd been siphoning funds off for years anyway which is why the miserable stink-hole was so poor (iddin't say that and I'm not writing it and you're not reading it!) but we left the booze and dvd collection behind.

To the leaders of all free nations,

It has come my attention through the Mustantopian Intelligence Agency that the former leader of the PDRNS has become active and is forming a splinter faction of communist sypathisers around him. So far all attempts to kill Tawakalna have failed miserably, each time we are on the brink of success he slips through our fingers which has led us to give him the nickname of the Greasy Trout.

It has become imperitive that this madman be removed from power. Therefore the Mustantopian Senate is offering a free trade agreement with any nation that can supply the body of the Greasy Trout, dead or alive.


From his Imperial Highness
Emperor Mustang I

Edited by - Mustang on 1/8/2004 7:17:07 PM

DIspatch to Emperor Mustang

I have recieved your request and have organized a task force of my best men. They will be arriving in your systems airspace shortly. They are a mix of bounty hunters and my special forces. Expect a few scout ships to arrive shortly before the main body.

Grand Emperor Matt the 2nd

END MESSAGE

Letter to Greasy Trout
From Lord Brian the First

If there are any hostile ships leaving the planet , they will be shot down. You have been warned.

Life: No one gets out alive.

esquilax , that's no dam good, half of it's missing looks expensive too - have you got anything cheaper? i need to save money to get booze and DVDs errr manage the Revolutionary funds with care and probity.

I could sell you the plans to the Mustantopian poodle wagen, we made them for $19.95 a pop during the First Utopian War.



Beauty, aint she?

now you see that's more my sort of thing, thousands of poodle-wagens rolling over the Martian planes. i insist on building Tawakalnian poodle-wagens! in brick red for camouflage, natch!

buy? pah! we'll just steal the plans like we stael everything else. besides we have a lot of experience with tractors.

Edited by - Tawakalna on 1/9/2004 5:36:02 AM

Fighting in the Mustantopian Navy isn't just about war boys!



Seduce your local recruiting officer soon!

Edited by - Mustang on 1/9/2004 4:17:05 AM

No you're NOT taking Locutus off me so easily with cheap bribes!



he knows which side his bread is buttered..

Edited by - Tawakalna on 1/9/2004 5:03:36 AM

@Esquilax: that's a Clanner Mad Dog, you git taste my BattleTech geek wrath!

**** BREAKING NEWS *****

09/01/2004 16:52 hrs

All units of the Revolutionary Armies of Liberation are ordered to cease combat operations immediately, disarm their weapons and surrender to IFPP forces and officials, or Mustantopian military units, or any allies of the above - WITHOUT DELAY.

Comrade Tawakalna, realising the error of his ways, will surrender himself and his military units to the mercy of the Allied forces in an magnanimous attempt to spare further bloodshed on all sides, and is prepared to co-operate completely with the Allied forces and the Government of the IFPP, and accepts he must account for his actions during his administration.

This is not a defeat, rather Comrade Tawakalna (me) has been told to cease hostilities at once by Auntie Jean or he will be kicked out of the Tingha & Tucker Club and not get to sing the song. Comrade Tawakalna accepts that when he was 4 he signed an agreement to be good and kind and say his prayers, and he hasn't kept this agreement at all ever, and Auntie Jean is very very cross

facsimile of original document:-



Comrade Tawakalna accepts that he will no doubt stand trial for his actions and face the judgement of his own people and the international community. The leaders of the various factions must now decide what action to take and who shalll have custody of Comrade Tawakalna pending further action. Comrade tawakalna will divulge all wepons caches, illicit projects, secret funding, and hidden supplies of fine wines and DvDs. He will also personally surrender to the leader of the IFPP, former Comrade Indy.

This surrender is made unconditionally but it is hoped that existing international coventions on the treatment of POWs are upheld and that Comrade Tawakalna will be allowed his Tingha & Tucker Show DvDs and a personal visit from Auntie Jean (whos about 800 years old now) He also wishes to point out to Auntie Jean that he's very very sorry he's been naughty and won't take over countries. start wars, shoot prisoners, steal funds and resources from his own people, degarde the economy, spread propaganda, purge the Armed Forces, engage in secret weapons programmes, say nasty things about people, or go to bed without saying his prayers ever again!

communiqué issued by Tawakalna, time and dated as above.

Rejoice: the Dystopian war is over!

(sorry Loc but Auntie Jean says we have to be good & kind from now on)



Edited by - Tawakalna on 1/9/2004 9:58:54 AM

*INN special report*

"tragedy struck our aerial news team earlier today as one of a squadron of roving news choppers was brought down over Doom's Landing, the newly zoned outlands bordering on Indovia. The attack seemed totally unprovoked and unplanned until the chopper hit the ground and was swarmed by masses of mutated and unhealthy looking nomads. The burning remains of the vehicle was systematically dismantled in a matter of minutes, and the survivors of the wreck were executed in a most gruesome manner.

Possibly the most disturbing aspect of the event was when the suspected leader of the mutant mob appeared. previously the inhabitants of the outlands were thought to be only loose bands of marauding yokels, however the numbers shown on the footage caught by the surviving members of the squadron suggest that this is not the case. It seems this new figure of repulsive visage is a leader of sorts as all activity ceased the moment he arrived. The footage shows as the crazed, snagletoothed, mongoloid strode confidently towards the remaining wreckage and calmly tore the standard issue minigun off of our news chopper. What happened next can only be speculated as the remaining members of the squadron were all shot down moments later. The names of the slain pilots and news crews have not been released.

in other news the popular music group "Lambo and the Dociles" has released a new album entightled "The Myth of Oppression" it's a subtle new sound........"

Attention All
It has come to the attention of the ruling dynasty of the Coalition of Unaligned Territories that several exploration vessels of unknown origin/s have recently penetrated our space and removed several holy artifacts/vodka bottles without permission,be advised any and all further vessels entering our space will be turned back unless they have official permission from the ruling dynasty or the ministry of the exterior.Vessels attempting to force their way will be captured and decommissioned.If any country/s choose/s to escalate this further, appropriate measures will be taken.

To apply for access to our space please contact the ministry of commerce and exploration.

P.S. We sympathise with Lord Taw, but are unable to provide direct millitary aid at this time, if you wish to discuss this further, you must contact our ruling council.

Edited by - Krazy Scout on 1/9/2004 11:01:15 AM

Auntie Jean says we mustn't fight anymore, it's not nice. So i've ordered my forces to lay down their arms and surrender to Indy and Mustang. For me, the war is over.

no doubt there will be a humiliating and demeaning instrument of surrender document for me to sign (when Indy gets home from work and Mustang wakes up) but Auntie Jean says I have to be good and sign it.

Edited by - Tawakalna on 1/9/2004 11:58:06 AM