Fri Aug 29, 2003 3:41 am
yeah, well after jesus was born, i think joseph may have got the 'ump and went and slept with some loose jewish women.
if you think about it, how about:
It was all quiet in the house when Mary comes running down the stairs crying. Joseph looks up from his paper;
"whats up ducky?" Joseph asked,
"i'm pregnant!" Mary replied woefully
"what???..." exclaimed Joseph as he started to put two and two together.
Jospeh grabbed Mary with both hands and shook her so she was staring at him, the tears gone for now.
"..AND WHO MAY I ASK IS THE FATHER???" enquired Joseph, thinking of what he would do to the asshole.
Mary was busted, she knew she shouldnt have told him, but the more she kept it a secret, the worse it would become, and its not like it was something she could have kept secret forever.
Mary cursed herself for having the affair, she didnt even mean to get involved with Steve, but with Josephs continued late nights at the carpentry firm, her bed was getting awfully lonely. On top of that was Josephs inability to be intimate with her after so many years of marriage. "Oh well" she though "its too late to do anything about it now, the real trick is to get out of this situation"
"its...erm...its not what you think" Mary said, quite sheepishly.
"Oh REALLY?" retorted Joseph sarcasticly "'cause from where i'm standing it looks like youve been playing the field you filthy harlot but from the sounds of it there seems to be a completely honest explaination, one that doesnt involve you getting your end away with some toyboy you met down at the bingo halls!"
Joseph was really starting to loose his temper now, even more bitter after remembering the arguments he had with his mother about Mary. Joseph had defended her against his mother when she leveled the accusations at her, saying she was a "no good tart with young men and an easy life on her mind", it looks like his mother was right after all.
"Yes, thats right, its not what your thinking, i havent been sleeping with anyone...its...erm...its an immaculate conception...yeah, i cant explain it, one minute i'm not pregnant, the next minute i am....imagine that"
Mary looked at her husband, wincing, hoping the explaination would work on him
"GOD? your saying GOD impregnated you?" Joseph asked, slightly calmer than before
"Thats what i'm saying, it, erm, must be the Messiah inside me" added Mary, stringing the line out a bit further, hoping for a bite
"Oh my word Mary, do you know what this means?" shouted Joseph, letting go of his wife as his mood changed to that of elation, "it means our child, the child we'll bring into this world, the child we'll raise together, will be the child of God himself. We are truly blessed.."
And so, on that fateful night, the base of the Christian faith was formed.
-arcon
------
if you think about it, how about:
It was all quiet in the house when Mary comes running down the stairs crying. Joseph looks up from his paper;
"whats up ducky?" Joseph asked,
"i'm pregnant!" Mary replied woefully
"what???..." exclaimed Joseph as he started to put two and two together.
Jospeh grabbed Mary with both hands and shook her so she was staring at him, the tears gone for now.
"..AND WHO MAY I ASK IS THE FATHER???" enquired Joseph, thinking of what he would do to the asshole.
Mary was busted, she knew she shouldnt have told him, but the more she kept it a secret, the worse it would become, and its not like it was something she could have kept secret forever.
Mary cursed herself for having the affair, she didnt even mean to get involved with Steve, but with Josephs continued late nights at the carpentry firm, her bed was getting awfully lonely. On top of that was Josephs inability to be intimate with her after so many years of marriage. "Oh well" she though "its too late to do anything about it now, the real trick is to get out of this situation"
"its...erm...its not what you think" Mary said, quite sheepishly.
"Oh REALLY?" retorted Joseph sarcasticly "'cause from where i'm standing it looks like youve been playing the field you filthy harlot but from the sounds of it there seems to be a completely honest explaination, one that doesnt involve you getting your end away with some toyboy you met down at the bingo halls!"
Joseph was really starting to loose his temper now, even more bitter after remembering the arguments he had with his mother about Mary. Joseph had defended her against his mother when she leveled the accusations at her, saying she was a "no good tart with young men and an easy life on her mind", it looks like his mother was right after all.
"Yes, thats right, its not what your thinking, i havent been sleeping with anyone...its...erm...its an immaculate conception...yeah, i cant explain it, one minute i'm not pregnant, the next minute i am....imagine that"
Mary looked at her husband, wincing, hoping the explaination would work on him
"GOD? your saying GOD impregnated you?" Joseph asked, slightly calmer than before
"Thats what i'm saying, it, erm, must be the Messiah inside me" added Mary, stringing the line out a bit further, hoping for a bite
"Oh my word Mary, do you know what this means?" shouted Joseph, letting go of his wife as his mood changed to that of elation, "it means our child, the child we'll bring into this world, the child we'll raise together, will be the child of God himself. We are truly blessed.."
And so, on that fateful night, the base of the Christian faith was formed.
-arcon
------
I should have known better before starting this thread, but I honestly believed that we could discuss this without offending or insulting anyone....regrettable it wasn´t meant to be. Perhaps it´s best this thread gets locked before it does more harm... The last thing I wanted is to have someone offended.