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Return to nowhere (Chapter 6 - 1st post - 06/18/2006)

Read, add and comment on excellent written stories by fans, set within the Freelancer universe

Post Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:50 am

“Sebastian, I am sorry for having to wake you, but do you mind about coming to the bridge?” Frederick Herfeld’s manner and face definitely expressed concern. His words were just a whisper.

Putting the blanket aside Bergander raised from his field bed on the hangardeck. He took a look at the watch one of the Bretonians had given to him. His own had been lost on the Nomad Research Station and working clocks were a rare thing on the ship.
It was 0431 ship time according to the watch. Theoretically the middle of the night, but it did not really feel like it. Probably he had not yet gotten used to it.
Apparently the Lieutenant Commander had rested as well, because he did not look as tired as Bergander would have expected.

Following Herfeld slowly he was glad that he felt at least a bit better. The medication apparently served its purpose. His temperature seemed to be a bit lower and the headache was almost gone. Luckily Alexander Greenstreet was nowhere to be seen. The medical officer might not have been too happy about Bergander leaving the hangardeck less than three hours after the arrival.
Currently the Rhinelander could not care less about it though. When they had left the crowded hangar behind he dreaded to know: “What’s wrong?”

“I left two technicians on the bridge. They wanted to repair the navigation system and our internal communication so I used the possibility to get some rest. They called me back about twenty minutes ago.” Taking a hasty look around whether anyone else could hear his words, Herfeld finished: “The jumphole seems to collapse.”

“Collapse?!” Bergander repeated in horrified disbelief.

“You say it. It has already begun. As it looks it will be gone in less than one hour if you ask me.”

Overtaking him Bergander intended to reach the bridge immediately to see it with his own eyes. The pure imagination of it was too much to believe. He had to see it, because he wanted to regard Herfeld’s remark as a bad joke. A rational thinking part of his brain yet knew very well that Frederick Herfeld would never make any jokes about such a matter.

The ex-Asgard officer was not really frightened as it appeared, but he had shown great calmness in emergencies before. Calmness no one could summon in such a situation. No human being could. Yet Frederick Herfeld was one as well. Demonstrated calmness came in his case preliminary to panic, which it just hid. That was one of the few things Bergander knew about the man by now.

Reaching the emergency bridge he just ignored the technicians, who were still standing in front of the screen. It appeared like if they were frozen and perhaps they really were. Frozen with terror.

When he tried hard to catch his breath to calm down this way and took after that a close look at the screen it felt like if his heart stopped beating for a second and then made a jump just to start it at the doubled rate again. At least two times faster than it had before.

Luckily the Bretonians had not taken any notice of their arrival so they did not see Bergander’s visible effort to fight his own panic. Hell… the jump had almost torn the Belfast apart and the incredible pain was nothing he ever wanted to feel again in his life, but the energy fluctuation marking the anomaly called jumphole, which allowed ships to travel far distances in a very short time, was still their connection to Magellan. They had come this way and he had still clung to the hope that the technicians could repair the ship and that they could get back through it.

Right now he it was too late for that. The rims of the hole already started to become blurry and the fluctuation had become infrequent compared to last time. The bright blue colour was already vanishing. It indicated that the energy, wherever it came from, was not feeding the anomaly anymore.

His feelings told him that it would be better if he took a seat. Herfeld was still standing at the bulkhead.

“Will it last for another three hours? We do not need more time. We have called the machine room and they mobilised all experts we got left. It just needs to remain stable for the next three hours and we will be back home…” The quiet words proved Bergander’s guess false. At least one of the Bretonians had heard their arrival.

The man’s despair, being dominating in his voice, made Bergander shudder. He also knew about the severe consequences of the truth. Despair was usually followed by resignation.

“We honour your efforts, but this ship cannot take this jumphole back to Magellan.” Herfeld lacked once again any tactfulness. In Bergander’s eyes was another sign for the emotions beneath his companion’s mask of coolness.

The other Bretonian turned his head and whispered in the direction of the Rhinelanders: “It is not too late! We can still…” It was more a plea than anything else.

“Mister, just stop it! Illusions don't help anyone. The hole is already collapsing. Trust me. I know what I am talking about. Even if you had a main drive and were able to manoeuvre, the connection to Magellan will not be stable. Even now the ship will get kicked out and you might end up in the middle of nowhere between the two systems, which might even be worse than this system is. And honestly… you two are the technicians here. Do you really think that this wreckage will make it back? It will not even survive the entrance.”

“Our ship, Frederick.” Bergander corrected instinctively. Ignoring Herfeld’s obvious surprise he got up from his seat and went to the technicians. One of the men had silently started to weep. Bergander was not feeling much better either because he felt the same fear, but things were different now. If they let the resignation get at them, no one would ever get back. More incidents like Berkley’s death would occur and finally the entire crew would just lay down to die like sheep in the storm.

Optimism was needed plus someone to spread it. No one asked him about his own feelings, but routine started to take over in his behaviour. It was like a relay being switched into the opposite direction. Greenstreet had made him Captain although he had not wanted it. Still Bergander should be condemned if he let things just happen. He could not stand aside and watch. One time was enough. He had been forced to do so when the chief engineer had shot himself. That had been enough. “Please go and tell all crewmembers that I wish to see them on the hangardeck in about fifteen minutes.”

The Bretonians stared at each other and then at Bergander. The man who had broken out in tears wiped them away and energetically shook his head. “We better go down and help the others with the main drive. We have to get through the anomaly before it disappears!”

“Wrong. You will do exactly as I told you. Frederick... or better said Lieutenant Commander Herfeld was right. We will not take the jumphole, so there is enough time to spare. Go please.”

“You are acting as if you were commanding this ship, Rhinelander. Why don’t you simply try the intercom? You might see how many people will listen to your so called orders. This is none of your ships. You cannot give us orders as you like.”

Herfeld’s voice was as cold as ice while looked with disgust at the technicians. “No matter you should remember that you are talking to a captain of the Rhineland Navy. You are at least supposed to treat him with the same respect you would treat one of your superiors with!”

The Bretonian seemed anxious to give a fit answer back, but Bergander interfered in a neutral voice: “The intercom works again?”

Reluctantly the second technician nodded.

“Good work. I will indeed make use of it then, but you can still go down to the hangardeck.” Adding a sharp tone to his voice he continued: “And that really was an order! If you wish you can let Lieutenant Commander Greenstreet confirm it. I would rather suggest though that you leave him alone, because he got more important things to take care of. You better go and simply wait for my words.”

Uncertain the men again exchanged looks. “Lieutenant Commander Greenstreet already knows about this?”

“Not yet. He might be taking a break or busy doing his job. Still he won’t agree with your decision to try to jump.”

“Lieutenant Commander Greenstreet is a good doctor, but he certainly has not much of a clue about astrophysics.”

“Errr… please don’t get me wrong, but you don’t do so either, right? Or do the Bretonian academy courses in ship and fighter maintenance also include it? At least in our case it was mainly content of the bridge officer courses. Now tell me please how you could know about that!” Herfeld seemed to be even amused. He apparently enjoyed the argument.

The technician again wanted to give back an answer, which was probably even worse, but the other one, who had remained quiet, touched his mate’s elbow. The slight move of his head was barely visible, but Bergander noticed it as well as the angry man. Without any further word they quickly left the emergency bridge.

“Fools!” Herfeld cursed aloud after they were gone.

“No. They are just afraid and do not know what to think. It was not easy for you either to follow orders given by Commodore Baxter on the Westerland, right?”

“That was different! The bas… eh admiral was not supposed to…”

“So we are supposed to give orders here on the Belfast? That’s a strange point of view, Frederick. You are very stressed. Probably you should take some rest.”
Bergander tried hard to ignore the insult, which Herfeld had already had on his lips. Still he could not prevent his voice from becoming a bit louder again. Inside he knew that Herfeld and the Bretonians were not the only ones showing symptoms of the stress. In Herfeld’s case the Asgard education apparently came through again.

“Pardon. I beg your forgiveness. Of course we are not supposed to give orders here. You know about me and my feelings towards the Commodore, who is your friend. You are of course right. I haven’t had much sleep. Lack of sleep and stress make people aggressive.” So… you talked to Greenstreet then?” Herfeld tried to change the topic of their conversation.

“I did.”

“And? What are his intentions?”

“Like I already told those guys, the Lieutenant Commander put the decisions into my hands.”

“That sounds as if he really promoted you to Captain.” Smiling grimly, Herfeld added: “I told you about it!”

“Let’s simply say that he started calling me this way. I did not ask him to do so.”

“Well if the rest of the crew reacts like those morons, he will probably remain the only one calling you that way.”

“I do not really care how they call me as long as they accept the decisions I make.”

“You rather mean our decisions, right?”

“I am sorry, Frederick. Etiquette and the entire situation require it that I make Greenstreet become my Executive Officer. Otherwise the crew might really start a rebellion.”

Herfeld’s laugh came suddenly, but it was not sarcastic. “Oh Sebastian, you did not really think that I was keen on it, right?” Becoming serious again the man stated: “I do not really care what my position is on this ship. I just wanted to know whether I am also in or not.”

“You heard my words. I already stressed your rank in front of those guys. I thought about making you responsible for the navigation or the damage control. You really expected me to ban you to your quarter while I command this ship? What would I do on the bridge without you?”

“I dunno. Perhaps some of the Bretonians could help you. I heard one or two officers from the relief bridge crew are among the survivors. It is really unfortunate that Fitzgerald died. I will check it out soon whether we got any experienced people left. There really was a lot of confusion during the first hours. No one really knew anything definite. Not even Greenstreet.”

“Greenstreet probably does not know where his head stands. Still it is a very good idea to check it out.”

“You got my word that I will. So what about the intercom announcement you wanted to make?”

“I just wanted to tell people that I expect them to come to the hangardeck. I figure it might be better if Greenstreet tells them about his decision.”

“Yes. He can use his doctor tone. Say something like: ‘Everything will be fine… just let Captain Bergander do it… he will take us back to Bretonia…’ Of course he will entirely forget about the war and the fact that you do not have any clue either!”

“What makes you think that?”

Smiling thinly, Herfeld rose his hands in a short acknowledgement of defeat. “I see. My apologies. Captain Bergander already got a plan. Does he mind telling one of his bridge officers about it?”

“To be honest it is not really a plan, but I think it might be best to find out first of all where we are. It is the best prerequisite for getting to know how to get away from here again. I am just not willing to give up before I know all the facts.”

Looking at the jumphole on the screen, which was fading further with any minute, he said quietly: “And I also want to find out what happened to the other ships, Frederick. I take a bet that the Oregon is here as well, but that ship we have rammed is not the Oregon. So perhaps the carrier is somewhere in this system.”

“I would really prefer if it was not. So you really got a basic concept although it is not really much of a plan. Now only the crew has to play along. You even want to continue our search. I only hope that you don’t mind if I remind you of the Liberty attack. It is a little thing you probably forgot.”

“I don’t mind and I also didn’t forget about it. I was just thinking that we don’t really have to tell them you know. I know the First Officer and I also know the commanding officer. You do not have to tell them about you being on this ship as well. And even if you did, the Oregon is a Liberty carrier. I don’t think that you have to fear anything.”

“I don’t fear anything! I mean I know the Captain, but no one else on the ship. I just ask myself whether your friendship with the Oregon’s Executive Officer and a long-forgotten friendship with Captain Hart will last long enough to prevent the carrier from blowing up this little Bretonian cruiser. They got more ships and they definitely got more fire power. If the Oregon is here, I definitely prefer being at the other end of the system!”

“You did not finish that thought… we do not have to tell them about the war. They might not even know about it. Actually I think they really don’t do!”

“Oh great… so we have a nice chat via radio, visit each other and fly back to Magellan together then where we will just ready our torpedoes and fighters and launch the battle, which we postponed until our return.”

Bergander protested: “Frederick! No ship has gone through the jumphole for days or by now even for weeks! They will only know what we tell them! I don’t want the war, people like Greenstreet probably also don’t and Will does not want it either! He is almost a pacifist!”

“Now that really comforts me! Pacifists in the Liberty Navy. What if your friend is really dead or what if…” Herfeld’s face suddenly turned pale and he halted in the middle of the sentence.

“What’s up?!” Bergander went towards him and shook Herfeld slightly when no answer came.

“You said that they cannot know about the war because we are the first ones to jump into this system for days or weeks. Now please reconsider what you said! The Oregon is still missing and there is a battleship floating next to us, which appears very much like a dead wreckage! No radio transmissions, no ship launches! Do you actually understand what that means for us?!”

Struck by it Bergander opened his mouth and shut it again while Herfeld continued: “Sebastian, I do not wish to destroy your little plan, but how the hell do you want to get out of here again? Mister Reaburn’s letter indicates that other ships have gotten lost here before. We have… to consider the possibility that no ship has ever returned to Magellan from here.” Especially the last sentence seemed to have cost him a lot.

Shaking his head in refusal to accept this, Bergander had to think no matter of pirate Jack’s prophecy. It was mainly true. Even the last bit of it.
‘…And yours will be the next one.’ The Westerland had apparently not been the right ship. Right now the Belfast was lost as well and he had just been made Captain.
Up to now Sebastian Bergander had always refused to believe in supernatural phenomenons. He was religious, even Catholic, but only up to a certain point.
For the first time in his life he seriously considered believing in ghosts. All of this was just a nightmare. A nightmare, which had apparently been predictable and could have been prevented from becoming reality if he had just listened. He had not wanted to fly to Kepler and later to Magellan. It had been Merx’, Hansen’s and Herfeld’s idea. Especially the latter one had talked him into it. And now they were stuck. Just… if he had not come here, he would never have gotten Reaburn’s letter. On the other hand many people would have lived if he had simply stayed in Rhineland or returned to Gas Miner Naha. It was exactly Vincent Berkley’s dilemma. The chief engineer had killed himself because of it. The question was right now what Bergander should do.

Post Sun Jun 18, 2006 8:32 am

Chapter VI


“… So I wish that all of you treat Captain Bergander as if he was a Bretonian officer. Same goes for Lieutenant Commander Herfeld. He will become the ship’s new navigation officer. They are stuck with us and they want to help us with their experience. I am sure that…”

“Sorry, Sir. With all respect, Lieutenant Commander, I think that you are making a fault! Remember what happened to his ship during the manoeuvre! He almost lost it because of a few pirates. Why should we trust him and his officer, whom we do not even know?!” It was one of the injured bearded crewmembers sitting on a bed on the floor, who was speaking. The man had his arm bandaged and one of his legs in cast. Greenstreet probably considered these injuries as light. Even Bergander almost did, because he had seen worse right now.

Literally everyone was injured. The only one, who did not have any visible bandages wrapped around parts of his body, was the doctor himself, who was standing in the middle of the assembled crewmembers. There were few of them. Perhaps fifty people. About twenty others lay in beds the crew had taken here or on fields beds on the floor and had not yet awoken. It was more than a day ago since the Belfast had jumped here, but their injuries were so severe that Greenstreet had voiced serious concern about whether they would ever awake again.

His concern was Bergander’s right now. He did not know more than three or four people by name, but he had been asked to lead them.

“Well… I suppose the light cruiser class is simply not supposed to fly into the unregulated systems. The Belfast is a different kettle of fish.” Greenstreet was all but convincing.

The next remark by another crewmember could definitely be foreseen:
“Are you referring to the fact that there is even ten percent hull left at certain parts of this ship? I do not know how you see it, but I would prefer to be on his light cruiser right now!”

Two or three others definitely shared that opinion. The mood was about to turn against them. Herfeld had warned him again on their way here and told Bergander again what he already knew. The Belfast’s surviving crew was demoralized. The morale had suffered and as a consequence the discipline had already decreased. There were not enough officers left to keep the spirits up. Things were going wrong. The people let themselves go. Almost all men wore beards, some apparently had not even washed during the past days. The people had had time to think about their future and most apparently expected to die anyway. Resignation had kicked in.

Probably a Bretonian deck officer would have had to face very serious questions as well, perhaps even insubordination. A foreigner like Bergander could hardly expect anything else than hostility. It was the outlet for the stress and the fear. He was just the unlucky one who got the entire broadside. The wrong man at the wrong place at the wrong time, although Alexander Greenstreet had tried his best to convince people of the contrary.

The medical officer did not really know what to do and looked at him seeking help. Making a step forward in Greenstreet’s direction, Bergander followed the request. The Bretonian’s education had probably not included anything like this. Bergander’s had also not, but the Rhinelander had gained experience during the Great War. The Belfast’s crew did not act much differently than the people on the Westfalen had done. That time when he had faced a mutiny he had tried it with reason and failed. Perhaps it was time to try out a new way.

“I would be glad if you lent me one of your ears for a second.” Ignoring the angry remarks of the unwilling people, Bergander simply continued: “Thanks a lot. I can see and hear that you do not want me as commanding officer. I can understand that. The search, which you had to carry out to pick us up from the Nomad Research Station, brought you away from home for weeks. Weeks, which you could have spent at home in Bretonia instead of flying through Magellan’s nebula. I would have felt the same way. And after you found us even worse things happened. I think no one of us has yet fully realized that we are on war again. It was just too much, even for me.”

“A damn on your good words! No one here wants to hear them! You won’t get any sympathies from us! We are stuck in here because of you and your fine colleague! If you had stayed where you belong and kept your nose out of Liberty’s business everyone would still be alive!” It was the technician who had argued with Herfeld about half an hour ago, who spat these words out.

“Fine. Perhaps we should have. It doesn’t matter much that Bretonian freighters disappear in Magellan. It doesn’t matter that Liberty put taxes on Bretonian goods. I completely agree with you. You know… I am Rhinelander. You just stressed that. Now what the hell should I care about Bretonia?! Magellan is far away from Rhineland!”

“What are you doing?” Herfeld had followed him and whispered the question into his ear.

Greenstreet just looked completely stunned at Bergander.

Bergander did not care about either of them. “Let me be honest. I do not give a damn about Bretonia! It’s not my problem! Even the Belfast isn’t my problem. Fine… you want me to stay out of business and blame me for everything… I can live with that. I am ill you know. My temperature is still 38.7 and I could imagine better things than standing here and freeze. I will just go to the warm quarter deck and cure myself. It would also be better for my shot wounds. I am not keen on doing anything here. The Belfast is a Bretonian ship. I did not ask for being picked up by you. I definitely did not advice your Commander Shelby to jump into this forsaken system. That one is really not my fault. Blame someone else for it. You would not have made it back through the collapsing jumphole and let me tell you something: You won’t make it back this way in the near future either.”

The technician shot back: “You do not know anything more about this system than I do!”

“I agree with you. So if you think that this enables you to initiate a mutiny and assume command instead of your senior officer, feel free to do so. Why don’t you shoot everyone who is against you or higher in rank like it is possible to happen in such cases? I don’t care too much whether I live or die. Dieing is not that difficult you know. So far everyone managed to do so. I suppose I will as well.”

“Captain!” Greenstreet almost refused to believe his own ears. He had put a hand in front of his mouth as if he tried to suppress further expressions of his horrification.

“Do you hear him? He is insane! Our doc wants a madman to become Captain!”

“I am clear in mind, Mister! I just certainly know one thing: If you do not make decisions fairly soon or let them be made for you we will all die here. That is what I mean. If you want to initiate a mutiny, do so. It is not much worse than the conditions, which you already have on this ship. Please do whatever you prefer. Lieutenant Berkley shot himself in his cabin at four a.m. As far as I see it he will not be the last one. Soon the Belfast will only be another wreckage floating close to the place where the jumphole was. The deadline is in a few months when the supplies run out. I dunno how many your have stored and I do not really care about it. When they run out the Belfast will be a coffin. You will be responsible for that. Not me. You. Find your way home without me. I am beyond caring.” Turning around he simply left.

It took a good while until someone followed him. That person grabbed his arm and pulled him backwards by force. Bergander had not assumed that Frederick Herfeld was somewhat strong. Still he tried to walk ahead and asked over one shoulder: “Would you please be so kind?”

“Goddamn! Are you really mad? Greenstreet almost got a nervous breakdown. What did you just think, when...” After loosening his grip on Bergander’s arm he made a quick step backwards. “Sorry. I understand. You did it on purpose, right?”

“Yes. In one respect. They shall make up their minds and re-establish a definite command structure. I don’t care whether we are part of it or not. If they don’t manage that I cannot help it. I mean they still don’t even have a list of the surviving crew members and their injuries. I suggested it right when we arrived at the emergency bridge for the first time. Do you remember it? Or take Lieutenant Berkley… I mean… they just left him in his cabin. No one cares about it. Just like no one removes the dead from the hangar deck. They just put them into a corner and cover them. Nothing is being done about the hangardeck anyway… or even the navigation systems. They just cared about the main drive although even an idiot would refuse to jump anywhere else while the ship is in such a critical condition. The hull breaches could enlarge and turn this ship into a second Essex! They just stopped using their brains!”

“Your method of swinging the big wooden hammer was a good wake-up call I guess. I did not expect to hear such harsh words from you.”

“Frederick, I also got two eyes in my face and they still function. Same goes for my brain.”

“I never voiced any doubt about that.”

“You did less than two minutes ago.” Bergander corrected him.

“Well… I admit that I thought for a few moments that you were having a little blackout.”

“No. You thought that I do not care about things and fell into Greenstreet’s back.”

“If you allow me having doubts, it really looked as if you stopped caring about the agreement. You made him look like an idiot and even suggested that they start killing us. Your ice-bucket strategy might perhaps work, but couldn’t you have done it otherwise?”

Laughing sarcastically Bergander wanted to know: “And how do you imagine that to work? Imagine your former Captain when the Westerland was still called Odin. Would you have listened prior to the mutiny?”

“That is not a comparable situation. The situation on the hangardeck had nothing in common with a real mutiny! It was merely insubordination!”

“During the Great War I have made the experience that a mutiny mostly starts with a mere insubordination. The situation was comparable to what I have experienced on the Westfalen. The crew’s morale was as bad back then because we were losing the Great War. The thin line can be crossed within seconds if there is just an initiating spark. Back then I tried to reason with those people. They put me and a friend into an escape pod and launched it. I cite their words which were something like: ‘We do not care whether the secret service or the enemy retrieves you, we just want to get rid of you.’ This time I simply did the opposite. I wanted to make them think about what they are doing or better said not doing. The youngest seaman as well as Greenstreet and the other officers, who are left.”

“You even made me think, Sebastian.”

“Not a bad thing either I suppose. Different ways lead to the destination. Whether this one does, we shall see. It would definitely not have made any sense to try to operate the ship with a crew refusing to obey orders.”

“You don’t like it if people disobey your orders. That’s it, right?”

“No, Frederick. If the situation requires it I am always open for any kind of correction. Just not this way. I prefer a talk about it later on, but not a refusal. I want people to think about what they are doing and about what I am doing. Admiral Niethammer quoted the bible when the Westerland left the Oder shipyard. All of us are humans and therefore doomed to fail sometimes. I am far from perfect. My decisions might not always be the right ones.”

“How could people correct you if you don’t tell them about your intentions? I would have liked to know about your little strategy. You caught me as much by surprise as you caught the Bretonians. You mentioned it so please don’t be angry, but your words and that kind of behaviour remind me very much of the Asgard. Their command structure worked just the same way. That is why we refused in the end. Blind obeying of orders and no room for…”

After a few seconds Bergander had gotten the meaning of Herfeld’s words and he interrupted him harshly: “You don’t know what you are saying! How can you even dare to compare me to the people who committed various crimes against humanity?! I would have refused to throw bombs on New Tokyo just because the Shogun didn’t surrender. I would never have killed unarmed crewmembers on a seized ship. In the end the Asgard killed those who have surrendered on the Rügen! It would always have been impossible for me to do anything like that!”
Letting Herfeld stand in front of his cabin, he headed quicker for the next bulkhead and shot back over his shoulder: “I am at the sick bay!”

When he arrived he searched for the room where he had been taken. It seemed like if it had been weeks or months, but it was not even two days ago that he had left from here. Things had changed so rapidly…

Wondering about what he actually did here he switched on the room light and picked up a chair from the floor, sitting down on it for a second. Looking at the chaos in the room he shook his head. It was just the way he left it apart from the fact that some people had taken his bed down to the hangardeck and therefore had removed the door as well to get the bed out of the room. Despite of all the mess in here it felt good to be alone. Just the sound of the life support systems was to be heard.

Now after some thought he realized why he had come. It was his friend’s letter that had called him. He was torturing himself and he knew it, but still he longed for the words written on the paper. Will Reaburn’s words about Sebastian Bergander always making things right. Right now the Rhinelander rather felt like turning everything he touched into chaos. The last two months just had been a major trauma starting with the voyage to New London after he had received Dale Baxter’s invitation.

Slowly he got up again and started to search. The letter was somewhere in his room. It was the only thing that remained of Will Reaburn. His friend was…

At that point Bergander’s thinking paused for a second. “My god… Will! Where the hell did I have my brain?!”
His words were only audible to himself as quiet as he spoke them out.

It had become a common measure to accept his friend’s death and quickly think about something else when grief overwhelmed him. But now it was to him as if he saw the world with other eyes. The Oregon had been close to the Nomad Research Station and disappeared after that. That thought was common knowledge, but not in connection to… the fact that they had disappeared as well! No other ship had followed them. Liberty had indeed scratched the Belfast from their list, expecting the cruiser to get destroyed, but it was not! They were here and alive! Feverishly he continued his search as if the letter was the connection. The connection that could tell him whether Will Reaburn was perhaps alive as well! He wanted to touch it… feel the paper between his fingers. The same paper his friend had touched months ago. He had to find it! And even more important… he had to find Reaburn! At the end he even got down to his knees searching at the floor while the plan in his mind took further shape.

All he had to do was asking Greenstreet for a Clydesdale or even Crusader. Bergander was willing to take anything as long as it flew. He was going to find the Oregon. Whether it meant becoming prisoner or not did not matter for him. Just getting there mattered. It was somewhat great to have hope again!

“Luckily I do not have to command this rustbucket. Bless this freaking dude refusing to accept me as Captain!” he said aloud, even smiling.

Just the answer made him shiver and cry out in surprise. “Actually that was not the kind of attitude we expected to encounter, Sir.”

When he glanced at the door Bergander recognized Lieutenant Dunningham. The officer’s face did not reveal anything about his thoughts, but the face of the man accompanying him did so. The expression was… interesting to say the very least.

“Eeehhh…” Bergander smiled stupidly and tried to think hard about anything that could erase his words from the Bretonians’ minds. Otherwise his plan might even be screwed before he could even ask Lieutenant Commander Greenstreet about the freighter. Right now he would give everything in this world for being able to take these words back. Bretonians were patriotic.

Indeed Dunningham was all but smiling. Bergander felt very awkward under the man’s accusing eyes until the Lieutenant finally spoke: “I am sorry to disturb you in… this important matter you are currently dealing with, Sir… but I have orders to bring you in my function as the rustbucket’s chief engineer the freaking dude who wants to apologize for his insubordination. As his superior I of course carry the responsibility for any insults that he may have voiced in your presence. I can assure you that he will never voice anything like that again and I would also like to tell you about the crew’s best regards. Lieutenant Commander Greenstreet personally instructed me to send his compliments and he would like to know whether you would have the kindness to join him and the other members of the ship’s officer corps in the mess to a little tea time and a brief chat about a few matters concerning this ship.”

Staring at the stiff Bretonian Lieutenant in open disbelief, Bergander repeated dull: “Tea time?” The Bretonians had apparently gone entirely crazy!

“Yes, Sir. So would you have the utmost kindness to listen to crewman Crampton’s apology?”

Figuring that it was probably best if he got up quickly from the floor and ignored how absurd the entire situation was, he nodded and did so. Apparently the Bretonians were as relieved as Bergander was when Crampton had stuttered a few sentences and asked the Rhinelander for permission to leave after that. It was a thing Bergander allowed with pleasure, because he still tried to think about what he did at best now. He did not want the Belfast, all he wanted was a shuttle and some supplies. This time it would be a tough one to get out of it. He knew that it was selfish, but in contrast to ten minutes ago he now desperately wished the Bretonians’ passive behaviour back. He thought hard about it, but he did not see any way while he followed Dunningham, who lead the way to the officer’s mess.

The Bretonians in the mess hall all arose at once when he entered. The remark about the captain entering the room would have made him laugh about a quarter of an hour ago. Right now it definitely was not funny anymore. He had gotten what he wanted, but only at a time when he did not want anymore what he had gotten. The victory was none and it tasted therefore bitter.

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