Yes, even in my limited Star Trek experience I've always considering beaming down with Kirk while wearing a red shirt akin to a death sentence.

I was going to break down the figures but someone beat me to it..

redshirt deaths - a statistical analysis

(five unlucky redshirts in Obsession, but eleven! in The Tholian Web..)



Edited by - Tawakalna on 9/12/2007 10:05:06 AM

in other words, kirk + redshirt = instant doom!

kirk + women + redshirt = slightly less doom.

(according to the site)

however, in my experience, men + women = doom.

how does adding the element of kirkonioum make this equation more stable?

something to ponder....

007

Kirkonium has a very detrimental effect on human beings. it makes them contort their faces strangely, lose upper body wear (except for vests which are usually ripped) tell terrible jokes, and if found on an alien planet filed with primitive females, causes the afflicted to call himself "Kirok" and shout loudly at the heavens. Dreadful stuff.

Picardite on the other hand has no such pronounced side-effects other than an increase in personal gravitas, loss of haor, and a penchant for Earl Grey tea (hot)

we'd better not get started on Janewayvium, my thighs can't take that sort of slapping.

taw taw taw..

your forgeting about archeronioum, and siskonioum...

i suppose archeronioum could cause a sudden affection for beagles, and a unstoppable urge to play and or watch water polo....

and siskonioum could cause randem transendence to a higher plain... that and the odd craving to solar sail...

(honestly, why leave a SHEILED ship with the dominion and what not running around? *shakes head...* )

007

sorry, I don't agree. Archerium, the most common isotope of archeronium, causes bizarre timeline shifts and makes you wonder if everything you ever knew was all just a lie, especially when you wake up on a holodeck ina Dallas-style (it was all just a dream) It also makes you like cheap c*ck-rock theme tunes.

Siskonium on the other hands totally kicks @ss and promotes growth of really cool beards.

Siskonian only teaches 1 thing....that beards rock! I want one!

bah..

mine were funnier, but ill give you a nickel for trying taw..

007

Edited by - 007 on 9/14/2007 8:41:22 PM

pardon me for getting in late, these probably aren't as funny seeing as how I don't focus on individual characters as much as the overall storyline (DS9, of all the ST franchise, was the only one to have a consistent story that led places... true some of them were lame, bleached-background, vaseline-covered-camera-lens places, but not all of them ) enjoy

Odonium: bestows on it's user the power to be super bland and anal retentive? side effects include melting, pooling, puddling, and strong urges to 'link' with other Odonium users

O'Brienatilum: instantly makes one competent in the repair of federation technology, with only a minor side-effect of war-flashback PTSD and an overwhelming urge to play darts with swarthy smart-aleck doctors

Kerzonurubaum: changes the users gender, side effects include freckles, sexual promiscuity, and awkward relationships with old friends who are now possible suitors

Quarkygen: grants the ability to imperceptibly water down drinks, cheat others of their latinum, and generally be a total **** to everyone including your own brother, while suffering no ill consequences (of course, you never do -win- but you never really out-and-out lose either... mediocrity is the essence of Quarkygen)

Worfalidate: grants the user super strength, courage, and a forehead that can juice oranges (neat!) side effects include a penchant for plums and wearing robot-track-tread around one's chest as well as an increased sensitivity to jokes about ones parents.

beats the whole thread haha

edit - I'm not copying and pasting! so I made it a proper link very enjoyable vid! I always did wonder whether Kirk's erm *pursuits* were actually hiding something, he got his shirt off far too often for my comfort.




Edited by - Tawakalna on 9/16/2007 11:29:36 AM

funny I always thought Kirkonium's side effects were overacting, getting you rear handed to you in every episode by someone half your size, and the eventual and seemingly unavoidable retirement to doing discount travel commercials.

funny thing is I've only ever watched one episode of the original after about 5 minutes I lost all interest and fell asleep

MY EYES!!!!!

007