you know we all enjoy your dtory very much and so... to be blunt MORE !!!!!!!!!
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FL,The Return - And so it continues Ch.11! Updated 4/19/05
Read, add and comment on excellent written stories by fans, set within the Freelancer universe
Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:57 am
Thanks guys for your continued support for my fanfic
Unfortunately, i am lacking in any real ideas as to where i am taking this. Whilst it has started out exactly how i want, i can't see any major developments. This i felt is clearly evident in Chapter 4 as i feel it could of been so much better. It lacked a lot of flair and excitement the other chapters have had.
I will however just sit back and wait for the right ideas to come. So have no fear i'll be thinking of the next chapter and how i can make this just get better and better
Unfortunately, i am lacking in any real ideas as to where i am taking this. Whilst it has started out exactly how i want, i can't see any major developments. This i felt is clearly evident in Chapter 4 as i feel it could of been so much better. It lacked a lot of flair and excitement the other chapters have had.
I will however just sit back and wait for the right ideas to come. So have no fear i'll be thinking of the next chapter and how i can make this just get better and better
Wed Sep 15, 2004 7:34 am
It lacked a lot of flair and excitement the other chapters have had.
[yodavoice "Excitement?" Heh. "Flair?" Heh. A fanfic writer craves not these things. [/yodavoice
But seriously...don't worry about making your works action-packed. If they're well written (and they are, relatively speaking) you'll find readers. Heck, I'll bet great authors could make a recipe for white bread intersting.
Edited by - CODENAME on 9/15/2004 8:35:02 AM
Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:08 am
Hey bret i don't know if you are allready working on a new chapter... but why don't you make that strange thing they saw a battleship of the coalition.. or maybe a sleeper ship from more aliens.... or the real hispania and that the hispania in omi alpha is a fake one that the coalittion had send..... maybe these things will give you some insiration.... o wel.. seee ya keep it up..
Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:31 am
Thanks for the idea. Ideas have been floating around dex. I'm not going to disclose anything just yet so i don't spoil the story. I'm finding the only time i can really add more to this is the weekend. However, any ideas, as i said when i did SOS, are greatly appreciated
Update as to what is currently happening with FL - The Return.
I just got Silent Hill 4 today and its not going to leave a lot of room for story writing i'm afraid for at least a week. I do have a week off work at the end of the month and will resume my story once i complete SH4.
Edited by - Bret Bretonian on 9/18/2004 8:53:45 AM
Update as to what is currently happening with FL - The Return.
I just got Silent Hill 4 today and its not going to leave a lot of room for story writing i'm afraid for at least a week. I do have a week off work at the end of the month and will resume my story once i complete SH4.
Edited by - Bret Bretonian on 9/18/2004 8:53:45 AM
Thu Sep 23, 2004 1:35 pm
Hope your still reading this tho dex
Anyway guys, i have completed silent hill 4, and seeing as i have left my little baby story, i have some to restore life in to her once more.
So take out your dusters, brush away the cobwebs, and enjoy chapter 5
Chapter 5 – Flashback
The flight back to Sprague through Bretonia was a safe one.
Omaelia had boarded the Transport with the Alien vessel and ordered an immediate quarantine zone around the ship until they reached their destination of Sprague.
“What do you think it is?” said Von Claussen over the private comms to Trent.
The confusion in Trents voice was clearly apparent.
“I dunno. That writing…Its…”
Trent was cut off by a group communication by Aldershot Station.
“Transport Convoy, this is Aldershot Station, please proceed through the Jump gate, Sprague is aware of your imminent arrival”
“How rude!” said Trent.
The Transport convoy made its way to the Dom Kavash docking ring. It was large enough for the transport to make its descent down to the planet.
Trent, Juni, King, Von Claussen and Parkin followed shortly after, along with the rest of the convoy ships.
Waiting on the landing pad was Ganesh, his two advisors, Orillion, Jacobi and Queen Carina.
Everyone made their way out of their ships and waited for the alien vessel to be pulled out of the transport.
Omaelia, Quintaine and Sinclair had already left the transport and had gathered around the ship with everyone else.
Trent, Juni, King and Von Claussen went to stand with Orillion and Jacobi. Parkin went over to stand by Queen Carina
There was much apprehension on the ground as the alien ship drifted out of the large belly of the transport.
“Well, its erm, doesn’t appear very alien does it” said Jacobi.
The ship appeared to be very crude, made out of materials not common to Sirius.
“Doctor, can you decipher this writing” said Omaelia to Quintaine while pointing at the writing on the side of the ship
anr koanuuu
“No, its like nothing I’ve ever seen” replied Quintaine as he rubbed the palm of his hand over the writing.
As he brushed his over the writing, the cargo hold sprung open startling everyone.
“What about the life sign?” said Trent.
It appeared everyone had forgotten Trent’s scan in awe of the ship.
“Take a look” said Omaelia looking at Trent.
“Be careful” said Juni.
Trent walked slowly over to the cargo hold and peered inside. Pushed up against the back wall was a rectangular object with what appeared to be a raised curved glass pane over the top.
It had gathered a layer of dust.
As Trent went to brush it away, he stopped. His mind had cast back to his first visit on board the Dom Kavash Mothership. His current situation had reminded him of what happened the last time he brushed dust of a container.
“Trent….Trent….Hey Trent!” Shouted Juni as she placed her hand through the cargo hold and on to Trent’s shoulder instantly snapping him out of his daydream.
“Huh, oh sorry” replied Trent. His hand was still hovering inches above the dust covered container.
“Are you ok?” asked Omaelia.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit of deja vue that’s all”
“Well what’s inside” she replied.
Trent placed his hand firmly on the container and slowly brushed away the a small segment of the dust at the top of the container.
His eyes opened wide and he slowly turned round to look at Omaelia and Juni, along with everyone else who had moved their way over to the hold.
“Its human…..”
Edited by - Bret Bretonian on 9/23/2004 2:44:54 PM
Anyway guys, i have completed silent hill 4, and seeing as i have left my little baby story, i have some to restore life in to her once more.
So take out your dusters, brush away the cobwebs, and enjoy chapter 5
Chapter 5 – Flashback
The flight back to Sprague through Bretonia was a safe one.
Omaelia had boarded the Transport with the Alien vessel and ordered an immediate quarantine zone around the ship until they reached their destination of Sprague.
“What do you think it is?” said Von Claussen over the private comms to Trent.
The confusion in Trents voice was clearly apparent.
“I dunno. That writing…Its…”
Trent was cut off by a group communication by Aldershot Station.
“Transport Convoy, this is Aldershot Station, please proceed through the Jump gate, Sprague is aware of your imminent arrival”
“How rude!” said Trent.
The Transport convoy made its way to the Dom Kavash docking ring. It was large enough for the transport to make its descent down to the planet.
Trent, Juni, King, Von Claussen and Parkin followed shortly after, along with the rest of the convoy ships.
Waiting on the landing pad was Ganesh, his two advisors, Orillion, Jacobi and Queen Carina.
Everyone made their way out of their ships and waited for the alien vessel to be pulled out of the transport.
Omaelia, Quintaine and Sinclair had already left the transport and had gathered around the ship with everyone else.
Trent, Juni, King and Von Claussen went to stand with Orillion and Jacobi. Parkin went over to stand by Queen Carina
There was much apprehension on the ground as the alien ship drifted out of the large belly of the transport.
“Well, its erm, doesn’t appear very alien does it” said Jacobi.
The ship appeared to be very crude, made out of materials not common to Sirius.
“Doctor, can you decipher this writing” said Omaelia to Quintaine while pointing at the writing on the side of the ship
anr koanuuu
“No, its like nothing I’ve ever seen” replied Quintaine as he rubbed the palm of his hand over the writing.
As he brushed his over the writing, the cargo hold sprung open startling everyone.
“What about the life sign?” said Trent.
It appeared everyone had forgotten Trent’s scan in awe of the ship.
“Take a look” said Omaelia looking at Trent.
“Be careful” said Juni.
Trent walked slowly over to the cargo hold and peered inside. Pushed up against the back wall was a rectangular object with what appeared to be a raised curved glass pane over the top.
It had gathered a layer of dust.
As Trent went to brush it away, he stopped. His mind had cast back to his first visit on board the Dom Kavash Mothership. His current situation had reminded him of what happened the last time he brushed dust of a container.
“Trent….Trent….Hey Trent!” Shouted Juni as she placed her hand through the cargo hold and on to Trent’s shoulder instantly snapping him out of his daydream.
“Huh, oh sorry” replied Trent. His hand was still hovering inches above the dust covered container.
“Are you ok?” asked Omaelia.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit of deja vue that’s all”
“Well what’s inside” she replied.
Trent placed his hand firmly on the container and slowly brushed away the a small segment of the dust at the top of the container.
His eyes opened wide and he slowly turned round to look at Omaelia and Juni, along with everyone else who had moved their way over to the hold.
“Its human…..”
Edited by - Bret Bretonian on 9/23/2004 2:44:54 PM
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