Sun Aug 08, 2004 2:24 am by sycho warrior
This is a tale to set historical records straight, for years people have been told the tales of MacGyver and his faithful sidekick Pete. MacGyver is known as the guy who always has a bright plan and who can always get out of trouble. Few people know that these ideas are not actually his own. In truth he is a coward, the real genius behind all the bright plans and spectacular escapes, is the relatively unknown sidekick Pete.
I’ll tell you about time they visited Egypt. The day started with Mac and Pete deciding that they want to explore some of the ancient tombs in Egypt. Their guide was a man by the name Michael, he had a large black beard and a friendly face. Strangely enough he was wearing a long robe and had a staff in his hand. “Good morning gentlemen, welcome to the tomb ride. We will be travelling through the underground tombs by bicycles” He stopped talking when Pete raised a hand “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t travel with bicycles, Mac has Cyclophobia” Michael smiled “No problem and please call me Michael”
“We will find a way to travel into the tombs, there we will explore the maze, eventually coming into a huge underground cavern where we will have dinner” He was stopped again by Pete who leaned over and whispered in his ear “Pleas do not call it dinner, Mac has Deipnophobia” Michael frowned a bit this time, things were getting weirder by the minute. “Eh sure, anyway, we will overnight there” Again he was stopped by Pete “Just so you know, I have Arachnephobia” Michaels’ shoulders sagged and he mumbled “When this is over I’ll have Anglophobia” He looked up “Ok, lets just get going, before I cancel the trip”
And so they start travelling into the tombs, walking, Michael in front, Mac, who was yet to say a word, in the middle and Pete at the back.. They walked the whole day long, seeing many strange and wonderful things. At last they came the underground cave, it was truly huge, 10km long and 5 km wide. They were tired, so they just sat down at the entrance, starting to eat their dinner, or “Last course” as Michael delicately put it.
They were all lying in their sleeping bags staring at their fire, when some giant moths started fluttering around. With lightning speed, Mac was out of his sleeping bag and running away. “What is it this time” Michael called out discouraged. “Pete also jumped out of his sleeping bag “Mottephobia, c’mon we got to find him”
They started running after Mac, they couldn’t see him, but they followed the noise. After a while they found him lying on the ground panting, he couldn’t run anymore. They all sat there and suddenly they heard the sound of voices. “Are you ready? We only have 4 hours left, then we got to blow this place and help the others take over the town” They looked at each other, eyes wide, someone was planning to take over the town and blow up the tombs.
Pete crawled forward so he could see who was speaking, a couple of men were standing there, looking at a heap of explosives, behind them was a huge stock of Vodka. Just then the men started speaking again “Are you sure no one will see the tents?
“No, they are the same colour as the desert sand and besides, no-one will go looking for tents in the desert.”
Pete turned back to Michael and Mac, “It seems like we have some terrorists to stop, Mac you remember the time we were up against the guys in Antarctica?” Mac’s eyes widened “You mean when you used paperclips, a dustbin, some string and duct tape to make a nuclear bomb?” Pete smiled,; “You got it”
Michael looked startled “You cant make a nuclear bomb from that, and even if you could, you can’t set it of in here, you’ll destroy Egypt’s whole infrastructure.”
Pete looked at him with contempt, we just don’t use the dustbin, then its not nuclear anymore, but I’ve got a better idea in anyway, we lure them here, you and me grabs them and then Mac can duct tape them, lets go”
Five minutes later the men are tied up, or rather duct-taped up and our three heroes are in a deep conversation. They got to stop the invaders, but they can’t get out of the tombs quick enough by foot. Suddenly Michael sees something and gets an idea “There! They have micro lights, we can fly pout with those and use their own explosives to blow them sky high!”
Pete looks at Michael approvingly, good idea, but the explosives will be no good, we don’t know hoe reliable they are”
Michael thinks a bit further, then his eyes fall on the stack of vodka “I know, we make some Molotov cocktails and give them a drink”
Pete looks at the vodka and then at Michael “What! You want to waste free liquor, are you craze?”
“What else do you want to do” Michael is getting clearly irritated with all Pete’s excuses.
At the sight of Michaels frown, Pte grudgingly relents “Ok Ok we can do it, but we’ll have to use you’re garb for lighters”
Michael doesn’t even bat an eyelid at the words, he’s just too glad to get going. Within minutes everything is prepared and each are sitting on a micro light with a stock of cocktails. Pete looks mockingly at Michael “make sure your beard doesn't get caught in the prop!”
At this word Michael only shakes his head and launches(???) Soon they are flying over the desert, as soon as they spot the tents, they start lighting thw coctails, dropping them on the tents.
Pete is elated “yeeeehaaa time to take over the world!”
30 minutes later they have landed and are surrounded by the press and police, everyone runs to Mac, asking questions, completely ignoring Pete and Michael “What was it like saving the town?”
“Where do you get these great ideas?”
Michael and Pete looks onto this, then Michael turns to Pete “What did you mean when you shouted ‘Time to take over the world’?”
Pete looks down and up again “Oh it’s just and expression, but those micro lights did give me an idea for something I’ve been planning for a long time now” He smiles furtively and walks off leaving Michael standing flabbergasted.
