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The Comical, Amusing and Nonsensical Thread
This is where you can discuss your homework, family, just about anything, make strange sounds and otherwise discuss things which are really not related to the Lancer-series. Yes that means you can discuss other games.
Horrid Maths Joke:
Noah was walking along the beach when two snakes came up to him, both looked very unhappy.
“What’s the matter?” Noah asked. “Why are you so sad?”
“We can’t multiply,” one of the snakes replied.
“Why not?”
“We’re adders”
Noah gave this some thought then thought of a solution. He went into the forest and cut down some trees and spent the rest of the day sawing them. He showed his results to the snakes and they went away, happy.
Later on, he was discussing his experience with Mrs. Noah. She asked him what he had done with all the wood.
“It’s simple,” Noah replied, “even adders can multiply with a log table.”
Cynical finance:
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, at least give me the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at 2 dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."
Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his 2 dollars back."
Noah was walking along the beach when two snakes came up to him, both looked very unhappy.
“What’s the matter?” Noah asked. “Why are you so sad?”
“We can’t multiply,” one of the snakes replied.
“Why not?”
“We’re adders”
Noah gave this some thought then thought of a solution. He went into the forest and cut down some trees and spent the rest of the day sawing them. He showed his results to the snakes and they went away, happy.
Later on, he was discussing his experience with Mrs. Noah. She asked him what he had done with all the wood.
“It’s simple,” Noah replied, “even adders can multiply with a log table.”
Cynical finance:
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."
Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Kenny said, "OK then, at least give me the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Kenny, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at 2 dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."
Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Kenny, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his 2 dollars back."
Why I am tired........
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason:
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
Here's why ..... The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason:
I'm tired because I'm overworked.
Here's why ..... The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
ECHO! *Listens* Sheesh, this is one quiet thread. I blame that rabbit-fellow. I would have thought that people would be posting pointless minutiae *here* at least. In that spirit, I would show ye this... not as much for its comedic value, but rather the references to a great series of computer games that reside within in it. Picture HERE. Any takers? I'll be disappointed if no-one gets it...
Edited by - esquilax on 11/22/2006 5:53:07 PM
Edited by - esquilax on 11/22/2006 5:53:07 PM
This is the point where you stop playing.
http://my.break.com/media/view.aspx?ContentID=185426
http://my.break.com/media/view.aspx?ContentID=185426