and just exactly HOW do you know about my shrubbery?

Edited by - Tawakalna on 26-12-2003 20:19:06

@Taw, My Lord I have infiltrated the outer defences of Daftopia, (which is my own land actually) and have started a coup d' etat to overthrow the czar Nick(o)less V and the revolution will go smoothly, I will assure

After that Daftopia is all mine... ermmm... yours I mean. And it will only be a province i the glorious Peoples Union of Tawakalnia

Mustantopia is no longer a threat to us. But to be sure I would suggest a double guard on the borders in case that spy of theirs tries to escape.
I have issued orders to take him alive at all costs. and about capital punishments...
I think we really should add torture as a price for treason, how is crucifixion for a start ( no offense to the offended, if you are offended say so and I will edit it)
and I would also like to apply for the post of High Executioner.

With that said, I salute thee my Lord

P.S. for the people with less imagination this post has to be taken with a wee grain of salt, pepper and/or vinegar if possible.



__________________________________________________________
Oh, dear, How sad, Never mind!!-Battery Sergeant Major Williams
Plus the newest addition!!-

@Mustang: Your Imperial Highness, I belive that the reaction of your foes does prove their feebleness, since they are readying their defenses against the foe they do not know yet, not to speak about the direction they will strike from.
I do believe that the dissarray caused by our mighty intelligence still has its power, and the false-alarmer has not been disguised yet.
Yours truly - Zlo, the Self-Appointed Minister of Smoking and Drinking

"Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy"

@ taw...your wife told me, at your reception for the daftonia ambassador

It is better to aim for the stars and hit the tops of the trees than to aim for nothing and hit it dead on.

Fools!

The People's Democratic Republic of North Staffordshire is nothing more than an empty shell of lies controled by an egotistical coward hell bent on enforcing his baseless ideals on an unsuspecting population.

Mustantopia along with her allies from the Independent Republic of Daftonia have made the decision to mobilise thier forces along the borders of the PDRNS. We demand the complete and unconditional surrender of the PDRNS by New Years Eve. If no response is given by this deadline the Allied forces will deem it a clear forsight of the PDRNS intended hostility towards the Allied nations. At an undetermined time our Imperial Highness (ie me!) will give the command to attack with the full power of the Allied military. Along with our conventional weapons will also be the newly developed SPAM missile aka the Wolfy Bomb, designed specifically to fill enemy communications with so many OMG's LOL's and WTF's as to render them useless.

Any attempt to counter attack Mustantopia or the Independent Republic of Daftonia before the deadline will result in a drinking contest between the two nations and led by the Minister of Smoking and Drinking Affairs, who has been known to drink a 300 pound African Gorilla under the table.

Resistance is futile!

All hail Emperor Mustang, may he live forever!!

well then, we'll see about that *presses the red button* and launches 200 cold fusion missiles at mustantopia and daftonia.

It is better to aim for the stars and hit the tops of the trees than to aim for nothing and hit it dead on.

Emperor Mustang, I have spotted a weakness in the defense of the PRNS. They have appearently doubled their guards at your borders and have taken guards away from the Daftonian borders. Their High Executioner, Butch Locutus, has has attempted to overthrow my authority and seize the control over Daftona, but my trusted guards have captured the intruders and they will be executed at sunrise.
Furthermore, my engineers have assembled the mighty Pun. A fearsome weapon wich makes even the bravest men tremble on their feet when nothing more then the its name is mentioned. This powerfull weapon can nullify any attack with just one single blow and we have many Puns at hand, ready to fire.

My forces are ready and spirits are high. I am confident we will be able to defeat this threat and bring the terrible reign of Taw to an end, once and for all.

Edit (I just saw ff's post):

To bad ff aimed for the stars and hit the tops of his own trees

Edit: Damn spelling.

Daft Vader - I am your father.
sS - Noooooooo! I demand a DNA-test.
---------------------------------------------------------------
It's better to chase a rabbit then to catch a hare...

Edited by - Nickless: Episode V on 27-12-2003 01:08:10

Treason! beset by enemies on all sides! we must draw our enemies into the vastness of our nation (approx 1500sq ft) and confound them as we did in the famous "Patriotic War of the Unpaid Gas Bill" when our terror regiments of waves of highly-trained small children and kittens struck fear into the heart of the forces or capitalism.

this means of course I will have to release the kitten from the mouse labour & re-education camp. Still, we have the White Rabbit of Mass Destruction to fall back on. and the stealth bats. and the demolition ants. and the hunter/killer fish, highly trained attack koi that silently defend our territorial waters. and of course our allies, the nomadic rats that live in the skip by the cricket club.

Have no fear! we shall drive out the invaders in the mother-in-law of all battles! They will burn in their puns at the very gates of Wolstanton! Emulate your dear leader, Tawakalna, who once drove away 3 charity collectors and 2 double-glazing salesmen single-handedley!

(wasn't i normal once? how did this bizarre rant start? I don't remember any more..)



Edited by - Tawakalna on 27-12-2003 01:25:59

well, good thing you didnt detect the cloaked ones, they should be landing about now bwahahahaha

<edit> dunno taw, but its fun
<edit2> loc has just informed my daftonia has been neutralized, so ive set the missiles heading for daftonia to hit mustangs kingdom.

It is better to aim for the stars and hit the tops of the trees than to aim for nothing and hit it dead on.



Edited by - freighter fighter on 27-12-2003 01:35:19

Edited by - freighter fighter on 27-12-2003 01:42:00

Nickless V, do you even hear the cries of your starved and tortured people
Tortured by his Royal Hiney's endless rain of puns

I think the only follower you have is that Limp Dachshund that thinks he is finally going to get decent meal. You are overthrown.

*Steps out onto balcony while literally an endless mass of people awaits the words of the brave revolutionary*
"People of Daftonia, do you wish to hear good jokes for a change?? Are you Tired of the endless torture of your overthrown Leader???" *YES* Then Join the peoples Republic for Good Jokes, soft Food, Tasty Beds(), and Good clothing!

My Liege, the secret weapon is yours to command and I... mean We have the Daftonians to command.

__________________________________________________________
Oh, dear, How sad, Never mind!!-Battery Sergeant Major Williams
Plus the newest addition!!-

This act of war will not go unpunnished. We will hunt down and destroy those responsible for those who died in that terrible missile attack. Never again will you be able to sleep, eat and walk around without wondering, "Is this the day I die?"

Torture?! Never before have I been accused of such artocity. All the people of Daftonia and surrounding nations know that I am a respectfull leader. The cheers you receive are only the best of two evils, because the Daftonians know that anyone who stays true to the one and only Leader of Daftonia will be executed. They have no choice.
Fear not my loyal people, I will return and drive the enemy from our homeland. Viva Daftonia!
*And the crowd goes wild*

I will withdraw with the remains (85%) of my loyal followers into the land of Mustantopia to regroup and prepare for liberation. And a good thing that I ordered the distruction of all that would be usefull to the threaturous followers of the PRNS, including the remaining Puns we couldn't take along.

Edited by - Nickless: Episode V on 27-12-2003 03:01:47

Unleash the Secret Joke of Locutus upon our enemies! Burn them in the flames of Dark Humour!

I'll put a leash on that joke of a Locutus.

That's two Puns hitting home. Locutus down and out. Daftonian citizens start to revolt. *Viva Daftonia! Viva Nickless!*

(No offense Loc, but I had these Puns and someone had to be the first )

Edited by - Nickless: Episode V on 27-12-2003 03:05:13

OOC: @Nickless: Its Three strikes you twerp.

Who are you calling a Joke Nickless???, I am sure that Dachshund will stay true as long as its going to get decent meals and his limp fixed, But you on the other hand are on borrowed Time, For I Macbeth.... I mean Locutus, will hunt you down and your puns have no effect on me, for I am British, and the british quality of The Iron Mouth Of No Emotions is a weapon you not have mastered yet
Nor will you ever.


I shall remain Through to my Liege and your socalled country of Daftopia is on Borrowed time. For those masses you heard cheering you are actually the PRNS Commandos, Coming there to hunt you down. your Followers were escorted to safe territories and will return when his Royal Daft Hiney is subjected to his own Puns then they will live free to the laws of the glorious PRNS.



__________________________________________________________
Oh, dear, How sad, Never mind!!-Battery Sergeant Major Williams
Plus the newest addition!!-