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More Tales From My Flat

This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 1:55 am

More Tales From My Flat

I dont know if ive mentioned it before but we live on the ground floor. An attribute of our living condition i was very eager not to obtain when we applied for the flat last year. So eager, in fact, that our accomidation forms should have in big-bastard capital letters "NOT ON THE GROUND FLOOR PLEASE". We figured if people we know have had their rooms broken into and thousands of pounds worth of computing equiptment and priceless data have been stolen, then were just the unlucky bunch of kids that would suffer in kind.

So being placed on the ground floor kinda sucks. It maens you have to keep your curtains drawn so no one can peek at you in many stages of undress. You cant leave your window open all night if its hot, or even if your just popping to the shops like you could on a 1st floor building, because, lets face it, its a bit of a climb for thieves. That in mind youve gotta keep constantly checking your window in case you, in a moment of mental abscence, left it open and went out.

Our flatmate Chris did just such a thing yesterday, heading out to work and then lectures with his room window open. Now his room looks out on the back of the block, the view is of a fence and an unkemp patch of grass and is the prime area for guys to break in without drawing too much attention to themselves. Its also not somewhere we'd go often, so in a strange off-chance, we went back there to knock on another flatmate's window to scare them ****-less (it didnt work, he was in the bathroom i think) they saw Chris' window open so poked their head through and saw that it was empty. For a joke, thinking Chris was in the kitchen, my flatmate Dan pinched his printer and brought it back round into the flat. When we found out that Chris wasnt even in the building, we decided to teach him a lesson for being careless. We moved about 5 to £600 worth of stuff into the next room, which we nicknamed the 'den' and locked his room back up, escaping once again through the window.

Its probably a good idea now to explain the importance of the 'Den' to you. About 2/3 months ago, we realised that the spare room in our flat wasnt going to be occupied until next semester, meaning we could turn it into a party room, of sorts, if we could only get in. We decided that the best way to get in would be to just ask. That didnt get us very far. The next idea was to get in through the window. The window is locked though, so we needed to actually get in there and take the window off the latch. We settled on posting some mail under the door and getting the caretaker to unlock the door to retrieve it. While the door was unlocked, we barged into the room and looked around. Were talking 3 or 4 guys in the room now, and 1 outside with the caretaker talking and hopefully distracting her. Eventually, one of us did get the latch off and after the caretaker had gone, we moved a stereo and some seats in there and played some cards in our new room. The 'Den' was the place where we put anyone that was staying over, or to play some games etc. but the novelty wore off after a while and so we stopped using it.

We moved all of Chris' stuff into the Den and forgot about the whole thing, we went out to the Pub and enjoyed the evening.

We got a phone call at about 9 last night from Chris, claiming he'd been robbed. Smiles all round as we explained what we'd done and that he could find his gear in the next room and he shouldnt leave his window open. The joy lasted for all of about 3 seconds until Chris explained that the police were bagging and fingerprinting the place, taking a photograph of a bootprint they lifted from the desk and removing the window lock for evidence.

Chris then made matters worse by opening the door to the Den and informing the Warden that it was a false alarm. False alarm maybe, but now we had to explain how we got into the unused room in our flat. To cut a long story short ("too late", we were roused from a particularly deep, alcohol fueld sleep that we're now all on report, a matter not helped that we already have a strike next to our names for failing to turn up to the dreaded "fire lectures". We were told we should expect a visit from the dragon who runs the residential services department later on today regarding the matter. So now i'm hung over, tired and on report. And i've only been back since Saturday.


- "ive got an attitude of everything i've ever wanted"
- Zeroing TIE's In An X-Wing Since 1993

Edited by - Arcon on 1/14/2004 1:57:15 AM

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 1:58 am

I 've got the perfect solution. When the old b*tch comes round, pretend not to be in. anything that comes through the door, burn. if she lets herself in, be nekkid and act drunk and give youself a quick wrist exercise on the sofa. that'll give her something to think about.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 2:05 am

disturbed, and slightly worrying

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 2:23 am

...and an image I didn't want to imagine

Don't worry about it mate, if I were you I'd blame it on the caretaker....just make out that she didn't lock it properly and you accidentally stumbled in there one day..."sorry, it was already open so I didn't think it was bad" (don't forget to twist you hair around your finger like an 8 year old girl while saying this)...act dumber than jade from big brother on a good day....its embarrassing but works every time....a little humiliation is the best outcome methinks.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 3:57 am

tell her you keep forgetting to take your medication and youre waiting for a new care-in-the-community worker to be re-assigned to you.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:14 am

Be a man, seduce her till you're no longer in trouble

Life: No one gets out alive.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:26 am

weve been informed were going to be called in to see Mrs Mary Conway of fire warning letter fame sometime soon.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 6:00 am

lol Arcon, unlucky there mate

if you are involved in any further disiplinary issues you may be asked to leave the Halls immediately
or something like that lol.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

http://www.cardamine.net/

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 6:43 am

student life, eh, grom? how many times did you get evicted from halls and flats and houses? I got kicked out of 3 places then set fire to the last one when I left.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 6:47 am

I couldn't get into halls due to limited space, but I managed to trash a few at parties

As for houses...*shudder*....all I'm saying is this...I lived in 6 different houses in 5 years, and I have a feeling that when I die the landlords will be waiting for me at the gates of hell Poor souls...

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:07 am

it was just youthful high spirits, grom, wasn't it? anyway I bet the landlords will be waiting at Muslim hell, so you'll be safe. "You pay dam rent, dam bl**dy students, I come dam beat you good manjingendayen didldu i run you over in my taxi" bit like that was it? My last landlord in Sparkbrook, Brum, was called Mohinda Singh and was full turban and beard Sikh, he hated us and threatened to kill us every week, in the end he tried to flood us out by turning on all the stopcocks so we set fire to the house and kidnapped his cat (one if the girls adopted it and took it to live with her) oh yeh and didnt pay him the £400 quid we owed him <sigh> happy happy days

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 1:30 pm

@Taw, Hehehehe Thats a good payback.

As for you Arch I think if you just come clear with the woman, then you will be allright, The dutch call it "ja nee en amen knikken" and it translates as saying yes, no and amen.

Just say your sorry to the woman and be off with it. and while you are at it just say that you have been to numerous fire-classes and passed all.

__________________________________________________________
Oh, dear, How sad, Never mind!!-Battery Sergeant Major Williams
Plus the newest addition!!-

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 1:39 pm

Honesty is NOT the best policy, especially when this woman is concerned. I hear she revels in dismissing upstart students.

Also, bit of a development on what is turning out to be the most interesting thing that has EVER happened in Bolton. Apparently, while trying to cover up the fact that we lied and broke into the Den, some genius on the local police force put 2 and 2 together and got retarded as the official word that went down on the report was that we used Blu-Tac to fill in the grooves on the keys so we could gain entry to any room. Thus the report got photocopied, faxed and stored in about a bazillion different places by the end of the night. First thing this morning, the college was on the phone to the lock manufacturers to inform them about the huge security flaw. I can only imagine the conversation with moronic staff trying to convince one of the larges lock company that their doors can be bypassed by mouldable, sticky rubber used for sticking posters to walls.

Seems like common sense still didnt strike all day because Chris has had to write a report of his own, stating that Blu-Tac cannot be used to open doors. We do know in a way to convince certain people in the upper reaches of the staff room, a demonstration had to be performed multiple times. The mind boggles that these people have any power at all.

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 1:55 pm

i am incredibly proud of you, Arch. it's convoluted and deppening insanity and the clash of individual expression and free thought against the mundanity and pettiness of bureaucracy is a sheer delight, and hey! things could be worse, it might be me.

Who's the lock manufacturer anyway? if its Legge, Chubb or Arthur Shaw's, i know who designed 'em. that's not as incredibly sad as it sounds, i dont collect locks or anything; some of my m8s from college are design engineers in product development for these firms and i'm gonna ring em up and take the p*ss big time "hey Dave tried making a Blu-tac proof lock yet?"



Edited by - Tawakalna on 1/14/2004 3:11:14 PM

Post Wed Jan 14, 2004 8:10 pm

I'm a confused american........

Do you live at school or something? Like...in a dorm? cause I thought a flat was an apartment.......

Good?....Bad?......I'm the guy with the gun.

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