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Peace in middle earth

This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.

Post Thu Feb 27, 2003 5:21 am

Peace in middle earth

MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the
streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what
they termed a rush to war with Mordor.

“We need more time for diplomacy,” said a key member of the Middle-Earth
Security Council, Saruman the White. “I am not convinced by the evidence
presented by my esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, or that the Dark Lord
Sauron presents an imminent danger to the peoples of the West.”

Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed with Saruman’s remarks.
“Sauron says he’s destroyed his Rings of Mass Destruction (RMD) and that’s
good enough for me,” said one fellow carrying a sign that said “Elrond is a
Balrog.” Another demonstrator urged, “Give the RMD inspectors more time.
There’s no reason to rush to any judgment just because Mount Doom is belching
lava, the Dark Tower is rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated.” A third
protester piped up, “I haven’t heard a single bit of convincing evidence
connecting the Nazgul with Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their
own initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides, it’s understandable
they’re angry with Gondor. We haven’t done nearly as much for the Orcs and
Goblins and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It’s understandable
they throw their support to them. It’s our own fault really.”

As the protesters continued their march through the city, they chanted, “No
blood for Mount Doom,” voicing a common sentiment that the leaders of the
Western peoples are really seeking to get their hands on the powerful Mount
Doom, where the One Ring of Power was allegedly forged.

Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment. A spokesman said he was in an
undisclosed underground location, which sources have revealed is codenamed:
Moria.


--------------------------------
Michael"TRAPPER"Needham
The Weak Shall Perish

...Yes sir thats right... just drop your cargo or I can open your hull with my twin plasma blasters, and take the cargo for myself.......Thank you, have nice flight.

zlo

Post Thu Feb 27, 2003 12:25 pm

Real nice! Guess this is an allusion to USA-Iraq situation. Good work, Trapper, ever tried your luck in writing for the press? Could be worth a shot.

There is no greater fear than running out of beer!

Post Thu Feb 27, 2003 2:16 pm

Not any real press, but satire sites. Try The Onion or The Specious Reports.

Post Thu Feb 27, 2003 9:48 pm

ROFLLMAO heh this is pretty funny, and its right on target

_____________________________
Peace through superior firepower.

Post Thu Feb 27, 2003 10:28 pm

well...technically...Gandalf had already fallen and come back from moria by the time Osgilliath was destroyed, so not totally spot on, but it'll do

Kyp

Guitar God at heart...something quite unsatisfyingly different in reality...

Edited by - kyp durron on 27-02-2003 22:38:34

Post Fri Feb 28, 2003 6:33 pm

I wouldn't be to critical of any errors in a middle earth press release, they didn't exactly have instantaneous communications. (they had the palantiri, of course, but not many people had access to those.)

Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!!

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