Yes, on my website there is a creative writing, part of the second part
Strage enoug, i've been thinking bout that situation a lot these days...

I hate sarcasm, I never ever use it.

sycho_warrior
Forum Systems Chapter 6

there are SO many things I'd like to change if i could, including not being born. But as you actually can't change the past, don't you take some pride in that your mistakes which obv you're feeling q bad about in retrospect, have made you a stronger and better person?

I get hammered on booze and ganja almost every night in an attempt to blot out painful memories I still have problems living with years later, but I wouldn't go back to the way i was before i had to face the consequences of things i done. And no i wouldn't wish to go back to my childhood - except to tell my parents what a pair of bible-bashing two-faced retarded evil freaks they were; well a lot earlier than i actually did tell them, anyway

You guys make me laug so much and the you guys make me so so sad...

Taw, thats part of the problem, if I replayed and did not know what I chnaged, I would miss out, however, somethings, I would rather not remeber. That is why I would like to see how things happen by choices and pick the best course for future choices.

But while thinking about all this, I kind of got into tangents. Like if I changed and action that got me a skinned knee, I missed out on the icecream that I had afterwards and in anyfuture things that would have happened and now won't. It gets masive if you think about it.

A major decision, cost me a chance to marry, I hate the delay I chose and and lost the chance. I kick myself everyday because of it. If only I had said something a month earlyer. I have the deepest regrets about this. I found out later, she would have married me, but she thought I was not intersted in marrage. All and still, Happy Mothers Day! Give Moriah my love too. For you -


Edited by - Finalday on 5/9/2004 4:37:15 AM

if i could rewind anything, it would be all the money ive wasted, and all the food ive eaten that i didnt need.

so you don't put that down to "karma" or predetermination? you accept that at that time your destiny was entirely in your hands?

all choices are blind; we have infinite choices in life, each affecting subsequent decisions we have to make in greater or lesser ways, but you can never do more than predict the occasional general outcome and its comsequences. tbh I think you're letting it get to you, I know cos I mull this sort of stuff over as well, but it's fruitless and you're just making life hard for yourself thinking "what if..." all the time. Failing that, get plastered like I do.

@final, ouch.

on topic, i've got lots to undo as well.. but i'm happy the way things are going..

@Taw Ya then you get up the next day and everything just looks the same...cept if you went and made stuff wore...I dont think I'll eva understand why ppl think getting drunk is a way out, to me it only sems like something to make stuff worse, or causes tragedy's

I've got so much crap to undo, it's not even funny. But I can't, so I don't dwell on it. It would make my life much more miserable if spent all day, every day, thinking of what could have been. I don't really think about it anymore. I just move on with my life and make more mistakes.

"If it's our time to die, it's our time. All I ask is that when it's our time, if we have to give these b******s our lives, WE GIVE 'EM HELL BEFORE WE DO!"

Life experience. What do you learn from happy occasions? What do you learn fromsad ones? I tend to think we learn more from the sad experiences.

Fd. I have one of those what-ifs too but.. well it didn't happen. And I made it not happen. The point would be, back at that time, I was acting "normally".... stupidly but normally.... I cannot help but think that I would have made same mistake, maybe not at the exact same point in time but the same mistake resulting in the same ending, nonetheless.

The pain is real, the regrets and sense of loss is real, the possibility that had you done something different, things would have turned out differently, is not.

and the dark milk of intoxicated oblivion is warm and welcoming..

Interesting topic - yeah is the answer - LOTS

Hmm - simply put - never started smoking? that would mean i wouldn't miss it now - which WOULD be nice.

Also - I woulda saved ALOT of money.

The only other real regrets are;


NOT working hard enough in school. I was a coaster all the way - minimum path - I never revised until i got to university, and even then - I stopped working within weeks of getting there. I didn't turn up, turned alcoholic for 3 years, and wasted the time frugally. Main regrets are only having an "oridinary" degree, as funnily enough, the only exam I failed was in my last year - where i lost the "honours" part of it....until then i was still on for a 2:ii (after scraping through on 3 hours of revision in the morning of the exams..) - but women, drink and FAR too much debauchery cost me a degree basically. I am amazed that i managed so long there as it was, my drinking partner got kicked out. My hours of attendance over 4 years was smaller in hours than someone who turned up full time would get in one and a half terms(half a year).

So - I shoulda worked in my A-levels, but instead i was down the pub getting drunk most days - or round my mates watchin TV etc. Then i shoulda just got off my arse and worked at uni - coulda easily sailed through if i had turned up and got notes to revise from for the exams!!!

Thats about it really!

BUT - my uni years were completely awesome, where I have made mates for life, and loved every single minute of it. So - if i had to trade the friendships, memories and all - then i wouldn't do it. What i mean is - i could have done it all still - but in MORE moderation (ie - passed the bloomin exams!).

Edited by - Chips on 5/8/2004 11:13:02 AM

so what, you didnt pass cos you mucked about? ffs Chips we all did that, it doesn't matter, no one ever asks for your degree certificate ever unless youre joining some official body like the pigs or the pongoes. In 20yrs I havent been asked for my degree certificate once (i dont even know if Ive still got it)

chill out man, the onlky thing anyone really cares about is "can you do the job?"

lol - every job that requires my degree - ie - industrial chemist, or research or anything remotely linked to it - requires a 2:ii minimum. Truth is that i spent a ton of cash, and the degree i am left with is pretty much - well, useless due to its grade