Whew!
Awesome, just awesome!
You really have this rolling, how long do you expect to go until the ending? If it is soon, then I will hold the FL Fan Fic Collection V2 until then. I really want this to be included.

____________________________________________________
Member of the UTF clan.
Member of the ~{Liberator[}~ clan.
Creator of the Freelancer Fan Fiction Collection.
Author of Various Freelancer Stories.
Associate Judge and Master of the BHG in the CYOF RPG.


Click here to download it!


Edited by - Finalday on 10/29/2004 3:40:15 PM

Dude. Awesome. If your writing continues to improve I really won't be able to help you anymore. Of course, that is a good thing so I'll make one minor comment.

The following sentence doesn't really make sense.

---

Even though the Nomads had nearly destroyed it, the base remained a secret to the four major Houses, with the exception of President Jacobi.

---

Maybe it's just me but I can't see the correlation between the near-destruction of the base and its secrecy. Lose the first bit and put "With the exception of President Jacobi" at the beginning.

That's the only thing that really caught my attention. I'm certainly glad you put in a lot of dialogue; it made my job much easier.

Okay all, here comes Chapter 7.

CHAPTER 7: Encounter

Trent, King, Juni, Von Claussen and Kress stood in the briefing room as Orillion prepared his briefing notes.

"All right, people, it looks like we may have a lead on the Dom'Kavash vessel. We have been able to intermittently track the ship's subatomic 'exhaust', for lack of a better word, using our spy satellites and stations originally set up to track Nomad activity. Our best guess puts the vessel on course to the Omicron Beta system."

"Omicron Beta? Isn't that Outcast country?" King asked.

"Yes. Ruiz base is located there, and the only other object of note in the system is the planet Elysium. It is very possible that Elysium is the vessel's next destination. Your mission is to go to Omicron Beta and attempt to discover the Dom'Kavash's intention in the system."

"Doesn't sound too hard," King said, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Juni.

"So how does this thing get around?" Trent asked. "It's obviously way too big to use existing jump holes, and even if it could, would it use the established jump gates?"

"We don't really know, but Dr. Quintaine speculates that it may be powered by some kind of 'space drive,' as he calls it, which is capable of literally creating its own temporary jump holes. Keep in mind that this is only speculation."

"I wonder why the ship hasn't entered the core systems," muttered Juni as she looked at the holo-display. "It seems to be making its way along the Edge Worlds."

"We're not sure why this is so, but hopefully your reconaissance will give us some answers. Your callsign for this mission is Alpha Wing. Your orders are to observe and report. Under no circumstances will you engage the Dom'Kavash vessel. If you are attacked, bug the hell out and get to safety.

"Any questions? Then good luck."

-------------

The five Thoth fighters that made up Alpha wing entered formation and flew toward the super-secret jump hole that led to Omicron Theta. Juni was flying as Alpha Leader, and Trent took up a position on the left flank of the formation. Best to stay out of her way, he had thought to himself.

The trip to Omicron Beta had been fairly uneventful. The Thoth had been designed with the latest in stealth technology, and was nearly invisible on most sensors and scanners. This was advantageous to Alpha Wing, as not being discovered played a big role in their current mission.

Upon arrival through the Sigma-19 jump hole, Juni ordered the formation to spread out and begin scanning for the unique signature of the Dom'Kavash dreadnought. Trent set a course for Elysium, and upon arrival settled into a wide search pattern around the planet. Trent flew the pattern for nearly three hours, reporting in every 30 minutes. He was about to leave and search a new area when his scanner came to life with strange readings.

"Alpha Leader, this is Alpha Five, over," Trent called into the comm system.

"Go ahead, Alpha Five," Juni replied with a trace of bitterness in her voice, just as she had done every other time he had reported in. It was getting a little old, Trent thought.

"I just picked up some unusual readings on my scanner, equivalent to a jump hole phase-alignment."

"You know there are no jump holes near your position," Juni replied sharply.

"Look dammit, I'm not making this up. It's about five klicks from my present location and..." Trent's thoughts were interrupted by a bright flash of light. He watched in awe as the Dom'Kavash dreadnought appeared from out of nowhere.

"Dom'Kavash vessel sighted! It just appeared out of nowhere!" Trent turned the ship around and reached over to throttle up the cruise engines. As he did so, his scanner chirped again. He looked, and could not believe his eyes. Emerging from Elysium was wave after wave of Nomad fighters, accompanied by at least twenty battleships. Trent cursed, threw his Thoth into a savage turn and punched his afterburners. The Nomad ships tore past him, completely ignoring him and boring in toward the Dom'Kavash vessel. He cut his engines and watched as a space battle erupted, the likes of which he had never seen before.

King and Kress arrived at Trent's location a minute later, with Juni and Von Claussen not far behind. They watched as the battle unfolded, with the Nomad fighters taking on Dom'Kavash fighters in a series of dogfights, while the capital ships engaged the Dom'Kavash dreadnought. Energy weapons of incredible power lanced through space, lighting up the area with the telltale glow of destruction.

Trent watched the battle with fascination when suddenly his vision began to blur. He felt weak and dizzy as a wave of nausea swept over him. A picture began to form in his mind, an image of an insectlike being, the same one Trent had seen in his dream. The being was making the same clicking noises as before, as if trying to communicate, but Trent could not reply.

"Trent!!! Acknowledge!"

Trent's consciousness snapped back to reality.

"Trent here."

"Didn't you hear me?" Juni said. "Form up! We're getting out of here!"

"Roger."

The battle raged on for several more minutes while Alpha wing sped toward the Sigma-19 jump hole. Trent watched on his rear scanner as the Dom'Kavash vessel turned and made what he could only perceive as a strategic retreat. The ship disappeared in a flash of light, as quickly as it had first appeared. The remaining Nomad vessels turned around and made their way back to Elysium, disappearing into the planet's atmosphere.

--------------

Trent sat quietly in the briefing room pondering the strange vision he had seen during the battle. Juni was giving her report to Orillion.

"The Nomad ships seemed to come directly from Elysium. Trent was the closest at the time, he may be able to provide more information."

"Mr. Trent."

Trent snapped out of his trance and stood up. "As near as I could tell, the Nomad ships did come from the planet. My money's on Elysium being a secret Nomad base, and that's what brought the Dom'Kavash vessel there. The Nomads were able to repel the ship, and it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. It would seem that Dr. Quintaine's theory on the Dom'Kavash drive is right."

Orillion frowned. "This is at best a very disturbing development, and I don't even want to think about the worst case scenario. It looks like we've encountered the beginning of a Nomad-Dom'Kavash conflict, and God only knows what will happen if humanity gets caught in the middle."

---------------------


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Edited by - neuromancer on 10/29/2004 9:25:52 AM

Top quality. I'd like to think that my advice is helping a bit. When I realized that your sentence structure had become more varied I almost did a little dance. (That would have been very embarrassing as I'm in a packed university computer lab right now.)

Assuming that my tips are helpful, I have one more to offer.
When you write try to avoid using distinctive words or phrases in close proximity unless they work well for dramatic effect.

---

Upon arrival through the Sigma-19 jump hole, Juni ordered the formation to spread out and begin scanning for the unique signature of the Dom'Kavash dreadnought. Trent set a course for Elysium, and upon arrival settled into a wide search pattern around the planet.

---

The two "upon arrival"s can be somewhat jarring. Instead you could either say "As Alpha Wing exited the jump hole in Sigma-19..." or just lose the second "upon arrival" altogether.

Edited by - Codename on 10/29/2004 10:45:44 AM

N-N-Neuro, that was UNBELIEVABLE!!!! I don't think I have ever seen a better fanfic in all of my life. Incredible. Keep it up, this is the best.

Nice job!

Here's chapter 8.

CHAPTER 8: A Break In The Action


After a week of sitting in Omicron Beta and doing nothing, the crew of the Osiris was starting to get bored. The ship had taken up station in the system, hoping the Dom'Kavash ship would reappear. Despite repeated patrols through the system, there had been no sign of either the Nomads or the Dom'Kavash at all. In fact, there had been absolutely no contact or sightings of either species anywhere in the colonies.

Trent sat in the bar working on his third Sidewinder Fang. He knew he was drinking too much, but what else was there to do? Besides, the steady alcoholic assault helped him forget the dream. The strange vision of the insectlike creature had invaded his attempts to sleep, each time jolting him awake in a cold sweat. He wished he knew what it was supposed to mean, partly out of curiosity, but mostly because he just the hell wanted to sleep.

"Mind if I join you?" King asked, taking a seat.

"Belly on up. What are you drinking?"

"Anything to relieve the boredom. Where's Monty?" King looked for the bartender.

"Dunno."

"Damn it, I need a drink! Monty, where the hell are you?"

"Sorry," James Montgomery said as he came back toward the bar. "Want to try something new?"

"As long as it's at least 95% alcohol. What is it?"

"New drink I just created. I call it Plasma Coolant." Montgomery poured a green liquid into a shot glass. "Careful with that."

"Hey, it's me," King said as he downed the shot. Trent watched in amusement as King's eyes widened and his face turned a bright shade of red. When he was able to speak again, his voice was a low rasp.

"Good stuff."

"Want more?"

"Please."

-----------------

Orillion sat in his command chair on the bridge. He was getting frustrated. The Nomads and the Dom'Kavash had just disappeared. There had been no sign of any activity since the Dom'Kavash assault on Elysium. Had they left Sirius? Was the threat over? Orillion was wise enough to know that this was unlikely, but what else could it be?

His thoughts were interrupted by his communications officer.

"Sir, I have a Priority-One call coming through on the secure channel. It's President Jacobi."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. I'll take it in my battle office." Orillion made his way to the small office that was connected to the bridge. He sat in his chair and activated the comm system. A hologram of President Jacobi appeared.

"Madam President, good to see you again."

"Hello, Orillion. I wish the circumstances could be better. I need you to come to Manhattan as soon as you can."

"What's the problem?"

"A survey team in the Badlands recorded a series of strange readings coming from the vicinity of the anomaly where Benford Station used to be. When we analyzed it, we discovered the readings were aclose match to the readings you picked up in the Dyson Sphere prior to activating the Hyper Gate."

Orillion was silent. This could only mean one thing...

"Madam President, can you meet us in the Badlands?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can recruit a few Liberty Rogues to escort me in."

"Very well. I'll contact you on this channel when we arrive."

"Thank you, Orillion. We'll see you soon." Jacobi's hologram faded.

Orillion stood up and returned to the bridge. "Navigation, set course for the New York Badlands." He pressed a key on a comm console. "All senior staff please report to the bridge." Trent and King entered a few minutes later, with Juni not far behind.

"What's up, boss?" King asked. Orillion told him. It was a moment before anyone else spoke.

"You mean that..." Trent started.

"There is potentially another Hyper Gate in Sirius," Orillion finished for him. "And it's dead in the middle of Liberty space."

----------------------



Mmmm...Synth Paste...

In order to drum up a little interest in the fanfics being written here, I thought of a novel idea...SPOILERS!

So, without further ado, here's what you can expect in future chapters of Freelancer: Armageddon.

(If you are against spoilers, stop reading now)

Look for an unexpected betrayal of friends, a change in the relationship between Trent and Juni, and a fateful decision that will change Trent's life forever.


Mmmm...Synth Paste...

No comments yet? WTF???

Great stuff, neuro. I especialy liked the "Plasma Coolant" bit. Laugh out loud funny, it was.

One small thing has been bothering me though: "... but mostly because he just the hell wanted to sleep." I can't really explain why but that just doesn't work for me. If I understand correctly you put "the hell" in because you wanted to make the statement more emphatic. That's fine. I'd just word it differently. Here are a few options for you to consider:

"... but mostly because he just wanted to sleep, dammit."
"... but mostly because he just wanted to get the hell to sleep."
"... but mostly because he just wanted some goddamn(ed) sleep."

Choose your favorite.

MM MM MM MM MM
Toasty
Great stuff you got here.
I want some damned plasma coolant.

Here's chapter 9, hot off the grill. Grab a drink and enjoy.

Chapter 9: Second Encounter

It had been nearly two years since Trent had been here, at the former location of Benford Station. It was here that Dr. Van Pelt had bravely sacrificed his life so that Trent and Juni could escape Liberty.

He looked out the window at the strange anomaly scintillating in space several kilometers away, wondering if at any moment it might awaken from its long slumber. He looked over at Juni, who was standing alone at the other end of the room, a tear sliding down her cheek as she gazed out into the void. He wanted to comfort her, knowing what Van Pelt had meant to her, but decided against it.

"Feeling nostalgic?" Orillion asked, joining him.

"A little," Trent replied. "A lot of things in my life got their start here."

"Well, it looks like this place will be yet another start for all of us, Trent." Orillion looked out the window at the anomaly. "The only question is, when?"

"Commander Orillion," the communications officer said. "I have a Liberty Rogue Wolfhound hailing us. They are requesting permission to dock. They say they are carrying President Jacobi."

"Good," replied Orillion. "Grant permission. I'll be on the flight deck."

"Mind if I tag along?" Trent asked.

"Fine with me."

Trent and Orillion arrived on the flight deck as President Jacobi was disembarking.

"Madam President, welcome aboard," Orillion said as they shook hands."

"Thank you, Commander. Ah, Mr. Trent, good to see you again."

"You too, Madam President," Trent replied.

"So, what can you tell me about what's going on?" Jacobi asked.

"All we know is that there has been no additional signs of the alien vessel," Orillion said, "and no signs of Nomad activity either. We're not sure why. Lord Hakkera has reported that Kusari military activity has increased dramatically, apparently as a response to the Dom'Kavash activity near their territory. Rheinland is not happy about this, considering the tensions between the two houses right now. Von Claussen feels that the Rheinland government probably sees the buildup as preparations for an all-out assault on Rheinland to avenge the deaths of Kusari personnel during the first Nomad invasion."

"So you are convinced it's the Dom'Kavash, then?" Jacobi asked.

"Yes. Apparently the Nomads aren't happy about their return, as every contact we have had with the vessel results in an additional encounter with the Nomads."

"Any activity in the Dyson Sphere?"

"The battleship Isis is on station there, and has reported no unusual activity, which I find strange. I would think that the Dom'Kavash would want to go there, as it is most likely their home world. But I don't have any other information to speculate on."

"Has Dr. Quintaine been able to provide any clues as to what might be motivating the Dom'Kavash?"

"Nothing conclusive. The dig site on Sprague has not been very productive in terms of information, I'm afraid."

Suddenly the alarm klaxon sounded.

"Battle stations! Condition red!"

Orillion ran to a comm console.

"Bridge, what's happening?"

"We're reading a power surge coming from the anomaly. It's reading beyond scanner range, and the anomaly appears to be increasing in size."

"Evasive action. Get us as far from the anomaly as possible, but keep it in visual range if you can. I'll be right there."

"Aye, sir."

Orillion turned to Jacobi. "Looks like this could be it. I recommend you stay in the VIP quarters until this blows over."

"Hell no, Orillion. I want to see this with my own eyes."

---------------

The Osiris had put nearly ten kilometers between itself and the anomaly, yet the strange glowing mass filled up nearly a quarter of Trent's visual range. Jacobi just stared in awe.

"Talk to me, Lieutenant," Orillion said.

"I'm having trouble getting accurate readings," the lieutenant at the astrometric console replied. "It's almost as if space itself is warping around the object."

At that moment there was a flash of light, and the Dom'Kavash vessel emerged from the anomaly.

"Oh my God," Jacobi breathed.

The alien vessel seemed to ignore the much-smaller Osiris completely as it accelerated away from the anomaly toward open space.

"Now what do we do?" Trent asked.

"We follow it," Jacobi replied. "I'll be damned if I'm going to let this thing destroy Liberty without a fight."

Orillion agreed. "Navigation, set pursuit course. Flank speed."

After several minutes the vessels emerged from the Badlands into open space. Five Liberty battleships were waiting.

"What the..." Jacobi said.

The battleships opened fire on the Dom'Kavash ship. Massive beams of incredible destructive force lanced through space between the Dom'Kavash vessel and the Liberty armada, but the battleships were no match for the superior technology of the Dom'Kavash. The alien vessel destroyed the battleships as if it were merely swatting flies.

"Navigation, full stop!" Orillion ordered. "Madam President, what the hell were those ships doing here?"

"I...I don't know," Jacobi said, clearly shaken at what she had just seen.

"It's almost as if they knew the ship was coming," Trent observed.

"Believe me, those ships were not acting on my orders," Jacobi said, her voice trembling with anger. "When I get back to Manhattan I'm going to have a serious chat with High Command!"

"If there's anything left of Manhattan to go back to," Trent said. "Look!"

The Dom'Kavash vessel had entered a high orbit above the planet, essentially holding the entire world hostage. Trent suddenly felt dizzy, as the vision that had haunted him for days entered his mind again. He saw the alien creature coming toward him, extending one of its arms. Trent tried to block the image from his mind, and felt his consciousness slip away. Everything went black.

-------------------


Mmmm...Synth Paste...

Edited by - neuromancer on 11/5/2004 7:40:50 AM

Great stuff.

Ooooo. Me likey this! Me likey long time!

Dammit! Why is everyone ending their chapters with cliffhangers? It's not fair!

---

He looked out the window at the strange anomaly scintillating in space several kilometers away, wondering if at any moment it might awaken from its long slumber.

---

My god. That sentence in un-be-freakin-lievable! Scintillating...shivers down my spine, man. Shivers down my spine.

It's sort of a pity that the next sentece doesnt work quite as well. I'd split it and change the word order:
"Juni stood at the end of the room, alone in her sorrow. Trent nearly lost all composure as he saw a solitary tear roll down her cheek; seeing Juni so upset hit him with almost physical force..."

I want more.

Edited by - Codename on 11/5/2004 10:54:14 AM