CORTEZ- The entire population of Liberty is now very pissed off. Liberty Rogues destroyed President Jacobi's ship while it was en route to Planet Curacao. Liberty has never seen the Rogues so well-equipped before- they were armed with Cannonball missles and Skyblast cannons. Neither the President's ship nor the escorts stood a chance. Citizens will soon have to be voting again, this time for a new president.

You know its Tuesday when you see underwear stuck to your ceiling

PLANET MALTA-- A sudden drought on Planet Malta has caused the stock market for Cardamine to implode. Already many Outcasts are suffering financially and physically, as the shortage of Cardamine is restricting the amount that an Outcast can own. Many are passing out in space and being destroyed by a patrol of wayward Liberty Defenders (which mysteriuosly appeared some weeks ago in the Omicron systems). The ones who can are flocking to Junkers bases for an extra supply of Cardamine. Unfortunately, all of the bases are under heavy blockade by the Corsairs, who seized their chance to destroy the Outcasts for once and for all. Meanwhile, the Junkers are quite self-sufficient.

"Death to ZugZug!" Oh, and by the way, considering I outrank you, I shouldn't have to listen to you.

BUFFALO - Today a drunken rouge piolet crashed through the bars window, all patrens were lost. This caused the rouges on the station to loot all beer suplies, 200 reported dead. We will keep you uptodate as this story develops.

THE RING STATION, NEW BERLIN

In a freak accident, a Starflier piloted by a bankrupted LSF Agent has destroyed The Ring Station. The Starflier was seen flying at maximum speed before swerving and slamming into the Ring. Two people died, and the population of Rheinland is pissed off as the system's annual shipment of chocolate and beer for the Oktoberfest was located aboard the station when it was destroyed. A very angry and sober Chancellor Niemann has stated that a grand Rheinland invasion force of 3 Valkyres and a Gunboat will invade Liberty. Liberty has responded by placing all of it's battleships in California. We will keep you up to date as the story develops.

MANHATTAN - After being persecuted by Trent and suffering huge losses so he could become friendly with everyone, the Xenos have gone on strike. Here we are live at the scene.

(A large group of Xenos are flying around in their Starfilers with signs like "Xenos have feelings too" and "We demand real ships" )

So, why have you decided to join in this?

Xeno: Trent killed all my friends, and HQ won't give us anything better than these pieces of #@*^$%&^!@#$ they call ships. I hate this job! I HATE EVERYTHING! I CAN'T GO ON!! (Flies into Manhattan)

O_o Oookay...In other news, the freelancer named "Trent" was seen heading to Manhattan about 5 minutes ago.

Want to get the chapters of A Freelancer Parody before anyone else? Click here for more info.

Do a barrel roll!

Edited by - Starman Omega on 12/9/2005 10:13:06 AM

lol lancer rex i get the cosmo lawsuit thing

Manhattan:A black ship was seen sending stange brown gas aroung,we have proof that the gas will make us go crazy due to the madness-high methane amounts and are very violate..(the black ship flew over) (coughs)you cough see...heree LUUULULULULULLULULULULLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUU(went crazy)KABOOM!!!(blows up)

COSMO WINS LAWSUIT! TRENT, KING, JUNI AND LSF BANKROUPED

Manhattan-The new,near bankrupt adwae company COSMO accrused trent,king and juni for deleting their 'hard made' adware without premission,the other reason is they wanted MONEY,yes,MONEY.LSF had to pay $100000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000 for this and countate shows it have to pay for 1000000000 zillion years before they can pay them all up,same as trent,king and juni.

xenos were seen flying in the skies with badly maintained LSF fighters chasing them.Our homeland peace maybe in treat.


Edited by - MM2 on 12/16/2005 3:41:20 AM

Edited by - MM2 on 12/21/2005 9:32:46 PM

RHEINLAND INVADES LIBERTY!

The Grand Rheinland Invasion Force of 3 Valkyres and a Gunboat have captured the Texas system. The Invasion Force was assaulted by 17 squadrons of badly maintained LPI Fighters, which were swatted down like flies. The Liberty Navy blames the loss of Texas on LPI, saying that if they knew anything about the law, they wouldn't have been sued, making no mention of the fact that the entire Liberty Navy was at California during the invasion. Fleet Admiral Ozzel has redeployed his fleet in the New York system, and is optimistic about chances of a successful counter-attack. Meanwhile, Chancellor Niemann has declared a State Of Emergency in Rheinland and has released the stockpiles of beer and chocolate to the Rheinland population for the Oktoberfest, which will prceed as planned. In orbit around Rheinland, the wreckage of The Ring station is beginning to plummet toward New Berlin.

Britonia joins war!
New London-The queen of Britonia agrees to help fend off Reiland at the price of gencoiding any COSMO,libity welcomes this new alley.

PYGAR - In a surprise move the head of the Outcast cartel Dons, Don Miguel Benitez, proposed a union with the Corsairs. The Corsair Circle of Elders has agreed to sign the treaty which incorporates a cease fire treaty, a peace treaty, a mutual protection agreement and the formation of a new state, Hispania. Hispania has laid claims on the systems Omicron Alpha, Omicron Beta, Omicron Theta, Omicron Gamma and the northern Unknown system. The systems have also been renamed. See next article.

HISPANIA - Following the creation of Hispania the new "Ministry of State" have renamed the newly incorporated systems within the state. Omicron Alpha will be renamed Malta, Omicron Beta will from here on be called Badajoz, the loosely administered Omicron Theta system will be dubbed Ceuta, Omicron Gamma will be Crete and the upper Unknown system will be named Valencia. Transportation systems and bases are expected to be built in these new systems. Primarily in Malta and Crete.

HISPANIA/RHEINLAND - Another part of the Pygar Treaty was the declaration of war on Rheinland. According to the strategic war plan "Road to Rheinland", which has undergone revision, the Northern Hispanian Fleet will attack the Sigma-13 system while the Southern fleet will hold of the Hessians and Bundschuh in the Omega systems. With Bretonia building up in the west and the Rheinland Fleet residing in Texas, Rheinland's current situation seems pretty f***ed up.

However, local Neu Berlin populace have reacted on these declarations of war with agressivity. People on the planets Hamburg, Neu Berlin and Stuttgart have taken arms using strong alcohol, dark chocolate and H-fuel filled bottles to fortify themselves with. One of our reporters on Stuttgart was interviewing a local this morning before leaving Rheinland:

Reporter: So, how do you plan to defend yourself with only alcohol and confects?

Local: People outside Rheinland are not used to the raw, strong and superior Rheinland alcohols. A sipp from a Rheinland Nova Bock XXX will knock out any Bretonian and Libertonian guy instantaneously, it will also inflict minor braindamage.

Reporter: What will then be left over for the Oktober Festival?

Local: We have a secret storage somewhere in Rheinland. Our alcohol supply is unlimited.

Reporter: Ok. Good luck on defending the Fatherland. Hope you and your drunk mates survive, or they will rot in hell.

Local: Thanks lad! *empties a vodka bottle and starts to run around on the meadow roaring with a knife in his hand pointed at the sky*

TEXAS - Rheinland troops got reenforced yesterday by local pirates and criminals since they destroyed a previously secret storage facility called Omaha in the Pequena Negra, Texas system. The storage facility was housing Space Jumper Happy Bears produced at the Huntsville prison ship by criminal labour force. After the pirates joined the "Colonial Rheinland Force" the new recruits started to pour laserbolts down on the harmless teddy bears. It's a common rumour that the most hated enemy of the Liberty Rogues are the Space Jumper Happy Bears. It's also used in pirate sport. The sports goal is to shoot the biggest hole in the teddybears forehead with the most craptastic gun in Sirius history at a distance varying from 400-1000meters. Rheinland is estimated to have acquired 20million new recruits due to this sudden event, which really shows the seriously growing crime problem within Liberty.

Edited by - Nederbörd on 12/21/2005 12:40:20 PM

Will Kusari join war?
New Tokyo-Kusari shipbuilders has accounced a new fighter-of-mass-destruction is out,the Raiden mk-II is build exactly like it's top-down shooting game counterpart,with red and bule variations,vulcan cannon,bule ion laser and plasme lock-on lasers,subshots and ion engine.It has huge improvments like:not to de destoryed by one shot,in fact,it's hull is twice as strong as a valkye and it is now replacing the dragons with red varient and drake with blue ones although both varitions are exactly same apart from colour.Freelancers with drake/dragons are recommanded to go bach to new Tokyo for a free replace.

This brings up the question-will Kusari join the war?If it is,with who?????

SIGMA-13 - Yanagi station was today incinerated by the Hispanian Fleet wing north. The Junkers showed medium resistance but were no match for the superior ships and training of the Hispanian forces. However, the GMG gas-miner Naha and the ALG Helgoland station were left untouched as the Hispanians goal was not to "Destroy a cleaning company that had only done good to Sirius.", the Hispanian Fleet moved into the Frankfurt system this morning were they quickly gunned down the incompetent Rheinland federal Police forces. Bundschuh showed light resistance in the beginning but seems to have joined forces with the Hispanian in their goal to rid Rheinland of the corrupt Chancellor Niemann.

OMEGA-11 - Freital base was today beseiged by the Hispanian Fleet southern wing and the battle still continues. The Hessians have sent in reinforcements from Dresden to combat the Hispanians on this new front. If Hispania is lucky then this will not be another costly stalemate.

OMEGA-7 - The first shots rained down on Bautzen Station in Omega-7 this morning by BMM forces. The Bretonian government does not take responisibility for the actions of a "privately owned company" and sees the Conflict between BMM, Dauman and Kruger as a different conflict. Bretonian forces entered the Stuttgart system at hte same time. And the Battle of Konstanz Border Station has ensued.

RHEINLAND - the Rheinland systems Hamburg and Neu Berlin was reinforced today by the Rheinland Military's Colonial Forces. Other systems that await reinforcements are Dresden and Stuttgart. Frankfurt is considered a worthless system to defend, and will therefore not be reinforced.

HISPANIA - A nlink to a new system was discovered today. The jumphole lies in the Malvinas Nebula in the Crete system and leads to a system known as Unknown. It contains two already settled worlds, Primus and Gammu, of which claim to be run by Samura Industries resp. The Order. Hispanian authorities is looking further into Samura's possible involvement within the case. The system has been named Madrid and the planets also renamed. Primus was renamed Leganés and Gammu is called Getafe. Forces from the Hispanian Union Police and the Hispanian Fleet was sent there to safeguard the system protect it's current citizens from the newly discovered Nomad presence. Stay tuned for more information.

KUSARI/HISPANIA - Both the Hispanian and Kusari governments where curious about the citizens of Planet Primus, now Planet Leganés, claim that they belonged to Samura Industries. Shogun Edo of Kusari ensured the Hispanian cartel dons and elders that the Kusari State Police will look into the matter. The Hogosha was also surprised by this new discovery and has cut all current relation with the keiretsu. No Samura official was available for comment.

NOMADS INVADE DUBLIN!!

A few days ago, the Nomads got into a dispute with the Mollys over the supply of Guinness at Arranmore Base and threatened to attack. However they decided to settle this by having the best pilot from each side do a race. But then at the time of the race, the Nomad pilot was told that the race was cancelled because the best Molly pilot had died from crashing into mines. Unfortunately, "The race has been cancelled" is the worst insult imaginable in the Nomad language and the Nomads sent an invasion fleet to take over the system. The Mollys were wiped out from hitting their own mines in an attempt to defend their base, the Battleship Essex was kerblazified from the main gun of a Nomad Uber-Battleship, and basically everything else was simply blown up. In a move strikingly similar to that of the Liberty Navy, the Bretonia Armed Forces have assembled a defense fleet in Manchester.

Want to get the chapters of A Freelancer Parody before anyone else? Click here for more info.

Do a barrel roll!

Edited by - Starman Omega on 12/22/2005 6:25:46 AM