..bizarre news story..

Wed Aug 02, 2006 11:17 am by Tawakalna Qubt-ut Allah

As those of you who've been here for a while know, the area of the UK in which Tawakalnistan is an isolated enclave is remarkable only for the parochial oddities that occassionally occur to liven up an otherwise dismal existence. You know, Robbie Wiilliam's mum's new bungalow, vanishing footballers, man bites dog, ram-raiding milk floats, mysterious holes that swallow up entire streets, exploding toilets, those sort of things.

Tonight the local rag leads with the headline "£45,000 worth of tinned salmon stolen.." On Monday someone broke into a refrigerated storage depot in the city centre and stole a container of Princes' Tinned Salmon (the pink stuff, not the tastier red) Apparently police spotted the vehicle used on CCTV but didn't apprehend it as they couldn't tell if anything fishy was going on (ok I made that part up)

Why would anyone want to steal tinned salmon? I mean, it's not exactly got much resale value on the open market has it? i can't see someone coming up to me on the sly saying "'ere mate, y'wanna buy some tinned salmon, cheap-like? nudge-nudge-wink-wink, say no more..."

Edited by - Tawakalna Qubt-ut Allah on 8/2/2006 12:19:16 PM

Wed Aug 02, 2006 11:28 am by topher

maybe the suspect in question has a destitute Grand mother that has a lot of cats to take care of... and he felt he needed to help her out this way. You know, one of those "seemed like a good idea at the time" things.

Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:21 pm by bakedpotato

Something smells fishy

Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:55 pm by H.Q. Victor

1. Someone loves salmon.
2. Black market sales hopeful.
3. for another country to eat.
4. Totally borde and wanted something to do.

Wed Aug 02, 2006 6:42 pm by Indy11

I smell Kayser Sose .... the alleged salmon tins contained something else, or at least one of them but no one knew which one .... so they had to take the lot and find someplace secluded to open each until the prize was found.

Look for or keep your nose up for the smell of rotting opened tins of salmon.

Edited by - Indy11 on 8/2/2006 7:43:11 PM

Wed Aug 02, 2006 11:46 pm by Tawakalna Qubt-ut Allah

hmmmm, the salmon theft coincides with our local Somerfield offering Princes' Tinned Salmon at 4 tins for a pound. That's equal to a whole Tawakalnistani dinar (the exchange rate is officially fixed at 1:1)

So I bought 5 dinars worth; you can't afford to miss a bargain like that!

Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:42 pm by arton alpha

i hope they have a big can opener (or at least industrial) they could have wanted to recycle the cans to, or maybe they just smoked the wrong plant or drank the wrong drink

anyway it's just more evidence in my ongoing investigation to to prove that humans as a race are circling the drain

*sends a care package of respirators*

Thu Aug 03, 2006 2:27 pm by druid

Animal Rights Activists trying to free the poor helpless captive fishies from the horrible capitalist captors?

Or maybe it's like those guys that fish but throw the catch back in, only these ones package them first?

Thu Aug 03, 2006 4:05 pm by richard s

mmmmmm salmon on a bagel with cream cheese

Edited by - richard w. sabatino on 8/3/2006 5:05:44 PM

Thu Aug 03, 2006 4:24 pm by H.Q. Victor

Salmon Patties loaded with chopped green Onion, fried in Olive Oil.

Thu Aug 03, 2006 6:04 pm by J Dawg

Ditto, Finalday. The only use for canned salmon. Here in Washington, we're spoiled with lots of fresh Pacific salmon (Atlantic Ocean doesnt even come close, sorry), so there's not much canned around.

Thu Aug 03, 2006 11:44 pm by Tawakalna Qubt-ut Allah

it's all about food with you FD isn't it?

(yes, I beat the Rabbit again. You'll have to silflay earlier, Flopsy!)

Fri Aug 04, 2006 4:32 am by zazie

@ Druid:

I had the same idea: PETA freeing poor captured animals and letting them go back to the wild.

Another, more "serious" explanation: some Gourmets all over the world like to store canned fish (and even stiffed goose liver - paté de foie gras) for years, far beyond the "best before..." date. As long as the can does not show any sign of 'swelling' you can keep it.
Why store canned fish ?
Sardines make a good example: during the storage process the fish-meat and the oil mix slowly, the taste get's more and more intense, the meat becomes smoother. My oldest sardine-cans I still have are 'hand-made' in a small shop of the Monterey wharf/California that I have bought 1993. You can call me an old f...ish then

Conclusion: there seem to be some gourmets in Britain. But as this is a contradictio in ipso my explanation cannot be true . QED

Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:20 am by druid

@zaz: You should be troubled to find yourself on the same wavelength as I however more importantly:

You can call me an old f...ish then

I could call you weirder things than that consiedering you just admitted to collecting old cans of fish.

How about a freaky old fashioned fish-fetishist (for best results say out-loud)

...naturally I am actually thinking worse but both the site rules and the auto censor forbid it.

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