Tue Jan 06, 2004 8:02 pm by Indy11
<INN News Flash>
"Ernst Wurmst here, live from the Cubicle of Tawakalna, New North Staffordshire, IFPP, soon to be re-named, er again, as *squints at note card* Indynskidelphia.....
"We are here for a new announcement from the High Commissioner of the Commission to Investigate Corruption in the Old Regime or CICOR as like to say here... and here he is now..."
HC: "People of the IFPP. I have the following announcement to make:
The government of the IFPP has issued a bounty for the head of the nefarious Tawakalna. Before his departure from these lands, he emptied out the accounts of the State Bank. Among his other misdeeds, he has squandered the national commonwealth on all manner of useless... bordering on valueless overpriced things.
"We have recouped some of that thievery by discovering hidden vaults beneeath the Cubicle of Tawakalna in which were found some quantities of precious metals and jewelry. These have been turned over to the State Treasury.
From what has been found, the IFPP now issues a bounty of $1,000,000 for the capture of or the head of Tawakalna.
"I will take one question"
EW: "Sir! Ernst Wurmst, here, INN !"
HC: "Ah. A member of the international press. Yes.... Mr. Wurmst?"
EW: "Does this mean War?"
HC: "I don't know how you mean. We wish to have repatriated the criminal Tawakalna for prosecution or proper burial, which ever comes first. Why would this mean War? I am sorry, but that is all." *walks away from podium*
EW: "Well you heard it here. The High Commissioner has announced a bounty for Tawakalana to be returned to the IFPP, dead or alive. Does this mean War? Many have speculated that those in the host country where the so-called 'Uncle Taw' has gone to in exile will not stand for any attempts to forcibly repatriate the ex-Dictator. But the IFPP government has not publicly acknowledged knowing where Tawanakla currently resides.
"Those in the know here and abroad claim to see storm clouds brewing. We are sure to hear more of this later.... this is Ernst Wurmst, INN flash report live from....er....Indidelphskia"