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Making Amends

This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.

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blackhole

Post Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:43 am

Making Amends

I don't know how to begin this post, so i shall begin it with an explanation.

Since i first posted on a forum, i've had a talent for pissing people off and making a total fool of myself. Only recently did i figure out i had this problem, ever since then i have been attempting over and over again, fighting to maintain at least some piece of sanity. On every single forum save for a single exception, i have blown it up, i've given them reason to shun me, to despise me and to believe i am completely immature, which isn't too far from the truth. TLR is no different, except that its a community of 6000 people and i have somehow managed to piss them all off. Believe me, it's not pleasent knowing that 6000 people have less than positive opinions about you.

The start of the openlancer project marked the beginning of a slew of not-so-smart decisions that i have been regretting ever since. If i had my way, i wouldn't have started openlancer until a month ago, when i learned C++ and would be able to code it myself. But, as many of us know, we can't change the past, and i am no exception. I've known i've been making poor decisions, i strive to learn from them and attempt not to repeat them. In the previous thread, i don't know if you were aware of it but i was trying my best to be as diplomatic as possible. I didn't scream, i didn't shout, i didn't yell like a 5 year old, and yet somehow i managed to annoy a moderator to the point of him locking the thread. Obviously, my attempts at diplomacy had failed miserably. This is the exact reason why i gave up my leadership position at openlancer, i fail miserably at any attempt at diplomacy.

What am i doing wrong and what must i do to convince this community i'm not another mean person that should be ignored?

The Shroud (lurking)

Post Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:06 am

Time for my Forum ettiqete list.

1. Try not to get into arguments.
2. Don't flame people unless they really deserve it.
3. Always be polite to the mods\admins.
4. Try to think out your posts before making it, proofread it to remove any objectional content.
5. Follow the rules of the board.
6. Spell check your posts
8. No leet speak. Ever.
9. Don't widen the pages with you posts, and go easy on the images. We still have to think of the dial uppers.
10. If you have a question, ask. It's much better to look a bit silly then to get flamed by making a post they found offfensive.

This is also good for breaking in first time forumers

All grumpy rants subject to copyright.
The Shroud©/RvB TMC©

Tawakalna

Post Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:44 am

I don't believe that anyone actually despises you, blackhole, nor does anyone wish to shun you. However, as I've learnt from my own experience, there are ways to express yourself that work and ways that do not. Your work on Openlancer is appreciated and respected, as indeed the project itself is, and afaik most people look forward to seeing it come to fruition, in the fullness of time.

As you've no doubt realised though, criticising and castigating the site and it's community is not going to get you or the project anything but a negative reaction and dismissal. I'm hardly "Mr Diplomacy" myself but I've learnt that there is absolutely no point in falling out with people over something like this especially when you're on the outside trying to get in. TLR is a good, friendly community run by decent people and the people who've stayed and contributed over the years, and it's been quite some time now, are also good sorts, even that Rabbit-thing it's one of the reasons why, on the whole, I've stayed here over the years, despite my own occasional "spats" (which are all in the past and we won't say anything more about that!)

Personally I hope that Openlancer turns out to be everything it promises to be, and I'm sure that approached properly, plenty of help should be forthcoming.

Don't put yourself down too much, you're a clever guy and very good at what you do, no-one at TLR ever holds grudges and your post I'm sure has done much to pour oil on troubled waters.

Chips

Post Sun Sep 24, 2006 12:55 pm

it's not pleasent knowing that 6000 people have less than positive opinions about you.

There is zero chance that this many people have a less than positive opinion. As with everything, you tend to hear from those who shout loudest - and that's always the detractors. You also tend to remember bad things better than good (throughout life) - which enhances the image that things are worse than they are. They aren't, not even remotely.

You tend to try and address those that don't understand/support what you are doing. You shouldn't concentrate on those - only concentrate on those that do support it/believe in the project and it's potential. You won't change a sceptics mind with words on a page, so I wouldn't try. Concentrate on those that want to hear or are interested, and let "word of mouth" do the rest instead. Diverting your attention to the sceptics damages three ways - you waste your time, it also detracts from keeping the interested parties interested... and worst yet, it can end up making things look bad - which may drive people away instead of attract them too it.

You don't have to be diplomatic, just shift focus onto interested people only, and politely answer questions of others. If they aren't happy with your answers or carry on, just ignore them.

Cold_Void

Post Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:38 pm

I like you blackhole - i can't say i believe in OL but i do hope it becomes a new focus for our community which is slowly dying of attrition. gamers are a fickle lot and there have been plenty of new, superior SP-only games in the space-sim-genre to lure them away, but the question of whether OL can arrive in time to become a new force on TLR before the FL fanbase is totally exhausted (and sure, i don't think FL will ever be *dead* but there's a difference between a lively community and.. well the bridge commander community for example) is totally up in the air, as far as i see it

the first step, in my poorly informed opinion, to winning over some more support from the community would be some results to show it - i've read your documentation and it looks thourough enough, but people need to see demonstrated competence before they'll respect leadership (as we've all been noticing lately in politics..harumph)


Edited by - Cold_Void on 9/24/2006 2:40:04 PM

Xca|iber

Post Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:06 pm

Well, you've got my support. I followed OL since its development (never really posted, but read the threads every day) and I would want to help with it. I certainly don't despise you.

Also, moderators, sorry 'bout posting the topic, I didn't mean for it to go that way or think it was quite that sensitive.

My 2 cents

richard s

Post Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:41 pm

nobody can rain on my parade or shock me so dont worry abot it. just lighten up on the admins alot people have real life issues to face mods and lancers reactor sometimes take a back seat. i know its tough from my side messing with mods new ideas then comes work the wife all this stuff builds up sometimes the server is down for a couple of days. for all of us this is ahobby . sometimes hobbys have to take a back seat to real life. just keep up the good work and pluggen at it it might just all fall into place. everything takes time.

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