Hey Eskie, I''m huntin'' Wabbitsees!

Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:11 am by AELK

@ The Druid

I had wanted to comment but was not able to write what I had wanted to say to my satisfaction.

I realize now that having done as I had done, it prompted the predictable negative response from the Esquilax character.

And to whom I must now thank because he? it? has given me a chance to make a comment more to your liking.

@Esquilax

For a divine, your efforts to proscribe my comments are rather peevishly mortal in quality, don't you think?

Thank you.

Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:03 am by Tawakalna

he's not divine; he's a blasphemous and self-idolatrous chimaera. And GB is made from whale extract - female whales at that! Also, the female rabbit population have no chance to express themselves or escape their biological condition, they're just breeding machines for the Esquilaxitavian chimaerocracy - what have you got to say about that, Anne?

Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:50 am by druid

@AELK:

Well I must admit AELK, interesting point.

Now, about them wabbits...

@Taw: That true 'bout the whales?

Fri Sep 29, 2006 12:03 pm by Indy11

*Looks at developments ... decides to stay quiet for the moment*

Fri Sep 29, 2006 12:30 pm by Tawakalna

course it's true; even in Moby Dick, Melville has an oblique reference to the spurting and fizzing of whale extract, a greasy opaque sheen, and a fragrant essence. GB's development in the 18th and 19th Century depended on the addition of these then-acceptable whale extracts to give it's distinctive taste and appearance. That traditional cloudiness isn't a result of any "natural fermentation process" as the Hare of Exploitation would have us believe, but the traces of whale extract (hence it's relative expense as compared to mass-produced cheap carbonated GB, and we know which one is the Hare's favourite tipple)

also that's why seasoned GB drinkers, when they open a bottle, cry "thar she blows!" I'd stick to the Kilkenny and Bushmills, if I were you, Swiss. However, being a completely halal Grand Mullah, I don't touch alcohol on principle; but I don't touch GB on different principles.

You see, the rabbit population, being vast, fecund, and intrinsically destructive of it's environment, doesn't care about it's fellow creatures, and benefits from their exploitation. It's not insignificant that the number of whales has declined inversely as the number of rabbits has increased exponentially.

Insurance Fella - what's the current exchange rate for the Tawakalni dinar with the US dollar?

Edited by - Tawakalna on 9/29/2006 2:29:38 PM

Fri Sep 29, 2006 4:30 pm by Indy11

1 Dinar = 0.05 Euros = 0.0635 USD = 0.03385 GBP

Edited by - Indy11 on 9/29/2006 5:31:16 PM

Fri Sep 29, 2006 5:00 pm by H.Q. Victor

Wouldn't that be 100,000 dinars to one Dollar??

Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:04 pm by Esquilax

Whales in GB? Well Taw, you have certainly reached a new level of desperation in your attempts to defame the peaceful land of Esquilaxitavia. It is the region of Tawakalnistan that has substantial imports sourced from whales, due to the many perfumes and colognes filling up the shelves in the many bathrooms of the Royal Pal- Mosque in Tawakalnistan. Besides, do you really believe that the rabbitfolk of Esquilaxitavia would sanction whale-hunting? We are strongly opposed to such practices. In your confusion, no doubt due to inhaling too much "Eau d'Mullah" (1) this morning, perhaps you are thinking of Whale-In-A-Can which is a jointly-produced product from Indycorp (USA) and Tawakalna Industries. Anyway, everyone knows that only the best quality organic ingredients are included in "Esky's Choice" GB, and that it is a vegan-friendly product!

AELK - "Peevishly mortal"? Your pointed riposte has wounded me, I assure you. Actually, I was expecting far more vitriol, and now I'm disappointed. *Sigh* Ah well. As for "proscribing" your post, can you really say that my initial comment was entirely unjustified considering our previous encounters, and considering some of the statements that you have made here on TLR? My point has always been that you have a habit of making gross generalisations about men that are inaccurate when applied to *every male* (although there are undoubtedly some men that are accurately described), and I object when you pass these gross generalisations off as fact. Oh, and your "if the shoe fits don't wear it" response doesn't negate the inaccuracies of some of your comments. Anyway, we can continue to discuss this matter in this thread if you wish, or we could continue to discuss the particulars over email and attempt to reconcile our differences, see if our past (and current) disagreements can be resolved and perhaps even come to appreciate each others' view(s). Think about it.

(1) (Also released under different labels including "Tawakalna Hilfiger", "Acqua di Camel" and "Calvin Kufr" )

Edited by - esquilax on 9/29/2006 11:13:07 PM

Sat Sep 30, 2006 9:47 am by druid

Re: The accusation that GB contains the bodily fluids of Whale; true or not I am willing to swallow it, not literally of course all things considered, after all the suggestion did manage to get the topic back on track, where ever that may be leading.

@Indy: Coward.

Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:58 pm by Tawakalna

only the best quality organic ingredients

last I heard, whales were still organic.

Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:32 pm by Indy11

Shirley I am not the only one who got the Moby Dick innuendo?

@Esqy: I believe that the Tea Towelled one is referring to the ambergris which I have seen reported to be something of a delicacy amongst certain underground rodentia of a certain chimaeresque quality ... such as yourself.

But I had thought you used it to prepare some kind of eau de toilette to suppress the otherwise dank and fetid quality that is your ambience.

<Edit>

@Druid:
You've not been around long enough Mr. Tree Worshipper. The long eared one seems to have a, erm, particularly focused enmity toward Miss AELKy over there. Some er'd say it was personal.... seemingly. So why step in?

Edited by - Indy11 on 9/30/2006 5:38:36 PM

Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:33 pm by Esquilax

Bah! With all of the contaminants currently flowing into the world's oceans, I doubt that anything from the sea can be seen as truly "organic". In any case, in order to utilise products sourced from whales, Esquilaxitavia would need some sort of "whale farm", and such a farm would not be financially sustainable. Of course with backing from IndyCorp (USA), Tawakalnistan could certainly finance such farms, and indeed have already started working on a prototype:

The plot thickens...

Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:15 pm by Tawakalna

you may have forgotten that Tawakalnistan is a land-locked desert country; I just thought I'd remind you. The plot may thicken but your excuses are as thin as wafer-thin sliced carrots..

Sat Sep 30, 2006 7:18 pm by AELK

Mr. Druid insists upon staying on topic. Very well. I shall provide the following, just to make a point to Mr. Proscription:

I received a message today, from someone whom I shall keep nameless to protect her innocence. Much as I hate to deliver the drivel contained in it, I am honour bound to deliver this message as I had promised her.

Most noble Esquilax, revered Rabbit God! I am a humble Tawakalni girl, who like most of my people, loves rabbits, but suffers under the cruel and insane regime of the Mad Mullah.

Internet access is closely monitored in this miserable backward dung-heap of a country, ruined by the depradations of the Mullah and his zealous fanatical cohorts, so I haven't got long, and I'm taking a great risk in writing this open letter to you.

You are right in your observations of the true nature of the Mullah's anti-rabbit jihad. The war is a facade, being undertaken to distract us from the misery of the regime and to boost our dormant and failing economy.

Rabbits were our friends until the insane Mullah returned with his religious nonsense after the fall of the so-called People's Republic, I had many pet rabbits myself, but in a vicious purge, the Mullah's rabbit-police came and took them away to his foul prisons, and we were savagely beaten for having owned them.

Tawakalnistan's economy is almost solely based upon the exploitation of our furry friends, and many a beloved pet has become shoes, a hat, or an unwelcome meal when it couldn't work any longer. The Mullah's so called eco-friendly power-stations are actually powered by huge numbers of rabbits on tread mills attached to dynamos, and when the poor bunnies can't work any longer, they're stripped for their meat and fur and the "waste" thrown into the furnaces to heat the Mullatawgawnee Palace.

There, I said it. It is not a Mosque, it is a Palace. We do not go there to pray, we go there to act has one of his household servants. All of us, especially we girls, must take turns and work at the palace. He makes us shed out garments and wear outlandish costumes *blushes* that cover very little of our flesh. Our burquahs are made of very transparent fishnet and what we wear beneath them, I dare not say for fear of divine damnation *blushes thrice more*.

It is whispered that the Grand Hippotawcryt himself keeps a pet rabbit deep in the bowels of his placa, that he can't bring himself to kill, although he pokes it with sticks every day. The rabbits are forced to breed so that new slaves can be made for these rabbit-gulags - don't beleive a word of the Mullah's propaganda, rabbits are all that's keeping his war machine going (apart from the illegal arms sales and secret luxury food supplies from Noo Dworkia..)

In the past we worshipped the Rabbit-God ourselves, here are some images of happier times before the Mullah when Tawakalnis and Rabbits lived in peace and harmony, Watership down was the best-selling novel in Tawakalnistan, and Ginger Beer flowed freely...

One of the Mullah's first acts was to tear down this statue dedicated to the Rabbit-God, seen here in serene repose while foreign labourers contracted by the Evil Despot Tawakalna prepare to destroy it. No Tawakalni was prepared to commit such a foul act on the symbol of our beloved friend!

Please, with your allies free us from this tyranny! Our young men go off to fight in the Mullah's mad jihad that he knows he can never win, our people starve, forced to eat rabbit-portions that we'd rather throw away than consume, there hasn't been a drop of GB for years, only sherbet or sewer water, and we women have to wear these dreadful itchy burqahs that we can't even see out of... except of course, when on duty inside the Hippotawcryt's den of evil. Help us mighty Rabbit of Equinimity! Cleanse our lands of the foul despotism of Tawakalna, the people will rise up and aid you in freeing your imprisoned brethren!

A Rabbit-Lover from darkest Tawakalnistan.

Edited by - AELK on 10/1/2006 5:29:07 PM

Sat Sep 30, 2006 9:45 pm by Esquilax

Thank you AELK, for providing us all with unequivocal proof from an eye-witness within the despotic nation known as Tawakalnistan. Tales such as these are rare due to censorship and the lack of writing materials and internet access, for it is well known that literacy can lead to the spread of sedition and the communication of anti-Mullah sentiment. It is one thing to read of the atrocities in reports from the Esquilaxitavia's intelligence service, but hearing of the plight of the common people of Tawakalnistan and my rabbit brethren first-hand fills me with righteous zeal! This will not stand!

The tale recounted above has reaffirmed the desire of the Esquilaxitavian people to continue fighting the evil Mullah, not only in order to protect ourselves from Tawakalnistan's depredations and free our brethren held captive and forced to work as slaves in the desert, but to bring hope to the oppressed masses of Tawakalnistan who cry out for freedom! As we speak, Esquilaxitavia's (unsanctioned) Mujahideen are preparing for a foray deep into Tawakalnistan in order to spread the word of the Rabbit-God, smuggle ginger beer to a number of secret distribution centres, and ensure that the people know that they are not alone in their struggle against the rabbit-hating Mullah and his fanatical cohorts!

Taw - Bah! I'm sure that Indycorp (USA) provides you with all the water you need for your R&D division. As for your "land-locked desert" defence, your underground laboratories are no doubt well-hydrated even if the surface of Tawakalnistan is not. Burrowing underground like a common rabbit... no wonder it has taken Esquilaxitavia's intelligence network so long to discover where those funds were going.

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