Ok I speed read through it, it was funny
Now back to the demo !!!

Try this prank, I fell for it once.

Do a screen capture of someone's desktop and then make it their wallpaper. Then minimize the toolbar and move all the icons into a corner. When they come back they'll try to do something and they won't be able to click on anything. They'll think the mouse is broken.

Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!!

I did this printscreentowallpaper thing coupla times. Пosh, you should've seen the look on those poor guys' faces. Believe, that was something to look at!
BTW, how come my sig is not visible, though I edited it in the Your Profile section (this is kinda another OT in an OT forum)

Because you forgot to check the "Check here to include your profile signature." box when posting. It's below where you type in your message.

This is my sodding sig:
What fools these mortals be.

LOL I must try the desk top thing we just got new PC's at work and every one is still a little nervous about them

Heh he, very funny Wiz

BTW, here's a nice memo you could write for the whole company about the use/misuse of coffee.

Make some coffee you lazy bastards!

I've come to the conclusion that there are two types of people in this world (this world being my office complex, and I suspect your office complex as well). There are those people who will make a pot of coffee, and then there's the rest of you lazy bastards.

I usually drink three cups of coffee a day. The urns we have here at work hold about six 10-ounce cups of coffee. There are three urns, one for regular and two for decaffeinated, which would probably be great if anyone drank it (besides the neurotic chick in billing. The one with the pseudo-beard). The thing is, every time I go to pour myself a cup of coffee, the two decaf pots are full, and the normal coffee pot has just enough coffee left in it to keep it from being a fire hazard.

Now, some of you are under the impression that I'm a bitter, unhappy person, with few social skills, and a traumatic history of childhood beatings. If you make that assumption you'd be right on the money, circle takes a square. However, I don't feel that it's below me to brew a pot of coffee. So I'll rummage through the kitchenette (it's more of a mini-kitchenette. A kitchenito for our Spanish-speaking readers) and spend the time it takes to brew a fresh pot.

It takes about 3 minutes for a full pot to brew, and this is where things get weird. You see, I am the only person I've ever seen at the coffee station aside from the bearded lady. However, when I return to pour myself a cup of coffee, the damned pot is damp with coffee residue but otherwise empty. So let me entertain a few theories here. Theory one: the bearded lady is taking out her anti-caffeine aggressions on the coffee and pouring the full pot into the nearby planter. Theory two: there's a wormhole above the pot but below the spout of the coffee machine that whisks the coffee away to some alternate dimension before it reaches the pot (like in episode 6 of season 3 of Babylon 5). Theory three: (Now stick with me on this one. It's a little crazy) the people I work with are so lazy that they can't be bothered to spend 58 seconds of their own life to brew a fresh pot. They'd rather wait till someone else does it and then pounce on it the moment the brewer is out of sight.

If I knew anything about the laws of thermo-dynamics (which I don't), I'd bet it actually takes more energy to *drink* a cup of coffee than it does to brew a pot of coffee. I truly believe that even dead people aren't as lazy as the people I work with (look at Strom Thurmond. The guys been dead for fifteen years and I'll bet he still makes his own coffee). I'm vexed by the fact that I have yet to catch anyone in the act of emptying the coffee pot. Not that I'd actually *say* anything to them, but I could silently curse their name from the safety of my cubicle.

So here's my plan. For the people reading this article that are the involuntary coffee makers among us, next time you brew coffee, use four or five bags of coffee grounds. See how many will fit in the filter before spilling over the side. The pot that you brew should be strong enough to take the paint off a Buick. People that make the mistake of drinking it should have to scrape the coffee off their tongues with a paperclip. Women should pass out, men should wail, and babies should cry when they drink your coffee (if you have coffee-drinking babies that work in your office). The coffee should be so foul that no one will ever trust anyone else to brew their coffee for the rest of their lives.

This sounds like a good scheme. The only flaw I see is that there might be retribution if it was known that you made the undrinkable coffee.

You could always build up an immunity to rat poison, then put it in the coffee when you make it. After about a week of this there won't be anyone left to drink the fresh coffee except for you.

Let's get those missiles ready to destroy the universe!!

Guys, you won't believe what I did! I randomly selected one of the nastiest porn sites and subscribed to it using my boss's address (I was kinda pissed off and mad at the whole world). So, during a smoking break she informed us that she started getting porn and complained (!) that it was mostly chix instead of guys!
Gosh, I was shocked! I meant it to be a nasty trick, and it came out to be nearly (good that only nearly) a favor! Damn! Any ideas on how I can make things worse?

There is no greater fear than running out of beer!

ROFL !!

Wow, you're in a tight spot there buddy

Hmmm....how can you make her life a living hell ? I'll get back to you on that, because I have to ask my wife about this

Looks like you got some wife, E . A good consultant is always handy at hard times

There is no greater fear than running out of beer!