Oh. That's a tough question. I know the right thing to do would be to marry her. But then again, if faced with these circumstances in reality, one might not always be able to do the right thing (for many reasons).

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Edited by - maswastage/BG on 29-06-2003 15:30:59

True, but without bringing religion into it, not only your parents would be pressuring you, but also her parents ( if she still has any )

Chances are however, that if someone is so irresponsible as to impregnate a woman (not that i'm calling any specific person irresponsible) before marrying her, I doubt he would be responsible enough to marry her after. He might run away, or even deny that the baby is his at all. He might just not be prepared to start a married life. Like I said, there are many reasons for him not to be able to do the "right thing."

true, anyone else have anything to add?

Marry her. Even if the marriage has no chance of surviving, you owe it to the child. Being born a bastard sucks, and can be a devastating to the child in some close-minded society.

true, very true

It's not really your choice. You're assuming 1) she'll want to keep the kid, and 2) she'll want to marry you. My girlfriend and I have discussed this, since we're... involved... in that situation she wouldn't want to keep the kid. And for the record, it might not be the best thing to marry her anyway. A lot of people's lives are made perfectly miserable because of this sort of decision-making process, and the child isn't necessarily better off in a two-parent household. So setting up a marriage that will almost certainly be unhappy isn't a good way to make sure the kid will have a healthy childhood.

Lastly, there are plenty of effective means of birth control, day after pills etc. whose effectiveness are now 98% or higher (that 2% is supposed to be human error). If someone is having sex regularly without using them (and if those people are not religious), in my opinion, those people are too irresponsible to trust raising kids anyway. Of course, this assumes you live in a country that allows you to use birthcontrol. Here in the US its still an iffy thing.

@FF living as a child of a couple that hate each other, and subconsciously blame you for making them live together, can't be any fun.

As for me I couldn't get a girl pregnant (No I'm not invertile) but just because I don't "like" that company of women

*Note* with company I mean sexual company

Edited by - Locutus on 29-06-2003 22:05:16

same here, but its only theoretical

@FF, being a bastard only sucks depending on the environment you grow up in. I'm a bastard but I have never suffered any stigmatisation because of it.
I think it all truly depends on the exact situation, your relationship with the girl, whether she is willing to accept looking after it, how old you are etc.

Yep Recusant, you're lucky. I did say "in close-minded" society. In such cases, both parents owe it to the child to have him/her born legitimate. Even if they can't stand each other, use duct tape to hold the marriage together at least until the birth. Get a divorce afterwards, I don't care. The parents don't even have to live together during "the marriage". The child just needs to be born in such conditions acceptable to the surrounding mindset and culture.

Yes, I am proposing a sham marriage, and the difference is mere cosmetics, it's the least the parents can do to keep their kid out of the pariah caste. Don't get me wrong; a culture that punishes a child for whatever his/her parents did is definitely a sick one. But I know better than to try and change cultures.

hmmm? so you get her pregnant, and she wants to keep it. well thats her choice, but if i'm not up for parenthood i dont know if i can be bothered. i mean dont get me wrong, it sounds kinda ****ty, but thats just me. I HATE children, like you know maybe budhists hate war, (You know better. -Tach). they hate me, i hate them like tom and jerry. so i'm gonna have to totally like this bird, but then i'd never leave a deposit if i wasnt gonna buy anythign so this is kinda beside the point.

i dont think getting married is really the way to go, it doesnt prove anything, doesnt MEAN anything, its not like a document, a whole ass load of money on a party or anything is gonna change your feelings toward someone, and theres no way i'm gonna put a girl in the position of calling me her husband.

so yeah, i'd like a kid once he's like 10 or something, but up to that point their kinda crap, they have no good ideas, opinions, they like crap stuff, they wake you up, they dont give you any money for the service. there are no good points AT ALL, and if its about pasing on the family line then forget about it. when i have kids its gonna be cause i'm bored and need a new challenge but at the moment i cant even take care of myself let alone a crying food hole of a baby.

i'd probably stick with a chick that wanted to keep the kid but i'd be rooting all the way to get that little bastard terminated all the way til birth baby, i'm no way ready mentally, physically or financially to have a little arcon running around trying to eat my star wars ships collection or ruining my vinyl collection

-arcon
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Edited by - Tachyon on 29-06-2003 23:42:02

amen arcon, besides the things most parents let kids get up to, its like they didnt want them in the first place :/