Also, I'm not to big on the hunter killer type mission, I like the cargo ships myself and like going that route if that matters in selecting a place to play online.

You have to start from scratch on a server, but once you have, the character is saved by the server - so you can rejoin and continue at any time (as long as server is 24/7). You can have up to 5 characters on servers, so you can start a variety of characters, and its easy to swap from one to another. However, each new char or new server you start on will require you to start in a starflier once more.
Good servers? Find one wtih a low ping, but reasonably active - so that you can interact with other players.

I've been having fun on the [MC Freeport 7 24/7 server. Very little lag, good policing, good people, reasonably active, though it seems to be slowing a bit recently.

Another one is Eagle Utopia, although I don't ping with it very well so making kills is hard. If you're running freight, you probably won't have much trouble.

So how do you join a server though? I tried via the FL multiplayer option on start up, but it just consistently says that it's connecting to server, or global, or host or something like that. How do I input the IP address, or URL of the server manually? Please bear with me as I'm not that internet savvy.

That sounds VERY much like the firewall. Find your firewall settings. If you use Macafee - then bottom left you will see a logo - hover the cursor over it, and it will say the name of the firewall. Right click, and an options list will come up - probabily with level of security and stuff. Click on the options tab if it has one, or just double click on the icon once more to start your firewalls actual application.

There maybe a large tab looking like a computer saying "Internet applicaions" - there may not, but you want to find out internet permissions - so have a look around on top nav bar or icons on the page. When you find it, click and you should see a list of things with permissions for the internet. You should be able to find something that says "allow new application" or "add new permission" or something like that - click it. Now it should open a familiar browswer window - just like when you save a document. Navigate your way to your freelancer folder:
C:/program files/microsoft games/freelancer/exe/
Inside the exe file find the freelancer.exe file - and double click to allow it access. Once done, it should add it to the list. Now you can exit your firewall, and try once more.

If you ever play a modthat changes the version number of the Freelancer.exe - a la TNG, Evolutions etc etc - you will have to REDO this proceedure to allow the new version through!!

Hope that sorts you out.