Important Message

You are browsing the archived Lancers Reactor forums. You cannot register or login.
The content may be outdated and links may not be functional.


To get the latest in Freelancer news, mods, modding and downloads, go to
The-Starport

the freelancer men are from mars woman are from somwhere els

This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 4:20 am

...the bath water soon becomes somthing one would not wash ones self in. Jim is forced to shower the muck off of himself. When he gets out he slips in a little overflow spittle from his gf and smacks the back of his head on the toilet paper holder.

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 4:28 am

Rebounding off the fresh roll of extra soft triple ply quilted TP the back of his head smacks the floor.... bright little globs of greenish-whitish light dance in his eyes as he hears the TP roll fuddafuddafuddafudda and gently bury his face with triple ply quilting........

Edited by - indy11 on 07-11-2003 04:38:00

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 4:42 am

The paper is soft and warm, and jim is soon fast asleep in the puddle of puke

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 4:59 am

Floating in a dark warm place, Jim feels a slap on the face. Light slowly creeps into the slits of his eyes. Slap! again he is hit. Jim groggily makes out Juni's face
and hears her calling him by some wierd name.. Bent? Brent? Kent?. ....

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:12 am

But soon Juni is replaced by Jessica Rabbit. She draws him closer to her. He gazes at her, unable to look away. Attracted by her.....shiny outfit. But then he thinks....

Life: No one gets out alive.

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 9:23 am

oh my god, im 6 months late for work!!...

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 9:32 am

..and jumps up with a start, ready to dash to save any career prospects he may have left, when he realises that he's actually dressed as a nun, and is in a small chapel on the upper floor of the Convent of St. Hypatia's College for Fallen Women, and it's communal shower time. What will Jim do next?

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 9:55 am

...what any red blooded male would do....

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 3:59 pm

His hands rushing about trying to shuck off the coarse woolen habit he is wearing, Jim finally notices the heavy weight of cast iron around his waist and, to his utter disbelief, covering his privates. Finally unclothed, Jim sees that he is wearing a monstrous looking cast iron chastity belt.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Someone knocks at his bed chamber door.......

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 6:53 pm

Jim couldnt watch....the door creaked open and there stood.....

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 7:51 pm

...the Robin Hood felow from "Men in tights" holding a key that presumeably fit the lock on the wretched belt. "You'r not my princess!" He exclaimed! "Or wait... I wasn't that drunk was I?"

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 7:56 pm

Jim didn't remember. He had been drunk too.

"I don't know M'lord" he said, "I just don't know."

Life: No one gets out alive.

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:04 pm

Cautiously that RH fellow steps into the chamber. Dangling the key from its string and twirling it about .

Tiny beads of sweat started to bud on Jim's upper lip. This can't be good, he thought.
His mouth tasted of cotton and suddenly, he felt parched. He tried to say something but he had no voice.

Just then, over RH's right shoulder, Jim sees.....

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:21 pm

... a kitty! There is somthing particularly interesting about this kitty though. It is flying. This is because it has recently been thrown by one of RH's enemies and is a Peruvian death kitty, trained from birth to kill.

RH takes this moment to execute a quick turn toward the door and the animal colides with his hand, happily mauling it beyond recognition and sending the key to poor jim's belt flying toward the tower window...

Post Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:32 pm

The convineantly place hole....

Return to Off Topic