thank Christ you actually replied, you b*st*rd! I was on the verge of booking a plane ticket to come and give you a good k*cking!

listen guy i know this sounds like cr*p BUT some of us really do know how you feel. without going into a lifestory, i (and others) have had some godawful tragedies in our lives. My first daughter Amelia died in a car crash when she was a toddler and it was my fault. i'll never forget watching her broken little body being put on a mortuary slab. within a year i was divorced, on drugs, then penniless, then living on the streets like a tramp, then in gaol. Not a day went by that i din't think of topping myself and even now its a memory i have to blot out with booze and acting the fool.

i know pains hard to deal with and the world is a sh*t sh*t place and all you want to do is turn back time and make it unhappen - you can't. people say it gets better - it doesn't, the pain just dulls and you fill the void with other things, sometimes good, sometimes bad. You have to bear it, i'm afraid, horrible though it is, and you come out stronger and wiser for it - eventually, and it takes a bl**dy long time.

There's no magic solution, i wish there was. Love can be a terrible thing and exposes you to harm in so many ways. Lots of people will give you platitudes and soppy second-hand homespun wisdom and preach cr*p to you in these situations - all i can say is that no matter how bad things seem, they do come to an end. and there is always someone worse off than you, so count what blessings you have. And one old platitude is true; time does heal everything (but always leaves a scar and you never ever forget)

feel free to email me if you want, but dont ever do anything like this again or i'll kick your Serbian @ss from one end of the Danube to the other. You're a well respected guy and if you keep your head straight you'll go far in this world. Just remember that everything you do has a consequence for good or ill.

all the best Chet (i mean it,, truly) and goodnight.

Phew - I was almost ready to take you for dead! I am so glad you came back to read these replies.

It is useless to tell you to forget about her, you never will. But you must let go of it. She cared about you alot, right? Do you think she would like to see you in this state? About to kill yourself? You are very sad and downcast of course, and that is only right when we have lost a loved one, especially when the death was preventable and before their time. But, killing yourself is not the answer. Think how she would feel if she knew that because of her death, you are dead too. Do not delude yourself in thinking she would be proud of you for it.

You seem to have lost faith in humanity...well you would be blind not to see the humanity here, on this forum, in this thread! Each post I know was sincere, and a great many of us care about you.
Think how we would feel if you gave up life? Think how your friend, Sanya, would feel?

I know right now you probably feel like we couldn't possibly know how you feel and thus our words are meaningless, but think it out.

Loss is always hard, especially if it is someone you love deeply and especially if they are taken from you prematurely. I feel for you Chet, nothing in the world is going to take that pain away from you except a lot of time. But your going to have to suffer for a while, it may even take a few years but eventually you will get through it. In time the pain will numb, and one day you'll get out of bed and be ready to start living your life again, I can guarentee it.

Chet. I'm releived your still around. We all seriously were shocked that you were planning to take your own life and i know i cant speak from experience because i havent, and hope never to, feel such grief as you are feeling right now, But one thing ive learned from others who have had great personal loss is that grieving is a perfectly natural thing and that times will seem pretty bleak but things WILL get better for you as long as you let them.
Pass along my thanks to Sanya for getting you to see sense and hopefully, good friends like her, can help you through all this. I think i speak for everyone who's been posting here that we will do all we can to help you as well, in what ever little ways we can manage, be it try and bring a smile to your face or be someone to just listen to your problems.
Again, i'm seriously glad your allright Chet. Dont be a stranger to these forums.


"ive got an attitude of everything i've ever wanted"

Thank the mighty higher beings, Chet. (Once again, as if my words mean anything) I'm terribly sorry for your friend. But if you were to end your own life, you would only be inflicting upon others the same pain that was inflicted upon yourself. There is always a reason to live Chet, always. I'm glad you're back (and alive), regardless of whether you've changed or not.

@Chetnik, I lost someone I loved too, it's been 2 1/2 years and I think about her all the time. But she never would have wanted me to give up my life, if anything, the time I was with her gave me a new life. One full of promise and true beauty, a life that I am determined to keep living everyday even if it's hard to live it without her. I owe it to her to continue with the gift of happiness she has given to me and I love her for it, even though I don't have her around anymore to share it.

Sir Spectre

Thank you. Thank you for checking in. And thank Sanya too. Her advice to you was an excellent one. Please thank Sanya for us as well.

Those are very powerful reasons you gave but I am very grateful that you had the strength to try to look through the pain.

There are no words for what you are experiencing although many both great and small have tried to write about it.

-Indy

I think I speek for everyone when I say that we're all releaved that you're still with us.

I am terrebly sorry to hear what happened to her. That is something that should never ever happen. But, just take things one day at a time. If you can live one day, you can live two days, and so on.

All the luck in the world to you.

Life: No one gets out alive.

did you make sure you killed this.. daven guy ? or at the least have him persecuted (prosequted?)

i'm glad we do mean somethin to you. when time and situation allows i think all of TLR should meet up. old and young, of all colours. and stare at the sky

man i think that was cheesy. but hey, chet comin back put my mind off the mountain of homework i have waiting for me.

@Kimk, prosecuted definitely, do not mention killing him again. An aquaintence of mine was so emotionally distraught when his girlfriend cheated on him with someone else he beat the hell out of the guy using a baseball bat. This aquaintence went to prison for 5 years.

We don't need offers like that at this emotional time, please. This situation is problematic enough without having to go create new complications.

Sir Spectre

Chet, I hope you see how happy this entire forum and its members are that your alright. What you are feeling right now I can not begin to imagine. You've lost someone very very close to you and it will hurt. Just always remember that she was and is not the only person that cares about you. I can saftely say you had a good number of people on this forum ready to go buy plane tickets and fly our asses down to serbia. It will take time to get over this but it can be done. You will probably never forget her, but this will only make you a stronger person. If you can make it over this hurdle, which i have all the faith in the world in you, nothing else in your life should be able to stop you. Just please dont blame yourself and always know that if you need to talk there is always a abundent amount of people ready to talk to you. I would be more then happy to to talk over email or on an open forum if you need anything at all, and im sure im not the only one.

Edited by - Matt8705 on 1/10/2004 9:47:38 PM

Good to hear from you. Look, I do not know you well, and I really don't like revealing personal information about myself, but here is a story that occurred about eight years ago...

My father had always had a heart problem, however no-one had ever bothered to tell me. He went in to hospital for some minor surgery, and I visited him afterwards and told him that he better be home for my birthday (which was four days away). He said that he would, and we left. The hospital rang later that he had had a heart attack, and was in bad shape. My family and I went there straight away, and we found out that he had died. We wanted to have the funeral two days later, however it was Holy Thursday, and we had a hard time convincing the priest to do it. He finally agreed, and I had my birthday the day after the funeral; on the Friday. For me, it still seems so cliched, sort of like a bad drama series, but I've learnt that life is like that.

I know that it does not compare with your experience, however I feel that I should let you know that I can, at least in some small way, empathise.

Esquilax.

Chet, I emailed you but I'm not sure if you've been able to access your email these days. I just figured I'd post here to make sure you knew I wasn't ignoring you.
Nothing that has happened to me compares to that. I don't really know what to say, I don't think I know how to express the sorrow I feel for you. I've lost friends and family but at least, with things like cancer, I had some warning. Any advice I think I could give you has already been said here before.
As long as you can get through this, you'd be an inspiration to me and, I suspect, many others.
Be strong, Chet, your time will come 60 or 70 years down the line, not now, the story of your life still has plenty of unfilled chapters.

Damn, you had us really worried there buddy! I'm really releaved and happy that you're still with us Chet. I cannot begin to express my sympathies for your loss, but I'm sure you'll find a way to climb out of the dark pit you're in at the moment and actually see and experience what good things life still has in store for you

I truly hope you'll be more active on the forums again starting from now, so we can continue to let you see, know and feel you have friends here who are supportive towards you in any way possible.