lol! these this are so bloody funny laffin meself to death no more no more


from the book of bush
"Is our children learning?"-Bush

Bush before the "election":
"I trust the people."
Bush after the "election":
"People can't be trusted."

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."— Bush Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004

"They've seen me make decisions, they've seen me under trying times, they've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, they've seen me hug. And they know who I am, and I believe they're comfortable with the fact that they know I'm not going to shift principles or shift positions based upon polls and focus groups." — Bush Interview with USA Today, Aug. 27, 2004


The files of Bush, and others
"I didn't join the International Criminal Court because I don't want to put our troops in the hands of prosecutors from other nations. Look, if somebody has done some wrong in our military, we'll take care of it. We got plenty of capability of dealing with justice."—Niceville, Fla., Aug. 10, 2004

"So community colleges are accessible, they're available, they're affordable, and their curriculums don't get stuck. In other words, if there's a need for a certain kind of worker, I presume your curriculums evolved over time."—Niceville, Fla., Aug. 10, 2004

"Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally sanctioned them. In other words, there's no sanctions—you can't—we're out of sanctions."—Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004

"Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a—you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And, therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 (Thanks to Alicia Butler.)

"I mean, if you've ever been a governor of a state, you understand the vast potential of broadband technology, you understand how hard it is to make sure that physics, for example, is taught in every classroom in the state. It's difficult to do. It's, like, cost-prohibitive."—Washington, D.C., June 24, 2004 (Thanks to Michael Shively.)

The June 17th quote going around about Bush saying feces instead of fetus is false.

"I believe if you want to be negative you always can, no matter how hard you try."—Internationally televised News Event, June 15, 2004

"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."—May 27, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."—May 25, 2004

"In the last 32 months, history has placed great demands on our country, and events have come quickly." —Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004

"Well, I think we need to work with governments and institutions and NGOs to encourage the institutions of a free society," Bush said. "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office—I love to bring people into the Oval Office—right around the corner from here, and say, this is where I [have an office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." —The Washington Post, "Rocking the Vote in the Middle East," Feb. 20, 2004

"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than—I say more Muslims—a lot of Muslims have died—I don't know the exact count—at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

"In an economic recession, I'd rather that in order to get out of this recession, that the people be spending their money, not the government trying to figure out how to spend the people's money."—Tampa, Fla., Feb. 16, 2004

"King Abdullah of Jordan, the King of Morocco, I mean, there's a series of places—Qatar, Oman—I mean, places that are developing—Bahrain—they're all developing the habits of free societies."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."—Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004

"My views are one that speaks to freedom."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

"I love to bring people into the oval office...and say, this is where I office."—Jan. 29, 2004

"In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences."

"There is no such thing necessarily in a dictatorial regime of iron-clad absolutely solid evidence. The evidence I had was the best possible evidence that he had a weapon."

"The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been—some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started—but nevertheless, it happened as we showed up here. The attacks on our country affected our economy. Corporate scandals affected the confidence of people and therefore affected the economy. My decision on Iraq, this kind of march to war, affected the economy."—Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004

"I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons."—To Argentine President Nestor Kirchner, on being told that all but one of the Argentine delegates to a summit meeting were imprisoned during the military dictatorship, Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 13, 2004

"[The illiteracy level of our children are appalling."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter."—Advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004

"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor—the president—governor—president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him—get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq—and at that same—right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States—a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004

"I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 14, 2004

"And if you're interested in the quality of education and you're paying attention to what you hear at Laclede, why don't you volunteer? Why don't you mentor a child how to read?"—St. Louis, Mo., Jan. 5, 2004

"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well."—St. Louis, Jan. 5, 2004

"I want to remind you all that in order to fight and win the war, it requires an expenditure of money that is commiserate with keeping a promise to our troops to make sure that they're well-paid, well-trained, well-equipped."
 
"See, without the tax relief package, there would have been a deficit, but there wouldn't have been the commiserate—not 'commiserate'—the kick to our economy that occurred as a result of the tax relief."

"[The best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data."

"Justice was being delivered to a man who defied that gift from the Almighty to the people of Iraq."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

"[As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say."—Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."—Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

"[Whether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves."—Washington, Oct. 8, 2003

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

"[We've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are."—Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

"Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information—outside the administration."—Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

"[That's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric."—Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

"I'm so pleased to be able to say hello to Bill Scranton. He's one of the  great Pennsylvania political families."—Drexel Hill, Penn., Sept. 15, 2003 

"We had a good Cabinet meeting, talked about a lot of issues. Secretary of State and Defense brought us up to date about our desires to spread freedom and peace around the world."—Washington, D.C., Aug. 1, 2003

"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace."—Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

"My answer is bring them on."—On Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

"You've also got to measure in order to begin to effect change that's just more—when there's more than talk, there's just actual—a paradigm shift."—Washington, D.C., July 1, 2003 

"I'm the master of low expectations."—Aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."—Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003

"I think war is a dangerous place."—Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

"I don't bring God into my life to—to, you know, kind of be a political person."—Interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003

"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will."—Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

"And most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."—Jan. 30, 2003

"I think the American people—I hope the American–I don't think, let me—I hope the American people trust me."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002

We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."—Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again."—Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"And so, in my State of the—my State of the Union—or state—my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation—I asked Americans to give 4,000 years—4,000 hours over the next—the rest of your life—of service to America. That's what I asked—4,000 hours." —Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?"—To Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

"Brie and cheese."—Taunting a reporter who recently spent time on the West Coast, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 23, 2001

''I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right."—Rome, July 22, 2001

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."—GW Bush, Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

"Our nation must come together to unite."—Tampa, Fla., June 4, 2001

"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all."—Remarks to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, Washington, D.C., May 22, 2001

"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be—a literate country and a hopefuller country."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001

"I would have to ask the questioner. I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning. On the other hand, I firmly believe she'll be a fine secretary of labor. And I've got confidence in Linda Chavez. She is a—she'll bring an interesting perspective to the Labor Department."—Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified."—Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001 

"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know—secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time—that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics."—Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001 

"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, oftentimes, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."
Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

"She is a member of a labor union at one point." Announcing his nomination of Linda Chavez as secretary of labor. Austin, Texas, Jan. 2, 2001

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2000

"The great thing about America is everybody should vote."
Austin, Texas, Dec. 8, 2000

"Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work."
60 Minutes II, Dec. 5, 2000

"I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race."
Describing a phone call to Sen. John Breaux. Crawford, Texas, Dec. 2, 2000

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law."
Austin, Texas, Nov. 22, 2000

"They misunderestimated me."
Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

"States should have the right to enact reasonable laws and restrictions particularly to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that otherwise could live."
-Cleveland, June 29, 2000

"Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things.. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people."
-campaigning in Cleveland, July 1, 2000

"The fundamental question is, 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective."
-In Wayne, Mich., as quoted in the New York Times, June 28, 2000

"The only things that I can tell you is that every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty... I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas."
-All Things Considered, NPR, June 16, 2000

"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read- I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do."
-On abortion, Hardball, MSNBC; May 31, 2000

"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."
-On the coming Social Security crisis; Wilton, Conn.; June 9, 2000

BUSH: "First of all, Cinco de Mayo is not the independence day. That's dieciseis de Septiembre, and ..." MATTHEWS: "What's that in English?" BUSH: "Fifteenth of September." (Dieciseis de Septiembre = Sept. 16)
-Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000

"Actually, I...this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about...when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
-ibid

"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."
-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000

"He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be."
-On Rudy Giuliani, The Edge With Paula Zahn, May 18, 2000

"The fact that he relies on facts...says things that are not factual...are going to undermine his campaign."
-New York Times, March 4, 2000

"I think we agree, the past is over."
-On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -Reuters, May 5, 2000

GOV. BUSH: "Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb...I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of...I shouldn't call him my little brother...my brother, Jeb, the great governor of Texas." JIM LEHRER: "Florida." GOV. BUSH: "Florida. The state of the Florida."
-The NewsHour With Jim Lehrer, April 27, 2000

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
-In Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000

"Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads."
-Fund-raising letter from George W. Bush, quoted in the Washington Post, March 24, 2000 (a LETTER!)

"People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I'll give you an example; I don't read what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's your speech, or here's an idea for a speech.' They're changed. Trust me."
-Interview with the New York Times, March 15, 2000

"It's evolutionary, going from governor to president, and this is a significant step, to be able to vote for yourself on the ballot, and I'll be able to do so next fall, I hope."
-Interview with the Associated Press, March 8, 2000

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."
-Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
-New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have...he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
-To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

"I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists."
-ibid

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
-Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"
-Explaining the need for educational accountability in Beaufort, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"We ought to make the pie higher."
-South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

"I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less...I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people."
-ibid

"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
-Nashua, N.H., as quoted in the New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
-Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
-Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
-Speaking during "PERSEVERENCE Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
-Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody
else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."
-The San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."
-Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000

"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will
not stain the house."
-Des Moines Register debate, Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000

"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses."
-At a South Carolina oyster roast, as quoted in the Financial Times, Jan. 14, 2000

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."
-ibid

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
-Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"Gov. Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure."
-ibid

"There needs to be debates, like we're going through. There needs to be town-hall meetings. There needs to be travel. This is a huge country."
-Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999

"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike...I believe we
ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society...And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."
-Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
-Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999

"I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it.. Maybe we did, but I don't remember."
-On discussions of the Vietnam War when he was an undergraduate at Yale, Washington Post, July 27, 1999

"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then."
-From a 1994 interview, as quoted in First Son by Bill Minutaglio

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
-U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

"**** the Jews. They didn't vote for us."—Secretary of State James Baker III, speaking privately (attributed by The New Republic, 3/30/92)

"This is the worst environmental administration in the history of America."—U.S. Representative Peter Deutsch (D-FL)







Edited by - [UTFDSQrn on 10/9/2004 9:57:00 AM