Old style rules of conduct would be if the woman is not formally engaged to be married, she is fair game. But he needs to approach her openly as opposed to in secret.

If the would be suitor is best friends with the woman's current boy friend, then there are rules of friendship between the men that need to be honored but you are saying that they are not friends.

Is this a relatively small community? I mean does everyone end up knowing everyone else? Because then would be suitor has his community reputation to think about as well. If he would be seen as some kind of dirty dan for stealing someone else's girl, he has to decide if he can live with that.

<Edit>

And, of course, there is no guaranty mentioned by you of whether his gambit would succeed in the first place.

Edited by - Indy11 on 9/15/2004 1:03:53 PM

oh jeez not this again

erm, if 1 doesnt want to steal 2 away from 3 then hes either gonna have
to wait till thet break up or go find someone else.

i've had to do the go find someonelse bit a few times now lol

the two blokes should fight to the death in a pit of combat, no quarter given. or they could go to a barren alien planet and manufacture weapons from what they could find there. at least one of them should rip his shirt open. that'll get the girl every time.

is either one of them going through the pon'farr?

Indy! how do you read? I already said that they are not good friends(the two guys)
Community is small yes
but they live in different towns
but his group of friends knows the bf so it wouldnt be cool it things went akward

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OK, I got this friend, lets call him 1, he likes this girl, 2, but she has a bf, 3,
Now 1 really likes 2, but he is not in favour of stealing her away from 3 , some advice on what to do would be nice
1 and 2 are friends btw and 1 knows 3 but not very well

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I'm confused!

What about the girl, "2"? Who does she like more? If she's not interested in 1, or if she's tired of/finished with her relationship with 3 then the point is moot (hehehe, I love that word). Ultimately the outcome hinges on who she wants to be with. If 2 is conflicted then it it is essentially a contest. Person 3 can't really get mad if person 1 wins as it could very well be his fault that the situation has come to this (he's not paying enough attention to his girl, as it were).

@sw,

I read pretty well. I acknowledged that you said they were not friends. I just mentioned the friends issue just in case it needed saying.



<Edit>

It's up to the guy to make the move, normally. Even in my more "liberated" community. So he has to weigh the consequences of his actions if the community is as small as you say... the gossip, the rumor, the reputation, etc.

Edited by - Indy11 on 9/15/2004 1:57:04 PM

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the two blokes should fight to the death in a pit of combat, no quarter given. or they could go to a barren alien planet and manufacture weapons from what they could find there. at least one of them should rip his shirt open. that'll get the girl every time.

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I'm afraid I'll have to second this motion...Kirk-like strategies are sure to succeed.



Merc for hire...but only if you can afford it.

I would strongly advise "1" NOT to make a move. If she doesn't feel the same way it will only end in tears.

As a neutral party sw you could always find out if the feeling is mutual. If it is and things aren't serious with her bf (which it probably wouldn't be if this is the case) then all is fair in love and war and at the end of the day, he shouldn't feel presurized into not doing something by his peers.

But i strongly urge him not to do anything if YOU know she doesn't feel the same way.

Its a horrible situation you friend finds himself in.

I had a friend that was a '1' once, and he stole two from three (and they were best friends). He got odd looks for a while but all turned out fine in the end. However, Taw's star trek obsessive personality has provided us with the best option. An omnipotent alien race kidnaps both of them to do battle on a barren planet. Mr Spock helps the winning party build a cannon out of bamboo and diamonds. There is some shirt tearing. Even if nothing works out, you could film it, produce a horrible reality tv show, and capitalize on the problems of your friends (if you're in the USA that is...)

I've been 1 once and all I can say is: don't make a move! I didn't, and I'm happy about it! Don't interfere with a couple when they're happy together!

1 should date 2 and drop hints to 3 until 3 spots a rude text message from 1 to 2 and blows up the friendship between 1 and 3 until 1 comes home drunk and consoles 3 by watchign him play final fantasy 10 for 3 hours. two weeks later, 3 catches 1 talking to 2 on MSN at four in the morning and blows up again and raises suspicions with 1 that 2 is not right in the head and is playing 1 and 3 against each other.

if all else fails you could try voodoo.