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"Infiltration"

This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.

Post Mon Jun 14, 2004 11:51 am

"Infiltration"

Ok, here's something i wrote.

"INFILTRATION"

Prologue

A dropship dispatched from the cruiser.
The blue flames pushed the ship forward rapidly and it headed towards a nearby planet, known by it’s natives as the Sarhi. Not much to look at. It was mostly rocks, but they hid bases and facilities. Four escorting ships roamed out of the hangar.
“This is Liberator 1. What are your status?”, the pilot of the first escort ship hailed the dropship.
“Fine.”
“Roger.”
The Liberators took place on the sides of the dropship. They approached the planet. Two of the escorting warships disappeared. Cloaked.

Inside the dropship, forty men were sitting. Each staring at the man sitting on the other side. They stared, but didn’t see each other. They all wore armour, plates hiding their bodies.
“My gentlemen, Liberator 3 and 2 has cloaked. Prepare for drop,” the co-pilot of the ship said.
The lieutenant of the group raised.
“Lets gear up.”
“Sir, yes sir!” came the acknowledgement from the soldiers.
They all raised and pressed a red button they had on the left arm. Two wings came out of a jetpack. Also a engine. Little, but effective. They would glide with the wings three kilometres, and they were also for steering.
“Prepare for drop in 10,” the co-pilot said, “1009... 1008... 1007...”
He kept going on until 1000. Then the floor opened and the soldiers turned on their jet pack-engines.

Give constructive criticism, but no flames, please. Thank you, and enjoy!




Edited by - Chips on 6/14/2004 1:45:20 PM

Edited by - Orillion.net on 6/15/2004 5:02:32 AM

Post Mon Jun 14, 2004 12:47 pm

Dam your sig image hurts my eyes.......so bright!

This part:

Prepare for drop in 10,” the co-pilot said, “1009... 1008... 1007...”
He kept going on until zero


So he says prepare to drop in ten, but then counts down from one thousand and nine to 0? That is some long countdown....

Post Mon Jun 14, 2004 2:16 pm

yeah, that got me too. The rest (except that darn signature) is good
Btw, Orillion, did you get my e-mail I send you on Cardy.net?

-----------
Celbrating one year of Daftness

Post Tue Jun 15, 2004 4:02 am

Thanks

I didn't realise, but of course, it's wrong. from 1009 to 0?

@Nickless: no, i didn't... is it a PM on cardamine.net?

Edited by - Orillion.net on 6/15/2004 5:02:50 AM

Post Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:07 pm

i thought it was good (the sig i've seen worse)

Post Wed Jun 16, 2004 2:48 am

Ooooh, my poor retinas, they've been burned! It's not good to see something like that when you've been up all night. Reminds me of when I stare into the sun.

Post Mon Jun 21, 2004 5:50 pm

Shrink the sig please! Thank You!

argh i'm never gonna get paid, Goodbye a million credits

Post Mon Jun 21, 2004 9:38 pm

i guess its got good potential. cept for the siggy that is.

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