I think your story is coming along great but it could use some more fighting scenes.

5 Minutes later, Mark rented a suite from the station manager. The manager gave him a set of card keys and uploaded a map to his NN Communicator. Mark took them and walked away. He examined the map and saw that his room was in the upper parts of the station. He searched for an elevator that would take him to the suite. He found one, so he walked to it. It was down the hallway. After he got to it, he pressed a button that said "133", which was the floor that his suite was on. The elevator began moving up. Mark could hear the humming of the elevator.

Suddenly, the elevator stopped moving. Mark was very afraid, because the elevator might fall. He looked at the computer screen which told him where he was, and he realized that he was on the 48th floor. He pressed the "EMERGENCY OPEN" button, but the doors wouldn't open. He pulled out his ion blaster and shot at the doors. He saw a switch on the gun that said "CONTINUOUS BEAM", which surprised him because aliens normally don't understand English. He flipped the switch and sliced a hole in the elevator doors. He sliced another hole in the next pair of doors that kept people from falling into the elevator shaft, and climbed out of the elevator. He wiped the dirt off of his clothes, and went to a staircase. He remembered that he had purchased the suite on the 32nd floor, so he would use the stairs to go down 15 flights until he gave the keys back to the manager and told him what happened.

3 Weeks later, Orillion had moved all of the Order forces in Sirius to Planet Neverland, a terrestrial planet in the Omicron Delta system. He had already briefed them all on their, hopefully, final mission against the Nomads. Many Order soldiers will be sent to what they believe is the Nomad homeworld, to engage in planetary combat with the Nomads. They will try to take down the Nomad presence there. Orillion had already heard from Mark. He knows that he is alright

Standing on the balcony of his home, Orillion sighed and attempted to contact Mark. He got a signal, and Mark answered.

"Hi, Orillion. Is there any news now? You haven't talked to me in 2 weeks."

"Mark, I need you to come to the Omicron Delta system as soon as possible. I am organizing an attack on the Nomad homeworld. I'm sending the coordinates of the exact location I need you to go to. You have a ship, correct?"

"You found where the Nomads are? I'm ready to come, and I do have ship. Just send me the coordinates and I'll try to get there. Expect me in Omicron Delta by the end of this week. Goodbye."

"Alright, I'll see you soon." Orillion terminated the call. He went back into his house and sat on a chair. He soon fell asleep.

************************************************************************************************
The next day, Mark put on his clothes, left his suite, and locked the door. He quickly put on his black gloves and wiggled his fingers and made them into fists. He then went to the station manager and paid him and gave him the keys. Mark left and the manager called out to him.

"Ah, laddy! Thanks for staying at this station! Please, come back soon!"






Edited by - Chocolate Stiletto on 1/3/2007 1:39:54 PM

Good, keep updating.

Mark rummaged around in his pockets and took out the Rheinland Valkyrie activation keys. He had already got to his ship, so he just scanned the card key in. The ship cockpit opened, and he brought a ladder over to the ship. He climbed up, sat on the pilot seat, and strapped himself in. He pressed a button on the console and the cockpit window closed. He activated the engines, hailed the airlock, and flew in.

5 Minutes later, he was at the Omega-35 jumpgate. He already knew where the Omicron Delta system was, so getting there shouldn't be much of a problem. He hailed the jumpgate and it began to open. Mark began to fly slowly to the gate. The gate was fully opened, and it sucked him into hyperspace.

Mark was staring at the blue-green "tunnel" that separated you from the "real" universe. It was only through jumpgates and jumpholes that humans can get to one system from another. He was busy pondering the workings of the jumpgate, but then he stopped moving. He had gotten to the Omega-35 system. Mark set a course to the Omicron Kappa jumpgate. Since this was a system without tradelanes, Mark would have to fly to the jumpgate with his cruise engines. He activated the engines and began to zoom toward the waypoint.

3 Minutes later, he detected ships flying in his direction. His computer couldn't recognize them, so he assumed they are here to attack him. Mark powered up his weapons system and prepared to engage the 2 encoming ships. They were 2000 meters away from him now...

"Mr. Zellerman! This is Order RS Digamma-2. We have been sent by Orillion to escort you to the Battleship Painkiller, a secondary battleship of the Order. It is located in this system. We will take you to Omicron Delta from here."

Exellent story. keep up the good work. the systems are an especially nice touch

Play CYOF!

Mark engaged the formation maneuver and joined the Order ships.

"Alright, Mr. Zellerman. I am now activating cruise engines. The battleship is less than 40 kilometers away. I am uploading the coordinates.", said one of the pilots. He activated his cruise engines, and so did Mark and the other pilot. They flew toward the battleship's location.

20 Minutes later, they got to Battleship Painkiller. The battleship hailed them.

"It's nice to see you, Mr. Zellerman and Digamma-2! Please, dock immediately. Orillion has already set course for Omicron Delta." The bay doors opened and the three ships flew into the airlock. The bay doors closed, and the ships docked. Mark got out of his ship.

"Mr. Zellerman! Orillion wants to see you in his office." A woman who Mark had never seen before was talking to him.

"I understand, but first, can you tell me your name?", replied Mark.

"I am Vemitra Danopoulos. I am the advisor to the president of Athenia. There are some important matters to discuss right now. Please, come with me."

Athenia? , Mark thought to himself. That is the colony from the Greek sleepership Athenia that launched from Pluto a millenium ago! I've never been there before.

5 Minutes later, they got to Orillion's office. Mark saw a stout man with black hair and Orillion sitting on chairs in the room. Orillion greeted Mark.

"Ah, Mark. It's good to see you again. I have some good and bad news to tell you. Allow me to introduce Mr. Nikolaos Spinagakos, the president of Athenia." The president stood up and held his hand out to Mark. Mark shook it.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Spinagakos.", said Mark.

"Thank you. I came here to discuss funding for the Order. One of my advisors has connections with the Order. She showed me evidence of the aliens called Nomads. I will be happy to supply the Order with ships, soldiers, and other necessary things.", said the president.

"I understand, but I have to know when we are going to strike the Nomad homeworld. Orillion would help you with commanding the troops. He knows where to attack.", replied Mark.

Orillion spoke. "We will attack them in 2 weeks. We first have to get to Omicron Delta. The Nomad homeworld is in a previously unknown system outside of the Edge Nebula. For now, we will refer to that system as "Nomad Alpha". I know how to get there. A jumphole in Omicron Delta leads to Omega-47. A Nomad base was recently destroyed in that area, and a jumphole to the Nomad Alpha system is also in Omega-47."

************************************************************************************************
17 Days later, the Order juggernaught Demonslayer floated above the Nomad homeworld. It carried all of the Athenian and Order soldiers assigned to fight on the Nomad homeworld. It was about to send the troops to the planet.

Mark stood in line with 299 other soldiers. They were about to enter the dropship that would carry them down to the planet. Each of them wore a combat suit and carried a uranium rifle. The rifles use Uranium-35 cells to fire.

"Alright, soldiers! You may now enter the dropship! Single file, please.", said a commanding officer. He pressed a button on the titanium wall, and the large doors opened. The soldiers marched into the dropship.

Mark walked until he got into a seat. He strapped himself into the seat. It took 10 minutes for everyone to get into a seat. Someone began talking over the loudspeaker.

"We will send the facilities needed for this battle shortly after arrival. Land sequence activating in 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... launch!" The dropship instantly began falling toward the planet. Mark felt like he was in an elevator.




Edited by - Chocolate Stiletto on 1/10/2007 1:11:48 PM

Another sleepership! Keep up the good work.

(The Order had new technology. The most useful was that structures can be sent down to planets. This meant that after the Order soldiers had landed on the Nomad homeworld, they would have a base of their own without having to build anything.)

5 Minutes later, the dropship landed on the planet. The loudspeaker was on again.

"Order troops! We have made planetfall. You will exit the dropship shortly. Another one will land soon. Wait for next announcement!"

Mark disengaged the safety measures on his seat. He stood up and stretched his arms and legs. He grabbed his uranium rifle and waited.

Soon, the second announcement was made. "A scan of planet air has confirmed that air is breathable! Oxygen and nitrogen is plentiful. You may now exit the dropship." The metal doors opened. The soldiers ran out of the dropship and waited outside. 2 Officers came out of the dropship, and the doors closed. Mark looked around. He noticed that he was on a warm planet.

1 Minute later, another dropship landed. Their crew got out of the dropship.

The colonel stood near the large group of people. His communicator beeped, indicating an incoming call. He answered it.

"This is Colonel Demetro Abilagos speaking.", said the colonel.

"Hello, Colonel Abilagos. The Demonslayer is sending down structures 500 meters west of your position."

"Understood." The colonel disconnected. He waited for the structures to come.

10 Minutes later, a large metal building, a solar energy collector, and another large building landed on the surface. The colonel gave the large group of soldiers the order to get to the buildings. They all ran to the buildings.

I hope theres a fight coming up soon.

Mark awoke with a start. He heard a loud noise coming from the hallway. He scratched his head, put his slippers on, grabbed his laser pistol, and ran into the hallway. He saw that the metal doors down the hallway were destroyed. Pieces of twisted metal were scattered around. Most of the other soldiers sleeping in the same section ran out of their rooms, weapons drawn. A huge, blue alien stomped into the hallway. It spit on one of the soldiers.

"****! You ****ing piece of ****!" She became very angry, and blasted away at the alien. The laser bolts made holes in the alien. The rest of the soldiers did the same. The alien screamed, and ran toward the soldiers. They backed away, and the alien grabbed one of them. Mark watched in horror as the alien ate the soldier. He kept shooting it. It spit the soldier out, and fell on the floor. Green blood was everywhere.

A soldier came out of the sleeping quarters and scratched his head. He yawned and said, "Wow! What happened here?" Someone else answered his question, and he ran back inside and grabbed a uranium rifle. Someone yelled at him.

"Damn! Don't use that in here! You'll cause-", their speech was cut off when a load roar came from the hall. 5 Blue aliens ran into the room and started shooting ion projectiles at the soldiers. A long, bloody battle ensued as the soldiers retaliated. Mark ran back into the room and got a uranium rifle. He turned it on to a minimum setting and attacked the aliens. They died with the first hit.

More and more aliens kept coming in. The entire base had turned on the red alert. The aliens were everywhere!

"AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!", screamed a woman. She was hit in the head with an ion blast. Her senses were dulled. She laid on the floor. The rest of the soldiers were busy shooting at the aliens to do anything to save her.

Mark ducked behind a metal shield, and stood up every now and then to shoot a piece of uranium at the attackers. He noticed that the aliens stopped coming into the hallway. The last alien fell on the floor. The entire hallway was filled with corpses. Mark put down his gun and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. An announcement came over the intercom system.

"Attention, all Order and Athenian forces. We have no more reports of alien activity in this area. Please, stand down and get some rest."





Edited by - Chocolate Stiletto on 1/11/2007 3:43:27 PM

Keep up the good work.

Mark turned on the faucet in the bathroom, and hot water gushed out of the metal fixture. He cupped his hands and used the water to wash his face. He looked into the mirror and sighed. "It's going to be a long fight.", he told himself. He turned the faucet off, and pressed a button on a nearby wall-mounted object. Blue cream fell onto his hands, and he rubbed the cream into them. They were instantly dry. He walked out of the bathroom and went back to his bed. He laid on the bed, covered himself with the blanket, and fell asleep.
************************************************************************************************
Mark's deep slumber was broken when a loud noise woke him up. Someone began talking over the intercom system.

"All Sector A troops, please report to the Sector A Armory immediately! Thank you."

Sector A? That's the building I am assigned to right now! , thought Mark. He stretched his arms, and put on his uniform and boots. He saw all of the other soldiers in the same room doing the same thing. Some had already gone to the Armory. He quickly grabbed his rifle and laser pistol, and left the room.

He ran down the hall and got into the elevator. Some other people got into the elevator as well, and they all were going to the same place. The elevator began to go down.

1 Minute later, Mark got to the Armory. He saw an officer nearby and went to ask him what to do next.

"Excuse me, sir. What do I have to do in the Armory?"

"Sit down and wait. An announcement will be made shortly telling you what to do next."

Keep it goin.

No update mate?