Good ole BBSpot. I think I'm going to start revisiting them

Very funny Eraser. What scares me though is that some of this stuff maybe true for some people.

I came. I saw. I conquered. And sometimes get conquered.

Get the current ones, willya?

LOL very funny
Didn't get all of them, maybe Im not such a geek as I thought.
Or Im just a stupid one

These perhaps ?

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18
You can't fake love, but you can probably fool your parents into thinking you have a real date this weekend.

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20
You'll spend a lot of in-and-out time this weekend, if you know what I mean. Yup, it's time to back up that 120 GB hard drive onto CD-ROMs again.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19
If loving you is wrong, then why did we get married again?

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20
You'll consider changing the Internet dating service you use, because it keeps setting you up with dogs, and that last golden retriever was down-right rude.

Gemini

May 21 - June 21
You will become a major object of attraction this week, unfortunately it's between the steel plate in your head and the giant electromagnet down at the junkyard.

Cancer

June 22 - July 22
You'll be relieved to discover that pregnancy tests aren't color coded like resistors, because for a minute there you thought two red stripes meant you were having 22 kids.

Leo

July 23 - Aug 22
You'll discover the person of your dreams this week, unfortunately it wasn't a good week for dreams.

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22
'Tis better to have loved on-line then to have lost all self-respect by going on Joe Millionaire.

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 23
You'll realize you're spending too much time at the computer when you start thinking the router and the cable modem are winking at each other a bit too much.

Scorpio

Oct 24 - Nov 21
You'll finally discover a way out of your bad relationship, unfortunately it will require jail time and three faked deaths.

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21
Flowers make a great Valentine's day present, of course if you had anybody to give them to, you wouldn't be reading your Geek Horoscope.

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19
Don't live each day like it's your last, because you'll never do any laundry, and there'll never be anything in your freezer.

More GEEK humor

Computer Industry Acronyms . . . and what they really mean!

PCMCIA => People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN => It Still Does Nothing
APPLE => Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM => I Blame Microsoft
DEC => Do Expect Cuts
CA => Constant Acquisitions
CD-ROM => Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 => Obsolete Soon, Too.
SCSI => System Can't See It
DOS => Defunct Operating System
BASIC => Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
WWW => World Wide Wait

If people bought cars like they buy computers

***********************************************************************************************
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

***********************************************************************************************
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "I see an 'E' but no 'F'."

HELPLINE: "You see the 'E' and just to the right is the 'F'.

CUSTOMER: "No, just to the right of the first 'E' is a 'V'.

HELPLINE: "A 'V'?!?"

CUSTOMER: "Yeah, there's a 'C', an 'H', the first 'E', then a 'V', followed by 'R', 'O', 'L', "E", "T".

HELPLINE: "No, no, no sir! That's the front of the car. When you sit behind the steering wheel, that's the panel I'm talking about."

CUSTOMER: "That steering wheel thingy--Is that the round thing that honks the horn?"

HELPLINE: "Yes, among other things."

CUSTOMER: "The needle's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

***********************************************************************************************
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't even start up!"

HELPLINE: "I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you misuse the product."

CUSTOMER: "Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission in 'D' and press the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what I did --now the damn thing's crashed."

HELPLINE: "Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating the car sir?"

CUSTOMER: "What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual said and it didn't work!"

HELPLINE: "Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't crash?"

CUSTOMER: "How do you do THAT?"

HELPLINE: "You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. The pedal next to the accelerator."

CUSTOMER: "Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read this manual you know."

HELPLINE: "Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast and won't crash anymore!"
***********************************************************************************************

When you put it that way, I realize that the whole IT industry has been treated very unfairly by us consumers

Very funny $hit, Eraser. LOL!

I trust astrology because only a fool wouldn't accept the fact that immense balls of flaming gas millions and millions of miles away control daily events in our lives.

I don't know what is more funny, the idea that a one sentence prediction applies to me and the other 500 million people on this planet that were born in the same month as me, or the fact that some people really pay attention to these predictions and think they will come true.

Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!!

I don't believe in horoscopes either, but they spice up life. Just like Santa, Valentine's Day. Besides they give me justification to be excused from many things

Well, the part that makes me dislike horoscopes (I read them though) is that they have general info like: This week you're going to meet an old friend. That happens almost every week!
But it's fun to read them anyways


"God bless this acid house!"
"I was near the scene of another crime at the time, officer."

LOL those are great keep them comming

Alright, some more.....

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19
The Linux community will not take kindly to your switch back to Windows. If the nasty e-mails aren't enough to clue you in then the penguin hooded geeks burning you in effigy on your front lawn will be a dead give away.

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18
We were supposed to tell you this last week but the ladies won't be impressed by your karaoke version of "Oh, what a night" at the New Year's Eve party.

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20
We'd advise not eating anything you didn't see cooked with your own eyes this week unless you're on that Saliva Diet.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19
You can blame a lot on the champagne but operating a Chinese prison work camp is not one of them.

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20
You're too sexy for this horoscope. Too sexy for this horoscope.

Gemini

May 21 - June 21
Horoscopes in odd numbered years have proven to be 23% more accurate than throwing darts down the toilet.

Cancer

June 22 - July 22
It's 2003 and still there are people who refer to 2000 as the new millennium. Your job is not done until that problem is corrected.

Leo

July 23 - Aug 22
As a CEO you're under mandate to cut costs and return to profitability. A Fortune 500 company probably needs more than 6 employees though, so you might want to come up with another plan.

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22
Follow your dream, but not too closely because if it stops really quick you might run into it.

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 23
Relating The Two Towers to 9/11 was clever the first time when Tolkien did it back in 1934. It's not funny any more. Stop it.

Scorpio

Oct 24 - Nov 21
It might be a bit disingenuous to describe your year end employee review as a emotion filled love-fest. The security guards were carrying you out of the building not giving you hugs.

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21
See that goofy guy over there? He's the one that's going to be authorizing an audit on you in the near future. Take whatever action you deem necessary.

Great stuff Eraser, the General Motors one is definately heading out into the office. Finally I have an acronymn to explain to the staff what they sound like when they ring me.