Keep it up FD.
Ph34r d4 C/-//_/p4c4br4
Edited by - Chupa on 7/14/2005 9:37:34 AM
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Freelancer: The Future pt2 (On going) 8-7-05
Read, add and comment on excellent written stories by fans, set within the Freelancer universe
33 posts
• Page 2 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:45 am
The next section will be posted tonight. 
Wilde, I do not mind a little feed back, but not what is more of what an editor would do. This is just FanFic, not a book. There a watchfull eye would be needed more, but not here. Also, you have to take into account Style of the witer, as not all writes do it the same.
Wilde, I do not mind a little feed back, but not what is more of what an editor would do. This is just FanFic, not a book. There a watchfull eye would be needed more, but not here. Also, you have to take into account Style of the witer, as not all writes do it the same.
Thu Jul 14, 2005 11:43 am
All right, people, settle down. Let's all have a nice big TLR group hug!
Seriously, though, I think it's probably best if we all just sit back and let FD get on with the story.
After all you know what they say---"Don't judge a Freelancer Fan Fic by its first chapter."
Okay. I'm the only one who said that...but you know what I mean.
Edited by - neuromancer on 7/14/2005 12:44:03 PM
Seriously, though, I think it's probably best if we all just sit back and let FD get on with the story.
After all you know what they say---"Don't judge a Freelancer Fan Fic by its first chapter."
Okay. I'm the only one who said that...but you know what I mean.
Edited by - neuromancer on 7/14/2005 12:44:03 PM
Thu Jul 14, 2005 4:17 pm
Trent had just reached the landing platform when a man stepped from hiding. He was an informant that Trent had hired. Seemed like there were too many these days on both sides. This one though was paid to follow razor and report on his whereabouts. Trent wanted badly to talk to him away from Hovis. He thought he might be able to convince him to come back on this side of the fence and still use his skills. It wasn’t too late if it was stopped before a conflict occurred.
After the short talk, he had a location for a meeting. He contacted King and advised he was going to disappear for a few days, but not to worry. And, he told him not to tell Juni. The would be hard enough, with out causing her to worry as well. He refueled and had his systems checked out while he got a drink in the bar.
The bartender was a little too friendly to Trent, but that wasn’t what set Trent to worrying. It was when the drink arrived. It was a sidewinder fang. Few knew it was his drink of choice. Something was wrong here.
From a corner booth, a wiry man nodded to another standing next to Trent at the bar, who then reached beneath his coat and withdrew a pistol and pushed it into his ribs. “Not a sound, or you die here, is that understood” the man rasped. All Trent could do was nod, for the moment. They headed for the door the man indicated.
Out in the alleyway behind the bar, the man spoke again, “A certain person wants to have a talk with you, so we’re going to take a little shuttle trip and meet him.”
“What about my ship, and just who is it that wants to see me?” Trent asked back.
“No more questions for now, and your ship will still be here when you get back” the man replied.
Trent reached slowly into his pocket and hit a button he had put in just days before. It activated a beacon and a recorder in his ship, and would record any conversation he was apart of, as long as he was in range. Leaving the planet, was not counted on. “So we go meet this friend and then what?” Trent asked trying to get information to record.
“I said, no more talking. He paid me to deliver you, but didn’t say what condition you had to be in when I get you there, so keep quiet or your sleeping all the way there if you take my drift” the man replied tersely.
Orillion paced back and forth. He didn’t like not knowing. King had gotten word of Trent’s undercover work and was not happy with it. It was too risky to us a top level person, and one that is as well known as Trent. The message from Trent’s ship, is what had him pacing. Could they get any information from Trent?, Or would they harm him just out of spite. This was too close to getting out of hand. Too much was at stake with the upcoming meetings with the Kavash.
The meeting Orillion was talking about, was one to define trade relations between the two peoples and wether interacting was even in either race’s favor or not. They were very hesitant to say the least. Orillion and others saw it as the best way to avoid an unnecessary war that others wanted. Sirius was still recovering as it was, any more would bring it down.
The com panel lit at that moment drawing him back to the moment. “Orillion here.” The sender passed on information he had for Orillion and logged off. Orillion scarcely paid any attention to it. He was more interested to the person on the monitor that displayed the landing area on the Osiris.
The figure turned and walked toward a ship, an Anubis, and climbed into the cockpit. Orillion hit the com, “Stop that ship and bring the pilot to me, Now!” he spoke and headed into his office.
Edited by - Finalday on 7/20/2005 9:16:47 AM
After the short talk, he had a location for a meeting. He contacted King and advised he was going to disappear for a few days, but not to worry. And, he told him not to tell Juni. The would be hard enough, with out causing her to worry as well. He refueled and had his systems checked out while he got a drink in the bar.
The bartender was a little too friendly to Trent, but that wasn’t what set Trent to worrying. It was when the drink arrived. It was a sidewinder fang. Few knew it was his drink of choice. Something was wrong here.
From a corner booth, a wiry man nodded to another standing next to Trent at the bar, who then reached beneath his coat and withdrew a pistol and pushed it into his ribs. “Not a sound, or you die here, is that understood” the man rasped. All Trent could do was nod, for the moment. They headed for the door the man indicated.
Out in the alleyway behind the bar, the man spoke again, “A certain person wants to have a talk with you, so we’re going to take a little shuttle trip and meet him.”
“What about my ship, and just who is it that wants to see me?” Trent asked back.
“No more questions for now, and your ship will still be here when you get back” the man replied.
Trent reached slowly into his pocket and hit a button he had put in just days before. It activated a beacon and a recorder in his ship, and would record any conversation he was apart of, as long as he was in range. Leaving the planet, was not counted on. “So we go meet this friend and then what?” Trent asked trying to get information to record.
“I said, no more talking. He paid me to deliver you, but didn’t say what condition you had to be in when I get you there, so keep quiet or your sleeping all the way there if you take my drift” the man replied tersely.
Orillion paced back and forth. He didn’t like not knowing. King had gotten word of Trent’s undercover work and was not happy with it. It was too risky to us a top level person, and one that is as well known as Trent. The message from Trent’s ship, is what had him pacing. Could they get any information from Trent?, Or would they harm him just out of spite. This was too close to getting out of hand. Too much was at stake with the upcoming meetings with the Kavash.
The meeting Orillion was talking about, was one to define trade relations between the two peoples and wether interacting was even in either race’s favor or not. They were very hesitant to say the least. Orillion and others saw it as the best way to avoid an unnecessary war that others wanted. Sirius was still recovering as it was, any more would bring it down.
The com panel lit at that moment drawing him back to the moment. “Orillion here.” The sender passed on information he had for Orillion and logged off. Orillion scarcely paid any attention to it. He was more interested to the person on the monitor that displayed the landing area on the Osiris.
The figure turned and walked toward a ship, an Anubis, and climbed into the cockpit. Orillion hit the com, “Stop that ship and bring the pilot to me, Now!” he spoke and headed into his office.
Edited by - Finalday on 7/20/2005 9:16:47 AM
Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:21 am
fine, I shall shut up.
You missed this?
Though I still say I fail to see the point of submitting your work to an audience if you don't accept criticism meant to make it better . Always part of writing and submitting writing is being critiqued. And if all you say is "if you don't like it, don't read it" in response to the problems, when you could either construct an argument on how the problems do not in truth exist or if the criticism is valid fix said problems, what are you doing but letting your work rot?
What would you say to a professional critic, or to an editor? "If you don't like it, don't read it"? That doesn't make the work any better. And every work of literature in its first form is flawed.
But I did say I'd shut up. So off I go.
Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:35 pm
The com panel lit at that moment drawing him back to the moment. “Orillion here.” The sender passed on information he had for Orillion and logged off. Orillion scarcely paid any attention to it. He was more interested to the person on the monitor that displayed the landing area on the Osiris.
The figure turned and walked toward a ship, an Anubis, and climbed into the cockpit. Orillion hit the com, “Stop that ship and bring the pilot to me, Now!” he spoke and headed into his office.
The door slid back to reveal a pilot and two guards. They prodded the pilot into the room. He was getting antsy and wanted to get off the ship, quickly. Orillion pointed to the chair in the center of the room. The guards made sure he was comfortable.
“Now Red Robin, or whatever your real name is, what are you doing on my ship?” the command came.
The man grew white in the face. He was not prepared to be interrogated. His orders had not included this, nor was his pay high enough to make it worth the while. He began to spill it all, the traps, the disorder spreading, everything. And it included what lay in wait for Trent.
Orillion contacted Junko and informed her of the situation and told her to stay put. He would have men rescue Trent. Juni nodded yes, but her heart screamed no. She had to get out there. Trent would do it for her. She knew it was a risk, but she suited up and headed for the hanger area. She put a call into the supply chief to have her ship fully armed for her.
Trent awoke on an empty deck. The bar and all was stripped of chairs and tables. Two men argued near the view ports. Trent could see ships racing near by and figured where he was and who wanted him here, Hovis.
Razor left the room walking by Trent, But hovis just pulled up a chair that was brought to him and turned it backwards and sat.
“What are we going to do with you, tenderfoot?” the question hung in the air.
“You might consider just letting me go, you know.” Trent responded as he sat up. His head ached from the hit he took from behind.
“”No, I can’t do that, it would just cause complications to our plans, and we don’t want that, now do we” Hovis said sarcastically.
For over an hour Hovis grilled Trent and what he knew. Ship strategy, deployments and other information that would benefit “The Cause” as they were now calling themselves. His people where prepared for the war, but wanted an advantage over the Kavash. This one, was going to be thier ticket.
Juni, despite all precautions, was being followed. King had put the beacon on her ship just as a precaution, but now, to protect her, it would pay off. She neared the battle ship that was holding Trent. Racers were seen on the far side. She transmitted the code to land and was given permission. She had to be careful. There was no telling what lay in wait and even if she was expected.
King puled in close to the ship and scanned. He found both targets and ten others around or near them. This was not going to be easy. He was angry that Juni took off without saying anything. Now there would be two hostages for the cause.
Juni climbed out of her ship drawing her weapon. She knew someone would be by in seconds to check on who just docked. She made her way into the ship to the area Trent had told her about back when he first visited this ship. They had raced for information about the location of a man they needed to talk to.
She was amazed she had not seen anyone yet. This set bells off in her head, a trap. Juni released the safety on the weapon and prepared to fire. She rounded a corner running straight into a security patrol. She fired and dived for the deck. Two went down quickly, the other one hit the alarm and drew his weapon and fired. She was grazed on her left arm. The pain made her cry out.
Trent and Hovis in the adjoining room heard her. Trent went to move to see if he could help, but Hovis drew his weapon and pointed it at him, “Not so fast tenderfoot, just sit back down and we’ll wait for the company to join us.”
The guards alerted now, moved in and pinned her down. She received a second wound in he side. She raised her hands and said, “Ok, ok you win, I give up.”
They pointed all weapons at her as she pulled herself up. She hurt now though. The indicated the hatch on the right and she moved into the bar area where Trent was seated.
Edited by - Finalday on 8/8/2005 6:28:06 PM
The figure turned and walked toward a ship, an Anubis, and climbed into the cockpit. Orillion hit the com, “Stop that ship and bring the pilot to me, Now!” he spoke and headed into his office.
The door slid back to reveal a pilot and two guards. They prodded the pilot into the room. He was getting antsy and wanted to get off the ship, quickly. Orillion pointed to the chair in the center of the room. The guards made sure he was comfortable.
“Now Red Robin, or whatever your real name is, what are you doing on my ship?” the command came.
The man grew white in the face. He was not prepared to be interrogated. His orders had not included this, nor was his pay high enough to make it worth the while. He began to spill it all, the traps, the disorder spreading, everything. And it included what lay in wait for Trent.
Orillion contacted Junko and informed her of the situation and told her to stay put. He would have men rescue Trent. Juni nodded yes, but her heart screamed no. She had to get out there. Trent would do it for her. She knew it was a risk, but she suited up and headed for the hanger area. She put a call into the supply chief to have her ship fully armed for her.
Trent awoke on an empty deck. The bar and all was stripped of chairs and tables. Two men argued near the view ports. Trent could see ships racing near by and figured where he was and who wanted him here, Hovis.
Razor left the room walking by Trent, But hovis just pulled up a chair that was brought to him and turned it backwards and sat.
“What are we going to do with you, tenderfoot?” the question hung in the air.
“You might consider just letting me go, you know.” Trent responded as he sat up. His head ached from the hit he took from behind.
“”No, I can’t do that, it would just cause complications to our plans, and we don’t want that, now do we” Hovis said sarcastically.
For over an hour Hovis grilled Trent and what he knew. Ship strategy, deployments and other information that would benefit “The Cause” as they were now calling themselves. His people where prepared for the war, but wanted an advantage over the Kavash. This one, was going to be thier ticket.
Juni, despite all precautions, was being followed. King had put the beacon on her ship just as a precaution, but now, to protect her, it would pay off. She neared the battle ship that was holding Trent. Racers were seen on the far side. She transmitted the code to land and was given permission. She had to be careful. There was no telling what lay in wait and even if she was expected.
King puled in close to the ship and scanned. He found both targets and ten others around or near them. This was not going to be easy. He was angry that Juni took off without saying anything. Now there would be two hostages for the cause.
Juni climbed out of her ship drawing her weapon. She knew someone would be by in seconds to check on who just docked. She made her way into the ship to the area Trent had told her about back when he first visited this ship. They had raced for information about the location of a man they needed to talk to.
She was amazed she had not seen anyone yet. This set bells off in her head, a trap. Juni released the safety on the weapon and prepared to fire. She rounded a corner running straight into a security patrol. She fired and dived for the deck. Two went down quickly, the other one hit the alarm and drew his weapon and fired. She was grazed on her left arm. The pain made her cry out.
Trent and Hovis in the adjoining room heard her. Trent went to move to see if he could help, but Hovis drew his weapon and pointed it at him, “Not so fast tenderfoot, just sit back down and we’ll wait for the company to join us.”
The guards alerted now, moved in and pinned her down. She received a second wound in he side. She raised her hands and said, “Ok, ok you win, I give up.”
They pointed all weapons at her as she pulled herself up. She hurt now though. The indicated the hatch on the right and she moved into the bar area where Trent was seated.
Edited by - Finalday on 8/8/2005 6:28:06 PM
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