*Independent News Network Flash Report*

"This is Ernst Wurmst reporting to you live from downtown New North Staffordshire.... This is where the bloodless coup took place. In a surprise to
all concerned, the Dictator Taklawana packed up and disappeared into the night as at what seems to have been the first indication that there may be rebellion in his ranks... Let's get a candid opinion from the average citizen on the street......Excuse me, madame, I'm with the INN news and, yes, you're on the air now, yes. May we ask you a few questions?"

Woman: "Eh? Me? Well, I suppose you might do. What's you're question?"

EW: "What do you remember best from the days when this was the USTR?"

Woman: "UST what? Oh that. You mean the PDRNS sweetie. No one took that
Union thing very seriously. I mean, Mustantopians becomig one of us? What a laugh!"

EW: "Yes well. PDRNS then. What do you remember the best from those days?"

Woman: "You don't have to be so proper you know. You can call it the P'RNS if you'd like. What are we now? Oh yeh, the IFPP. Well. For a start, I didn't feel the need to find a WC so often as now. Every time I say IFPP.... oh dear.. Excuse me" *hustles off to nearest convenience*

EW: "You sir. Excuse me. Ernst Wurmst here of the INN on assignment to get the man on the streets point of view. What do you make of all this?"

Man: "Wot? "

EW: "You know. The change from the PDRNS to the IFPP, the downfall of Takwanalna and all that?"

Man: "Eh? Change? Oh. Yes. Well. In the glorious days of the former USTR which only days earlier had been the PDRNS or as we locals called it, the P-R-.....

EW: "Yes- yes-yes go on...."

Man: "N-S....See the difference? No D... we drop D's in our acronyms in these parts. The train ran on time."

EW: "Ah! So it IS different already is it? The railway system was better managed under the Tankawala regime was it? "

Man: "Eh? No."

EW: "But you just said that the trains ran on time and now they don't."

Man: "Eh? No. I said the train ran on time. That's all."

EW: "And what's the difference then?"

Man: "Oh tha's easy! In the days of the P'RNS ...see what I did with the D? ....we had but the one train and it was any one's guess what time it would arrive. We all used to stand around and say, 'It'll be any time now!' Now days we have two trains and they both run regularly about a half hour late. It's quite an improvement really"

EW: *Stepping in front of camera for full on face shot* "Ernst Wurmst from New North Staffordshire... back to you Beryl"

it's alll lies! craven propaganda! a corrupt regime in it's death-throes!

I'd be there now but it's siesta time..

New North Staffordshire Gazette:

Committee to Create the Commission to Investigate Corruption in the Old Regime Set to Convene.

Dateline: Cubicle of Tawakalna, New North Staffordshire, IFPP

The new government announced its first post-Tawakalnian reform by announcing the creation of a multipartite Committee to constitute a commission to investigate the corruption in the old regime. To date, an ad hoc council of truth seekers, headed by the First Protector himself, has uncovered evidence of a vast scheme to line the Dictator Tawakalna's pockets with the fruits of the tireless toil of Plebians and Patricians alike.

Indinsky 1, the 1st Protector, was overheard to say: "Is this mike on? Good. My friends and fellow truth seekers, today marks an important day. We lower the thick veil of deceit and corruption that was Tawkalnianism and cast the pure light of Indinskypian honesty upon this shabby tale. No doubt we only have begun to uncover the tip of this festering iceberg of villainy and craven but ignorant greed.

"Today alone, we have found 20 tons of SPAM secreted in and about the so-called 'Uncle's' home. Meanwhile, the nation was told to do without this luxury. Already, our new trade commissioners are looking to find a buyer to salvage this disaster. The invoices show that this 'Uncle' paid at 150% above the top price, per can for this .... meat. We fear, unfortnately that at best we will be able to recoup a third of the price to restore to the Federation treasury.

"Also, we now are confronted with over 1,000,000 cheap plastic green fuzzy monkey/frog purses. The invoice for these things would have us believe that the National Treasury paid over $1Bn, that's over a $1,000 per purse for these ... objects.

"These instances and many others have brought us all to the conclusion that a Commission must be formed to continue these inquiries in a more formalized and routinized fashion."

The First Protector continued to list other discoveries that demonstrate that the former Dictator, the reviled "Taw," engaged in pointlessly extravagent and useless acquisitions of anything available at top price that no one else would buy, much less accept as a gift. The look of shock and horror on the faces of the Truth Seekers could not be but undisguised and genuine as this writer, too, was rendered speechless by the degree of buffoonish spending that had been revealed.

This new Commission will have yeoman's work cut out for it.

Edited by - Indy11 on 1/5/2004 7:10:55 PM

Edited by - Indy11 on 1/6/2004 6:47:56 AM

I present to thee the empire of rah,
I am its ultimate leader elected for life by the people. All elections are truly democratic but the term is for life. My country will specialize in the fields of science and military advancements. We will have top quality defensive weapons to protect ourselves from the evil nation of Wizardovia and its all-powerful leader Wizard. We will share our lower level weapons plans but keep our more powerful designs to ourselves for the advancement of world peace.....and we might want to just blow the crap up out of someone some time or another.

Address from his Lordship, Brian the First:

To the leaders of the other countries of TLR, I bid you good day. RILMSLund is a peaceful nation. We are open to trade with any of you and we would like to begin to send ambasadors to your countries as we wish to become strong allies in a united world.

Attached with this address is the basics on my country. Feel free to look over them. We do not wish war, but if it is to come to that, we are more then prepared for you.

We wish you peace.

------------

Common Name: RILMSLund

Offical Name: Confederation of RILMSLund

------------

Currency: 1 Canadian Doller = 1 RILMSLund Doller

------------

Capital: Iverness

Major Cities: New Montreal, Raytorin, Lokeye, Minnner,

Smirk

------------

Type of Government: Parliment

Number of Provences: 3, New Quebec, Nova Canada,

Caelum.

Title of the leader of the Federal Government: Lord

------------

Main exports: Soft and hard wood lumber, computer componets, rocket fuel, natural gas, coal, electricity, corn, iron, gold, copper, fish, water, cars, airplanes.

Main Imports: oranges, nucular items, coconuts, sand.

------------

Royal RILMSLund Air Force (RRAF): 200 transports, 5000 attack jets of diffrent types, 500 bombers of diffrent types.

Flagship fighter: Avro Arrow (revamp).

Royal RILMSLund Army (RRA): 20,0000 troops, 10,000 tanks, 10,000 Mechs, 100,000 fully automated troops (FATs).

Royal RILMSLund Navy (RRN): 300 Destroyers, 100 Carriers, 500 Submariens.

RILMSLund Star Wars Project (RSWP): 50 satalights armed with high densedy lasers. Used for destroying missles, aircraft, and satalights. Can be used for buildings and land troops, but is ill advised.

RILMSLund Tech: Divsion of military devoted to inventing top-secret technologies.

------------

National Sport: Hockey

National Symbol:

National Flower: Black Rose

National Latan Phrase: Novus mos fio noster nostra nostrum (Life will become ours).

National Flag:

------------
RILMSLund Space Assocation (RSP): Shuttle launches to RILMSLund Space Station (RSS) once a month. Currently planning a coloney on the moon.

RSS deals with scientific gathering of Earth and Space. It is alway a way point between Earth and extra orbit clestrial objects.

RSP uses a reusable space shuttle. Utlilizes a fusion reactor to power porpultion.

------------

Life: No one gets out alive.





Edited by - RILMS on 1/5/2004 9:07:30 PM

Bah! What's the deal with all these peaceful nations? Somebody invade someone for christs sake.

None of these whipper snapper nations will never be able to match the great scenes that unfolded on the Utopian battlefields. When the mighty hammer of the Mustantopian Army met the slightly worthy sickle of the PDRNS.

Remind me to instruct one of my Scythian preists to summon a lightning bolt on this Mustantopia one day.

We of RILMSLund prefer to watch, and if we see that the time is right, then we will strike, but not before.

Life: No one gets out alive.

Emporer Freightov VII requests an audience with his lordship brian 1st to discuss a plan to explore space together, so that our two countries may benifit from any discoveries made.

Letter to Emporer Freightov VII

You're welcome to come to RILMSLund to discuss a plan to expolre space together.

Please let me know when you'll be comming so I can roll out the red carpit for you

Yours,

Lord Brian the First.

Life: No one gets out alive.

The former Dear Leader keeps abreast of happenings back home with his spohisticated communications array.

<MEMORANDUM>
To: FP
From: High Commissioner of Commission to Investigate Corruption in the Old Regime (HC-CICOR)
Subject: Findings Update

Your excellency, the Commission has discovered a vast underground storage area directly underneath the cellar of the Cubicle of Taw. Whereas, in the cellar, we found those monkey things and the SPAM and those cane frog items, in the lower chambers, we have discovered some strange crates and racks filled with bottles. These bottles contain either a dark reddish of relatively clear liquid and they have strange labels and markings on them. They seem to be writings in Italian and French and perhaps German as well. Due to the lack of education experienced during the previous regime, we are unable to find persons knowledgable to confirm or correct our speculations. A search for such talent continues, however.

At last count we had cataloged some 110,000 bottles. Shall we dispose of them as we have done with the other items? The Deputy High Commissioner suggests that we put them up for auction with a reasonably high reserve price of, say $1.00 per bottle.

<MEMORANDUM>
To: HC-CICOR
From: FP
Subject: Disposal of Bottles

The samples arrived two days ago. I was unable, however, to complete my personal sampling of them until last night.

It is a top priority that you not allow any of these bottles to be released to the general public. There are certain defects in the liquids contained therein to which we dare not allow our beloved citizenry to be exposed.

Furthermore, in furtherance of our aim to become a responsible member of the community of nations, we dare not allow these bottles to enter into international commerce. No, I, the First Protector alone, shall bear the burdon of responsibly disposing of these items. We cannot dispose of these items en masse as there are negative environmental impact issues that need to be avoided at all costs.

Immediately reseal the vault doors and bring me the keys. Destroy all duplicate keys.

Edited by - Indy11 on 1/6/2004 7:03:58 AM

all nations, the IFPP is unjustly keeping valuables from you, hoarding wealth while ostensibly pretending to participate in the community of nations. the stockpiling of WMDs (weapons of mass drunkeness) contunues apace and in vile secrecy. For your own safety i urge you to re-instate me immediately as Leader, errr, i mean form a coalition to deal with the tyrant Indy and his secret supply of fine wines that once belonged to me, errr, I mean the People...

Letter to Taw
From Lord Brian the First

The people of RILMSLund will only support your return to power if you give the people of RILMSLund a sybstancial contribuaton.

Life: No one gets out alive.