Emotional bullying- being told everyday that you are stupid, that you are not good enough, that you are an idiot, that you are not good enough
A friend of mine goes thru this, I can see what its doing to him, it will leave him scarred for life, he already has an obsession about getting a gf becus of all the jokes, and becus of that obsession it will be difficult to get a gf
In short, this bullying could be destoying his life and then physical bullying is added as well and the best of all, the teachers dont do anything bout it, they just laugh bout it or tell him to ignore it, they dont realise how bad it actually is.
I must say, I really dont know how he manage to cope with it, we're not talking small amounts of bullying, I'm talking constant non-ending(he's in the hostel as well)

Most of the time the bullies only do it to impress other ppl, to feel big, when they are actually stupid idiotic cowards

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Most emotional and verbal bullying is jealousy. Bullies that say things like "you're an idiot" and "nobody likes you" are doing so to make themselves feel better. They feel inadequate, so they make you feel inadequate instead. Most of us have been through it at some stage in some form or other. Eventually it just bounces off, but it can take a long time to get that resistant

- mostly to make themselves look better, tougher than others.. to make sure they dominate a small group of people or society, like a school playground or some such.

- to ridicule people they don't like. this dislike may come from several factors...
jealousy.. from grades, from parent's wealth.. popularity, relationship with someone the bully likes... list is endless.

i'm not sure about the bully because they were bullied part, having never been a bully as such, myself.

This case works a bit different, i dont want to go into it on here, but he doesnt react like other ppl to stuff like this

oh btw, bullying cant be a reason here, there is just nothing to be jealous off

Edited by - sycho_warrior on 7/11/2004 3:36:19 AM

@Sycho_warrior

It sounds terrible what your friend is going through. My old Secondary school (I think thats High School US equivilant) have policies in place for bullies and the bullied. They offer counselling to the victims and the bullies themselves are warned and if it continues are can be expelled. The only problem is you can't gurantee that a person will stay expelled. The parents can complain and 9.9/10 the bully gets back in to school. When i was bullied (physical only) i was about 7 years old in middle school. I spoke to my parents about, they spoke to my teacher beacuse it always sounds serious coming from them, and it was arranged that the two bullies and i would get in early one morning and talk it out. This really did work and the two bullies were soon my best friends. It created sort of a mutual respect between the 3 of us.

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Emotional bullying is more destructive than anything, even moreso than physical. I was occasionally pummeled in primary school, but I was that little kid who was more vicious than the bullies. Then they whittled my confidence down with taunts and put-downs. I was originally a rather bright child, proclaimed by a school councillor as 'gifted'. The bullies at my school learned that whenever i was about to succeed, they would somehow beat me at it. Then you had them 'using' other smarter students (through fear) to beat me at my own game and then ridicule me for being wrong.

Now I could have gone a couple of different ways.

1: Total Nerd, devoted to success, and self punishing for failure.
2: Violent psycho, hellbent on payback, similar to the columbine kids.
3: Underachiever, just gave up and coasted along on what i knew.

Thankfully i turned out like no. 3, and didn't become a total perfectionist, or violent.
-:-
Vi

There are more choices

You've got to understand why sometimes the school won't crack down on the bully immediately. If they did that I would have got expelled for something I didn't do. When I was about 6 I fell out with a couple of my friends and they said they'd get me in trouble. The next day I was kept behind at lunch and my teacher started to accuse me of bullying my friends! For a few months after I had to steer completely clear of them to avoid being accused of being a bully again and getting in more trouble. I guess that's the cruelty of playground politics for you, but at least most teachers are aware of that.

@Vi, sometimes I hate the vicious little guys. They see me and I get targetted in no time! There was one guy at judo who would love to stamp on my foot and then drag it across so all the little hairs on the top of my foot got pulled out . Admittedly I was just as evil back to him by picking him up and spinning him upside down

Fighting back, sometimes, and only sometimes, gets you a repreave from bullying. In high school shop class, a kid 1 year younger decided he was going to bully me. Todate, I had managed to avoid any serious bullying. But this guy decided to mak me his target. I weighed in at about 145lbs and he the same. I was in the 11th grade at the time. He began to harase me one day. I shoved him back from me and he picked up a 2x4 and hit me on the head with it It made me so mad, that I picked him up, turned him upside down and dropped him straight on his head on the concrete floor. He got a goose egg about 3 inchs across. The teacher at the time thought we both had enough and did not suspend us. The only good that came from it, was this guy avoided me completely afterward. The thing is, i could have broken his neck doing that. I got lucky all the way around.


Edited by - Finalday on 7/11/2004 8:59:05 AM

being psychotic at times preserved my sanity. that and the contents of my pockets.

But in high school, I learned that I could blend in better, rather than make an obvious target. Then i learnt the fine art of precicley insulting ones mother.
Now before you say anything bad, these are works of art, and are taken lightly, but revenge is usually in an even craftier joke.

Best one i pulled was this:
At my school, the school captain, whom i call grantie, is the recipient of this joke. Now, I have been trying to form a band, and i was talking to some friends about what i was lookng for. Liz suggested that i talk to grantie about being a singer, and naturally, i questioned why.
She replied with: well, hes got a good lung capacity, and a loud voice.
and heres the kicker joke: Wow, it must be genetic, his mum screams for hours!

genereal laughter from all.
-:-
Vi

well i was bullied through most of my school life, both physically and emotionally, it really started in grade 4 in primary school, at high school it was on and off through out the 4 years i was there.

all of this caused me to start putting an imaginary shell around me and start to hide my true feelings(also started contemplating suidice!!!).

it was only last year when i started college, i only started to get back my self confidence and self esteem back. even now i still leave ppl i dont know to well in my outer shell, but if u earn my trust i will let u in, the only person i can really trust all my secrets is my gf, which i have only recently gotten enough courage to ask her out, since we have been friends for 8 years now, she was the only reason y i didnt try to hang myslef.

but now if it ever started happening again, i would just ignore it if it was verbal, physically i would seek legal action.

That's why I mentioned aikido. It teaches mental self defense discipline as well which I meant to be for dealing with emotional bullying.

Emotional bullies rely upon the victim's self doubts to wound the victim. Aikido's discipline is intended to help give you solid reasons for not having those doubts.

Bullies usually are cowards at heart. That's why they are bullies in the first place. It is the only way they know to compensate for the fact that they live in fear of being bullied themselves. That's why they are so particularly capable of being cruel to others. They know whereof they torment.

yeah indy the one that gave me my knee problems was a coward because he attacked me from behind if he was a man he would have faced me i'd have been happy to fight him. so i know what its like to put up with bullies had 13 years experience with them and all of the ones i've met where cowards

heck, iam in the last year of high school and last year i had to call the cops on my x gf (flipen B.) because she keep herassing me and crap. she screwed up my socail life at school and i lost all of my friends because of her. iam gona shutup before i get madder...
but all the teachers are doing is doing the students who bully an faver by takeing them out of the classroom and such. but thats what i think on it.