Wed Dec 24, 2003 2:25 am by Tawakalna
here's mine.
President for Life Tawakalna runs a repressive Socialist police state called the People's Democratic Republic of North Staffordshire. All citizens are monitored by the Cyber Police Division of the State Security Kommissariat, supervised by the Revered Leader himself. There is no unemployment, and no homelessness. All citizen's are catered for and gainfully employed by People's Co-operatives, or in the People's Army, which defends our borders and spreads the Revolution to our neighbour's in Shropshire, West Midlands, Derbyshire, and Cheshire. Republican Guard units are in the vanguard of the popular struggle and encourage the proletariat to increase their efforts to safeguard the Revolution, under the benevolent guise of "Uncle Taw" All dissent is crushed immediately, and those who would undermine the achievements of the Revolution must face the People's Judiciary Councils and then the mercies of the Special Republican Guard. Prisoners of war are paraded down the triumphal "Festival Way" which is also the scene of the impressive military displays of the People's Army, in front of the stunning minimalist Presidential Palace (designed by the Leader himself,) filling the hearts of loyal citizens with pride as they spontaneously applause the Dear Leader Tawakalna for his wisdom and foresight. Vegetarianism is a crime, low-fat food is forbidden, meat pies are freely distributed, and all citizens must undergo elementary computer skills training, and learn to drive. Laptops are licensed. Escaflowne is shown on television every day, but edited so that Emperor Dornkirk wins. Women are forced to wear burkahs and must walk 5 paces behind men. The former Port Vale site is flattened and a huge statue of the Dear Leader as a young man shaking hands with Sir Stanley Matthews is built in it's place. Workers gather before their shifts to sing the Red Flag, the Internationale, and the theme tune from Fireball XL5.
now I ask you, how could anybody possibly object to any of that?