I don't want to turn this into a star wars quote fest but my favourite has to be:

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.....we must be cautious" He's just ace.

A few of my other favourites...(leave ya to guess where they're from)...

"If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host."

"In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us!"

"Alright people, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!"

"I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind."

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you would have a diamond."

The last two are from one of my favourite films of all time. It ooooozes quotes.

and there was me thinking it was from Big Brother, lol

Meg Griffin: Mayor West?
Mayor West: How do you know my language?
Meg Griffin: You've got to help me, my entire future is in your hands
Mayor West: Are you Sarah Conner?

-arcon
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From "Off Centre":

"You're fruttier than a bowl of Hawaiian punch!"

A friend told me once:

"She's got more rubber between her legs than a $10 hooker"
Sorry but I had to post that one! It was so funny when he said that!



-- The Lancersreactor: where the screenshots are never blurry, and the script kiddies get publically kicked around.

The Lancersreactor FAQ
The use of signatures

Edited by - Wizard on 01-09-2003 20:22:07

I could be mistaken, Wiz, but that sounds more like Will & Grace. Hence, the "fruitier" part

It is "Off centre", when everyone thinks the British guy is gay.

Edited by - Wizard on 01-09-2003 20:57:09

@kimk it's full read is:

Three rings for the Elven Kings under the sky
Seven for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone
Nine for Mortal Men Doomed to die
One for the Dark Lord on his Dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all and in the Darkness Bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie

It's from the cover of the Lord of the Rings' book by J.R.R. Tolkien

As for one of my fav. quotes:

Blackadder: The Cavalier Years (1988) (TV)

Edmund Blackadder: Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed, man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen.
Baldrick: In what way?
Edmund Blackadder: It doesn't exist.

or from the T.v series It ain't half hot, mum (my sig.)





__________________________________________________________
Oh, dear, How sad, Never mind!!-Battery Sergeant Major Williams



Edited by - Locutus on 01-09-2003 20:50:27

The best thing about Star Wars quotes is that you can gain sooo much comedy value by replacing certain words with "pants". Observe
•"I find your lack of pants disturbing.." ~ Vader
•"These pants are now the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use them" ~ Moff Tarkin
•"TK-421... Why aren't you in your pants? TK-421, do you copy?" ~Gantry Officer
•"No! Alderaan is peaceful, we have no pants!" ~ Leia
•"A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master." ~ Vader
•"Look sir, pants." ~ Stormtrooper
•"They frighten easily, but they'll soon be back, and in greater pants." ~ Obi Wan
•"You're pants are weak old man" ~ Vader
•"Ten thousand! We could almost buy our own pants for that!" ~ Luke
And my personal fave:
"Your over-confidence is your weakness." --Luke
"Your faith in your pants is yours." --Palpatine

I can see Arcon having a field day creating new versions of these

----------------------------------------
Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty.
Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage.

Sgt Esteves " Ah your srewy Harney, this here killings your average street killin cept maybe were looking for 5-10 shooters..."

O'Dooel " Any of the other guys give you a hard time, tell em O'Doolel kick there ass okay?"

Prostitute " I, I, I was just asking for a lift from the guy! Hes a freind o mine.."

Tommy Vercetti " Lets settle this like men... with guns"

"Lets settle this like men... with guns" Killzone

i dont think pants jokes are that funny (plus some are misquotes) however, here are some sexually suggestive star wars quotes:

Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!
Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
Put that thing away before you get us all killed.
You've got something jammed in here real good.
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
Sorry about the mess...
Look at the size of that thing!
Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!
She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.
I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.
Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
But now we must eat. Come, good food, come...
That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while.
Hurry up, golden-rod...
I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?
Its possible he came in through the south entrance.
And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
Control, control! You must learn control!
Hey, point that thing someplace else.
I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master.
I never knew I had it in me.
There is good in him, I've felt it.
Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one.
Back door, huh? Good idea!
She's gonna blow!
I think you'll fit in nicely.
Rise, my friend.
Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!

-arcon
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Edited by - Arcon on 01-09-2003 22:57:15

hehe arcon

Q. how did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

A. he felt his presents with the Force

Black Back and Forth

Baldrick: Sniff my Skids

"A TopGun through and through"

Yeah, yeah, yeah.... it's star wars and I don't care. Sexual innuendo abounds.

"I'd rather kiss a wookie!" - "That can be arranged!"
"Curse my metal body! I wasn't fast enough!"
"Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"

And my favorite...
"You came in that thing?? You're braver than I thought!"

bad star wars joke: A jedi and a sith are fighting, when one of them accidentally blows the power, the jedi says ' now i trully am on the dark side '

dont blame me, blame my 11 year old sister