Ok, lets make some sense of this story first of all for all of us common folk.

You are best friends with Person A, A has friend Person B who is going out with Person C. C actually has a boyfriend Person D and does not tell C. D is going to go beat up B and A is compelled to help him out. Since A is your best friend you feel that you yourself should get involved in this.

Simply put,
A friends with B, B dates C, C already dating D, D is gonna beat up B, A will help B

Now that thats done, my best advice to you and your best friend is to stay out of this mess. It sounds like all of the blame on this one lays on "Person B's" girlfriend. I would advise your friend to talk to her and get things straightened out.
There is no need for violence, except for maybe a good kick in the girls but.

Edited by - Matt8705 on 12/7/2004 7:51:34 PM

I feel the same way. The fault lies with the girl who failed to tell your friend's friend that she was already involved. So the problem isn't with the b/f and your friend's friend.

However, I can see that this is probably one of those situations where violece will be unavoidable.

If you want my honest opinion, I would say stay out of it completely. If you don't like the person your friend is going to try to defend are you willing to get into trouble, legal or personal, for someone you don't like?

I am completely for being there for your friends and helping them when they need it, but I don't think this is a matter you'd want to get involved in.

Matt, thanks for making it clear !

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However, I can see that this is probably one of those situations where violece will be unavoidable.

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Violence is never the solution (except in some games ) . It should not be too difficult to manage the situation.
1. If your best friend REALLY is your best friend he would not want you to be inflicted in a story without any direct concern for you. Friendship does not mean brainless slavery.
2. If you disagree with above 1. then you should try to find an approriate solution. Play an active role - and you can do that because you are not part of the problem.

Of course I can't tell you THE solution because I don't know the details. But as a hint:
- Invite everybody to a 'round-table-discussion' . As host you make the rules: no violence. You and your b/f are neutral and can moderate.
- Talk to the girl's best friends (= girls). Women have a straight way to discuss between them problems like the one here. And the girl's girlfriends will make her clear in what difficulties she has brought a whole lot of other people.

OK there is a
3. Sometimes young males just WANT to fight to prove themselves and to prove to the females that they are able to protect. Normally this kind of behaviour can be observed at all kind of animals - but as we know the species of homo sapiens belongs to mammals too


I don't care a beep beep about my rank

i've gotta split and did'nt have too much time to read the responses. just about made sense as to who's fightin' who. if this makes it to the movies they'll have to tweak the plot a little

stay out of it full stop. if 2 guys want fo fight over a girl, very civilised, leave 'em to it. ultimately fighting won't change the feelings of those involved and that's what will really settle the outcome. next week they will probably split up anyway and move on while you are still licking your wounds.

also watch your back. if she is anywhere near the fight you might be surprised when her true allegience is shown when she starts to knock the head off you...no nice

if you want to fight someone take yourself to a server an' blast some blast some nomad butt

"My sig is in the post but the man in the shop promised I will find it witty and topical when it arrives."

The boyfriend needs to settle a score. Stay out of it. Ganging on him would not exactly be fair, especially since he's the "victim" here. I'd be pissed off too if someone tried to steal my gf. But IMO no girl is worth fighting over. She screws around, leave her.

This is all good advice here.

I think everyone needs to spread the facts around.

The girl is a whore and every one of her friends and acquaintances needs to know it so she is totally ostracized from society and is forced to go it alone in the world.

Everyone sleeping with her is showing bad taste and inabliity to control themselves.

Violence is no way to solve this problem. This advice comes from someone who believes that violence is amost always the best course of action.

It appears to me that, using her body, she has set up a situation where she can watch two guys fight over her and get a big ego boost. She will then soothe her real boyfriend's wounds and they will have great you know what afterwards if he is the total idiot I think he is.

And all the guys involved are falling right into her trap.

I'd suggest all the guys get together and tell demeaning stories about her and laugh at her, then treat her uncharitably in public from now on.

Let male bonding take care of this. If any of the guys involved does not want to do this, they are too stupid to concern yourself with.

Just walk away.

Glock36
"No Comment"

i quite agree with matt here. its the girls' fault for failing to tell her bf in the first place.

if you really wanted to sort the problem out, just talk to the girl. if the girl is actually serious about her relationship with her present bf. let her talk it out with her bf. if she wants to see testosterone flowing, then stay out of the whole mess.

yup, the bf is the victim here. try talk your best friend out of helping the dude that decided to go 'steal'. if the dude respects the relationship the girl has with her present bf, he might have the sense to back off. if not, and if i could, im going to get my ass to whereever you are and take the bf's side. i've been, still am, in a position like his, remember?

to quote:

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A sword is an instrument of War and Death, to use it wrong is to commit murder, You must win without unsheathing your sword

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A Coke in a glass to the man who can find out where this quote is from, but anyway, referring to the above quote, using Violence is never an answer to any problem, I can understand the guys emotions, I mean, what would you do, if someone you knew from somewhere at least lay around getting a bit of rumpy-pumpy with your g/f, but anyway, main thing, talk that guy back to senses, get him to see that his reacton is perfectly natural, but isn't the wisest thing to do, calm him down (that is, the guy that wanted to beat someone up) give him a soda or something like that, on no account must you use Alcohol, it could only aggrevate the whole situation, when he is calmed down, talk about how the heck he got into this mess in the first place, and review his perspective on the matter with your own perspectives, THEN you can draw conclusions.

My albeit somewhat premature conclusion would be that the female in question had four guys on a leash and put them up against eachother, thats what I understand of it.

and Please be mindfull, although a conclusion, it is on no accounts correct, or any other wise coherent, it is my conclusion of the situation you described

Everyone covets, in other words they sometimes desire what they see.

I'm sure that most of us have been through it at least once when they go through the heartbreak of loosing someone or something such as a pet that they love.

It hurts and sometimes hurts like hell but in any case violence isn't going to help.
Fact is that it will just make things worse, it always does.

If things work out between the two fine, if not eventually they will get over it, maybe not completely sometimes you never get completely over it but the pain will slowly subside and you move on.

Most people if not all, unless you're totally ruthless, have lost someone or something and have gone through the mental anguish. Sometimes you go through it many times in your lifetime. It's unfortunate but it's part of being human.

In any case you should try to avoid getting involved. Hopefully if your friend is really your friend they should understand. The best thing to do is try to take their mind off the situation.

Alright guys, thanks for the advice. I'll try to avoid a fight at all costs.

Don't just try....avoid the fight.

Glock36
"No Comment"

Crap, it may be too late. My friends stupid a$* friend said he could take the guy that wants to fight him. Now I am trying to convince my friend not to help this guy, but he says he still is and I don't want my friend to go thier alone. Now I'm just hoping no one gets hurt.

You could always try third-pary mediation, however it can be a little risky for the mediator .

lose your friend quickly

Glock36
"No Comment"