DUBLIN - Right now Dublin is in chaos. Arranmore base and Battleship Essex have been destroyed, and everything is beyond help. Except for Battleship Hood, where people still race, play cards, get very high and trade cacao with the Nomads. The blue/pink little beings are favourite guests aboard the Hood, people like them so much that they even made "Nomad, you best pal" cuddly toys which are sold at gift shops aboard the derelict battleship. "Wh just can't get enough of them, they're so lovely." a local commented. There are also rumours of at least one suspected rape of a Nomad by a BPA constaple.

HAMBURG - The Hispanian Fleet just won it's last battle in the Hamburg system. At 21:40 the last Rheinland Military forces where defeated in the Battle of Vogtland, where the Rheinland Military and the Rheinland Federal Police witnessed a humiliating loss at the hands of Hispanian forces. This means that the Texas, Bering and Hudson systems are totally isolated from Rheinland. But the tides may turn as it has been reported that about 3million Xenos joined the Rheinland Military at lunchtime. They've also given up Dawson Base to Rheinland.

VALENCIA - Hispanian sources tell us that Nomad activity has heavily decreased during this week. The Hispanian Fleet has worked hard to curb the Nomad activity within Valencia ever since the Malta Jumpgate was finished. Another reason for this sudden decrease can be the Nomads invasion of Dublin, where half of the current Nomad fleet is used. A few Nomad patrols can still be sighted here and there in the system, we recommend every traveller to stick to the military patrols or the jumpgate if they enter the system.

CHUGOKU - Deep Space Engineering has finally finished the construction of the Hokkaido->Chugoku Jumpgate, the Kusari Naval Forces is pouring in troops one after one into the Chugoku system. These troops will unlikely return though, as there is no gate from Chugoku back to Hokkaido. The Blood Dragons seem to have expected this ad in response all the elite fighters from Kyoto have worked together with the best painters found on Kyushu to paint all the rocks of the system to different colours. The thinking behind this is to confuse the arriving Kusari forces into believing that they're high. Then the blood Dragons will come in and laugh there arse of at the confused Naval Forces troops. This will force the pilots to commit suicide, as it is expected within the Kusari society that when one is humiliated then he/she is expected to commit suicide, according to tradition. And the Naval Forces pilots are highly traditional.

MALTA- Today Nomads were seen here, sucking up Cardamine through a cavity on top of their heads like a human would with the ancient drug "cocaine". A jumphole opened and strange scrap ships appeared. They landed on Malta and planted some cocaine seeds, in which plants popped out of the ground to attack the Cardamine grasses, only to be ripped apart by the razor sharp grass. Anyway, some of the dead cocaine plants ended up in a Cardamine processing facilty, and the Outcasts who snorted it blacked out. They were transferred to a hospital, and the confused doctors wondered why their DNA did not have Cardamine in it. Soon they got up and FLEW to the ceiling, broke it with their heads, and flew off to space. They got tenderized by Corsair melee ships. More news to follow.

FLASH--- The new GameDrug game, "Corsair escape pod target practice", was recalled due to a glitch in the game where shooting at a ship before the escape pod ejected caused Nomad cardamine addicts to breakdance, in space, removing some "reality" from the game.


some people say that crime didn't exist before GTA

Edited by - RioteerRNC on 12/22/2005 5:01:37 PM

It worked!
CHUGOKU - Blood Dragons are busy salvaging the abrdoned Raiden mark IIs because just like our pridection,the pilots commited surside.Kusari naval forces is now starting the 'traditions s**ks' operation to teach the pilots not to follow the traditions



Edited by - MM2 on 12/22/2005 7:25:12 PM

NEU BERLIN - Hispanian and Bretonian forces arrived in Neu Berlin this morning, where thay began the bombardment of the planets surface. However, the locals where prepared and launched burning H-fuel and Vodka/Whisky coctails in giant bottles up into the sky, and further into space. There Hispanians and Bretonians suffered large casualties due to the exploding and hazardous alcohol that began to encroach their bodys, and thereafter melt their ships. Looks like Rheinland has got their hands on a new superweapon. More to come...

ALASKA - Today we found out what Liberty was hidding there. 10,000,000 new ships called "The Apocalypse Rider, Doom Bringer, Omega, Zero X, Hyperion Very Heavy Fighter." Each has 1,000 guns and is being sent to kill Rhineland, that is if they did not blow up in the mine field.

NEW YORK - 3,000,000 Lane Hackers attacked planet pittsburg, but crashed into the planet. They are dumb.

AD - Do you want to go to space? Well if you do, go to Bill-Roy space ships, selling new and used space ships at bargen price's.

IMG - Will they attack orbital Spa and Cruise? Tensions have been building between the two groups for unknown reasons. Yesterday an IMG patrol destroyed a O&S freiter.

GAIA - Today a new species was introduced to the planet, destroying 90% of the planets ecosystem. The Gaians are pissed and blame the Government for not doing enough to stop people from landing on the surface.

KUSARI/BRETONIA/RHENLAND - Kusari has openly declared war on both Rheinland AND Bretonia, the reason for the declaration of war on Bretonia was the almost complete extermination of Planet Gaia's ecosystem. Kusari sees itself as the "protector of the nature", this thinking started three months ago when Kusari's environmental minister Fujimoto Yamamara published a book called "Taking sides, protecting our nature". Ever since that environmental issues has dominated the Kusari mind, even those of Kusari pirates. The reason for declaring war on Rheinland... well, everybody had been pissed off by Niemann or his son for a long time now. Rheinland is nothing more but a big pain in the ass for other colonies. Kusari is seeing these two wars as separate.

MALTA - A WMD factory which also was linked to a cardamine plantation exploded this very day on Planet Malta. Sending out a big cloud of cardamine particles into space. These clouds have travelled northwards and created a large cloud in the northwestern sector of the Malta system. Science teams have been dispatched too look into the possible new attribute of the cloud.

THE HISPANIA - The old and broken down Hispania sleeper ship in the Malta system has recently undergone renovations and is now opened as a big museum and observatory, centering around our common origin, the Sol system. It is run by the Hispania Scientific Research Association and will study our solar system more closely. It is easy to calculate out the location of the Sol system thanks to the old but still functioning computer system aboard the sleeper ship, which has the location saved in its memory.

SHETLAND - The reason the IMG's angry at Orbital Spa and Cruise has surfaced today. Orbital Spa and Cruise sent this message, "We want to be very good friends with you." The IMG miss took the meaning of the mesaage, and has declared war.

GAIA - The Shetland has been attacked by 1,000 Gaians, and perth station has benn utterly decimated.

NEW YORK - The reason for the death of the liberty attack fleet has been detirmind. They had a defective auto pilot.

SIGMA 13 - Today the GMG ignited the gas field, H-Fuel is now 1,000 times more expensvive.

SIRIUS - The whole of Sirius has taken a pause to read the newly released Chapter 12 of Starman Omega's famous "A Freelancer Parody". When things will resume to normal is not known.

Strange ships....they are human!

Manhatten-A ship called USS Enterprise-Esuddenly shown up.

NEW LONDON - Nomads attack, both fleets destroyed and thousands dead from only one shot fired

Today, a Nomad invasion force led by an uber-battleship appeared over New London today. Unfortunately all the Armed Forces' battleships were in Manchester, however the Nomads forgot a cardinal rule of being villains: "I will never build machinery that is virtually indestructible except for one small and almost inaccessible weak spot" and someone got the idea to shoot a torpedo down the ship's Ray of Kerblazification. The resulting extremely bright, purple flashes from the explosion gave everyone seizures and caused them to fly into the planet. Luckily though, the Nomad fleet was so paralyzed by laughter that they flew into the planet as well. Although the falling ships didn't kill anyone, the annual meeting for the cult of Auyohng was going on, and they believe that when the end is near, they must set huge fires in the city of New London so the god Auyohng could return. You can guess what happened when they saw a series of purple flashes in the sky followed by a rain of meteors.

Moral of the story: Whoever said Starkillers suck?

Want to get the chapters of A Freelancer Parody before anyone else? Click here for more info.

Do a barrel roll!

Edited by - Starman Omega on 1/5/2006 8:41:18 AM

9998 - 9998 has taken a Liberty Battleship and shoved it down the throats of the Britoinia fleet in Manchester. Britoina is set to invade Liberty.

CORTEZ - Its da WAGHHHHHHHHH, this is what an ilitarate Bounty Hunter scralwed accross the docking ring. The BH uild has begun a war against all pirates.

NEW TOKYO and CRETE: Just for completion, Kusari declared war on Liberty and Hispania, and in response Hispania declared war on Liberty and Bretonia. Now everybody is at war with everybody else. (the way this was going, it was inevitable!)

MANHATTAN: Libertonian Stark Trek nerds have made the USS Enterprise their new god. Even though it does not attempt to communicate, regular pilgrimages are now taking place from across the House.

PLANET MANHATTAN, NEW YORK SYSTEM

In an attempt to improve the overall grammar of Liberty, President Jacobi has banned the phrase "All your base are belong to us." The Kusari ambassador immediately filed a protest and the Shogun has threatened to recall all Kusari diplomatic personnel. No word on the fate of "Someone set up us the bomb."



---"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast."

Someone set up us the bomb!!Someone set up us the bomb!!
Manhattan-Protesters are attacking the white house for the recent ban of all your base belongs to us,now they all shout :Someone set up us the bomb!!