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The truth of Tawakalnistan
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Alright, freighter, I think I've managed it but the translation is tenuous at best. This what I can get from it:
"I am halting this discussion* as you have been avenged"
*I changed it to accusative to make it fit
I'm kind of assuming I haven't missed any grammar but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
Edited by - The Evil Thing on 4/14/2005 11:21:19 AM
"I am halting this discussion* as you have been avenged"
*I changed it to accusative to make it fit
I'm kind of assuming I haven't missed any grammar but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
Edited by - The Evil Thing on 4/14/2005 11:21:19 AM
The truth about Tawakalnistan is that it wasn't at one time.
Ages ago, at the close of 2003, a madman who shall remain nameless seized power over a quiet hamlet in England known as North Staffordshire.
He imposed his will upon the locals and established a state in which he enforced a cult worship of his personality and in which all property became titled with the state and in turn, as the personal embodiment of the state, titled with this man, as dictator.
This new state was varyingly called the Peoples Democratic Republic of North Staffordshire or the Peoples Republic of North Staffordshire.
The charismatic qualities of this madman were not insignificant and he managed to dupe many capable men to do his bidding as members of his government and generals of his armed forces.
This madman looked to the east with an avaricious appetite for the riches and women of an ancient and decaying empire ruled by a jaded emperor who was more interested in satisfying his appetite for many different vices than to look after his minions.
The dictator saw his opportunity and, with the aid of very capable henchmen, waged war with that decadent empire.
Known as the Great Utopian War this conflict ended in the disintegration of the PDRNS, the desertion of the Dictator of his own holdings and, in turn, the desertion of the Dictator by his chief adjutants except for one loyal general who had been thoroughly deceived by his leader.
In the aftermath, as peace slowly brought a modicum of prosperity to the devastated lands, a man who covered his face with a number of tea towels arrived in the erstwhile PDRNS. A lit Irish cigarrette, known as Sweet Aftons, were never far from his lips... which was quite an accomplishment given the way in which the tea towels were arrayed about his head. He walked in alligator skinned thin-soled Bally shoes, but wore no socks, and he carried a mop handle as a staff. He preached to the long suffering people of the area and spread words of comfort and inspiration to a population that had been so abjectly defeated and beaten down.
Soon the inspirational quality of his words spread throughout the hamlet and the people flocked to hear him talk of things: The best value for candies (Morrison's); how not to mess up an XP installation; whether 'tis better to SP1 or SP2; who had the first releases and best of computer components (not to be disclosed here). The sage's advice on things were innumerable.
Quickly thence, the people thronged and strove to make him their spiritual and political leader. It was then that he revealed his name: Tawakalna.
....The rest is history.
Edited by - Indy11 on 4/15/2005 6:49:51 AM
Ages ago, at the close of 2003, a madman who shall remain nameless seized power over a quiet hamlet in England known as North Staffordshire.
He imposed his will upon the locals and established a state in which he enforced a cult worship of his personality and in which all property became titled with the state and in turn, as the personal embodiment of the state, titled with this man, as dictator.
This new state was varyingly called the Peoples Democratic Republic of North Staffordshire or the Peoples Republic of North Staffordshire.
The charismatic qualities of this madman were not insignificant and he managed to dupe many capable men to do his bidding as members of his government and generals of his armed forces.
This madman looked to the east with an avaricious appetite for the riches and women of an ancient and decaying empire ruled by a jaded emperor who was more interested in satisfying his appetite for many different vices than to look after his minions.
The dictator saw his opportunity and, with the aid of very capable henchmen, waged war with that decadent empire.
Known as the Great Utopian War this conflict ended in the disintegration of the PDRNS, the desertion of the Dictator of his own holdings and, in turn, the desertion of the Dictator by his chief adjutants except for one loyal general who had been thoroughly deceived by his leader.
In the aftermath, as peace slowly brought a modicum of prosperity to the devastated lands, a man who covered his face with a number of tea towels arrived in the erstwhile PDRNS. A lit Irish cigarrette, known as Sweet Aftons, were never far from his lips... which was quite an accomplishment given the way in which the tea towels were arrayed about his head. He walked in alligator skinned thin-soled Bally shoes, but wore no socks, and he carried a mop handle as a staff. He preached to the long suffering people of the area and spread words of comfort and inspiration to a population that had been so abjectly defeated and beaten down.
Soon the inspirational quality of his words spread throughout the hamlet and the people flocked to hear him talk of things: The best value for candies (Morrison's); how not to mess up an XP installation; whether 'tis better to SP1 or SP2; who had the first releases and best of computer components (not to be disclosed here). The sage's advice on things were innumerable.
Quickly thence, the people thronged and strove to make him their spiritual and political leader. It was then that he revealed his name: Tawakalna.
....The rest is history.
Edited by - Indy11 on 4/15/2005 6:49:51 AM
"he managed to dupe many capable men to do his bidding as members of his government"
yes well you were *duped* were you? does that mean you weren't capable then?
the above revisionism is a disgraceful distortion of history padded out with supposition and downright fabrication for the sole purpose of denigrating the people of Tawakalnistan and their pious and righteous leader. note where this catalogue of calumny originates from? the Dook of New Dworkia, the blood-sucking capitalist enemy himself. All this of course to pursue several interdependent aims; to destroy or hamper the establishment of a revolutionary Islamic state in lands of Tawakalnistan, to sully the good name of the Grand Mullah (me) and damage his (my) reputation at home and abroad, to seize the natural resources of Tawakalnistan for his own purposes and avenge preceived slights in the past, and also to project Noo Dworkian values and institutions into societies where they have no place.
Not least, to gloss over his own involvement in said *hated* regime where as Minister of the Interior, Deputy Leader and Head of the State Security Commisssion, he was able to undertake many acts of personal enrichment and aggrandisement and institute a reign of terror; much of this was hidden from me and when I discovered his treachery and cruelty and took measures to deal with him, he betrayed our country and invited the enemies of our people and way of life in rto save his own skin and reap rich rewards from his betrayal. Note that this was not universally poular, both the military and the people remained loyal, but under the influence of Noo-dworkian/Mustantopian hallucinogenic drugs I was unable to conduct a proper defence. hence forth i was rescued by the people themselves who retained their trust in me as the best and only way to recover our national soverignty, and sheltered me until i was ready to lead our brave forces once again, now transformed from brave citizen militias into Fedayeen of Tawakalna.
Whilst unwillingly in hiding from the murderous death squads and brutish allies of the Noo Dworkians and Mustantopia and other crappy countries, some of which ended up on the far side of the Moon, and some of which mysteriously managed to get a million spaceships that actually didnt do anything, God visted upon me revelation and showed me the means by which Tawakalnistan could be liberated and the foreign invaders driven out. Embarking upon a jihad agaisnt the enemy, Tawakalnistan was soon freed from the oppressive enemy yoke as the people rose up in one to welcome the return of their beloved leader and recieve the blessings of the Word of Allah, which was already much in accord with their own honest and dutiful piety.
The people stand shoulder to shoulder with their Mullah, Dook; all your flying people in tights and mutants and petty mobsters and mobile phones and atms and wi-fi and other hated Western trappings of materialism give us no cause for fear, we will drive you out as we've done so many times in the past.
btw the correct name is the Islamic Peoples Republic of Tawakalnistan, and you can find it on any decent map, although it's existence is conveniently omitted from most maps in circulation. the historical capital is Wahlstantahnabad, and the as yet ill-defined frontiers strech from Al-Shahbariyah in the west to Al-Darbiyah in the east, and from Kahngahltahn in the north to Wahlvahamtahn in the south. Sadly, some regions remain under the influence of foreign reactionary elements, so an ongoing process of re-Tawakalnisation makes some regions *difficult* for foreigners to visit.
"He preached to the long suffering people of the area and spread words of comfort and inspiration to a population that had been so abjectly defeated and beaten down.... Soon the inspirational quality of his words spread throughout the hamlet and the people flocked to hear him talk of things.... The sage's advice on things were innumerable. Quickly thence, the people thronged and strove to make him their spiritual and political leader" = ooo it brings a tear to my eye, it's no wonder you made if only for a short while a halfway decent sidecick erm Minister of the Interior. if it wasnt for your disgraceful crimes and complete inability to agree without question on everything I spout off about erm give wise and thoughtful rulings on, I'd be tempted to offer you some minor post as Permanent Under-Secretary for Going to the Shops for a Paper or some other position equal to your many talents
edit: he who edits last, edits last.
Edited by - Tawakalna Al-Fedayeen on 4/15/2005 3:34:04 PM
yes well you were *duped* were you? does that mean you weren't capable then?
the above revisionism is a disgraceful distortion of history padded out with supposition and downright fabrication for the sole purpose of denigrating the people of Tawakalnistan and their pious and righteous leader. note where this catalogue of calumny originates from? the Dook of New Dworkia, the blood-sucking capitalist enemy himself. All this of course to pursue several interdependent aims; to destroy or hamper the establishment of a revolutionary Islamic state in lands of Tawakalnistan, to sully the good name of the Grand Mullah (me) and damage his (my) reputation at home and abroad, to seize the natural resources of Tawakalnistan for his own purposes and avenge preceived slights in the past, and also to project Noo Dworkian values and institutions into societies where they have no place.
Not least, to gloss over his own involvement in said *hated* regime where as Minister of the Interior, Deputy Leader and Head of the State Security Commisssion, he was able to undertake many acts of personal enrichment and aggrandisement and institute a reign of terror; much of this was hidden from me and when I discovered his treachery and cruelty and took measures to deal with him, he betrayed our country and invited the enemies of our people and way of life in rto save his own skin and reap rich rewards from his betrayal. Note that this was not universally poular, both the military and the people remained loyal, but under the influence of Noo-dworkian/Mustantopian hallucinogenic drugs I was unable to conduct a proper defence. hence forth i was rescued by the people themselves who retained their trust in me as the best and only way to recover our national soverignty, and sheltered me until i was ready to lead our brave forces once again, now transformed from brave citizen militias into Fedayeen of Tawakalna.
Whilst unwillingly in hiding from the murderous death squads and brutish allies of the Noo Dworkians and Mustantopia and other crappy countries, some of which ended up on the far side of the Moon, and some of which mysteriously managed to get a million spaceships that actually didnt do anything, God visted upon me revelation and showed me the means by which Tawakalnistan could be liberated and the foreign invaders driven out. Embarking upon a jihad agaisnt the enemy, Tawakalnistan was soon freed from the oppressive enemy yoke as the people rose up in one to welcome the return of their beloved leader and recieve the blessings of the Word of Allah, which was already much in accord with their own honest and dutiful piety.
The people stand shoulder to shoulder with their Mullah, Dook; all your flying people in tights and mutants and petty mobsters and mobile phones and atms and wi-fi and other hated Western trappings of materialism give us no cause for fear, we will drive you out as we've done so many times in the past.
btw the correct name is the Islamic Peoples Republic of Tawakalnistan, and you can find it on any decent map, although it's existence is conveniently omitted from most maps in circulation. the historical capital is Wahlstantahnabad, and the as yet ill-defined frontiers strech from Al-Shahbariyah in the west to Al-Darbiyah in the east, and from Kahngahltahn in the north to Wahlvahamtahn in the south. Sadly, some regions remain under the influence of foreign reactionary elements, so an ongoing process of re-Tawakalnisation makes some regions *difficult* for foreigners to visit.
"He preached to the long suffering people of the area and spread words of comfort and inspiration to a population that had been so abjectly defeated and beaten down.... Soon the inspirational quality of his words spread throughout the hamlet and the people flocked to hear him talk of things.... The sage's advice on things were innumerable. Quickly thence, the people thronged and strove to make him their spiritual and political leader" = ooo it brings a tear to my eye, it's no wonder you made if only for a short while a halfway decent sidecick erm Minister of the Interior. if it wasnt for your disgraceful crimes and complete inability to agree without question on everything I spout off about erm give wise and thoughtful rulings on, I'd be tempted to offer you some minor post as Permanent Under-Secretary for Going to the Shops for a Paper or some other position equal to your many talents
edit: he who edits last, edits last.
Edited by - Tawakalna Al-Fedayeen on 4/15/2005 3:34:04 PM
67 posts
• Page 3 of 5 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5