- -Prolouge- -


2 years have passed since the nomads were defeated, the Sirus Sector is returning to normal, and order has been restored. During all of the passing time, 7 old friends met up, and decided to go out for a drink in the Manhattan bar...




- -Chapter One: Old Frieds Unite- -

"So what'll be your pleasure?" the bartender cheerfully asked. "Well, I'm looking for somthing cheap for my friends back there, we just met up so I thought we should celebrate." Replied William Markson. "In that case, I got the thing your looking for, how bout 7 glasses of Liberty Ale?" "Sure why not." William picked up the drinks and carried them off to where his friends were sitting. He had been through alot in his life, his father was a trader, and his mother was a bounty hunter. He was left alone at the house for hours, even days at times. "I got the drinks." He said as he sat down "Liberty Ale? Is that all they have?" replied his stong headed friend Mark. "Thats all they have unless you want to pay an extra 10 credits." "Yea, point made." Mark had a problem with taking no for an answer, his parents were outcasts and they taught him to not take orders from anyone. After his parents died in a shootout with the corsairs, those were the only words he has lived by. "So, what has everyone been doing these past years?" asked Sarah Lindrey. "I've got a job at the commodities office." Said Patrick Harris. "Ah cmon Pat, you know that junk is boring." replied Mark "Well then what job do you got?" "I'm thinking about joining the L.S.F." "And shoot outcasts?" "No, stop battles like the ones my parents died in." The comment from Mark made everyone feel uneasy. After another round of drink everyone loosened up a little. "So, how bout Jack, where you been?" Jack Marlin was another of William's close friends, and he grew up in a great neighborhood, with rich parents. "Me, you know I went into hiding when those freaky nomad guys came" "Yea, kinda cowardly don't you think?" "Well at first we weren't going to leave Liberty, but My dad was nearly killed by one of those, and he told the family to go hide at Freeport 4." About an hour passed, when Jennifer Robinson got up and said "Well, it was fun seeing you again, how bout we meet up some other time, but make sure it's not a bar." "Why not?" Replied William "Casue I thnik Rick hads had enough." The group of six now relized where there friend Richard Anderson went. Rick was sitting at another table with a group of people trying to eat their meal. Rick was babbling when one of the people said "I don't know who you are but go away!" "You Can't tell me what to do! Your an ugly moron!" Rick replied "Excuse me, sorry bout everything, he's with us." William quickly said "You don't know me! And another thing, whats the deal with the collision alarm! I mean, we are in space, you just bounce away like a bird..." Richard trailed away till he fell asleep and slouched on the table. William pulled him off, and went out the door his friends following quickly. "You know, we really helped you back there. That guy was about to kill you." William quietly said to Rick, who was still unconscious. "Is he gonna be okay?" " Well, besides a massive headache in the morning, he should be fine." Suddenly Rick got up and yelled "Gun!" then he began to stumbly off. "He's just really drunk as I said" William explained. "Maybe he's not you little punk!" The group of people turned around to see a man in black clothes pointing a pistol at them. " Get up off the bench..All of you Now!" The group got up their hands raised. Jack looked out of the corner of his eyes and saw Rick coming back. Then Rick pulled out a gun and fired 4 shots, all missing the target, but it drew his attention away from the group. Mark jumped forward and knocked the gun out of the mans hand. Yet the man had a knife hidden in his sleeve. He cut a small wound into Mark, and was about to finish him when Richard got a lucky shot hitting the mans hand. "Ahh!" The man screamed and pulled out another pistol, now firing at Rick. A shot clipped Richard's leg, and he fell. Then out of the corner of the man's eye, he saw Jack holding a pulse shotgun. Jack pulled the trigger and the man blew back onto the pavement. "Where the hell did you get that?" William yelled "It doesn't matter, Liberty Police will be here any minute let's get outta here!" "Wait" Said patrick. "Look what fell out of his pocket." The group gathered around and saw a list with all their names and pictures on it. "What's going on, how did they get those pictures?" asked Sarah "I don't know, but we have to fi..." He was cut off by the loud noise of a Liberty Police officer yelling at them to give up. "Let's scramble!" Everyone left quickly. Richard pulled his head up, he was drunk, but he still could feel where he was shot. Suddenly Police surounded him guns drawn.



Coming Soon:Chapter 2



Edited by - Timster on 8/10/2004 10:44:39 AM

Here's a problem I have in any fanfic I try to write; overdependence on quotations. After a while, all those marks start to blur and you have trouble keeping your characters straight, especially with 7 main ones all chit chatting at once. Also, don't introduce facts arbitrarily. The backround about your first guy was well placed, with the intro bit about why he knew the bar well, but the rest of it felt forced. Wait until it needs to be divulged before revealing it. Just let the story tell itself, through action and movement, not necessarily through talking heads. Beyond that, the story seems to have a solid start, and I am eagerly anticipating where it's going next. --- VH16

I am Nobody; Nobody is Perfect; Therefore, I am Perfect

Very good

very good, i like it. keep it comming

the group of 6 people(who were very easy to spot)only got away because the police took a larger intrest in Richard. After running, and ducking for cover for a few hours, they finally reached their detination; Marks home. Once inside Mark threw his fists on the table. "I can't believe we left Richard!" "There was nothing we could do, and where did get that gun Jack, those have been outlawed from Liberty." "I told you back there, and I'll say it again it doesn't matter." after hours of nothing but sitting William went back to the main point of this mess. "Who was that guy? And how'd he get all that info on us?" he asked. "Well, obviously someone put out a hit on us." Sarah replied. "I thnik were going to have to choose." William said. "Choose what?" "We can either stay here, and get attacked contantly, go to the cops who will arrest you anyway, or get off this rock and look for some answers. I want to know what this is about." After more time of convincing, they decided to put all their money together in buying ships. Yet they only had enough for about 4 Starflyers. Knowing they could carry only 1 person, the idea didn't work. "How bout we do a job?" Mark said. "A job? Are you crazy? What if we get killed?" Patrick said. "Hello, there is a bounty on our heads." More time passed when William said he had a friend at the equipment dealership, and he may be able to get him a ship. After one more hour everyone was sleeping.

In the morning they headed down to the ship equipment dealer, and met up with William's old friend, Larry. "Hey Larry, how you doing?" asked William" "Hey William, I'm doing okay, how bout you?" "Uh, you could say I'm fine, but we need a ship, one that can hold about 7 people." William replied. "Well, then you probably should get the Rhino Frieghter." "Yea, were low on money also." Larry looked at William and said,"You know what? I've got a friend that lives on seventh street, he needs a group of people to do a mission for him, I heard it's payng alot. Go check it out ok?" After saying bye to Larry, they headed toward seventh street at the address given to them. They looked up and saw a mansion. The walked to the door, and knocked. "Who is it?" A voice from the speaker box asked. "Uh, I'm William, I'm here to do a job." William replied. "Okay come inside." They walked inside and several men checked them for weapons. After that, a butler led them upstairs into a large office. "Hello, you must be Larry's friends, am I correct?" asked the man. "Yea were here to do a job." William replied. "Alright I need someone to deliver this box of cardimine down to the commoditiy trader. Don't worry, he's a big time cardimine user. But if we deliver it by ship, we'll most likely be scanned." The group left, delivered the cardimine to get it out of their hands, and gave the money to the man. "Okay here you go 50,000 credits." "Wow, thanks." The group once again walked to the large spaceport and bought a Rhino. "So how are we for defenses?" Jennifer sked. "The guy said it had 3 gun mounts 5 turret mounts, 2 of the turrets can be manually operated." William replied. They went to the equipment dealer got the turrets installed, and loaded up the guns. They also went to the local Liberty gun shop and bought several pistols, and automatics. Last, they loaded the ship up with sleeping bags, food, water, and other survival needs. "Okay." William said. "We've got food, guns, water, sleeping material, a ship loaded with weapons, and nanobots, and still about 25,000 credits. Yet we need one more thing." "What? Mark asked. "We still need Richard. I have a plan, we steal one of these ground speeders, get Richard outta prison, and get off this rock." "It's not that simple Will, you do relize that there will be lots of angry cops and that place is made outta solid stone. We can't get inside unless we go through the front gate." "We can if we got this. William held up a rocket launcher." "Where did you get that?!" Mark asked. "I got it from that drug dealer guy as a bonus. He said we were the first ones who had courage enough to go inside the mansion at all. Anyway we need to find a speeder, drive to the prison, find out which cell Rick's in, blow a hole in that cell's outside wall, get in the speeder then come here, than we can fly off." William said exhausted from speech. "Yea, well I hope your right, but I still think it won't be that easy." Mark added. At night the group of 6 got out of the Rhino, guns in hand, and walked down the street ready for battle.



Coming soon: Chapter 3

- -Chapter 3: Jailbreak- -

Jack ran up to a basic Liberty ground speeder and checked the lock. To his, and everyone's suprise the door was left open. Everyone piled into the van-like speeder, while Jack tried to hotwire it. "Yes, got it." he said as the speeder sprung to life rumbling a little louder than they had hoped. Jack carefully piloted the speeder in front of the security station that Rick was being held in. "Okay, I asked some rumors at the bar, and learned where Rick's room was, it's right about here." They stopped the vehicle in around the back, and all got out. William began to cut the barb wire fence when he relized what was happening. "Hey guys, if you want to turn back now, you can." He said. Yet everyone shook their heads, and gave him some reasuring thumbs up. He continued to cut the large hole into the fence. When he was finished everyone came through, and pulled thier guns out. "Alright I shoot this rocket off. It blows a hole in the wall, we get outta here and go to Bretonia." William said. He pointed the rocket launcher at the wall, and everyone else watched for guards. William lined up the shot and fired. The loud explosian, and the heat of the shockwave instantly woke Richard. He blew back into the iron bars, and slowly opened his eyes again. He say his six friends standing on the small slope that led up to the fence. "Guys!" He ran toward them. Suddenly gunfire came from all directions. William and his friends got back to the speeder, and Jack hit the accelerator. The speeder went off quickly, everyone firing out the windows towards the cops as they went. They pulled the speeder up by the commodity traders office, and William asked what's the best commodity to bring into Bretonia. "Boron, that stuff sells like crazy in Bretonia." Jennifer said. They loaded up the ship with boron, and stole a few excess weapons for the trip. Then they launched. Inside the cockpit Jack, and Mark slowly drove the ship. Jennifer was in her sleeping bag, which she put in the storage room. And eveyone else was seated at a table in the main corridor. "Why'd you guys come back? I wasn't totally wasted so I knew what happened last night." Richard asked. "We need everyone to stick close, after you fell unconscious, we found a peice of paper with our names, and pictures on it. Someone might have put a hit out on us. They knew they had to spend the night in the ship this time. They couldn't stay in a Liberty hotel after what they had done. William opened his eyes, and looked outside into the space. He got up and noticed how odd it was to sleep in space with no lights to wake him up every morning. It was like hard core jet lag. One planet could be summer, than you go to a different one that in winter. He went into the cockpit to see Jack drive normally while Mark began to drift off. Among all of this time he had never relized how much his friends helped him. He went back into his room and pulled out a picture of his only family he had left. His uncle, yet no one knew where he was. His parents, whenever they where home, told him stories about his uncle, who dissapeared after William was born. More and more time passed, too much for his comfort, he walked into the small area for storing personal items like food and water for the trip. He found Richard sleeping on the floor when he grabbed some food rations. He walked around the few rooms in the tiny ship which was smaller than it seemed. In about 4 hours he woke up again. He walked outside and saw everyone except Richard at the table with some coffee. "Finally, I thought we were going to die of old age." Mark said. William went over to the extra commodities he brought for the trip, and picked up some powdered coffee. "How can you drink this stuff?" He asked. "The same way you eat those food rations." Mark replied with a smirk. "Were almost in Bretonia." Jack said "Sorry for the long wait, it usually takes about three hours, but Mark over there got lost didn't you?" Mark looked around trying to drop the subject. "So, what are we going to do in Bretonia?" Patrick asked. But it was true, no one jnew where to start, or who to ask about the hit. And especially if they asked the wrong people, the could go to jail or get killed. "Why don't you look at the note again?" Sarah asked. William pulled out the note and looked at it again. There was some small lettering under their names which he could read out to be Sirus Sector Information Co. "It says here, this is from the Sirus Sector Information Corporation. I guess that's a small start. We can go in, ask if they gave information about us to some guy. Then we can find out who he was hopefully." "I never liked that Info corp, it seems like a good way for terrorists to target people." Jack headed for Leeds, where one of the info building was at. "So, were just gonna walk in there, demanding information about who has our file?" Mark asked. "Well, if people have info about us then by law they have to tell us who." William replied. "Well I don't think you've noticed lately, we just broke a friend out of a prison. How's that law for you. "Okay last tradelane to leeds." Jack said, trying to stop a chance of a fight. They were going along when the computer voice said the two most unwanted words in the history of flight, tradelane disfrupted!

very nice. keep em comming

ok heres a hint if you didn't know


One.theres the forum codes to your left underneath where it says username and password when posting.its got italics etc. if you didn't know.


Two.I was told this after starting my rpg and i found that many people joined in after i did this,use paragraphs! as someone told me 'it's a real bugger on the eyes to read'
so inn the future it would be nice if you could indent maybe even put a empty line inbetween parapraphs i always found that to help with making it easier to read.

otherwise excpet for those few things its a very good story.

Edited by - Dragonborn on 7/30/2004 6:27:40 AM

not that im trying to advartise, but i need some one to post a reply on my Captured fourm so i can put the next episode up. By the way, the Captured series is almost done

No problem with the comments, seriously. This is my first fanfic so I'm hoping people that have already made them will tell me what to change so I can have an excellent fanfic story next time I write one. So, please be harsh in your comments, as long as it's not anything like I suck. Make sure it's pointed at the story.

- -Chapter 4: One Fighter Too Many- -

The ship jolted out of the tradelane to find several Daggers around it. The Daggers opened fire on the Rhino Frieghter. "Crap!" William yelled. "Get to the turrets!" Mark, and Jennifer got into the two manually operated turrets, while the automatic ones opened fire. A javelin missle hit the side of the Rhino, dropping it's shields low. Jack fired the main guns of the Rhino every clean shot he had, but the ship was slow, and the daggers were quick enough to evade blasts. Suddenley, a dagger turned too sharp and crashed right into the Rhino. "Shields Failed." The computer said. "No really!?" Sarah yelled. Mark aimed carefully at one of the daggers coming in for a cleean shot. He fired the turret and the Dagger instantly went up in flames. With the shields still out, the Rhino began to take hull damage. Sparks flew everywhere, when another missle hit the Rhino. An explosian errupted and Mark was blown out of the turret. Red fire warning lights went up, and William ran to the turret trying to put out the flames. Mark groaned then fell unconscious. "Oh this is just great!" Patrick yelled as he tried to lock down loose equipment. Jack launched nanobots, but they could only repain main hull damage. Luckily, the shields were back up at the time. Jennifer fired blindly at the daggers, when one hit it's the Rhino's main engine. The Rhino was only moving by it's thrusters now, which were going to burn out soon. William looked at the tradelane, it was back up. "Jack Go! Head for the tradelane!" Jack moved towards it and entered the trade lane. "Report!" William yelled. "Okay, we got a turret destroyed, heavy hull damage, low on ammo, Mark needs medical attention, and we are in bad shape alltogether." The Rhino landed on Planet Leeds for repairs. "Hey also, offload this boron and sell it at the commodity trader please." William instructed a worker. After the money they got from the boron, William decided it was time for an escort. "I'll buy two Cavaliers." He told the ship dealer. William told Richard, and Sarah to pilot their new escort fighters. The other five were told to stay on the Rhino. Unfortunatley the Rhino needed to be repaired overnight due to the extensive damage. Everyone got a room, and started to talk in the lobby. "I still am trying to get this strait; we broke a friend out of prison, stole boron, and have a profesional hit on our heads. This is getting outta hands" Patrick said. "Well, what else our we supposed to do? Are were we going to let Richard rot in prison? Were we going to let the hit-men come and finish us off? I mean what did you expect?" Mark asked. "I expected this whole ordeal to be more organized than it is." "Well tommorow we are going down to that information place, and we are going to get some answers like who has our info." Alright, then I suggest we all get a good nights rest, especially after that battle." Everyone got up, and went to thier rooms, William still couldn't sleep though. He kept waking up, and thinking about all the trouble he put his friends through. Though after a while he began to drift off.


Coming soon: Chapter 5

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Author's Commentary: Sorry for the short chapter, I think I'm going ot take some time off of the story to think up more plot.



Edited by - Timster on 8/5/2004 9:16:01 AM

Nice story. Paragraphs are the way to go, though

I'm not sure how to make paragrahps, every time I speace before a paragraph, it moves the space back to the edge of the story.

Hmmm never did that with me just every time you want to start a new paragraph hit enter and then spacebar afew times that's what i always did and it never gave me any trouble.