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Bad News

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Post Wed May 05, 2004 4:01 pm

Bad News

This morning about two hours before I had to leave for work, my mom got a call from my grandmother saying that doctors had discovered cancerous lesions in my grandfather, I don't know where, I didn't ask for specific details, but what I do know is that these lesions are bad news. My grandpa has been on oxygen for the past year and a half. He can't go in for surgery or radiation therapy. His lungs have some serious problems and surgery or radiation therapy would kill him. He's fine for the moment, but it's evident he won't last for very much longer. He's 82, so he's led a long life. But it just broke my heart hearing the news this morning. I'm still having a hard time believing that this is happening. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I'm never prepared for it. I'm hoping to go see him this summer, as it might be my last time seeing him alive. I'm hoping to stay there for more than a week this year. I've had a very close relationship with my grandpa, and it just hurts to see him like that. It sucks that I'm stuck in Utah and my relatives are in Ohio. It's impossible for me to stop crying about it. But I know that talking about it will help me cope with this situation.

"If it's our time to die, it's our time. All I ask is that when it's our time, if we have to give these b******s our lives, WE GIVE 'EM HELL BEFORE WE DO!"

Esquilax

Post Wed May 05, 2004 4:09 pm

My condolences. I know that it's trite, but these things happen. My (only) grandmother's brother died a few days ago, so I can understand how you feel.

Edited by - esquilax on 5/5/2004 5:09:36 PM

Eh_Steve

Post Wed May 05, 2004 4:23 pm

I will only ever know one grandparent. That's my grandma, and she's 83 and still kicking. All of my other grandparents died before i was born. Anyway, I'm feeling for you here in OH.

H.Q. Victor

Post Wed May 05, 2004 4:26 pm

My condolences and prayers. I have lost both sets of grandparents myself .

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Post Wed May 05, 2004 8:40 pm

Hey, thanks for the feedback you guys. You make me feel a lot better. You guys are the best. Again, thank you.

mustang

Post Wed May 05, 2004 8:44 pm

Hard luck Mee, my last remaining grandfather passed away earlier this year. Sometimes it's better for them to go than prolong a painfull existence.

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Post Wed May 05, 2004 8:59 pm

When my grandpa goes, the only grandparent I'll have left, is my grandmother on my mother's side. My dad's father passed away before I was born, so I never knew him. Now, my grandmother on my DAD's side, passed away about 10 years ago. My dad's brother died about a year ago. I also had other grandparents in Ohio that passed away several years ago. It just keeps getting harder for me to hold to things and the people I love. I'm just glad that life goes on, and wherever my relatives are after death, that they'll still love me. And I still love them. It's getting hard to write this, because it hurts, but I needed to say this because it makes things a little easier for me. I'm in tears right now, so I think I'll stop.

Balthazar Furious

Post Thu May 06, 2004 12:30 am

I know how you feel, I lost both of my grandparents to cancer within a year of each other. My condolances to you as well.

It's an axe, I use it to...hack at people

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap

RILMS

Post Thu May 06, 2004 6:23 am

I'm sorry to hear, I wish you and your family all the best. I've been lucky, in my family, no one has ever died in my lifetime. So, I still have all four sets of grandparents, yes four sets, kicking around the place.

Life: No one gets out alive.

Gowserpaul

Post Thu May 06, 2004 9:08 am

my sincere condolences go out to you

I am the Master of Disaster!!!!!!!!

Indy11

Post Thu May 06, 2004 9:18 am

Hi Mee.

I've lost all of my grandparents too. I never got to know my grandfathers as they died when I was very young. My Dad's getting on in years, though and things like this, no matter how often it happens and no matter how inevitable, always hurts.

Dylan Thomas wrote a great poem about one way to deal with it. It really is meant more for your Grandpa to read than you but I thought you might like it:

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Edited by - Indy11 on 5/6/2004 10:19:41 AM

arton alpha

Post Thu May 06, 2004 10:36 am

i lost my aunt to unknown causes a while back which broke up every one who knew her the entire staff of the school where she worked came to her funeral
so i know how you feel you have my sympathy and my condolences

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Post Thu May 06, 2004 4:09 pm

@Indy11: Wow, man. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate that poem.

You've all been terrific. Words cannot express my gratitude at the heart you guys have shown me. I'm glad to have have found this forum and you guys. It's the people that have kept me coming back here several times a day. My grandfather's doing fine right now, but I don't think he'll last another year or two. I am quite surprised he's made it this far. It just goes to show how strong he is. He's inspired me a lot. You guys have been the greatest people I've never met in person. I wish I could.

ShadowFire789

Post Thu May 06, 2004 4:24 pm

Wow, mee. That's surprising. Most people think I just sit here all day, enjoying the lack of sunlight. Anyway, I think I should tell you this: Don't lose hope, not just yet. My grandmother was in a very similar situation, with lung cancer. But after a long and hard road, she was completely recovered after a final surgurey. And she still lives to this day. Trust me, judging by how stubborn my grandfather is, he won't give up just yet. My condolences and prayers mee, best of luck to you and your grandfather.

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Post Thu May 06, 2004 6:15 pm

@Shadow: Unfortunately, this is a lose-lose situation. These lesions that my grandfather had are cancerous, as I said above. At this point, there's not a thing that can be done about them. They're too advanced. He's been a smoker most of his life, so he has problems with his lungs. That's why he's been on oxygen for the past year and a half. He's been an inspiration to me, because of everything he's been through. He's lived through The Great Depression. He also served in the United States Marine Corps. He was a sniper at Iwo Jima. He's had a good, long life. And I'm proud of him. I always have been. And I always will be. Thanks for your comments though, I really do appreciate them.

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