Sun Jan 29, 2006 12:07 pm
words of wisdom...
This has been a very difficult weekend for me. I've learned a life lesson that was painful and tragic at the same time. I lost a very near and dear friend this weekend. Although she is still alive, she is very very far from well. When I say I lost her that means I will probably never she her again. I probably will never speak with her again. I probably will never hug her again. I doubt I will ever be the same and it had nothing to do with anything I did. It cuts like a knife.
I tried to help, I did everything a good friend should do. I tried to keep her out of harms way. I tried to talk her out of the hell she found herself in. Nothing worked. In the end she slipped away from me into a world even I denied existed. I'm hear to tell you when I saw the world she was in it was shocking to me. I truly thought I had seen the worse, I was so wrong. By all standrads, she was in a living hell. I will never be the same person. It has affected me unlike even I could imagine.
I cared for this friend and became close to her over the past few months. I still care for her, but I'm coming to grips with the fact that will never be enough. She put herself into this hell by her own bad choices.
She dissappear from reality last week. I hunted for her in some of the worse places imaginable this past Friday. I kept telling myself I just want to find her alive. As it turns out, it might have been better to find her dead. I will never forget where I did find her and the shape she was in. I looked into her eyes and where I used to see that sparkle of light, incredible sense of humor and the warmest heart I've ever felt I saw nothing but cold emptiness. A look devoid of life, a ghost of former herself.
The life lesson I have learned is simple. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, friends sometimes can not be saved from themselves. It's a harsh reality pill to swallow and I'm still trying to choke it down 48 hours later.
The details are irrelevant. What is important in the message is in this world there is a lot of sadness that is out of our control. You can spend a lifetime living the right way, surround yourself with family and good friends and darkness can still rear it's ugly head. That is life.
Cherish your friends. Try to keep an eye on them. Don't view them through rose colored glasses, you might miss something important. And never forget that sometimes no matter what you do, you can not save some of them. All you can do is be there to pick up the pieces.
Rob "Stinger" Lordier
You like poems? --> Voicesnet.com
Creator of the original Privateer FAQ
old Favorite saying - No good deed goes unpunished
Edited by - Stinger on 1/29/2006 12:09:11 PM
I tried to help, I did everything a good friend should do. I tried to keep her out of harms way. I tried to talk her out of the hell she found herself in. Nothing worked. In the end she slipped away from me into a world even I denied existed. I'm hear to tell you when I saw the world she was in it was shocking to me. I truly thought I had seen the worse, I was so wrong. By all standrads, she was in a living hell. I will never be the same person. It has affected me unlike even I could imagine.
I cared for this friend and became close to her over the past few months. I still care for her, but I'm coming to grips with the fact that will never be enough. She put herself into this hell by her own bad choices.
She dissappear from reality last week. I hunted for her in some of the worse places imaginable this past Friday. I kept telling myself I just want to find her alive. As it turns out, it might have been better to find her dead. I will never forget where I did find her and the shape she was in. I looked into her eyes and where I used to see that sparkle of light, incredible sense of humor and the warmest heart I've ever felt I saw nothing but cold emptiness. A look devoid of life, a ghost of former herself.
The life lesson I have learned is simple. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, friends sometimes can not be saved from themselves. It's a harsh reality pill to swallow and I'm still trying to choke it down 48 hours later.
The details are irrelevant. What is important in the message is in this world there is a lot of sadness that is out of our control. You can spend a lifetime living the right way, surround yourself with family and good friends and darkness can still rear it's ugly head. That is life.
Cherish your friends. Try to keep an eye on them. Don't view them through rose colored glasses, you might miss something important. And never forget that sometimes no matter what you do, you can not save some of them. All you can do is be there to pick up the pieces.
Rob "Stinger" Lordier
You like poems? --> Voicesnet.com
Creator of the original Privateer FAQ
old Favorite saying - No good deed goes unpunished
Edited by - Stinger on 1/29/2006 12:09:11 PM