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Fanfic Contest

This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.

Post Mon May 17, 2004 12:23 am

in the first version there was, but it didn't work, I'm afraid. There was preface in which Kai-Ping-Fu journeyed to the Great Leader's capital by caravan, you were in that as one of his travelling companions, but as no one had a language in common but communicated by symbols and signs, I scrapped it - it would have meant several more paragraphs to bring Kai-Ping-Fu to a point where he could communicate verbally with the Great Leader.

every day is like Sunday, every day is silent and grey..

Post Mon May 17, 2004 5:27 am

A placid cheetah Hmmm. Well, a cheetah is sort of sexy. I might have preferred some kind of trophy woman on the arm but I guess a cheetah could do in a pinch.

Edited by - Indy11 on 5/17/2004 7:43:13 AM

Post Mon May 17, 2004 6:56 am

nicely written taw...your descriptions were captivating.

Post Mon May 17, 2004 7:08 am

Great story. Bit short though, but it's the best (only- as Neo cheated )entry yet.

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Post Mon May 17, 2004 8:35 am

*Eyes bulge, jaw drops, shock imminent*
I'm gone for One weekend and Nobody could keep on topic?!?!?!?!
Ugh.

I was thinking something more like this...

Indiana Wolfy and the Temple of Spam

The thick jungle vines parted as Wolfy pushed through towards the abandoned temple. Stopping at the entrance and studying it carefully he checks for traps and finds none. He then stoops over and fills a bag with sand from the ground nearby. Entering carefully he grabs him assistant mgari and pulls him in after. Coming to a floor with odd indentations he stops mgari and says, "Dont step on the red blocks." Working his way carefully across he looks up and sees his destination ahead. It is the Altar to Spamonia the Annoying. "Hmm, that statue looks like that guy I met a while back. His name was Tawkalne, Tawora, Tawakalna, something like that...." His assistant stops and waits for Wolfy to move on, unnoticing. Wolfy reaches the Altar and checks it carefully. He then takes out the bag of sand and empties it to about the same weight as the enticing statue with the can base. Quickly, he switches the two and when nothing seems to happen, he stand and turn away. Behind him the bag and pedestal drop into the floor with a thud and a loud grinding noise begins. "Oh, Crud" he thinks. He reaches the bottom of the altar steps and stops, blocked by mgari who holds out his hand and says, "I won't let you by unless you hand me the statue!" Looking disgusted but calm, Wolfy hands it over. Mgari begins running toward the entrance, laughing evilly. A very short while later (the temple is falling apart after all) Wolfy follows. When the entrance appears Wolfy notices mgari a few feet away from it, looking very dead. "You were warned" is Wolfy's only comment as he grabs the statue and jumps out the entrance. With a loud crash, the hole behind him seals. Wolfy walks a while then sits, separates the statue from the base, and tosses the figure away.
As he opens the can his only thought is, "I have GOT to find a better way to get lunch."

Now do you people have the general idea. Well I said Monday and it's now Monday so HEY WOLFY, Your Turn!

For what we are about to receive may we all be truly thankful. - Ancient Navy Saying

Post Mon May 17, 2004 9:46 am

We really got some talented guys round here
I'm bsy writing a story, but not for this, but I think you'll enjoy it if I put it up later inna week

Post Mon May 17, 2004 9:55 am

at least I made an effort.

every day is like Sunday, every day is silent and grey..

Post Mon May 17, 2004 10:17 am

Wow, you guys work fast. I didn't make the dead line and I am no where near finished.

Oh well . This is as far as I got. I think I wasted too much time getting into the beginning of the story but I was working on getting a twist into it.....



OVERLORDING IT:

Always needing to be the better one. Always being denied the satisfaction of being recognized as the best. Always... always.....

He turned his attention once more to the expanses of the cyberscape in search of a new home. Somewhere, there had to be a place where none could equal him in skills, where he would be able to lord it over everyone else. Belittle them, Thwart their every attempt to resist him, establish himself absolutely as the power over them.

A new site drew his attention. He'd been by this sector before but never noticed it. And this was odd because it was dynamic and thriving. Surely, he would have looked here before. He smiled to himself. "So what," he muttered, he'd found it now. He would look inside and see what made the place flourish and, perhaps this time, take it over.

He registered at the entry dock, a very simple task. He had not had to mask his true identity, but by force of habit he created a new alias for himself. This encouraged him.

Slowly, he made his decent to the home port. The port and site was called Teighellarria. Beyond that, he was not able to stereotype its denizens. True, most spoke only the one commonly used language but many spoke others as well. There seemed not to be a central point of attention. And there were many of different ages present here. While not all that suprising, the interaction amongst the ages was surprisingly very active. He made a note to himself to change that if he took over.

He came upon a large auditorium which was in a constant state of emptying and filling at the same time. Visitors came and went practically equal numbers. Those entering had a look of purpose and need etched into their faces, some carrying portfolios but most were empty handed. Those leaving looked tired but also calmed. He looked up at the marquee and it read "Omni Theater."

Inside the entrance was a combination information and sign-in booth, unmanned but with easy to follow signs with guidelines and FAQs. This gave him more confidence. He glanced only briefly at the posted signs, signed-in under his new identity and hurried into the inner spaces.

"Hello. Welcome to the Omni Theater. My name's FinalDay. I think you'll like it here." Not having watched where he was going, he had bumped into a sturdy looking fellow with a full beard.

"Hi. So what's going on in there?" He tried to look over FindalDay's shoulder.

"Oh, lots of different things. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Let's see.... you just checked in?" FinalDay looked at his handheld for a moment and then looked up. "Overlord, is it......?" But he'd already walked past.

Overlord. Yes. He liked that name. It said it all. He will be the Overlord of this place. As he moved farther
into the Theater, he noticed that there was not central stage. Instead there were small circular lounges everywhere some were full beyond capacity, others were empty, even dusty from lack of use.

Off in the distance for as far as he could see, whole areas of lounges appeared empty although occasionally, someone could be seen stepping in and out of them. Every once in a while, one would stop and stay in one of the unused lounges. All of a sudden that lounge would disappear and reappear at the front of the Theater with that new occupant. Those close by often ridiculed or scorned the occupant, often calling him a n00b or worse and walk away. Sometimes, another person would step in and join the n00b in a discussion. Overlord decided to enter one of these newly reconstituted lounges nodded to its occupant and said.... "Boy. This is a rough crowd. What was that all about?"

The occupant turned to Overlord. "It's called 'grave digging' and they don't like it here. But if there is a legitimate reason to resurrect a lounge, it is within the rules. I, for one, am very sure that my actions on this are totally justified. I have resurrected this lounge because I have discovered some new and very relevant information that should be shared here."

"You seem pretty cock sure of yourself for a n00b." Overlord then gave the occupant closer examination. It was then that he noticed that this one had ears slightly elongated at the top so that they almost flopped over. His two front teeth almost extended down beyond his upper lip giving him a hare-like resemblance. "What's your name?"

"I am not a n00b. I am Esquilax. I'd dare say that you're the n00b in this conversation." At that Esquilax got up from the chaise longue on which he'd been reclining. As he slowly stood to his full height, Overlord realized that he was talking to a centaur. A tall and angular one who stood a full head taller than himself. "Who are you?"

"Oh....." Obviously intimidated by the size of the centaur and having lost some of his conceit, he spoke: "Name's Overlord. Uh. So what's the discussion then?"

"On the true location of the Ark of the Covenant. I've come across some new evidence that it may exist and that it is kept under close guard in Ethiopia. Of course, this is all speculative and the sources are, although not questionable, nonetheless not well known in the field." Looking past Overlord's shoulder, Esquilax continued. "I thought you'd show up, here's what I've found." He handed his handheld over Overlord's shoulder.

"This is great! I can get my plans into motion in a day or two and its off to Ethiopia for me!" Overlord turned around to see a werewolf excitedly penning through Esquilax's handheld. At least, he looked like a werewolf, sideburns, fangs, thick head of hair. The werewolf looked up from the handheld and noticed Overlord's stare. "What are you looking at? Esqy, who is this guy? Another n00b?"

"No Wolfy, it only pays to be polite. Overlord, meet Wolf Demon, Wolfy, meet, er, Overlord. We haven't sorted out a nickname yet."

"Overlord. I prefer to be called Overlord. Hi."

Wolf Demon looked at Overlord suspiciously. Somehow or another, he was sure he'd seen this person before but the news of the latest find of the Ark was too exciting to dwell on an old recollection for too long. He nodded back to Overlord and then asked: "So where is Ethiopia, exactly?"

"Axum. That's Axum, in Ethiopia Wolfy. And that would be in East Africa, if you must know. I've known about this for yonks. It is housed safely with the Ethiopian branch of the Coptic church. It has been there for I forget how long.... before my time for certain." In glided Tawakalna. He seemed not to have any legs although, when he sat down and crossed them, it was fairly obvious that beneath his flowing robes he was bipedal like most humans.

"Well if you knew, why didn't you tell me? I've been after clues for the Ark for ages, maybe even two weeks!" Wolfy said this smilingly to Tawakalna.

Overlord butted in and said: "And who are you then? And how do you know all this when Esquilax only just now posted the information on this lounge?"

Wolfy held his hand up to the others and shot back: "Taw is one of the veterans here. He's seen a lot and been through even more that's who HE is. Show some manners."

"Name's Tawakalna. Most call me Taw. New here, I see. Pay Wolfy no never mind. He's all het up 'cos he's found a new treasure to hunt."

"Taw! It's not just ANY treasure. If this is the true Ark, the owner of it can possess TLR... of all people you should know that!" Interjected Wolfy.

Esquilax noticeably winced at that last remark. It was one thing to be open and frank in a discussion lounge but, in front of a stranger like Overlord seemed too indiscreet to him....

<Edit>

"So what's the news Esq?" FinalDay joined the group and sat down on a chaise. Noticing Overlord, he said "Well you get around pretty quickly." He turned to Wolf Demon and looked expectantly.

"They were just talking about finding the Ark of the Covenant in Axum when you walked in," said Overlord. Pointing his chin at Taw, he said "He was going to explain the details."

Esquilax then interrupted the discussion. "Yes. Well, as I was saying the article is not all a matter of fact. The information is, as I said, not verified but it seems to be the latest hypothesis on its whereabouts. It isn't proven as to location, much less the authenticity of the item itself." All during this comment, Esquilax tried to get Wolf Demon's attention to dampen his obvious enthusiasm over the news. He'd already looked at Tawakalna who acknowledged that he'd understood and who now wore a frown on his emerald face.

"That's not all, though." Overlord took over again. "Taw here says he's known about it for a while. He'd said it with some conviction, too. Something about a cops church.... Right, Taw?" Overlord was quite pleased with this little adventure. Not only had he found a place where he wasn't known, he'd found one that was about to give him the keys to supremacy over it. He stared expectantly at Tawakalna.

"C'mon Taw. Don't hold back now," Wolf Demon urged. Still caught in his excitement over the news, he had not perceived Esquilax's effort to dampen things down nor the look of discomfort on Tawakalna's face.

"Eh. Well. The story goes like this." Taw pretended to think hard to remember when he was trying to come up with a credible seeming false lead. "Eh. The Ark is said to be with the Coptics in Ethiopia. Aye. That has been the story I've been told for yonks, as I said. Ehrrrrmmmm. And that it was housed in Axum, yah .... or was it Eritrea? Ooooh. Hope it wasn't Eritrea. Nasty goings on in Eritrea right now. No, wouldn't want it to be in Eritrea....."

Overlord sensed that there was a change in mood at least among the three older ones. Wolf Demon looked confused but still determined to press on the topic. Before Overlord could speak, FinalDay said: "This is serious news. Even if it is all on speculation. Has anyone notified Bargib? He should be alerted, don't you think?"

"Don't be daft man!" Cried out Wolf Demon. He still had Esquilax's handheld and he quickly read out loud: "'Axum is a holy city to the Ethiopian Copts and the city and its precincts have a history that reaches far back to the days of the Nubian lords of Egypt.' That settles it. I am going to Axum!" With that Wolf Demon departed after tossing the handheld back toward Esquilax and called back to him over his shoulder as he went: "I'll be contacting you by remote to download that article Esqy. Hope you don't mind....gotta run now!"

Overlord reached up and intercepted the handheld. Only after he'd started the routine to display the article did he look up and say: "Hope you don't mind. I'm sort of a fan of ancient artifacts but I must admit to not having heard about this Ark thing before." Overlord knew he was stretching it with these three but he didn't care. All he needed was more information on what kind of power the Ark may have that would help him to take over this place.

Tawakalna's face visibly hardened. Finalday had stood up and was frowining at Overlord. Esquilax had gone into motion even sooner and took one quick step forward and snatched back his handheld from Overlord. "In fact I do mind. You're a cheeky one aren't you? This is my comp. I allow only those whom I choose to look at its contents."

He hadn't gotten everything but he'd seen enough to know that he needed to stay close to Wolf Demon. Overlord abruptly stood up, looked around and left the lounge heading off in the same direction as Wolf Demon.

"Do you think we have a problem here?" Finalday watched Overlord disappear into the crowd.

"I don't like him. I don't like him at all. Not so much as a 'by your leave.' I just wish Wolfy wasn't so openly enthusiastic about these things. I don't know how many times I've told him to slow down and think before he just blurts things out." Esquilax shook his head and eased back onto the chaise. He frowned some more and turned to Tawakalna. "And what was that bit about Eritrea? How awful was that? If that wasn't a give away, I don't know what would be. You worry me Taw, you really do. That and just jabbering on about it as you make your grand entry. Really, I don't know why I try."

"Gerrrofff! Who dug this little corpse up then, heh? I'm not the one with dust all over himself from grave digging!" Tawakalna sniffed and looked on to see if he could spot Wolf Demon. "Besides, we all know that this will come to nowt. Wolfy's not going to Axum. He doesn't even know where East Anglia is. How's he going to find East Africa?"

Finalday turned to the others: "I agree with Esq, I'm afraid. I don't like this Overlord character either. I ran, er, he ran into me, literally, back at the entrance. I welcomed him to the OT and tried to introduce myself to him but he just brushed me aside and kept going. And I didn't like the look on his face. Besides, what a ridiculous lie. How can anyone be interested in ancient artifacts and not even have heard about the Ark. This one needs watching." Finalday harrumphed at that last comment and got up to leave.

"Wait." Tawakalna also had got to his feet. "I'll come with you."

"Hold on." Esquilax had gotten up as well. "You're not going to go after him without me, gentlemen. You are going to need a clear head, namely mine, to sort this one out as well as all four of my surer feet........."


Edited by - Indy11 on 5/17/2004 7:17:10 PM

Post Mon May 17, 2004 10:25 am

wow I love it!
Its really good
keep it coming

Post Mon May 17, 2004 11:00 am

nicely done, Ed

Post Mon May 17, 2004 12:38 pm

Thanks. But this took me a lot of time from Friday until past deadline today. *grunt* it's a lot of work this writing stuff. The brain wracking part is the hardest. I really wonder how the pros are able to just churn them out like they do.

Post Mon May 17, 2004 12:41 pm

mine took me ages too and i ended up hacking it to bits and throwing half of it away. Art is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration

every day is like Sunday, every day is silent and grey..

Post Mon May 17, 2004 12:57 pm

99% perspiration. Tell me about it. The worst part is, if you try too hard, you're guarantied to get zilch but if you don't apply yourself, then you are forever at zilch. Yeesh.

Well, if the muse finds me again, I shall press on as, fortunately, I did outline this a little. Whew!

On the other hand..... what's with the cheetah? I am VERY curious now.

Edited by - Indy11 on 5/17/2004 1:57:50 PM

Post Mon May 17, 2004 12:58 pm

lol! ask kimk!

every day is like Sunday, every day is silent and grey..

Post Mon May 17, 2004 3:22 pm

i say that this should be given another week

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