point of being normal?

Sun Jan 11, 2004 4:22 pm by Leonhart

Well, today has been worse day of my 15 years of life. Whole day there was yelling and screaming in my house. 2 persons that should love each other and care about me are fighting each other, and me I am in middle of all the **** that is happening. I do not see a point in being a normal person anymore, or even living, as no one seems to see how much I suffer and how much I will suffer, I just cant take it anymore. I can feel a change in me, by every moment I am becoming more angry and more crazed, and I am close to the point of blowing up. I do not fear for me but I fear for people around me, I have so much anger that its close to boiling point, and tomorrow in school if somebody makes me reach this point...I do not even wish to think about what will happen. From quiet person I am more and more closer to being violent, which I am afraid of. These fights are taking me deeper and deeper in to darkness of anger and craze, soon I will not be able to control my self, and dont know but something will definitely happen...not sure to who though. By writing this and sharing it with others I hope to come back to light. Sometimes I feel like braking everything around me just for pure enjoyment. Depending on how all this will end, this might be a last post I write, before I sunk in to darkness. I wish to thank you all for making my life easier these last couple months, but I am afraid there is too much anger for this forum to extinguish. All bad things that happened to me over last couple years are all gathering together...hopfuly I will be able to release all anger and frustration peacefully and unharmly...

I truly hope that sharing this with you all will help me over come this……

Sun Jan 11, 2004 4:27 pm by freighter fighter

yeah, parents do that from time to time i guess. even my sister and i yell at each other. best thing for it is to take yourself out for a walk to get away and let yourself calm down

Sun Jan 11, 2004 4:34 pm by mustang

You have to find a safe way to release anger, I lift weights myself. Anything that requires exertion on your body is a good way to release subdued anger. I find screaming helps to, just find a secluded area and scream your guts out. The fact that you are trying to control your anger is a good sign though.

Sun Jan 11, 2004 4:44 pm by Tawakalna

how heavy a weight?

Sun Jan 11, 2004 5:34 pm by Doom_Lancer

Now I may just be a cynical shmuck, so don't pay attention to what I write here.

Whenever I think about my hurtful past, and trust me you have it a lot better than I did, I always try to think about those that have it worse than me. There are kids your age that have to worry about getting food, not because their parents don't pay attention to them, but because there just isn't any food to have. Your parents yell at each other? big deal. at least they don't try and stab one another with kitchen knives. Get over it, you have plenty of time to turn into a well adjusted human being, the fact that you recognize how messed up it all is will carry you through life and make you a better person than they are, you can't change them, but you can change yourself...........what you need to do is STOP acting like a victim of circumstance and START taking control of your life. whatever problem your parents are haveing are THEIR problems not yours. You can't fix them. And about blowing up, anger is a gift. but anger without selfcontrol is selfdestructive, it won't help anything. store the anger up for when your pop smacks your mom, then kick his ass in.

After reading Chetnik's story, I can't believe you have the nerve to post about your parents yelling. Shameful.

PS. if any mods think this a little harsh, I'll totally understand if it is whiped.....

Good?....Bad?......I'm the guy with the gun.

Edited by - Doom_Lancer on 1/11/2004 5:40:02 PM

Edited by - Doom_Lancer on 1/11/2004 5:41:14 PM

Sun Jan 11, 2004 5:43 pm by mustang

Depends on what im doing, I bench a max of 70kg but I can only get 6 of them out before my arms turn to jelly.

Sun Jan 11, 2004 5:51 pm by Tawakalna

<sniff> flash git

Sun Jan 11, 2004 5:56 pm by maswastage|BG

anger, frustration, depression; there seems to be a lot of that going around.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Edited by - maswastage/BG on 1/11/2004 6:02:04 PM

Sun Jan 11, 2004 6:03 pm by Tawakalna

i'm happy. i getting 3.5K this week! 'kin good one.

Sun Jan 11, 2004 7:15 pm by Arcon

tell your parents how much theyre hurting you when they get at each other. Adults are ****s alot of the time and become very self centered (look at taw. we have more threads about him than anyone else) and tend not to know that they could have an effect so important on you. They need to be informed or you might be in for alot of hurt before things start to cool down between your parents.

Screaming, weights, girls, theres lots of things you can do to take your mind off things and to calm down. Any interest that focuses your mind and complete attention that takes you out of the house is a good idea. But please dont get to the stage where you dont see the point in living. Weve had this madness talk from Chet already this week and you KNOW that giving up is just the worst thing you could do in any situation.

Strong character and a healthy distraction is whats required here. But dont be afraid to talk to people about what your going through.

"ive got an attitude of everything i've ever wanted"

Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:20 pm by Leonhart

Well things have calmed down, and my anger and pain died. One factor that helped me were you guys, by sharing my problem with all of you, it was easier for me to overcome it, and I thank you. All in all I am back to normal, except an ripping headache (nothing an pain killer wont fix

). I have put a lot of thought in to all this and decided that it would be the best for me to just relax and focus on future of my life, and not on surrounding distractions.

After reading Chetnik's story, I can't believe you have the nerve to post about your parents yelling. Shameful.

I do not think this is shameful. I only did this to make me get over my anger and all other things that gathered over last couple years. By sharing my problem I hoped to make it easier, which did happen, and I am back to normal, thanks to all good friends in OT. I relaxed while I wrote all of this, and if I have not done so I would still be clouded in anger, and getting closer to boiling by every second. Therefore I do not believe this is shameful, correct me if I am wrong.

Once again, thanks guys!!

Mon Jan 12, 2004 12:40 am by Tawakalna

me and me biatch have some right old ding dongs in front of the kids. Carol's chucked many a plate/pan/kitchen utensil/remote control/book at me over the years when she's lost it (usually at the time of the month) and she doesn't hold back with the sprogs much either. Women are like this and eventually even easy-going hubs like me will react. it happens. doesn't me we don't love each other or anyhting like that. hell you should the rows me uncle Gianni in Italy has with his family, I feel like hiding behind the sofa! but this is the way most families are...

sh*t, y'ain't gonna get through family life without rows and bust-ups, sometimes it feels like its all directed at you. it isn't. if there's ups as well as downs then its normal. its when its ALL downs that you have to worry.

Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:40 am by mustang

Carol's chucked many a plate/pan/kitchen utensil/remote control/book at me over the years when she's lost it

Yeah but can you blame her with a husband whose stark raving bonkers.

Mon Jan 12, 2004 7:47 am by Recusant

Leonhart, I remember seeing your photo, you're a big guy and you say you have violent intentions? Get out and play some rugby now!

In all seriousness, I either train/exercise to exhaustion or sometimes I get the axe out and chop some wood (NOTE: not people, no matter how violent you feel).
Chopping wood helps fulfill a destructive urge plus it burns off a crap load of energy as long as you use a long handled axe.

Mon Jan 12, 2004 8:12 am by gromit

@taw - how did I just know you had an Uncle Gianni...??!! He doesn't speak as if he's got cotton wool in his cheeks does he? As a kid did you find it odd that even though his name's Gianni, his close friends call him Don??!!!

@leon - dude, firstly, hope you're ok. I think we've all been there and we can all feel your pain. I know its difficult and you'll probably find this hard to understand right now, but your parents will be fighting mainly because of the amount of time they have been together and for various other stress-related reasons that you'll probably never know. Unfortunately, no family is perfect, this happens to everyone. Your best bet is to find some kind of escapism - everybody has their own methods - mine was music and movies, for others it might be a sport, or a martial art. The advantage to choosing music is that when they start to row, you get to turn your stereo to full whack - which has two advantages - firstly, it lets them know you're p*ssed off with them, and secondly, how often do you get to turn your stereo up to full whack??!!

I hope things blow over and sort themselves out....they often do....take it easy and try to channel some of that anger into something that will make you feel good. And if you get a moment - tell your parents how you felt, it will make a difference I promise....

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