Message from Mustantopian Minister of Long Voyagers

Dear Lord Bertram B. Hopwell II, High Sexual of Esquilaxitavia.

Hallo again my friends of Lords,

We invent great happiness that you and your Esquilaxitavian Chaveler are to be comfortable in glorious nation of Mustang. The pleasure is our joy to also welcomes Sir Jagged and all others who wish to make home our home. Everyone welcome! The villagers have slaughter 20 yak and making extra batches of fermented rodents milk in most humble honour of impending visitors!

We create worried noise when to hear you fear of our maybe consumption of rabbit proteins. Assured you might be that our cases are not filled with things of rabbit product. We protect the rabbit inside of borders and great laws of nation generate confident the people of Mustang only make the sex with the rabbit when Glorious Leader takes all the prostitute for his own.

Keep looking backward to visitation of Kingdom of Mustang!

Igor Nonivastok
Mustantopian Minister of Long Voyagers

Dear Mustang,

It was with the greatest of displeasure I read your refusal to assist in the opening ceremonies of latest venture into motion picture entertainment. All we asked was for you to provide a small but heartily entertaining piece of footage which we believed would appeal most readily to the patrons of this viewing hall. Do you not recall the tender for permissions and the contracts drawn out between Indy Corp and Swiss Dru Enterprises:

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The only clause is that the seating must be friendly to all. Modern establishments are of course designed with users of all mobility and ability in mind. All we require is an extra step toward this all inclusive access. Seating at the front row is to be closer to the ground, as getting up on the high seats usually requires quite a hop...erm, jump for my relatively smaller framed partner. A little hole in the back of the seat would not go astray either. Don't ask. Also more height between rows. They are small fellars but when visiting NooDworkia they like to wear rather tall hats you see, to cover their, thier, well for cover. You understand.

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No effort has been spared in accommodating the self same investor whom you call master and still you at this last hour of preparation reject our invite. One wonders what my financial backer in this particular little enterprise shall think of your steadfast stubborness in this matter?

END.

@Esquilax: Your acceptance of Swiss Dru Enterprises' tender for construction of the Mustanopian Stairway to Heaven is welcomed most joyously by all within our consortium. As experts in this field of cnstruction, having won awards for our design and innovative build techniques on the intricate gates and every lavish step of the now world famous Indy Corp Luxury Palace "Dante" and, and , the lesser famous but still note-worthy Birmingham City Ariport Multi-Storey Car-Park Fire Escape (Block C, Rear), we feel that this new creation shall give us overy opportunity to finally put Mustanopia on the map and you good sir into the history books, not to mention putting Swiss Dru Construcion (a subsidiary of Swiss Dru Enterprises, partner of Indy Corp Int, selling agent Swiss Dru Retail, financier Swiss Banking, LADA official vehicle to the Stairway to Heaven construction group, Druid Fluid official beverage) into a more comfortable long term financial position.

As per agreement all works carried out shall be financed by our group, materials supplied shall be to the highest quality abailable from the local Druidic scrap merchants whos' marketing slogans Finders Keepers and If it ain't nailed down can serve to reassure you of thier vast ability to source all that shall be required.

Upon completion of The Stairway Indy Corp marketing, the very same in-charge of the NooDworkian Cinema and Refreshments, Retail Outlet Towers , or CARROT shall take charge of the opening ceremony at which no doubt you shall be the guest of honour.

Of course, a small charge shall be applied for use of The Stairway in order to fund the upkeep and maintenance to its glorious standard well into the future. A levy (or toll if you will) of no more than Ten Esqualaxativian Dollars per journey seems more than fair. Naturally Mustanopian currency will be accepted at an agreed rate of say, 10,000,000 Must.D to the ExD?

Again, many thanks for this opportunity, looking forward to your continued success.

Swiss - Your assurances, promises and reference structures fill us with great confidence in relation to the forthcoming project. (Is the GC being sarcastic? Who knows? Ah yes, the language of diplomacy, "gotta luv it" ) Regarding your proposal, I must inform you that the Rabbit-King does not believe in tolls, however I have asked Lord Hopwil II to speak to the Grand Llama's representative in order to come to some sort of arrangement. Perhaps I can offer you 1,000 ducats, or 1,500 besants (whichever is higher) as a one-off payment for continuing maintenance. I await your reply.

Oh and you may wish to speak with Igor about the comestibles, because he has already organised catering and he probably wouldn't appreciate you "muscling in" on his "racket" .

Taw - Eh? No further poetical attacks? Are we done then? We can always switch to more traditional abuse? Yes? No? He ain't answerin'. *Snorffles sadly*

Edited by - esquilax on 11/14/2006 2:38:32 PM

Dear Esquilax,

Of course, the reason I inserted the brackets around the word "Toll" is that such a description is both rough and ad-hoc. The correct and propper description would be an "offering", a "token" if you will of appreciation made by the good travelling public of Mustanopia to their benevolent patron King Esqui. These "gestures of grattitude" would be limited in size so as to prevent over zealous locals "donating" too great a sum and leaving themselves with financial strain. Naturally, as with any such "sacrifice" made to a kind and loving leader one would expect it to be a regular "grace" in order to ensure the continued protection and favour of the King.

These "token offerings" shall be made payable to Swiss Bank Corp and held in trust on behalf of the Esquilaxativian government with the good Dr U Id as sole trustee. I am sure that such an everyday contract poses no quibbles from your side?

As for the refreshments? But of course, if the Stairway to Heaven Group desires a select and native platter of "paw-food" there is absolutely no problem what-so-ever with Indy Corp sub contracting the appetisers to a local company and thus actively support the Mustanopian economy.

Eagerly awaiting your reply.

Regards,

Dru.

THE DONKEYS TESTICLES
Only paper sold by glorious leader!

STAIRWAY TO HAVEN CONSTRACTION STARTS COMMENCING!
by Victor Nikalovastorcastractinosivic, 15 days of November, 2006 years ago

Today we see to come building work begin by Swizzy Drew Constraction Company and people of glorious nation of Mustang begin to make happy face at arrival of noisy building machines. Grand Llama makes speech to say he is happy that noisy truck arrive to push their exhaust pollutions into air. He says smoke may look bad but make for cleaner oxygens while they take away stink of yak dung. So be happy villagers of Mustang for glorious leader makes great nation happy place for all with Stairway to Haven!


Villagers enjoy ride on moving stair machine in other country

In other newses Glorious Leader changes his minds to attend cinema openings in NudeDwoorkia! Says that's what he meants all along and says executions of local poets for making of uncorrect poems. Looks forward to making the sex with the young starlets!

Edited by - Mustang on 11/14/2006 3:53:40 PM

Not so NudeDworkia Welcomes Grand Llama.




Having undergone a series of cosmetic surgeries, the Grand Llama has come to Noo Dworkia to get a taste of the hustle and bustle of hustled bustles.

Here we see him beaming as the welcoming committee give him a warm welcome.

Holy smokes! This thread is STILL going on?! Good grief. I don't think I've ever seen a thread go over a thousand before. Gotta be some kinda record.

Swiss - I have just been informed of your proposal. Once, I would have accepted the aforementioned tithes, however I cannot now accept them due to my position. I can however, accept (and indeed have arranged) regular payments from my loyal vassals. That's the way the system works you know. Hence, money will be coming in. The Bank of Esquilaxitavia is our nominated fund, and the Royal Accountants are currently looking into the feasibility of accepting your offer of holding the aforementioned funds in "trust". You will be conducted with the details if we decide to proceed.

Mee - Yo! Stick around and support Taw. He needs it . In any case, 1000+ posts is not a TLR record, as there was a thread that exceeded 250+ pages if my information is correct. The thread in question was created years ago, and has been archived so we can't check it out *sigh*.

@Esqui: My offices will be awaiting a response. Since we are confident of a satisfactory result the initial plans and logistics shall be put in place.

@Indy: Nice picture. Not having met the Grand Llama myself could you confirm which one he is? From previous descriptions of his behavour I guess he is the one with the foot long electircal appliance with the bulbous end in his hand?

no no, the Grand Llama is the cute brunette on the extreme right. I mean, the shameless harlot.

*Wabbit* my absence ain't been voluntary! I notice that the last few days have not seen the end of your bizarre penchant for pseudo-*rap* speak. "Yo?" Have you started wearing sports gear and lots of outrageous jewellery too? It's bad enough on humans, but on a rabbit? <shudders>

incidentally..

I return to find your crude verses cast sweeter,
But only by virtue copying my meter.
And my imagery also, those pure classic allusions,
But without the same skill; you're full of confusion!

Too literal by far is your scheme of rhyme
It's not just the words but the beating of time
Perhaps one day you'll develop the knack
But until then, Long Ears, you'll just be a hack!"



Edited by - Tawakalna on 11/15/2006 2:07:54 PM

Resistable force meets movable object
Literary critique,

Pen and ink substitutions for slings and arrows
No military mystique

Lagomorphic fraternization with rodent and camel
More ungodly physiques

Arms and armaments not sold in lack of
La carte plastique?

What next in this tale of woe?
What tribulations to be visited
Upon whom, though?
Cursed lapin who would be king
My earnings he would yield not a thing

Welcome Mustang, Lord of Mustantopia
Welcome indeed to all my emporia
Rest your weary soul in our venues luxurious
And sample our credit lines, none usurious
Welcome

Enjoy.

To IndyCorpses

From Igor Nonivastok Minister of Transmissions and Poems (recent promotions)


Many thanks be coming to corpses and you,
with the drinking of the cat fermented brew.
We make love in many ways with finance deal,
and all your indescretions, we most happy to conceal.

We liking to order stretch Lada with luxury seats,
that come with dirty harlot with the enormous teets.
Ones that bounce with most gravitational deisbelief,
So the Grand Llama can make with the hand relief.

Is it that the native NooDworkian hath chage'd the style of prose?
Pushed, nay forced!Indy?
Forced I say brute fashion yet artfully formed the letter to it's nobel limit?
Pray where the AB, AB, rhyming couplets my frontier friend?
You, with magnanamous snorffles do spit upon tradition.
I see the Musty welcome but the rhythm, contorted? Contorted!
Not that I most humble Dru doth dare to question such a fancy,
Yours is the greater wisdom, or, at least 'tis so I am told by elders.
Wisdom yet confirmed, like sunset, most likely but let us see.
But Taw may be a tougher nut to crack than I, as his determination
To hold on to the four line stanza onslought doth continue.
Continues true despite our errant wanderings into formats new,
Forging alliences in pen-pal fashion and what's more
We do so with such glee and mirth as to belie the situation, and,
And, the gravity with which it does descend upon us.
Surely close must be an end or we are truly lost?
Will blank verse be the catalyst thus required for such an end?
Or are our hearts, though mortal men, rabbits, llamas we may be,
Still pound harder than the finger on the keyboard
Which cries to "click" and yells the order "STOP!"

Good sir. My Helvetian Priest
Rhythmic rules matter not the least

Rigid meter shall push away from the feast
Words to sup at Apollo's table.

What matter the schemes of sound?
Words to stroke the ear abound.

Why shun them if they are not round?
For poetic purpose all are able.

To the Mullah I extend good will
His four line stanzas are welcome still

His mind a veritable wordsmith's mill
Many herds of poesy abide in his stables