Who is winning the war for control and dominance over the world?

Sir S

To Orillion the First
From Brian the First

Your escorts have arrived, we are on route.

Life: No one gets out alive.

you're not paying enough attention to world news, sS! I'll appraise you of the general run of events (from my perspective)

during the Great Patriotic War of Utopia, the Mustantopian aggressors were driven back by the heroism of the Tawakalnian Revolutionary Armies. Mustang's allies were defeated and incorporated into the Soviet Tawakalnian Union. Breakaway elements in the Kent area, who's loyalty i was never convinced of anyway, were retained as a buffer state and dumping ground for clinical waste. The ranks of the Taw revolution swelled as volunteers came to finish off the Mustantopians for good. Revolutionary zeal swept all before it on the Utopian battlefield.

At this point however the dark power of Fear Factorovia stepped in to save his failing ally. Neverthe less my Revolutionary soldiers were eager to contend with this new more powerful enemy. At this critical juncture however i was betrayed by my Head of Security and was tricked into prematurely fleeing the Motherland much against my will, and am now exiled in a hole in the ground, while the traitor heads a corrupt and decadent regime backed by foreign powers, and the people suffer. The heroic gains of the Utopian war have been lost and a plethora of cr*ppy impoverished little countries now contend where was there was the simple just and all-pervasive rule of Taw.

ff's country turned into a moon and flew off into space, bit like a spin-dizzy.

*sigh* why is it that the idiots always write the history books? Mustantopia was never defeated, but left the barren war torn land of Utopia to be relocated to Mars.

Under the watchful eye of our Imperial Highness from his SkyLab, Project Eden is under full swing: The Terraforming of the Martian Surface!
The Emperor's gallant Air Marshal Big Willie von Klugelmann has released the Bio Bombers and they are currently bombarding the surface with greenhouse gasses to heat the atmosphere. Genetically enhanced super trees and grasses, created by our pot smoking gardners, are covering the surface at an incredible rate, hey far out man.

It is the sole intention of every Mustantopian, straight or stoned of his ass, working aboard the Sky Lab or on the surface, to turn this dusty hole:



Into this beautiful haven for greed and corruption:



What a wonderful place the Emperor wishes to create for his ever grateful Mustantopian citizens. All are in awe of his forsite, intelligence, beauty and immense cod piece.

Edited by - Mustang on 1/8/2004 3:01:36 AM

poor Emperor Mustang. if only he'd chosen another planet to flee too. unfortunately, Mars is already taken!



oh dear. how sad. never mind.

and so Round 2 of the Utopian wars begins.

yay! with our super-technological Beagle battle-carts, we'll totally trash Mars and turn it into a desert....err yeh right something like that anyway.

Space Marshal Locutus! gather together the Army of Liberation! We're off to invade Mars!

To Taw
From Brian the First

I must warn you, as Mustang is my allie, I will have to use the RSS and the RSWP to destroy your ships if they are indeed on there way to destroy Mustang's city.

Life: No one gets out alive.

<MEMORANDUM>
TO: FP
FM: HC - CICOR
Subj: The Taw Hunt

We have completed the breeding of the genetically altered mole to hunt down the craven Tawakalna who is believed to be bunkered down in Locutan territory.

We have created 20,000,000 taw-nosed moles each genetically ingrained with
his scent. If they come upon him, they will leap at him and try to bury one of their four venomous fangs into his flesh to inject him with lethal poison or claw
him and infect him with an incurable flesh eating bacterium.

As you read this missive, all of them have been balloon dropped throughout Locutan landspace.

I enclose a photograph of "Ruby" the mother of all Taw-nosed-moles.


Edited by - Indy11 on 1/8/2004 7:27:34 AM

@RILMS, foolish ally of the doomed Mustang; I/we are not out to destroy his city (particularly)(much)(if we can help it) after where will we stay when we've trashed his army into the Martian dust?

@usurper/traitor/turncoat/former trusted colleague and right hand man who stole my country after I'd done everything for him, the treacherous back-stabber; are these space-moles then? i think you'd better breed some space-bats instead, you're gonna need them.

<COMMUNIQUE>
To: Great Leader Tawakalna
From: Esquilax
Subject: Looking for work...

Great Leader, I can now see the folly of my ways. I was wrong to abandon the Motherland in her hour of need, and I sorely repent my lack of faith. Because of this, I wish to offer my services as the head of the new "People's Ministry of Science and Weapon's Development". I would be willing to resume my previous post, and once again serve the Motherland. I can also offer you a large cache of experimental weapons that I have "liberated" from The Combine.

Your Loyal Servant,

Esquilax er, Esquilaxiov.

Former Spokesman of The Combine.

*Mental note* I hope that he doesn't find out that I am under a death sentence for embezzling funds from The Combine...

Edited by - esquilax on 1/8/2004 4:24:27 PM

welcome back "comrade" you may resume your former role, this time under the careful eye of Marshal Locutus. Your first task is to prepare for me a fleet of sensible spaceships*, area destruction weapons and battle-mechs for my conquest of Mars. I also want a nice boat for sailing on the canals which will be your next task once we get there and defeat the Mustantopians. i also want Mars to be painted with vertical white stripes so it matches my Stoke City top.

all spaceships are to be called Sputnik, Cosmos, Soyuz, Vostok, Voskhod, Salyut, good sensible names like that, but not Mir cos that was cr*p.

What, Tawakalna is out and about, conspiring and hiring? who is the guy staying in my guest palace then? the guy whom I granted asylum to? could it be....that one of them is a CLONE?!! the guest shall be put on house ahem palace arrest (there are no houses in Factorovia, only palaces! we are that rich! )... and my men of shadow will fan out and discover what manner of nefarious plot is this.

I have various body doubles who have been surgically altered to resemble me more closely. this protects me and confounds my enemies, especially the usurper Indy who only managed to catch a cold. my purpose all along has been to establish a power base with a friendly faction and use this as a springboard for a/ restoring the rule of the Party (and me) in the former People's Republic, b/ resuming the Utopian war and dealing a final blow to the Mustantopians, and c/ extending the power of the Party to include all the former territories conquered during the Utopian war and since lost by the misrule of Indy.

Now that the resources have been gathered and i have a military presence once again, the first conquest will be Mars, which I shall then use to bombard Earth with giant balls of belly button fluff (blue) in order to demoralise the population. A giant catapult will be built by enslaved Mustantopian prisoners in order to provide a launch platform for the fluff and also for the return journey to earth. Giant statues of me in heroic poses will be built all over Mars. the Martian surface will be carved in a representation of my features as a permanent reminder to Earhlets as to who controls the heavens <sigh> as the Party is atheistic, i cannot be deified.